The Couples Therapist Couch

We often have clients who are shut down emotionally and don't understand why. It is difficult for them to access their emotions. Most of the time this is due to living in a family where emotional expression either wasn't modeled or encouraged, or  where it was actively shut down. This emotional neglect is abusive and shaming to children, but most people think that it was just "normal" which can be part of what makes it so difficult to work with.

In talking about factors that destroy relationships, Dr. Pat Love speaks with such depth and wisdom about all the things that are required to have a secure, healthy relationship. She talks about emotional security, attachment, systems theory, the relational set up, being flexible and spontaneous and so much more that we often take for granted in our relationships. Dr. Pat Love is known for her warmth, humor, and practical, research-based wisdom.

Why do we love in the first place? Why do we choose the partners we choose? What happens in the brain when people fall in love? These are all questions that Helen Fisher has spent her career answering. 

When looking at sexual betrayal, many people in our society simplify it down to the fact that the betrayer is bad, wrong, and should be cut off. This leaves out the opportunity of a much more complex way of viewing these situations. In this conversation with Dr. Alexandra Katehakis we talk all about healthy sex, sex addiction, love addiction, and how to work with couples facing these issues. 

How do unfaithful partners typically respond differently than hurt partners after an affair? What constitutes an affair - intercourse? Instant messaging? Flirting? These are just a few of the many questions that leave couples feeling confused about what to do after there has been an affair. Janis Abrahms Spring, PhD has beautifully answered these questions in her book, After the Affair: Healing the Pain and Rebuilding Trust When a Partner Has Been Unfaithful.

This special episode is part of a 6 video business bonus that you can get for signing up for the Couples Therapist Inner Circle.  In this episode, Laura Long talks about marketing, niching, websites, and networking. She discusses the importance of thinking about what makes Couples Therapists different and encourages us to think about how we will appear to potential clients. 

In this episode, Kine Corder talks about removing blocks to success, particularly stress. We talk all about money, marriage and maturing.  Kine Corder helps people who have achieved success by society's standards, but still feel that they are missing something. She has a podcast called the Love and Money podcast, is a best selling author, psychotherapist, and international speaker. Find out more about Kine at kinecorder.com

In this episode, Dr. Sue Johnson talks about the beginnings of Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy and the lack of options for Couples Therapists to get training at the time.  Dr. Sue Johnson is an author, clinical psychologist, researcher, professor, popular presenter and speaker and a leading innovator in the field of couple therapy and adult attachment.

This episode is packed full with advice for how to do good couples therapy. Some of the topics covered are the 6 types of confrontation, rethinking 1st sessions, and how to incorporate attachment theory, differentiation, and neuroscience.  Dr. Ellyn Bader is the co-founder of the Developmental Model for Couples Therapy. She and Dr. Peter Pearson co-wrote the book, In Quest of the Mythical Mate. They are pioneers in the field of couples therapy.

Talking about the similarities and differences of two different models of Couples Therapy

One of the things we hear most frequently in our office as Couples Therapists is partners with differing levels of sexual desire. For a number of reasons this most often takes the form of a male partner desiring more sex than the female partner.  Susan Bratton does a wonderful job of flipping conventional wisdom on it's head and giving us some great insight into how we can guide people to Revive Her Drive. 

In this episode, Kerry Lusignan talks about the benefits and structure of a couples intensive. Couples intensives are becoming more and more popular and are more effective for helping couples make deeper, more lasting progress. Kerry is the founder of Northampton Center for Couples Therapy in Northampton, MA. She has extensive training in several different models of couples therapy such as Gottman, EFT, PECT, Daring Way (Brene Brown), and many others.

One of the most difficult situations that couples face is when there has been an affair and they are trying to heal. Every one of these situations is unique and different, but there are some general themes that tend to come up a lot. When partners can learn the skills and are willing to work at it, the recovery can go much more smoothly.

This episode explores fundamental questions like why do we fall in love, why do couples fight and how can couples work through conflict? Harville Hendrix has been on the forefront of teaching about relationships for decades. He is the founder of the couples therapy model called Imago Couples Therapy. Harville Hendrix Ph.D. and Helen LaKelly Hunt Ph.D. are internationally-respected couple's therapists, educators, speakers, and New York Times bestselling authors.

For many people in our society there is a belief that conflict is always a bad thing and should be avoided at all costs. In the interview today we unravel this myth about conflict and explore how it is not only helpful to relationships, but also essential. That is not to say it is always a good thing and it is very important to understand how we are approaching conflict in our relationships. Not only are CrisMarie Campbell and Susan Clarke experts at this and have literally written the book.