The Asterios Feed Where Asterios Puts Things

#62: Duke Nukem Fill In by Asterios Kokkinos & Sriancha

#61: Batshit Crazy Movie Idea by Asterios Kokkinos & Sriancha

Natalie writes, "Pitch a show starring a RE-PURPOSED Emergency Engineering Hologram from the Star Trek universe. The only rules are that the hologram has to be modeled after the TNG/Voyager era Lt Broccoli; and our fearful and socially awkward hologram can go anywhere thanks to a mobile emitter or whatever bullshit technobabble. But most importantly, the hologram CAN NEVER BE TURNED OFF, unless "death" occurs. The series has to last at least 5 seasons, so no permakilling our hero outright. Oh, and don't forget, It's an engineering hologram repurposed to do [INSERT YOUR BRILLIANT IDEA HERE]"

Steve asks, "Why is Hulk Hogan the greatest cartoon character ever?" Uh...I can justify this! To get your own personal episode of The Five Minute Podcast, visit patreon.com/asterios

Oscar writes, "Long Island has been quarantined from the rest of the US. All airports closed, the rivers have been mined, and air traffic is stopped. Tell me, how does the population fare and when does it all end?" I've been planning for this my whole life! To get your own personal episode of The Five Minute Podcast, visit patreon.com/asterios

Jorge writes, "Do a podcast as Skeletor listing his top 10 favorite ways to kill and/or seduce Heman." I can't wait! To get your own personal episode of The Five Minute Podcast, visit patreon.com/asterios

Lakembra writes, "Shit, I forgot about this month's podcast and now I left it too late! Fuck, fuck, I don't know what to write! Asterios, help!" OK! To get your own personal episode of The Five Minute podcast, visit patreon.com/asterios

Max asks, "People often confuse Mastodons with Wooly Mammothses, this is racist. What other kinds of aminals (prehistoric or otherwise) suffer similar kinds of prejudices?" To get your own personal episode of The Five Minute Podcast, visit patreon.com/asterios

Kevin asks, "If you woke up was Rob Schneider tomorrow (just like one of his 1995-2003 feature films) what would your biggest regret as an actor be, and what would be your next move to reinvent yourself as AMERICA'S MOST SOUGHT AFTER ACTOR?" I have the correct answer! To get your own personal episode of The Five Minute Podcast, visit patreon.com/asterios [JUN '17: 001]

To get your own personal episode of The Five Minute Podcast, visit patreon.com/asterios [MAY '17: 074]

Tab asks, "Describe the hellish existence of NPCs in the Mario Universe. What is it like to constantly be crushed to death only to to reborn and crushed again by a Plumber that is being cucked by a giant turtle?" Let's get into it! To get your own personal episode of The Five Minute Podcast, visit patreon.com/asterios [MAY '17: 054]

Clay R. writes, "Pitch 'BoShek: A Star Wars Story,' and I'll illustrate a killer movie poster for it!)" UH, OK!!! To get your own personal episode of The Five Minute Podcast, visit patreon.com/asterios [MAY '17: 075]

Fred asks, "Tell me a super sad story that will surely make me cry."

Darren writes, "What would Die Hard be like if you replaced John McClane with Jar Jar Binks?" Oh, prolly not that different. To get your own personal episode of The Five Minute Podcast, visit patreon.com/asterios [APR '17: 051]

Dan asks, "If you could punch one person in the dick with no consequences whatsoever who would it be and why?" Dick punchin', here I come! To get your own personal episode of The Five Minute Podcast, visit patreon.com/asterios [APR '17: 031]