Smalley Marriage Radio

We are going to help a guy overcome one of the most stressful, biologically powerful, testosterone driven, spiritual decaying, all encompassing, marriage destroying....have we got your attention yet? Today we are going to get real about LUST and what Gary Smalley did to finally win some victories over it and how you can beat it to, only on the Smalley Podcast! BROUGHT TO YOU BY SMALLEY CENTER - 96% OF OUR FORMER COUPLES WOULD RECOMMEND OUR PROGRAM TO YOU IF YOUR MARRIAGE NEEDED HELP! CALL US AT 800-975-8748. “Love grows. Lust wastes by Enjoyment, and the Reason is, that one springs from a Union of Souls, and the other from a Union of Sense.” William Penn A question from one of our listeners, “Dr. Smalley, Please share with me how the Lord gave you victory over lustful thoughts, especially sexual thoughts. In Jesus’ name.” 1 Peter 2:11 NLT “Dear friends, I warn you as “temporary residents and foreigners” to keep away from worldly desires that wage war against your very souls.” TED Talks - Philip Zimbardo: The demise of guys (http://www.ted.com/talks/zimchallenge.html) The difference between Porn addiction and all other addictions! 1. The difference between our conscience mind and our heart 2. What’s in our heart, flows Galatians 5:13-14 “For you have been called to live in freedom, my brothers and sisters. But don’t use your freedom to satisfy your sinful nature. Instead, use your freedom to serve one another in love.14 For the whole law can be summed up in this one command: “Love your neighbor as yourself.” 3. Change our heart through excited new thoughts, which overshadow the old ones Gary’s favorite verse to memorize and meditate on! John 15:9-14 “I have loved you even as the Father has loved me. Remain in my love. 10 When you obey my commandments, you remain in my love, just as I obey my Father’s commandments and remain in his love. 11 I have told you these things so that you will be filled with my joy. Yes, your joy will overflow! 12 This is my commandment: Love each other in the same way I have loved you. 13 There is no greater love than to lay down one’s life for one’s friends.14 You are my friends if you do what I command. BROUGHT TO YOU BY THE SMALLEY CENTER - 8 OUT OF 10 COUPLES ARE STILL TOGETHER AND HAPPILY MARRIED...EVEN WHEN THEY THOUGHT THERE WASN’T A CHANCE FOR THEIR MARRIAGE! FIND OUT HOW AT HERE OR CALL US AT 800.975.8748. LEAVE A REVIEW ON ITUNES - (IT REALLY HELPS PEOPLE FIND THE SHOW) FEATURED RESOURCE BUY NOW ARTIST HIGHLIGHT FOURTEEN40 – Lucky Number 13 – Click here to view on iTunes

Learn 4 ways you can handle difficult people. (Of course I got this from an original list of 7 ways at PsychologyToday.com....but that is what the Smalley Podcast is all about, making things simpler!) LEAVE A REVIEW ON ITUNES - (IT REALLY HELPS PEOPLE FIND THE SHOW) BROUGHT TO YOU BY SMALLEY CENTER - 96% OF OUR FORMER COUPLES WOULD RECOMMEND OUR PROGRAM TO YOU IF YOUR MARRIAGE NEEDED HELP! SMALLEY CENTER OR CALL US AT 800-975-8748 THAT’S 800-975-8748. 7 Ways to Defuse a Difficult Encounter Having learned the hard way, Vancouver physician (and PT blogger) Susan Biali offers concrete steps for dealing with unreasonable person. (http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/prescriptions-life) Minimize time with problem people.
 [I always say “short and simple”] Give up the dream that they will one day be the person you wish them to be. There are people in our lives who have moments when they seem to be the parent/partner/spouse/friend/whatever we've always wanted. Yet they end up disappointing or hurting us. Accepting the person as is can be a remarkable relief. Avoid topics that get you into trouble. Before any interaction with a difficult person, mentally review the topics that invite attack and make an effort to avoid them. If your in-laws always demean your choice of career, change the topic immediately if they ask how your work is going. Don't try to get them to see your point of view. Don't try to explain yourself or get them to empathize with you.They won't. And you'll just feel worse for trying. The problem with difficult people, for me, is that they don’t want to change. Please pay attention to #1! I was speaking to a group of youth pastors....when out on a date with your spouse, how do you tell someone who’s called you and has an emergency that you can’t come and help them? Don’t answer the phone! BROUGHT TO YOU BY THE SMALLEY CENTER - 8 OUT OF 10 COUPLES ARE STILL TOGETHER AND HAPPILY MARRIED...EVEN WHEN THEY THOUGHT THERE WASN’T A CHANCE FOR THEIR MARRIAGE! FIND OUT HOW HERE OR CALL US AT 800.975.8748 THAT’S 800.975.8748. FEATURED RESOURCE FROM THE SHOW Buy Now ARTIST HIGHLIGHT FOURTEEN40 - Lucky Number 13 - Click here to view on iTunes

