Hole in My Heart Podcast

We at HIMH often about how “marriage and singleness are equally valuable modes we fulfill the mission to make disciples.” But how can we to-our-core believe this if we view life only as a timeline? … You are born, you go to school, you get married, you make Christian babies, you tithe, and you die. “Single people?” Married people say with this timeline in mind. “Uh, yeah, you’re valuable. You don’t fit the script, but you’re great!!!!!!” We married folk are well-meaning, but a tad insincere. However, if we do not view life simply as a timeline, rather a group of gardens to cultivate with Gardener God? Suddenly, life gets interesting. It’s 4D. We truly view each other as equally valuable, and as necessary to thriving as the Body of Christ. Throw on some overalls and grab a trowel; it's time to join Matt and Laurie as they unpack Intro Part 1 to the Gardens Series. I The Gardens: I Intellectual: Engaging topics of the mind about things that are traditionally non-emotional like concepts, ideas, facts Physical: Connecting and caring physically such as hugs, hand-holding, sensual touch, sex, hugs, anything that cares for the physical/tactile body (physical exercise, eating healthy) Emotional: Talking, crying, laughing, connecting to feelings, hopes, etc. Spiritual: Church attendance, Bible study, worship, prayer Social: Relational with each other and/or others Stewardship: The way that we prioritize and direct the resources God has given us such as our skills, time, money, spiritual gifts, and votes Family: Relationships to family including children, in-laws, and extended family I Do the Next Thing: I Watch this conversation! https://vimeo.com/509052687 To see pictures of the Gardens, visit https://lauriekrieg.com/podcast/an-introduction-to-the-gardens-series-part-1-with-laurie-matt-and-steve/ Get our book! (Chapter 5 is where you can read more!) https://lauriekrieg.com/shop/ We mentioned a test you can take to learn more? You can purchase the Impossible Marriage workshop here [https://lauriekrieg.com/product/ultimate-impossible-marriage-workshop-package/] or invite us to come to do a teaching or marriage workshop on this! Reach out to Michele at events@lauriekrieg.com.

Author and speaker Hannah Brencher talks real life: She's wrestled with life-threatening depression, has been a viral TED speaker, and is here today to help us to get some soul stability if our mental health has taken a hit. Together, we explore: How can we put practices in place without feeling like legalists? How can we face the inner critic if he/she doesn't stop berating us? If we show up and fail, how can we recover? 2021 requires real life conversations, and Hannah's the right one for the job. I Highlights I “I knew in my soul, ‘You’re not gonna hide. You’re gonna show up anyway. You’re gonna do exactly what you would have done if you were the most confident person in the world.’ And with each decision to just move forward anyway, that …inner critic loses some of its power.” -Hannah Brencher “No one wins if you don’t show up in the world how you need to show up.... You’ll live this half-hearted life if you let fear have that amount of power over you.” -Hannah Brencher I Do the Next Thing I Check out Hannah’s website to find her book, Fighting Forward, as well as so much more! https://www.hannahbrenchercreative.com Watch this conversation! https://vimeo.com/506349211 Follow Laurie on Instgram for updates! https://www.instagram.com/laurie_krieg/?hl=en

This is a needed conversation, and author and apologist Sean McDowell is the right one to have it. As parents and ministry leaders, we don't always know how to answer Gen Z's toughest questions. Praise the Lord that Sean does, and that he's willing to help us to unpack ones like: “Why would God keep me from loving whomever I want to love?" “Why do you call your attractions to the same sex brokenness? You are not broken.” “I just need to be free. Why are you stopping me from freedom?” “If I am attracted to the same sex, why would God call me to loneliness (ie. singleness)?” “Who cares about sex before marriage?” Thanks, Sean, for being a helpful friend today on the podcast! (And for being a real friend to Laurie at the surprise ending that made her cry happy tears. Listen all the way to the end to hear it. :) ) I Highlights I “If I could give one piece of advice, it would be to have conversations with your kids.” -Sean McDowell “The point in this is that sex means something. So the final question...is if we communicate with our bodies and sex means something, then how do we love God and love other people with our bodies? What does that mean? And what does that look like?” -Sean McDowell I Do the Next Thing I Check out Sean’s book, Chasing Love, as well as other resources, here! https://seanmcdowell.org/ Watch this conversation! https://vimeo.com/user106633307/review/503627526/f0400ba4b0 Join our Facebook group! https://www.facebook.com/groups/himhpodcast

