The Couples Therapist Couch

In this episode, Jasmine Foulkes talks about her journey in becoming a therapist and what has been helpful for her in her work with couples. She has a talent for connecting with couples and uses emotionally focused therapy as the primary model that she works from.

When working with clients in therapy I often wonder if someone might be displaying aspects of narcissism. I often question myself and my reality. It is important to realize that partner of people with narcissism feel this way all the time. Wendy Behary is a leader in working with people with narcissism. She wrote the book Disarming the Narcissist: Surviving and Thriving with the Self-Absorbed.

For many people, one of the most difficult times in their life can be going through a breakup or divorce or experiencing some other brokenness in their relationship. Because we are wired to connect as humans, going through this heartbreak can feel like a significant trauma. It is important to have the tools, support and resources to go through this type of experience. Chautè Thompson talks all about how to recover from these types of situations in the episode today.

So often, the individuals and couples we see in therapy feel alone in their experiences. As therapists, art of what we can to for them, is make them accepted and normal. We can help them to feel like they don't have to be so alone in whatever it is they are experiencing. Even in our own experience as therapists we often feel alone and think to ourselves, "am I the only one?" Lori Gottlieb reveals all in her column as well as her new book, Maybe You Should Talk to Someone.

We have had a few episodes about emotionally focused therapy (EFT) lately and for good reason. EFT is one of the most well respected and widely used models of couples therapy. This conversation focuses specifically on how couples heal if there has been an affair or other attachment injury. Leanne Campbell and David Fairweather go into detail about the use of EFT to heal attachment injuries from trauma.

After years of studying couples, neuroscience, and attachment, Dr. Stan Tatkin knows what is necessary for a deep, enduring relationship. In this episode we talk all about those factors and also where couples get off track.  Stan is the founder of the PACT institute which stands for the Psychobiological Approach to Couples Therapy.

It is becoming more and more evident over time that incorporating aspects of trauma work into couples therapy is incredibly beneficial. Using Emotionally Focused Therapy (one of the leading couples therapy models) is a great way to be able to work with how the trauma is coming up in the present relationship. Kathryn Rheem is a certified EFT therapist and teacher of the model. She has worked closely with Sue Johnson for over ten years and does lots of training for therapists learning EFT.

Couples retreats and intensives are getting more and more popular and for good reason. It is a very good way of making a lot of progress in a short amount of time.  In this episode, Rachel Zamore and I talk all about retreats. We cover the difference between an educational couples experience with a group of couples vs. a private couples retreat vs. an intensive. We also talk about the various options like discernment retreats, affair repair retreats and repair and renewal retreats.

When working with couples in therapy, it can be easy to get lost in their story and stay focused on the content of what they are talking about. This often feels like a tennis match, watching the ball go back and forth. In the interview this week with Rob Fisher, he talks about how to use experiential techniques in order to help couples slow down, be more present, and tune into what is going on inside them. 

In this episode Shane interview Lisa Ferentz, who is an expert on trauma and has trained and educated hundreds of therapists on how to work with trauma. She talks about how necessary coping strategies evolve in childhood in response to not having a secure attachment and how these strategies impact adult relationships.

Bringing two families together can be one of the most difficult things for couples to deal with. Whether both partners have children, or one partner has children and the other doesn't, it is a very challenging situation. Most people go into these situations without any education or experience in knowing how to handle it. They often come to us as the Therapist looking for guidance and skills they can use to improve their situation. Enter step-parenting expert, Karen Bonnell.

Using psychodrama in therapy has the capability to help people unlock neural pathways in ways that they wouldn't otherwise be able to with typical talk therapy. This episode explores that process as well as goes through several examples of how to use psychodrama with couples. Walter Logeman is a therapist in Christchurch, New Zealand who specializes in working with couples. He is a supervisor, trainer, and qualified Imago therapist.

In this episode of The Couples Therapist Couch, Hedy Schleifer and Shane go deeper into the ideas created by Hedy in her method of working with couples called Encounter-Centered Couples Therapy. She talks about visiting each other's neighborhoods and unraveling the survival knot. The way that Hedy works with couples is deep and transformative and leads them into much greater intimacy with one another.

Dr. Bill Doherty along with his daughter, Elizabeth Doherty Thomas, started the Doherty Relationship Institute. He has written 15 books and regularly teaches and trains therapists and couples. He has served as President of the National Council on Family Relations and received the Lifetime Achievement Award from the American Family Therapy Association. He is also the founder of Discernment Counseling for couples on the brink of divorce.

In this episode with the amazing Couples and Sex Therapist, Dr. Tammy Nelson, we talk about the importance of therapists being comfortable with talking about sex. We talk about how much people's sex lives (whether they have much of one or not) is a huge part of how we define ourselves. Tammy also talks about how to recover from infidelity from a sex therapist standpoint.