Hole in My Heart Podcast

When I was first making the connection between my brain and attractions toward women, I promised myself that I would never tell my parents. I was terrified. "Would they reject me? Does this mean I am not a Christian? Or I'm the worst-broken Christian?" I'm so thankful that rejection wasn't a part of what I encountered, but it was still rocky. Lots of tears shed on this one with my dad, Randy Hekman. Also lots of cheese-related laughs. We play a game called "To Cheese or Not to Cheese." Come, laugh, cry, and goof around with us. ​Highlights: ​"What is love? God gives you love for your kids. Tell me: which of your kids is perfect? Tell me: which of you, mom and dad, is perfect? We need grace. We need to extend grace." --Randy Hekman "What does love actually mean? Love means you accept their heart and you care for them." --Randy Hekman ​"Our biggest weapon as a parents is what? . . . Our prayers. And God loves our kids more than we do . . . so keep praying. Keep loving. That's what I say to moms and dads." --Randy Hekman For More: https://lauriekrieg.com/podcast/when-your-kid-comes-out/

Loneliness. We all experience it, but not many of us want to talk about it. Let’s start the conversation here (and connect it to the necessity of friendship) with blogger and our new friend, Bridget Eileen! Also, we got new sound effects. Also we play “Explain a Film Plot Badly.” IT FUNNY. Also listen to the end. Producer Steve likes to hide nuggets. Highlights: “I really struggled with the question, ‘How could impossibly be saved if I still have this struggle?’ It was so important to me to realize God doesn’t just save me in the past, but he is saving me in my present.” --Bridget Eileen “The celibate life is really not livable without friendship.” --Bridget Eileen "I’ve seen what a struggle [friendship] is for myself. I have been able to forge close friendships . . . but there haven't been many. There have been a few precious people here and there that I have found . . . But not everybody does find close friends because our culture doesn’t have as much of an appreciation of friendship as something that is permanent and something that you prioritize." --Bridget Eileen For More Visit: https://lauriekrieg.com/podcast/at-the-intersection-of-friendship-and-loneliness/

When I (Laurie) was at a recent teaching event focused on leaning into LGBT+ conversation with grace and truth, I heard Daniel Mattson, author, speaker, and trombone player, share a story that made my jaw drop. As he taught, I found myself (for the first time) jealous of the way someone suffered. He offers that story here. We also play a ridiculous game where we all practice our acting skills (as West Michigan moms, hungry dinosaurs, and texting Millennials with focal fry), and Daniel and I lean into what labels we choose to identify (same-sex attracted? gay?) and why. Welcome back, friends! We are so excited to walk this season with you. Highlights: "God allows us to walk away from him and stumble and fall so we can learn to reach out our hands and have him pick us up again." --Daniel Mattson "I was tempted to despair when I was younger. I thought, 'If I obey God, I'm going to be stuck in a nursing home alone and forgotten.' . . . [But] let's say I'm in a retirement home when I'm 80. You know what I'm going to do? I'm going to be looking around at those other people who may have just lost their spouse and don't know what it means to have the single life and thrive. I am going to take them by the hand and say, 'You know? I've been doing this for a long time. Let's live out this life with joy.'" --Daniel Mattson For More Visit: https://lauriekrieg.com/podcast/jealous-of-your-suffering/

Remember when people used to write "HAGS" in your yearbook? That's this episode. Plus some more hearty stuff and a T-Rex costume. We talk favorite Goofball Island and Heart of the Matter moments, how has this podcast impacted us from start to finish, and talk future goals for it (please come be our best friends, Chris Pratt and Terry Cruze). Highlight: “There were some days when Matt and I would come in and record, and we were in fuming states or silent states. This podcast was a place to laugh together and find where we agree--which is the gospel.” --Laurie Krieg For More: https://lauriekrieg.com/podcast/h-a-g-s-have-a-great-summer/

