Run, Selfie, Repeat

You know those days when you're so mad and frustrated that you can't get anything done, or sleep, and you just want to shoot laser beams out of your eyeballs? That's how my day went down yesterday. Let's talk about how I get through bad days.

The more we define what we can and can't do, the worse off we are. One of the hardest parts about climbing self doubt mountain is redefining my pre-defined limits. It drives me crazy that before I even try, I can convince myself that I'm going to fail or fall short. One of my favorite parts about running is that it's a constant reminder that it's not about how badly you want something, it's about how hard you're willing to work for it. And you have to believe that you're stronger than you think. Let's talk about how running is helping me redefine my pre-defined limits.

CAN WE TAKE A SECOND TO TALK ABOUT THE LITTLE VOICE IN THE BACK OF OUR HEADS THAT TELLS US WE AREN'T GOOD ENOUGH, SMART ENOUGH, QUALIFIED ENOUGH, OR PRETTY ENOUGH??? Woah, sorry about the caps. That was aggressive. BUT (sorry, there they are again), I want to talk about the fact that the only thing stopping us from making impossible possible.

Struggling with a big decision? Feeling a little intimidated and doubtful? Today I want to talk about a few of the things I do to transform myself into a brave badass warrior women when I'm struggling to believe in myself.  

I think for so many people, running is so much more than a way to chase goals or stay in shape. We're literally running for our lives. But what happens when you start stepping out side of your comfort zone and start chasing an impossible goal? It's possible that the activity that felt like your lifeline may start to feel more like a chore and a job. Can you run for your life and still push your limits? I think it's a balance. Sometimes it's hard to find that balance but change doesn't happen overnight. Dare to fail. Dare to try something new. Don't just run, run for your life.

There's a lyric in Hamilton, An American Musical that helped me find my voice, "Who lives, who dies, who tells your story." I was watching the Hamilton documentary on KPBS and listening to Lin Manuel Miranda talk about purpose and the importance of preserving our stories changed the way I approached my blog, Run, Selfie, Repeat. Up until that point, I was sharing bits and pieces of my story but I stuck mostly with funny articles.  All we have is our story. And for me, one of the hardest parts about my grief or even my struggle to lose weight was that I felt alone. So today, let's talk about why our stories are so important to be shared and preserved. 

One of the hardest parts about adopting a healthy lifestyle or becoming a runner is that it can easily feel overwhelming or impossible. Pushing your limits and stepping outside of your comfort zone is hard! Results don’t happen overnight. It’s a slow progression and in the beginning, it's hard to trust that the painful work you’re putting in will eventually pay off. Let's talk about how the power of patience can help you kick ass and take names.

What makes someone an athlete? That's what we're talking about because calling myself an athlete is something I've struggled with since day 1. From feeling "slow" to not feeling like I looked like an athlete, I've come up with every excuse in the book to keep myself from accepting that I am in fact an athlete. 

How do you define success? Is it monetary? Something that can be measured by your societal status? Or, to steal from the musical Rent, can it be measured in moments and love? Next week, I move back to New York City and if I'm being honest, I'm anxious about the move. New York City is a really tough place to live and after last year, I thought I was done with being chewed up and spit out. 

Online bullying and shaming is something I've lived with for the better part of the past 4 years I've spent building Run, Selfie, Repeat but my first experience with it shaped how I view online bullying and shaming for the rest of my life. Today, I'm all about advocating for compassion because regardless of how inexcusable someone's mistakes may be, I don't condone the schadenfreude that surrounds online witch hunts.

I started chasing my impossible goal to qualify for the Boston Marathon (BQ) in April 2016. In order to qualify, I had to take myself and training seriously in order to take my personal best time from 3 hours and 59 minutes down to 3 hours and 35 minutes.  Ever wonder what it would be like if an amateur runner had the help of a sports psychologist? Meet Dr. Bob! The former head of Sports Psychology at UCLA and a licensed psychologist, Dr. Bob has helped me battle some of my toughest mental battles. Today, he's checking in with me as I approach my second Boston Marathon qualifying attempt. 

For so many who struggle with their weight or feel insecure about their weight, it's hard not to let your weight define who you are. Here's the thing, your weight doesn't define you. It isn't your entire story, it's just a chapter or single book in the series that is your life. 

My issue with ‘Before and After’ photos is that they place the before photos in a context that implies that it’s unacceptable to look like what we look like in our after photos. Newsflash: If you're on a weight loss journey, it doesn't matter how much weight you lose because if you fail to work on a positive body image, you're in for a rude awakening when you look in the mirror and feel inadequate when you reach your goal.  I'm all for advocating for working towards the strongest version of yourself possible, but when we compare before and after photos, we're implying that there is something implicitly wrong or unattractive about our before selves. And it needs to stop.

Loss and the grief that follows it is unimaginable. It's this awful club that none of us really want to belong to. But even though our pain and grief may manifest itself differently, we all know what it's like to have someone taken from us. It's unfair. But it's a huge part of who I am because when I lost my brother, I lost a piece of myself. There’s nothing I wouldn’t give to have my brother back. It took a long time for my anger to turn into gratitude, but with time and patience, my grief changed the way I see the world and live my life.

Let's talk about my arch nemesis, rejection. I think rejection isn’t a death sentence, I think it’s just a reminder to work your patience muscle and keep fighting. Sometimes no does in fact mean no but more often than not, I think no really means not right now. But because our relationship to rejection, failure, and no is built on sand, we crumble and fall apart whenever it happens.