WifeSavers Podcast show

WifeSavers Podcast

Summary: Ramona Zabriskie, multi award-winning author, celebrated marriage mentor and global educator, founder of Wife for Life University and the WifeSavers Education Membership, answers real wife questions alongside her husband of 41 years, Dale Zabriskie. Their entertaining conversations about the challenges and intricacies of the marriage relationship are full of actual experience and powerful, proven advice. Thousands of wives in over 70 countries are learning how to better resolve their worries and more lovingly relate to their husbands with thrilling results. Email the show at wifesavers.org

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Podcasts:

 Ep 31: The Best of the WifeSavers Podcast: Romance and Desire That Last | File Type: audio/mpeg | Duration: 3043

Feeling desired, even “wooed”, is the romantic high that that poetry, film, literature, and music have prepped us for all our lives, right? But how realistic is it to expect all the passion, mystery, and excitement to continue throughout a long lifetime together? Is it possible to create romance-on-demand at any age or any stage? In this episode of the WifeSavers Podcast, "The Best Of the WifeSavers Podcast: Romance and Desire That Last", multi-award-winning marriage author and educator, Ramona Zabriskie, and her husband of 40+ years, Dale, answer a wife who is longing for days past when she felt that her husband was attentive and amorous, drawn and devoted to her. Throw Me a WifeSaver: “My husband was INCREDIBLE with me for so long...he was doting on me, loving on me, encouraging me. Now I don't feel that way, and I don't know how to fix it. What can I do? How do I bring romance back into my marriage?” Listen and learn loving strategies that are more doable than cynics might think and more down-to-earth than romantics might expect! Why “romance” is important to women Our two great needs at odds in the quest for romance How today’s expectations of marriage differ from the past The definition of love vs. desire and why we want both 3 dynamics that make us desire, or feel drawn toward, our spouse 6 challenges that will bust complacency and cultivate excitement "I love listening to the dynamic between Ramona and Dale and hope that my husband and I will be like them in 30 years!" ✭✭✭✭✭ ITunes/Apple listener (We’d so appreciate your review on Apple/iTunes or your favorite podcast platform!)

 Ep 30: Leaving Him in Charge of the House and Kids | File Type: audio/mpeg | Duration: 2543

When work or fun pulls you away from home, do you worry about what you will happen with the house and family in your absence? Especially when your guy is left in charge? Do you get the feeling that your expectations are higher than his when it comes to childcare, housework, and generally filling your shoes? You’re probably hoping the kids get some quality time with Dad, but you also want everything to operate as usual and on schedule. How can you balance your concerns with respecting his prerogative to do things differently? In this episode of the WifeSavers Podcast, “Leaving Your Husband in Charge of the House and Kids”, multi-award-winning marriage author and educator, Ramona Zabriskie, and her husband of 40+ years, Dale, answer a wife who is worried about how things at home are going to run (and turn out!) while she’s away. THROW ME A WIFESAVER: “I have to go far away from home for a conference this weekend, which means my husband and kids will have to fend for themselves. Should I be worried?” Listen and learn fun, helpful strategies that will set your husband and kids up for success so everyone (including you!) can enjoy your time away. Key Points in this podcast: Why you’re concerned and the impact of your fears How to respectfully recruit his full engagement Two questions to ask yourself that will set up the optimal outcome The three pillars that will help you prepare, organize, and prioritize How you will know the experience was a success for everyone so you feel free to do it again! “This podcast is a secret treasure in the podcast world! So full of valuable information and real-life application. ✭✭✭✭✭” Apple Podcast listener Related episodes: Ep 27: Getting Him on Board With Best Parenting Practices Ep 1: Helping Your Husband Bond With the Kids Ep 19: Wars Over Chores: Recruiting His Help with the Housework

 Ep 29: Creating (or Saving!) Your Family Vacation | File Type: audio/mpeg | Duration: 2233