This is our last official full-length podcast for season one of the HIMH podcast! [Insert weeping] We are going to us off into the July break talking about a favorite summer activity: camping. But this episode covers much more than camp life. Our guest, Susan Titus, a shares practical experience of caring for LGBT+ campers as well as ways God has convicted her to love LGBT+ people. (Her methods include reaching out to people in gay bars and wearing rainbow bracelets). Per usual, we learn a lot about what it means to live missionally. We also play a game called Camp or Tramp (is this a real camp experience or a faker?), and explore best and worst camp moments with our listener Question of the Week! Highlight: "What really propelled me down the path was we had a staff member...who came out about a relationship. [It] compelled me to get some skin in the game and really start to study, learn, and understand." --Susan Titus For More: https://lauriekrieg.com/podcast/getting-campy/

Friendship questions are some of the top inquiries we receive at HIMH. Is it biblical to have a best friend? At what point does a friendship turn codependent? What can we do about it? We cover it with codependency expert, Kelly Needham--someone who loves friendship so much she's writing a book about it. (And if you recognize that last name, it's because she is married to Christian worship artist, Jimmy Needham! A little fact we didn't know until 60 seconds before recording... Our bad.) We also get real deep into Tinkerbell and the Legend of the Neverbeast talk, as well as play a game called One Day where we answer who we would like to spend one day with (CCM artist (Kelly only has one right answer!), Food Network Star, Disney character, theologian...) Highlights: "We are called to be dependent on someone, but it's not on each other--it's on Christ." --Kelly Needham "Codependency ... is when our emotional sense of well-being becomes tied to another person." --Kelly Needham "Over time their friendship became so enmeshed and unhealthy ... something that should have been really good (walking someone through pain and suffering) became its own version of sin and suffering." --Kelly Needham Bonus: Check out the Kelly's Signs of Unhealthy Friendship here: https://lauriekrieg.com/podcast/the-codependency-complication/

We have two incredible stories for you today: One is of Kat LaPrairie, who identifies as transgender and experiences attractions toward women. Kat came out as gay after high school and had serial dating relationships with women for a decade. In those years, Kat woke up many nights "gasping for God." The other story is of a mom, Kathi Bush. Kathi is a clinical therapist and mom to a son who wrestles with gender dysphoria. Kathi shares not only pieces of her journey with her son, but practical ways parents of children wrestling with gender dysphoria can journey alongside them well. We also toss around our least favorite gender stereotypes, the Goo Goo Dolls (catch that opener? and the secret ending after the song at the very end?), and if we'd rather lose a year of our life or repeat the same day for 365 days. #itsgroundhogday Highlights: ​"That tugging at my heart, I felt it through those ten years. It would wake me up out of a sleep--where I would almost be gasping." --Kat LaPrairie ​"As parents we must be really self-aware to put ourself in a posture of love: I am going to put myself in your shoes and put myself in your space. This isn't about me." --Kathi Bush For More Visit: https://lauriekrieg.com/podcast/a-gender-conversation/

Friends: This is a story you 're not going to want to miss. Our guest, Rachel Gilson, wrote an article for Christianity today that was both award-winning and one of the most-read articles of 2017. When you hear her share her story of the gospel's good news for her here, you'll understand why. The story includes girlfriends, binge drinking, and a stolen copy of ​Mere Christianity. Rachel also shares about the gospel's right-now good newsiness in her walk with ongoing temptation. Because we are the HIMH podcast, we naturally discuss the past-tense version of the word, "cheat," the difference between a high-five and a fist-bump, and we play a game called Mascot or Villain (where you have to guess if the name is a sports mascot or super villain). Highlights: "There wasn't a particular paragraph or a line of logic that got me [in Mere Christianity]. It was that while I was reading, I was suddenly aware not only did God exist, but that he was incredibly holy, and that holiness was a problem for me." "I knew I couldn't pretend that the gospel wasn't real just because it was inconvenient for me. That would be the definition of stupidity." "In other groups I had made friends by telling dirty jokes and drinking a lot. (I learned pretty quickly that that's not how you make friends with Evangelicals). [My Christian friends] were so incredibly gracious to me. They just loved me right in. I never felt weird or out of place. It was just full acceptance all at once." "If you choose sin over relationship, it does not stay in your own private world, it always ripples out." For More Visit: https://lauriekrieg.com/podcast/the-thing-about-temptation/