Buckle your seatbelts, friends. This episode gets a bit bumpy. Maybe your family—like ours—has people with different political beliefs in it. When I (Laurie) chose to co-host this episode with my dad, I didn’t realize a major theme would be loving each other through differing political beliefs. The major gift of this surprise theme was that by the end, we were all nodding in agreement with each other—unified in the gospel. And oh yeah… the matchless Os Guinness may have been our guest, but he acted like a brilliant mediator guiding my dad and I (and our divided world?) toward grace for each other and a reliance on “true truth.” Maybe you can relate to this conversation? P.S. This was recorded before the mob at the capital, but the heart of it is still very much applicable. I Highlights I “People don’t realize the wonder of the gospel! So I give you the little phrase, 'Contrast is the mother of clarity.’ Every time you see what the alternatives [to the gospel] lead to, you come back with wonder, love, and praise at the difference the good news of Jesus makes.” -Os Guinness “Remember how Elijah made people convinced that Jehovah was the real God was the miracle of the fire coming down. We can show miracles today, too….For…followers of Christ to love each other, despite their differences, is a powerful message to our very split world.” -Randy Heckman “Hopelessness and despair are always pagan. The gospel always ends in a sense of hope.” -Os Guinness “Have faith in God. Have no fear.” -Os Guinness I Do the Next Thing I Check out more of Dr. Guinness on his website! http://www.osguinness.com Watch this Conversation! https://vimeo.com/501090464 Join our Facebook group to find the Question of the Week and more! https://www.facebook.com/groups/himhpodcast

The world feels like it’s on fire, and if we are honest? Many of us have started or increased unhealthy habits to cope. Some have turned to porn, the use of which increased globally by 11% (https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/32663384/) at the start of the pandemic. But wait! If this is you or a friend? Before you turn away in shame or self-hatred, we pray and believe that this conversation with John Michael Cusick, licensed professional counselor, teacher, and author of Surfing for God will truly encourage you. Discover the heart behind porn addiction and how you can overcome it—yes, even now while the world is on fire—on today’s episode. I Highlights I “I don’t see that the story of God presumes that we are more sinful than we believe. I would say that we’re more loved than we know and believe, but that we’re more *broken* than we understand. And that our sinful behaviors flow and overflow out of our brokenness.” -Michael John Cusick “We all experience ongoing conversions of our heart where the love of God and the Holy Spirit gets down into the nooks and crannies of who we are. Or, more accurately, Christ already dwells in us, and the Spirit is there, and the Spirit comes up and out of those nooks and crannies as the layers of shame and the layers of lies and the rubble of trauma begin to fall away.” -Michael John Cusick “Whenever there’s any kind of suffering, it becomes an opportunity and it’s a bridge to becoming who we are and living in our union with Christ, as opposed to a barrier.” -Michael John Cusick “[O]ur biggest sin becomes that we settle for good enough as opposed to for the abundant life.” -Michael John Cusick I Do the Next Thing I Check out Michael John Cusick’s website for more updates on what he’s doing! https://michaeljohncusick.com Watch this Conversation! https://vimeo.com/498439957 Join our Facebook group for updates! https://www.facebook.com/groups/himhpodcast