Are your carefully laid vacation plans falling short of expectations? After hours of research, deal shopping, and blog hopping are your getaway dreams turning into a family-fueled nightmare? How can you facilitate magical memories while keeping spirits high, bellies full, and sanity spared? What should you do when kids are bickering, Honey is snippy, and you are losing patience for your vacation before you even leave the house? Learning to shift your goals and gain a new perspective on the purpose of family getaways can turn inevitable travel trials into treasured memories.   In this episode of the WifeSavers Podcast, “Creating (or Saving!) Your Family Vacation”, multi-award winning marriage author and educator, Ramona Zabriskie, and her husband of 40+ years, Dale, share tried and true approaches for keeping your cool on a family getaway.  THROW ME A WIFESAVER: “We took a trip this weekend as a family. Despite all my daily efforts leading up to the trip, there were moments when the kids were fighting, husband was frustrated and harsh and I was anxious as all get out!! How does this happen? Who flipped the switch?!! Is vacation really that disruptive to family life or is it just me? Please help me understand how to keep my WifeSavers foundation when we go on a family vacation!!” Listen and learn why your focus for family travel may need to shift, how to get and keep everyone on the same team, and how to accomplish your goal of treasured family time with a family that loves one another better by the time you’re home again.  Key Points in this podcast: How to shift your focus from pure logistics What to use as a guide and measuring stick for success The way to manage disruption, stress, or chaos in the moment Easy strategy for keeping yourself proactive and positive How to keep relationships on the front burner Specific approach to reflecting and re-setting each day “What a husband and wife conversation should sound like. ✭✭✭✭✭” Apple Podcast listener Related episodes: Ep 27: Getting Him on Board With Best Parenting Practices Ep 14: Dealing with Extended Family Ep 10: How Do I Find Balance? A Woman’s Greatest Challenge Ep 7: Feeling Burnt Out After Too Much Stress Ep 1: Helping Your Husband Bond With the Kids

 EP 28: When He’s Overwhelmed by Family Life | File Type: audio/mpeg | Duration: 3424

What do you do when your husband is too often grouchy or down at home? Is family life falling short of his expectations, or is he falling short of your expectations? Either way, it's challenging to your marriage, and to his relationship with the children. You want to share the joys of marriage with him but how can you be positive enough for both of you? How can you see things from his perspective when his struggle stokes your own worries? In this episode of the WifeSavers Podcast, “When Family Life Overwhelms Him”, multi-award winning marriage author and educator, Ramona Zabriskie, and her husband of 40+ years, Dale, answer a wife who is tired of trying to cope with her husband’s negativity within the family.   THROW ME A WIFESAVER: “My husband has been struggling off & on with depression and anxiety. He is angry much of the time and struggles to cope with our kids as they overwhelm him. I find it exhausting to be constantly challenging the story he tells himself. This just makes parenting more difficult and it makes marriage hard for me. I would love any advice you might have!” Listen and learn why your husband may be feeling anxious and depressed, why this naturally affects family life, and how to help him regain a sense of control, balance, and energy. Key Points in this podcast: Your dissimilar approaches to managing pain/emotion How parenthood may be affecting him  Possible causes for your anxiety over his anxiety 5 ubiquitous male drives that underpin male fears 4 “male masks” used to hide or postpone experiencing emotion 5 common “male” fears that are stirred up by family life Strategy for helping him regain a sense of balance, control, and energy “I love listening to both Ramona and Dale interact and laugh with each other - it just makes me happy! Their podcasts model respectful and joyful interactions in marriage and reminds me to laugh more often, especially with my husband. ✭✭✭✭✭” Apple Podcast listener Related episodes: Ep 27: Getting Him on Board With Best Parenting Practices Ep 22: Finding and Pursuing His Quest Ep 16: His Criticism Hurts: What to do When Your Husband is Unkind or Unfair Ep 1: Helping Your Husband Bond With the Kids

 Ep 27: Getting Him on Board With Best Parenting Practices | File Type: audio/mpeg | Duration: 3286