The new discernment counseling - to divorce or not to divorce that is the question In today’s show you will.... To divorce or not to divorce....that is the question on today’s show where you will learn What a new form of couples therapy is all about called “Discernment Counseling” started by Bill Doherty, from the University of Minnesota. And the signs of whether you should call it quits or if you should hang in there! LEAVE A REVIEW ON ITUNES - (IT REALLY HELPS PEOPLE FIND THE SHOW) BROUGHT TO YOU BY SMALLEY CENTER - 96% OF OUR FORMER COUPLES WOULD RECOMMEND OUR PROGRAM TO YOU IF YOUR MARRIAGE NEEDED HELP! SMALLEYCENTER.COM OR CALL US AT 800-975-8748 THAT’S 800-975-8748. CLIP FROM RICKY BOBBY Why that clip? Because the first priority of today’s show is to make sure that everyone listening fully understands how stupid divorce is. Now don’t feel ashamed if you’ve already been divorced, but you actually know what I’m talking about! Discernment Counseling is... Makes a couple decide what they are doing in counseling Puts them on a track right from the beginning This is what I do in intensives, so I like it, but the research is still out. So when should you call it quits? Physical or emotional abuse. (listen to the show on what defines emotional abuse) When should you hang in there? Poor communication or conflict resolution That’s it! There’s not a million other reasons! HIGHLIGHTED RESOURCES ON THE SHOW The Surprising Way to a Stronger Marriage - click here ARTIST HIGHLIGHT FOURTEEN40 - Lucky Number 13 - Click here to view on iTunes

In today’s show you will.... Understand what Jesus taught about compassion and what that matters to your relationship. Finally understand why Jesus probably didn’t really care about slapping so much, as he did about your attitude toward the people who irritate you the most! The easiest way to win an argument LEAVE A REVIEW ON ITUNES - (IT REALLY HELPS PEOPLE FIND THE SHOW) BROUGHT TO YOU BY SMALLEY CENTER - 96% OF OUR FORMER COUPLES WOULD RECOMMEND OUR PROGRAM TO YOU IF YOUR MARRIAGE NEEDED HELP! Mark Opperman, a pastor, once said this “We must be more concerned with showing the generous love of God than with receiving proper treatment from others.” Teaches about Revenge (this is really about compassion) Matthew 5:38-42 NLT 38 “You have heard the law that says the punishment must match the injury: ‘An eye for an eye, and a tooth for a tooth.’39 But I say, do not resist an evil person! If someone slaps you on the right cheek, offer the other cheek also.40 If you are sued in court and your shirt is taken from you, give your coat, too.41 If a soldier demands that you carry his gear for a mile,t carry it two miles. 42 Give to those who ask, and don’t turn away from those who want to borrow. Point #1 - Be who you want others to be! Show it, and stop expecting it. Point #2 - If they don’t respond, get over it. They eventually will unless you somehow managed to marry pure evil. Point #3 - The easiest way to win an argument, think about what you are wanting, and then give that to them. Purchase Today - click here A how-to book for men that seeks to clarify distinctions between the sexes with a view toward building a stronger marital relationship with this understanding. ARTIST HIGHLIGHT FOURTEEN40 - Lucky Number 13 - Click here to view on iTunes

Learn 2 very powerful ways you can earn back trust, even through hurt like infidelity, in your marriage! RESOURCE HIGHLIGHT Click here to purchase today. ARTIST HIGHLIGHT FOURTEEN40 - Lucky Number 13 - Click here to view on iTunes

I take a question from a listener in Dallas, Texas who's husband just doesn't want to change. What is her responsibility in the marriage and how can she get him to do the right thing?

We give you 4 things you can do to handle a spouse, child, or other important person who simply doesn't want to change in today's show. Be careful, you'll have to stay till the end to hear the 4 summarized completely =] LEAVE A REVIEW ON ITUNES - (IT REALLY HELPS PEOPLE FIND THE SHOW)

What's the best way to respond to someone when they come after you in the worst way? Listen to the podcast and find out what Jesus says to do in these matters and how I (Gary) had to react just the other day!

