The Brian Howard Podcast

Lili VonSchtupp Brian opens the show by recounting what caused the six week interruption in the show, it involves a pig and a human heart. Then the drama of Brian's dog and the neighbors continues. Brian and Jack then welcome burlesque performer and producer Lili VonSchtupp of Monday Night Tease and we learn some early history of burlesque. Then Lili shares her first experience dancing on stage. Then Lili, Brian and Jack discuss the current state of sexuality in America. Visit Monday Night Tease at: www.mondaynighttease.com Interested in learning the art of burlesque performing? Visit Lili's School For Wayward Girls at http://burlesqueclasses.com/ Visit www.Classicshaving.com and use the promo code to get 10% off your order. Visit www.jenkinsjellies.com and use the discount code to get 15% off your order. Show music by Beulah And The Beat www.beulahandthebeat.com HELP SUPPORT THE SHOW. DONATE, DONATE, DONATE! www.brianhowardcomedy.com

Bailey Ryan NOTE: This show features frank conversations about sex, we don't know who this frank guy is but he's here and he wont shut up about sex. The show opens with a vocal hug to our biggest fan Louis Bigelow. Then after landing on Mars all Jenny can think about is how her father gave crappy gifts. Brian reminds people who think that the money we spend on science would be better spent on feeding the poor to use that energy by ACTUALLY FEEDING THE POOR, visit the link below to give to Feed The Children. In the second act we meet sex expert Bailey Ryan who tells us how you get to be a sex therapist. Then we find out that Jack's favorite comic book character is Silver Surfer. Then we answer some listener questions about wedding night sex and open relationships. Also do speed humps turn you on? Play along with the sex quiz and try to beat the cast (Note: have your jello shots ready before you start the quiz) Find Bailey Ryan on Twitter @ChireBailey and read her at http://mensconfidence.com See Brian at the Big Bear City Renaissance Faire August 11,12 & 18,19 http://www.bbvrsinc.org/BBRenFaire.html Put your money where your mouth is and give to Feed The Children http://www.feedthechildren.org Visit www.Classicshaving.com and use the promo code to get 10% off your order. Visit www.jenkinsjellies.com and use the discount code to get 15% off your order. Show music by Beulah And The Beat www.beulahandthebeat.com HELP SUPPORT THE SHOW. DONATE, DONATE, DONATE! www.brianhowardcomedy.com

Bryan Coffee Brian, Jack, Jenny and Maria open the show hearing the tale of how Maria got off jury duty. Then we meet special guest writer/actor/director Bryan Coffee creator of the show Brink Of Extinction. Brian explains why NBC sucks and Bryan explains why the Olympic opening ceremonies suck. Then we hear about why every woman in New York City should go topless and why you will never watch The Matrix again without thinking about surgery. Afterwards the gang take the first ever listener created quiz sent in by Casey Severn. See Bryan Coffee in his show Brink Of Extinction, August 8th at 8 PM at the Steve Allen Theater 4773 Hollywood Blvd. Los Angeles CA. Brian, Jack and Jenny will all be in attendance so it's not like you won't know somebody. Get your tickets here: http://trepanyhouse.tix.com/Event.aspx?EventCode=495415 Visit www.Classicshaving.com and use the promo code to get 10% off your order. Visit www.jenkinsjellies.com and use the discount code to get 15% off your order. Show music by Beulah And The Beat www.beulahandthebeat.com HELP SUPPORT THE SHOW. DONATE, DONATE, DONATE! www.brianhowardcomedy.com