What do you do when your husband is counteracting your parenting style or you’re counteracting his? Especially in the heat of the moment? And how do you get him interested and enthused about your latest and greatest approaches to teaching or disciplining the kids? You want to be able to trust him as a father, but how can you when the two of you are not on the same page? Working as a parenting-team is critical to not only the kids’ upbringing but to the success of your marriage.   In this episode of the WifeSavers Podcast, “Getting Him On Board With Best Parenting Practices”, multi-award winning marriage author and educator, Ramona Zabriskie, and her husband of 40+ years, Dale, answer a wife who is struggling to convince her husband that there’s a better way to parent their child.   THROW ME A WIFESAVER: “I've started employing a new parenting method which is in contrast to my husband's and I see my child responding beautifully to it. However, it'll take time for her meltdowns to reduce significantly. What should I do to get my husband to employ these positive parenting principles?”  Listen and learn how to help your husband (and yourself!) feel more open-minded about different parenting styles and how to help him actually engage with you in an approach to parenting you can both feel good about.  Key Points in this podcast:  - Why raising the kids in a unified style is important to her  - Possible causes for his apathy or antipathy to her approach or suggestions  - The problems that are caused when you disagree about parenting  - Seven common differences between mother/father approaches   - Four critical things to avoid when you’re recruiting his interest and involvement   - Four key things to do that will help inspire his enthusiasm and willingness  “Ramona and Dale’s adorable witty banter back and forth puts a smile on my face! I love their positivity and vulnerability. They give amazing tips from both sides of a relationship and I’m loving applying their tips to my marriage! ✭✭✭✭✭” Apple Podcast listener  Related episodes:  Ep 25: He Doesn’t Really Listen: How to Communicate So He’ll Care  Ep 16: Seeing Eye to Eye: What To Do When You Don’t  Ep 1: Helping Your Husband Bond With the Kids

 Ep 26: When He’s Traveling For Business | File Type: audio/mpeg | Duration: 3550

Are you dreading or resenting your spouse’s next business trip because it’ll be up to you to hold down the fort? Without a partner’s on-the-ground practical and emotional support, personal and family life can become overwhelming. Logistical complications as well as emotional and physical stresses take a toll on both husband and wife. You’d really just like to be together and get (or give!) help, reassurance, and hugs when they are needed most.  In this episode of the WifeSavers Podcast, “When He’s Traveling For Business”, multi-award winning marriage author and educator, Ramona Zabriskie and her traveling husband, Dale, answer a wife who is seriously worried about her spouse’s obligation to be away from home for work.  THROW ME A WIFESAVER: “My husband is preparing to be several states away from home for two-week intervals (home for two, away for two) for the next 36 weeks. I’m not at all looking forward to this. When he talks about it I feel ‘walls’ blocking my thoughts, and all I know is how I feel about it.” Listen and learn how to manage your road warrior’s absence in a way that will tone down the stress, spare your heart, and bring out the best in your relationship. Key Points in this podcast: - Appreciating your unique stresses while he’s away  - Recognizing the pressures on him - How to set up “safety nets” to protect you both - Ways to involve him in family life despite his absence - Strategies for keeping your relationship vibrant and relevant - Strengthening your healthy independence - How to make the most of your reunions - The costs, benefits, and strategies of traveling together when possible "I have really loved this podcast. The advice is top-notch but the best part is the humor and discussion back and forth between Ramona and Dale. I feel like they are the encouraging- parents and good example we all wish we had! ✭✭✭✭✭” Apple Podcasts listener Related episodes: - Episode 21: Romance and Desire That Last - Episode 18: To Transform Your Marriage in 2019, Focus on This - Episode 10: How Do I Find Balance? A Woman’s Greatest Challenge - Episode 8: Do You Believe in Him? How To Show Him and Why You Want To  

 Ep 25: He Doesn’t Listen: How to Communicate So He’ll Care | File Type: audio/mpeg | Duration: 2894