This episode I have a little fun with something my son emailed me! It's an application for boys who would want to date my daughter.  But the more I thought about it, the more I realized it actually makes a lot of sense! Listen and find out why getting boys to fear you might actually be a good idea.

I had a wonderful conversation with my 15-year old son, Cole, today in the jacuzzi.  I couldn't believe the advice he told me to give every parent of a teenage son! You won't want to miss this episode if you're a parent.

This is the episode we hope to surprise you with! We are continuing to focus on Jesus, and in this episode, we thing you might be surprised by what you don't know about Jesus...and this is something you'd better make sure and correct.  So listen up and pay attention. Here's a working list of Jesus' Commands: This is a list I’ve (Gary) found that really helped me start meditating and memorizing Jesus' commands... Thou shalt worship the Lord thy God, and him only shalt thou serve (Mt.4:10). Repent (Mt.4:17). Follow me (Mt.4:19). Rejoice when you are persecuted (Mt.5:12). Let your light shine before men (Mt.5:16). Don't break or despise even the least of God's commandments (Mt.5:19). Don't be angry with your brother (Mt.5:22). Be reconciled with your neighbor before approaching God in worship (Mt.5:24). Don't look at a woman to lust for her (Mt.5:28). Be radical in resisting sin (cutting off the right hand) (Mt.5:30). Don't swear frivolously (Mt.5:34). Be meek; don't seek your rights (Mt.5:38-40). Love your enemy (Mt.5:44). Bless those who curse you (Mt.5:44). Do good to those who hate you (Mt.5:44). Pray for your abusers (Mt.5:44). Be perfect as your heavenly Father is perfect (Mt.5:48). Don't be a show-off in your profession of faith (Mt.6:1ff.). Don't be short-sighted in storing up your treasures: think of the after-life (Mt.6:19-21). Be wholly devoted in your service to God (Mt.6:24). Don't worry; don't be anxious (Mt.6:25ff.). Don't be judgmental and censorious (Mt.7:1ff.). Don't give what is holy to the dogs (Mt.7:6). Pray fervently and persistently (Mt.7:7ff.). Whatever you want men to do to you, do also to them (Mt.7:12). Seek salvation God's way: enter by the narrow way (Mt.7:13). Take heed of false prophets (Mt.7:15). Test the false prophets by their works, and by whether their doctrine accords with Scripture (Mt.7:16ff.). Don't just listen to my teaching: obey it and do it (Mt.7:24ff.). Be concerned about missions (Mt.9:37,38). Confess me before men (Mt.10:32). Be willing to lose your life for my sake (Mt.10:39). Don't be offended because of me (Mt.11:4-6). Take my yoke upon you and learn of me (Mt.11:29). Take heed of your speech (Mt.12:36). Don't add tradition or anything else to the Word of God (Mt.15:1-9). Beware of hypocrisy (Mt.16:5). Practice self-denial (Mt.16:24). Take up the cross (Mt.16:24). Humble yourself (Mt.18:4,5). Be careful not to offend the least of believers (Mt.18:6,7). Take heed that you do not despise one of these little ones (Mt.18:10). Practice healthy and loving church discipline (Mt.18:15-20). Forgive everyone at all times and at every occasion for whatever offenses he commits against you (Mt.18:21ff.). Don't divorce your wife (Mt.19:1ff.). Let the little children come to me (Mt.19:13). Obey the Ten Commandments (Mt.19:16-22). Don't profane divine ordinances (Mt.21:12-13). Have faith in God; do not doubt Him (Mt.21:21,22). Render to Caesar his due and to God His due (Mt.22:21). Love the Lord your God with all your being (Mt.22:37,38). Love all fellow-men as you love yourself (Mt.22:39). Observe the Supper in my remembrance (Mt.26:26-29). Don't tempt God (Mt. 4:7)

The thing about helping Christian marriages is that they often feel like talking about Jesus or about prayer is "over spiritualizing" their situation.  Well let me set the record straight my friends, if you ain't talking about Jesus and prayer, and your relationship is hurting, then maybe it's time you learned what Jesus said about prayer and how it can revolutionize your relationship!

Today we share about what Jesus said in Matthew 5 on turning the other cheek and what that can possibly mean for your marriage! Jesus' words are truly transformational, and they can be for your relationship, so please listen carefully to this podcast, and the upcoming episodes, because they are all focused on Jesus' words and how they can impact your relationship.

In the final episode of Infected, we talk about the danger of avoiding trials, and why trials are actually a good thing!

This is our 3rd show in the series called, Infected: the 4 parasites that will destroy your life and spirituality. Learn what pleasure seeking is and how to eliminate it from your life.