Fleshy Door Knob Brian, Jack, Cowen and Linda hook up for a show that starts with Brian telling about yet another car accident on his block and everybody tries to figure out a way to slow people down. Then Jack shows Brian his new flash light and it ends badly. Jack then tells about his nose surgery and we learn how to break a nose. Then, would you cover your body with Miley Cyrus tattoos? Somebody did. Finally, Anderson Cooper comes out as gay and Jack feels better about that. Then a listener question leads to a discussion on what words you still can't say. Correction: Jack would like to mention that the language of the Wookies is Shyriiwook and NOT Kashyyyk as he stated. He regrets the mistake. Visit www.Classicshaving.com and use promo code 'BRIANH' to get 10% off your order. Visit www.jenkinsjellies.com and use discount code 'BRIANH' to get 15% off your order. Don't forget to stop by the website www.brianhowardcomedy.com to donate to the show. See Brian at the Canturbery Renaissance Faire in Silverton Oregon July 14,15 & 21, 22 http://www.canterburyfaire.com/ See Jack at combat con in Las Vegas July 7 & 8 www.combatcon.com Find Cowen at www.carpediemmartialarts.com

Maria Howard and Linda Wasserman bring you The Whyves. Maria and Linda open the show with tales of unfortunate hair problems and why using too many flourishes or being a wet kisser is a turn off. Then after a conversation on television and technology we learn why Maria's husband Brian will never be well moistened. Finally Linda and Maria try to figure out why men lose their manners after marriage. (hint, it involves sex and eating) Then Linda gets stabbed in the face with a fork. Please visit www.classicshaving.com and use promo code "BRIANH" to receive 10% off your purchase. Also please try Jenkin's Jellies at www.jenkinsjellies.com and order some delicious Hell Fire Pepper Jelly. As a special bonus for our listeners use promo code 'BRIANH' to get a 15% discount. Please consider supporting TBHS with a small donation over at www.brianhowardcomedy.com. Without you guys, we are nothing. Go LIKE The Brian Howard Show at facebook.com/TheBrianHowardShow Show music provided by Beulah And The Beat www.beulahandthebeat.com

Tilting Kilts Brian, Linda, Dave and Maria start the show trying to figure out hipster iced tea and why it sucks. Then Maria tells Brian he's wrong. Then we find out that Maria was wrong. After which the great pizza vs. flat bread debate begins, which leads to a call to the Tilted Kilt. Brian talks about why Pixar is better than all other animation studios, which leads to Linda's Jewish version of Brave. Then in the news we learn that a prominent "cure the gay" movement finally admits that being gay can't be cured. Afterwards an accused New York Madam leads to an in depth discussion about matchmaking and strangely, it's both fascinating and funny. Finally Brian expresses his regret that he wont be able to perform for some of his favorite audiences in Ohio. Please visit www.classicshaving.com and use promo code "BRIANH" to receive 10% off your purchase. Also please try Jenkin's Jellies at www.jenkinsjellies.com and order some deliscious Hell Fire Pepper Jelly. As a special bonus for our listeners use promo code 'BRIANH' to get a 15% discount. Please consider supporting TBHS with a small donation over at www.brianhowardcomedy.com. Without you guys, we are nothing. Go LIKE The Brian Howard Show at facebook.com/TheBrianHowardShow Show music provided by Beulah And The Beat www.beulahandthebeat.com

Bill Chott Brian, Jenny and Dave welcome actor, comedian and improvisational instructor Bill Chott to the show. We relive Bills first time on stage and discuss kid theater and the possible connection to todays over indulged generation. Then Bill reveals his first prize ever. Later Bill talks about his improvisational theater instruction group The Improv Trick. Then the gang talks about improvisational philosophy and Bill offers some enlightened thoughts on learning how to improvise that everybody can use. Then Jenny tells about her recent dabbling in voodoo and her up-comming crime spree. Then Jenny repels another would be suitor. Bill talks about playing a mentally challenged character in The Ringer and Fred Mertz in I Love Lucy Live On Stage. Then the gang answers a few listener questions after which we learn exactly how brilliant Desi Arnez really was. Check out Bill Chott at www.theimprovtrick.com Please visit www.classicshaving.com and use promo code "BRIANH" to receive 10% off your purchase. Please consider supporting TBHS with a small donation over at www.brianhowardcomedy.com Go LIKE The Brian Howard Show at www.facebook.com/TheBrianHowardShow Show music provided by Beulah And The Beat www.beulahandthebeat.com