Everyone knows that a successful marriage depends in large part on how well a couple communicates with each other. What should be natural, easy conversation can become discouraging or frustrating though when a wife feels that her husband isn’t really paying attention to what she has to say. If this becomes a pattern of interrelating, she may assume the worst about him and the relationship.   In this episode of the WifeSavers Podcast, “He Doesn’t Listen”, multi-award winning marriage author and educator, Ramona Zabriskie and her husband, Dale, answer a wife who is frustrated with her husband’s lack of engagement when she’s trying to talk with him.   THROW ME A WIFESAVER: “I would say one of the biggest struggles we have is communication. Sometimes I feel like it’s difficult for us to talk about the simplest things. It gets very tiresome to me because I don’t even feel like I can make a suggestion or offer my opinion because, he doesn’t really listen. Or he starts to listen and then after a while he’ll check out or tune out. I’m definitely looking for better communication skills.” Listen and learn the potential real reasons behind a husband’s distant demeanor, and how to improve your communication style so that he’s more likely to listen up! Key Points in this podcast: - The difference between casual and active listening - Her POV: Five possible reasons you may think he’s not listening - His POV: Eight explanations that are closer to the truth of it - How your expectations and his attempts to listen get out of alignment - Six strategies for optimizing his willingness to listen and engage - How his listening skills can improve and mature as yours do Related episodes: - Episode 18: To Transform Your Marriage in 2019: Focus on This - Episode 16: Seeing Eye to Eye: What To Do When You Don’t - Episode 11: Turning Negative Communication With Your Husband to the Positive "Great ideas you can easily implement. It’s a fun listen too! ✭✭✭✭✭” Apple Podcasts listener

 Ep 24: Tech and Relationships Part 2: Husband and Kids | File Type: audio/mpeg | Duration: 3165

The fun and functionality of our screens are creating a seamless interaction between us (the users) and the greater world. There’s a lot of good in that. But there’s also a lot to be aware of and concerned about. Are you or your husband and children becoming hyper-stimulated by virtual activity and in the process, becoming desensitized to one another? When parents and kids, husbands and wives, choose to immerse themselves in their devices instead of in one another, they’re experiencing what is aptly called “the great divide”.In the conclusion to this two-part series, multi-award winning marriage author and educator, Ramona Zabriskie and her husband, Dale, complete their answer to a wife who is feeling increasingly estranged and neglected by a husband absorbed in his mobile devices and gaming. THROW ME A WIFESAVER: How do the kids and I become more interesting than his cell phone? And what to do about hubby's video gaming in the evening downstairs when I want to spend time with him (especially a war game)? Listen and learn how to get your spouse and kids to work together to create, and then support, a family tech and media plan. Key Points in this podcast: How a couple and a family can collaborate on solutions Eight questions that will get the family thinking and talking Five sample family media standards Six sample family technology standards Tactical musts to support personal and family cybersecurity Tactical options to help protect your relationships and maintain the family plan Five steps to proactively counter the negative aspects of today’s domineering media and online culture Related episodes:  Episode 23: Tech and Relationships Part 1: You Episode 18: To Transform Your Marriage in 2019: Focus on This Episode 16: Seeing Eye to Eye: What To Do When You Don’t "Ramona and Dale’s WifeSavers podcasts are so delightful, humorous, and full of golden information! ✭✭✭✭✭” Apple Podcasts listener

 Ep 23: Tech and Relationships Part 1: You | File Type: audio/mpeg | Duration: 3232

How has technology impacted your most important relationships? With all our compulsive “connecting”, many of us are actually “disconnecting” from the loved ones that are present, the ones who are depending on us in so many ways to “be there” for them. How do we embrace technology without losing ourselves or our closest relationships in the matrix? Multi-award winning marriage author and educator, Ramona Zabriskie and her husband, Dale, answer a wife who is feeling increasingly estranged and neglected by a husband absorbed in his mobile devices and gaming. THROW ME A WIFESAVER: How do the kids and I become more interesting than his cell phone? And what to do about hubby's video gaming in the evening downstairs when I want to spend time with him (especially a war game)? Listen and learn how a wife and mother can help manage and prioritize the health and well-being of herself, her marriage, and her family in a hyperconnected, tech-mediated world. Part one of a two-part series. . Key Points in this podcast: - The “threats” posed to families by the overuse or misuse of technology - Eight technology-induced addictions - Six questions to help determine if there is an addiction at play - Four uses of technology to evaluate your own dependence by - Recognizing and avoiding technological narcissism - The science behind our digital impulsiveness - A simple way to determine whether to engage with tech or the people present in any given moment Related episodes:  Episode 18: To Transform Your Marriage in 2019: Focus on This Episode 16: Seeing Eye to Eye: What To Do When You Don’t "Full of experiences and wonderful advice that inspires me to become a better wife, which in return makes him a better husband. ✭✭✭✭✭” Apple Podcasts listener