Are we all leaders because of social media? How does social media play into the struggle with envy? When does pride get mixed up into that? (And what's the relationship to all of this and self-hatred?) We explore it with pastor, author, and speaker Adam Barr. We also walk with tauntauns, wampas, (and therefore the relationship between Star Wars and Dr. Seuss), and Matt Krieg brings the Goofball Island game for the first time. Woot! Highlights: "Prayer and pride are inversely proportional. If one side is high, the other side is low. If one side is low, the other side is high." "Jesus says... 'The harvest is plentiful and the workers are few.' Then he says, 'Pray to the Lord of the harvest.' He doesn't say, 'Get up and go out there!' He says, 'Pray.' Prayer is what unleashes anything good God wants to do in his Kingdom." "Beholding the glory of God is the antidote to thinking more or less of yourself." For More Visit: https://lauriekrieg.com/podcast/envy-pride-and-leadership/

Dr. Preston Sprinkle is in the house! ​We are hitting the New York Times bestseller with all the hard questions: What is your Enneagram number? What's your Hogwarts house? Where did the phrase "kick the bucket" come from? AFTER ALL OF DAT, we do talk a bit about God's design for gender, premarital sex (what does the Bible say?), and when to speak truth in love. Highlight: "Our leadership has to be consistently promoting and embodying a counter-cultural way of doing community that is really shocking and life-giving to people... Our current church structures are largely resistant to that kind of deep, vibrant, vulnerable types of communities that the New Testament is longing for." Question of the Week: When do you feel the most envious? For More Visit: https://lauriekrieg.com/podcast/gender-and-jesus/

We have a controversial guest on our podcast today: Rosaria Butterfield. Some of you may not know why she might be controversial; some of you may write off this podcast forever as a result of our interview. Give me us minute to explain why we intentionally invited her: The world is increasingly becoming post-Christian. We need other Christians. We need to link arms with other believers (even if we disagree with pieces of what they say) so that the gospel is preached. If you give this one a chance, you may be surprised at how much you are challenged and how many times you find places of agreement. We also talk about doilies, daydreaming about velociraptor attacks, auditioning for Disney, and we introduced Rosaria to a classic youth group game (Two Truths and a Lie) where kids effectively learn how to deceive each other. (Good job, us.) Highlights: "Laurie, genuinely I don't think you and I could put a church together, but if we couldn't put a community together ... what good are we?" "I learned my hospitality gifts in my LGBTQ community." "When you take great risks to love people across differences, the Lord meets you more than halfway there." "So many of the things that have created this post-Christian world would not have happened had the Body of Christ lived like the Body of Christ. The fact that we have relegated people to crushing loneliness is obscene." Question of the Week: What is the next hospitality step you took this week? (Also, if you have any questions for Preston, hit us up! Lord willing, he will be on next week--for real this time.) For More Visit: https://lauriekrieg.com/podcast/the-gospel-comes-with-a-house-key/

Did you or do you feel lost in your 20s? Lonely? ​Our guest, Drew Boa, asked (and still asks) in his 20s, "What is my purpose? Who are my people? Where do I belong?" Let's dive into that 20-something lostness, and talk about feeling lost in general. Then, let's explore how we can get anchored. Highlights: "[The gospel] is still good news for me today because even though I'm married, I have a daughter, and I'm living in beautiful Santa Barbara, I still feel lonely. I still feel the need for the good news that God is with me, and that I have brothers and sisters who can be my friends." "The mentors in my life the are the only reason I have gone through sexual recovery... They are the only reason I was able to publish a book, and they are the only reason I am still involved in a local church (even though it doesn't really feel like home for me). But they gave me this vision that the church is the bride of Christ and she is really sick and she is really unfaithful, but he is committed to her. and so we are, too." Question of the Week: What did the word "hospitality" mean to you growing up?" For More Visit: https://lauriekrieg.com/podcast/20-somethings-and-discipleship/