Aye Jaye Brian opens the show with a question about chivalry at an ATM with Linda, Maria and special guest carny legend Aye Jaye chiming in. Then Aye Jaye shares his amazing, wonderful and sometimes bizarre story being born into the circus world from being a prop in his parents act to getting out of a French jail with a cigarette. Then moving on to the world of the carnival Aye Jaye tells about the true nature of carny games and what is a B-Girl. After the last break the gang talks about the dedication of making people laugh. Then we learn how to make your way in the world selling lizards. Next find out a little about the world of the ten-in-one and why it's show business. Finally, we learn the origins of Ronald McDonald and the finer points of schmoozing. Find Aye Jaye online at www.ayejaye.com Buy his book "The Golden Rule Of Schmoozing". Hey you could use the Amazon button on the website for that! Please visit www.classicshaving.com and use promo code "BRIANH" to receive 10% off your purchase. Please consider supporting TBHS with a small donation over at www.brianhowardcomedy.com Go LIKE The Brian Howard Show at facebook.com/TheBrianHowardShow Show music provided by Beulah And The Beat www.beulahandthebeat.com

Kristen Herbert Brian and Jenny welcome Kristen Herbert to the show and we quickly learn what a penguin in heat sounds like. Brian tries to understand women and their sense of humor and how it relates to German men. Then Dave Cox stops by the show late after his car breaks down and we discover that Brian may have had inappropriate moments with an art teacher as a child. The gang shares their brushes with celebrity, including Charlton Heston's run in with Dave. Then we get to hear a great song by Kristen. Then Brian has discovered one of the most miserable experiences in the world, peddle boats but is then topped by Jenny's suggestion, and clowns with sound effects by Dave. Jenny then takes us down the creepy dark cave of cannibalism and everybody looses their appetite. See Brian this weekend 6/9-10/2012 at the Valhalla Renaissance Faire www.valhallafaire.com Visit Kristen Herbert at www.kristenherbert.com Please visit www.classicshaving.com and use promo code "BRIANH" to receive 10% off your purchase. Please consider supporting TBHS with a small donation over at www.brianhowardcomedy.com Go LIKE The Brian Howard Show at facebook.com/TheBrianHowardShow Show music provided by Beulah And The Beat www.beulahandthebeat.com

Brian, Jack and Jenny sit down for a fun show that starts with the origins of dystopian movies and the birth of goth. Jack eats chips with a numb face and Brian remembers twenty minutes of shots for thirty seconds of teeth pulling. Jenny then learns the best way to stop an unwanted advance. Maria joins the gang in the second act to tell the epic tale of "Maria, Of The Tonight Show" and Brian comes dangerously close to getting smacked when he tries to find a teachable moment. Later, Jenny reinforces her title as Un-Killable by remembering her recent bout with heat stroke. Brian and Jack invent cleavage bread. And Jenny learns how to vomit in a corset. Please visit www.classicshaving.com and use promo code "BRIANH" to receive 10% off your purchase. Please consider supporting TBHS with a small donation over at www.brianhowardcomedy.com Go LIKE The Brian Howard Show at www.facebook.com/TheBrianHowardShow Visit Jack at www.jackdagger.com Show music provided by Beulah And The Beat www.beulahandthebeat.com

Bryan Adams In A Shock Collar The show opens with the "Case Of The Stolen Garden Hose" a rousing tale of treachery and disfunction set in NE LA. Then Brian settles the score with his arch nemesis Bryan Howard by way of the closing credits of Robin Hood: Prince Of Thieves. Afterwards Jack wears the dog shock collar and takes it to level three and according to Jenny Lynn "It's magical". Then Jack tells of a recent creepy fan interaction and learns how to prevent it next time thanks to Brian's cautionary tale about his own freaky fan interaction. Linda shares a news story about men and their obsession with royal underwear. Then Brian wears the collar...and it's magical. Then after Brian sums up his dog collar experience the gang talks about pain and wether or not seeing someone give you a shot makes it hurt worse than looking the other way. Then we answer a few listener questions about facial hair and Jack tells the story of kissing a man. Please visit www.classicshaving.com and use promo code "BRIANH" to receive 10% off your purchase. Please consider supporting TBHS with a small donation over at www.brianhowardcomedy.com Go LIKE The Brian Howard Show at www.facebook.com/TheBrianHowardShow Visit Linda at www.lindawasserman.com Visit Jack at www.jackdagger.com Show music provided by Beulah And The Beat www.beulahandthebeat.com