 Ep 22: Finding and Pursuing His Quest | File Type: audio/mpeg | Duration: 3003

Most men, once married, know they need to fill their pockets with more than love; they need to do something; to be somebody. He may be so focused and driven that he leaves the family in the dust. On the other hand, his career path may be more of a meandering stroll than a focused climb. Maybe he's too discouraged or too comfortable with the status quo? Or does it seem that one-too-many opportunities have passed him by? Multi-award winning marriage author and educator, Ramona Zabriskie and her husband, Dale, explain how most men view their “work” or their quest for “a work” in a way that answers a wife who is baffled and even frightened by her husband’s direction in life.  Throw Me a WifeSaver: “I don’t know what my husband’s quest is because I don’t think he knows, either. That’s a HUGE frustration in our marriage and it’s becoming a big problem. Any advice?” Listen and learn how a worthy “quest” is defined for a man: a fulfilling dream, a rewarding pursuit that will help him mature into his best, most courageous, most loving self for the sake of the whole family. Key Points: - How a man’s work is related to his identity and self-respect - Myths about achievement and career development - The weighty considerations in a man’s mind regarding his work choice - How to be a help in the process without creating stress - The definition of a “quest” - The single most important consideration in settling on a direction - The four attributes of a worthy and effective “quest” Related episodes: Episode 8: Do You Believe in Him? How to Show Him and Why You Want To Episode 9: How to Help Your Man When He’s Unsatisfied at Work "These podcasts are life-changing! Absolutely love them. So inspiring! ✭✭✭✭✭” 

 Ep 21: Romance and Desire That Last | File Type: audio/mpeg | Duration: 2971

Feeling desired, even “wooed”, is the romantic high that that poetry, film, literature, and music have prepped women for all their lives. But how realistic is it to expect the passion, mystery, and excitement to continue throughout a lifelong marriage? Is it possible to create on-demand at any age or any stage?  Multi-award winning marriage author and educator, Ramona Zabriskie and her husband, Dale, answer a wife who is longing for days past when she felt that her husband was more drawn and devoted to her.  Throw Me a WifeSaver: “My husband was INCREDIBLE with me for so long...he was doting on me, loving on me, encouraging me. Now I don't feel that way, and I don't know how to fix it. What can I do? How do I bring romance back into my marriage?” Listen and learn how to re-ignite and sustain the amorous fun and fascination you used to feel in your relationship! The answers are more doable than cynics might think and more down-to-earth than romantics might expect! Key Points: - Why “romance” is important to women - Our two great needs at odds in the quest for romance - How today’s expectations of marriage differ from the past - The definition of love vs. desire and why we want both - 3 dynamics that make us desire, or feel drawn toward, our spouse - 6 challenges that will bust complacency and cultivate excitement
 "I love listening to the dynamic between Ramona and Dale and hope that my husband and I will be like them in 30 years!" ✭✭✭✭✭ iTunes/Apple listener

 Ep 20: It's Not Fair! (but who's keeping score?) | File Type: audio/mpeg | Duration: 2657

Life often feels unfair, especially at home, where every member of the family absolutely depends on every other member doing their part. When a husband or wife, in particular, is lacking or slacking, the other spouse can feel undue pressure. The result is frustration, overwhelm, and resentment. Multi-award winning marriage author and educator, Ramona Zabriskie and her husband, Dale, answer a wife who is exasperated with her husband for not carrying his fair share of family life.  Throw Me a WifeSaver: “I'm having a hard time changing my thinking to be super appreciative of my husband's (lack of) help around the house and kids...He is a good man but boy did he get lucky with me. I do SO MUCH that it's downright not fair. Do you have a mantra for me as I work through this?” Listen and learn how to relieve the pressure on yourself and your marriage by incorporating a whole new approach to “fairness” in family life. Key Points: - Why “fairness” feels so important to us - How a “matcher mentality” affects personal relationships - 3 different ways to look at “fairness” in family life - How to evaluate the effectiveness of your personal approach and philosophy - 3 key skills or attitudes needed to achieve optimal “fairness” - Examples of how to work together more effectively as a couple and family