The hearty portion of this week's podcast is all about authenticity and intimacy: How can we be authentic without over-sharing? Can pastors/leaders be authentic? Should they be? How do emotional, physical, and spiritual intimacy relate to marriage and friendship? We are very heavy-handed with the goofball part of the show: In a fight between Eleven from Stranger Things and Hermione Granger from Harry Potter, who would win? Would you rather lose your texting ability or have to use dial-up internet forever? Would you rather have terrible dandruff, body odor, or flatulence? You get it all here at the Hole in My Heart Podcast. Highlights: "In your sharing, is it just in the hopes that someone will give you something? Is it in the hopes that this mass of people will say... 'Oh poor you!' Because then the sharing is entirely about you. [Instead] say, 'God, is this something that needs to be shared? Is this something that will help someone else?'" //Matt Krieg ​"Cultivating a platform and a culture of authenticity is critical." //Laurie Krieg Question of the Week: Have you ever felt lost as a 20-something? How so? What did you need or what do you feel like you need? Email us at podcast@himhministries.com or comment/message/hit us up wherever you can find us. For More Visit: https://lauriekrieg.com/podcast/how-we-heal-part-2/

Eh, boy. Here we go again! Getting vulnerable. ​As a follow-up to the now infamous (and most listened-to) Episode 24: Is There Hope for Us?, Matt and I [Laurie] give an update on our marriage's healing journey. We get really real. We pray you are only blessed by it. We also talk men's and women's ministries/conferences/retreats and the gifts and drawbacks of them, and I do a HILARIOUS round of Mom Jokes regarding cold weather. (I'm begging you to laugh.) Highlight: "The problem for me was I knew when we got married ... it was not this erotic, hormone-driven sexual desire. That was not there in the beginning. So what I rested my laurels on (and maybe made an idol of), was this friendship with you [Matt]. 'Well, at least if we can have this friendship with you, that can lead to sexual intimacy...' Nope. Gone. And when that was taken away what was left was this patched together, barely-tolerant-of-each-other marriage ... and God." //Laurie Krieg Question of the Week: What questions do you have for Dr. Preston Sprinkle? (He is next week's guest.) Sexuality, gender, non-violence, hell, or home church? What do you got? Comment, email, or hit us up somewhere and we might throw them at him! For More Visit: https://lauriekrieg.com/podcast/how-we-heal/

Who comes to your mind when you think about mentors or disciple-makers? Who comes to mind when you think about sexual discipleship? Anybody? Whether or not we realize it, we are discipled by the world. We learn the significance of sex, its importance (or lack thereof), and how to approach it by the world. We need another way. Our friend and co-laborer in the Kingdom, Dr. Juli Slattery, author, speaker, and podcaster walks us through a beautiful start of this conversation and some highlights in her fantastic new book, Rethinking Sexuality. We are real, we are gospel-focused, but because we can't ever keep things too serious, we talk about ridiculous but important-to-us things: How the gateway drug to alcohol is Mountain Dew (you know we are right), clean mullets, singing the Circle of Life at the top of your lungs, Morning Ninja Steve, and what if everything you ate tasted like bananas? It's a fun game of "Would you Rather," and a deep talk with our friend Dr. Juli Slattery. Highlight: "The [disciple-maker] grit doesn't come from this view of, 'I have so much to offer somebody else.' It comes from, 'I have encountered God in such a powerful way that I am just a leaky vessel that I want the Lord to pour through.'" For More Visit: https://lauriekrieg.com/podcast/sexual-discipleship/