The Wives: The Musical Brian begins the show by relating the story of how he landed the gig as host of The Brian Howard Show. Also Brian's birthday was last week and he kept it a secret. But that doesn't really matter since they quickly segue into a conversation about slapping "The Musical" after just about everything. Then, do you think you know which city consumes the most smut? Guess again. Moving on the guys welcome Maria Howard and Linda Wasserman into the studio to offer insights on all things "wifey" including Mayan porn. Then Mila Kunis "saves" a life, only not really and Maria never got a lollipop from a bank teller. Next, Brian learns that he has been misunderstanding breast measurements his entire life. Then we talk about a crazy preacher who is living in the wrong century and we get to hear an episode of "Dicker and Coffee". Linda talks about her problem with magic pants we read some listener limericks then Cowen quizzes everybody on their knowledge of "The Avengers". Intro and Exit music by Beulah And The Beat www.beulahandthebeat.com Visit Brian online at www.brianhowardcomedy.com

The Golden Hymen Brian and Jenny start things off discussing the subtleties of Mississippi art studios and that of course leads to cat people. Then Brian shares another addition to Brian's major literary work "How To Be Right All The Time" (hint: it involves being smart). Then Jenny explains why it's important to run from danger. Act two starts with Jenny explaining her running sound track that plays in her head. Then she goes into detail, wonderfully creepy detail, about her recent experience at the New York City Morgue including what exactly human skins feels like when you sew it. Then Brian and Jenny read some of the days news and they all involve lady parts. And Brian gives a plug to the best buffet in Pasadena. Finally they answer some listener questions and Brian helps Jenny with her upcoming dead person test. Check out Crannog at www.crannogmusic.com Intro and Exit music by Beulah And The Beat www.beulahandthebeat.com Visit Brian online at www.brianhowardcomedy.com

Dave Baker The show opens with Brian complaining about a mysterious smell in the house and Jack and Brian have a disagreement about the word hassock/ottoman. Brian talks about getting his daughter ready for school and how men and women find things differently. Then we meet weapon maker Dave Baker and learn the most stupid myths about swords. Later Dave tells about his early days as a dancer and how it led to making swords and the resulting macho factor. Then Twinkies and Unions, do they mix? And Star Trek as a learning tool. After that the gang checks items off a sexual bucket list which leads to Jack admitting that he once went to an emo-vampire party. Then after Maria has to leave the show early the guys all become women. Please support the show over at: www.brianhowardcomedy.com/Brian_Howard/Podcast/Podcast.html Check out Dave's creations at: www.hollywoodcombatcenter.com Visit Jack online at: www.jackdagger.com Visit Brian at: www.brianhowardcomedy.com

The London Broil Brian opens the show complementing Jack on his recent weight loss and of course talks about snorting ants. Then Brian gets a noise complaint about his dog. Then Brian welcomes Duncan Pace and Louie Skaradek from the comedy group The London Broil. Later Jack tells everybody what Jenny's up to this week (hint: it involves dead people). Then Brian reads the news and we figure out how many people have to stay in a band in order for it to be the same band and how to have an awkward moment with your pillow. Then the gang plays a round of Porn or Movie. Finally, Jack tells of the worlds fastest criminal in order to inspire others to greatness. Then listener questions are answered and all is made right with the world. See Brian, Jack and The London Broil at the Renaissance Pleasure Fair this weekend April 14 & 15. Visit The London Broil at www.thelondonbroilshow.com Find Jack Dagger at www.jackdagger.com Visit Brian at www.brianhowardcomedy.com