 Ep 19: Wars Over Chores: Recruiting His Help With the Housework | File Type: audio/mpeg | Duration: 2398

 Who does the bulk of the housework in your house? Maintaining a home and managing a family is a big job optimally shared by all family members, including husband and wife. But what if your kids or husband don’t see it that way? How do you motivate them to help out, and to do it willingly and well?  In this episode, multi-award-winning author and global marriage educator, Ramona Zabriskie and her husband, Dale, answer a wife who is feeling exasperated in her attempts to get her husband and sons more involved in the everyday care and operations of the house. Throw Me a WifeSaver: “No matter my approach, I wake up most days wondering how and when I opened a bed and breakfast. While I truly and deeply love them and sincerely seek out ways to serve and honor my husband and family, I also need them to be contributing members. Any attempts I have tried to discuss this with my husband has failed miserably. How do I encourage my husband to contribute? How do I serve my husband and boys joyfully without creating the illusion that they are not expected to do their part in the family?”  Listen and learn how you can most effectively persuade your children to do their chores and your spouse to take on more responsibility in the home. Key Topics:  - How you may be micromanaging and how it affects the family - How spouses might perceive “home” differently - The attitude that will change the environment in your home - A specific approach to helping your kids “own” their chores and want to improve at them - What your husband wants and needs from you regarding his help  - “The Language of Respect”: a highly effective strategy for recruiting your husband’s help in a way that he will appreciate and be motivated by 

 Ep 18: To Transform Your Marriage in 2019, Focus on This | File Type: audio/mpeg | Duration: 2271

  Looking for a New Years resolution that will improve your relationship? How about one that won’t bog down your “to-do” list; one that’s so simple, it’ll take only a few seconds here and there. That’s right, no matter what state your marriage is in, this concise, uncomplicated approach will not only immediately impact your feelings toward each other, but will also have major long-term repercussions for the positive. In this episode, multi-award-winning author and global marriage educator, Ramona Zabriskie and her husband, Dale, answer a wife who, in her quest to improve her marriage, is curious to know where best to focus her limited time and energy. Throw Me a WifeSaver: “What are some examples of things we can do with my time to improve my relationship with my husband? Would you recommend it be time spent with him or is time spend doing acts of service for him?” Listen and learn what wives and husbands should focus most on if they want their relationship to thrive for a lifetime. Key Topics: - The magic in marriage researcher’s John Gottman’s “5 Magic Hours” - Simple daily and weekly rituals used by couples in thriving marriages - Why minor instantaneous interactions are so consequential -The scientifically proven #1 most effective thing you can do for your r relationship - Real examples of how to apply that approach - A 3-second 3-question way to decide whether or not to use your smartphone in a given moment when you’re with your spouse  - How your marriage can actually increase your time and energy Free ebook: 5 Lies We Tell Brides and 5 Truths That Save Wives Learn more about the WifeSavers Education Membership

 Ep 17: Forgiveness in Marriage | File Type: audio/mpeg | Duration: 3346

Feeling frustrated and disappointed in your husband? Are his mistakes and shortcomings piling up? Or are you feeling bad about your own choices and behaviors? Everyone knows that saying or hearing “I’m sorry” can help, but actually extending or requesting real and lasting forgiveness is often the greatest challenge in marriage. In this episode, multi-award-winning author and global marriage educator, Ramona Zabriskie and her husband, Dale, talk about how to get through or past ordinary or common offenses that have caused pain in your marriage. Throw Me a WifeSaver: “Can you talk more about forgiveness?” Listen and glean new insights into how forgiveness actually works and why it is worth the effort. Key Topics: - The signs and the downfalls of victimization - The “advantages” to feeling “put upon” - How focusing on vindication affects other relationships - The psychological, physiological impact of victimization - The 5 steps to replacing “put upon” with “powerful” - What “everyday forgiveness” encompasses - The  4 things forgiveness is not - How the “how” of forgiveness is in the “why” - The 3 popular “why’s” that don’t work and the only “why” that does - A powerful statement to use that expresses forgiveness precisely - The 3 steps or stages in restoring the relationship - The only truly effective way to request forgiveness - How forgiveness is possible and worth it

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