What’s your word for the year? On this episode, Matt, Laurie, and Steve talk about what God has taught them in 2020 (yes—even in 2020!). Leaps of faith, major life changes, and—how could we forget?—Rona! Through it all, God has been faithful. Heading into 2021, then, the crew also addresses what God is pointing to for the future—thus, our words. With that—Happy New Year, and happy listening! I Highlights I “He is holding onto me when I’m not grabbing onto Him, when I grab for other things.” -Steve O’Dell “[Transactional interaction] is not the Father’s heart. He gives generously ‘cause He is so kind, but He wants a relationship!” -Laurie Krieg “And I remember feeling like, ‘God, did you bring us here to die?’ and He was just like, ‘Where were you? Have you not been watching what I’ve been doing?’” -Matt Krieg I Do the Next Thing I SUPPORT OUR NEW MINISTRY INITIATIVE! https://celebratekids.networkforgood.com/projects/119777-ignite-the-family-marriage-initiative Join our Facebook group to get updates and join the conversation! https://www.facebook.com/groups/himhpodcast OR find Laurie on Instagram! https://www.instagram.com/laurie_krieg/?hl=en Also—shameless plug—check out the Bible App and get started on a reading plan if you’re looking for deeper intimacy with God! https://www.bible.com/app

These days, it's so easy to fall into a "what-have-you-done-for-me-lately" mindset. We like following that person, we enjoy that podcast, we appreciate that channel--but serve them? Partner with them? Nah. Unless we do. We are so grateful for listeners who have stepped up to support and volunteer with our ministry--including the two we are highlighting today: Jon Leach and Amanda Mclaurin. These two were more than hearers of the Word, they were doers...and we are forever grateful. Hear their story, their "why" for saying yes to the Spirit's prompting, and how we can lean in where God is calling each of us on today's episode. Merry Christmas, guys! I Highlights I “I decided that if Jesus really meant that it was better that His Spirit was with me, then I could trust Him.” -Jon Leach “If the only thing stopping me is fear, then it’s time to dig in and start praying for faith and courage to move forward.” -Amanda McLaurin “As I was purposefully getting closer to Jesus, that proximity to Him, enabled me to to be passionate about His people and the people of the world that He cares about.” -Jon Leach “I don’t wanna kick down a door that God has closed, but I also don’t wanna stop knocking just because there’s initial resistance.” -Amanda McLaurin I Do the Next Thing I See how you too can partner with us here! http://lauriekrieg.com/partner/ Watch this conversation! https://vimeo.com/494470217 Join our Facebook group to get plugged into the Heart of the Matter with Jon and Amanda! https://www.facebook.com/groups/himhpodcast

Purity culture—yep, we’re going there. Ladies and gents—if you’ve ever felt that your worth, dignity, or purity were wrapped up in your sexuality, this is for you. On this episode, Rachel Joy Welcher, author of new book *Talking Back to Purity Culture*, helps us debunk the myths of sexuality that have come from purity culture. Join us as we celebrate the gospel and all the gifts Christ gives—even in our sexuality. I Highlights I “You can’t stop your spouse from sinning if they want to sin—but you can sure love them!” -Rachel Joy Welcher “You don’t fight sexual sin with sex. You fight sexual sin with self-control and love for the Lord and love for your neighbor.” -Rachel Joy Welcher “Our dignity cannot be changed and our purity cannot be changed, if we are in Christ.” -Rachel Joy Welcher I Do the Next Thing I Pre-order Rachel Joy Welcher’s book, *Talking Back to Purity Culture.* https://www.racheljwelcher.com Watch this Conversation! https://vimeo.com/492536473 Join our Facebook group! https://www.facebook.com/groups/himhpodcast

2020 has been a year of uncertainty and suffering for all of us. Joy might be the farthest thing from our minds as we look back on this season of loss and chaos. But guys? Joy is still God’s heart for us. Today, we hear from Shaunti Feldhahn about how we can cultivate a habit of joy—even in the midst of the deepest loss and confusion. Join us as we hear from her on this delightful gift that God has given and called us to. I Highlights I “[Joy] is something that you actually have to pursue, because it is there. It’s like the Kingdom—You know, Jesus talked so much about “My kingdom” being here, and the reality is it’s there, it's all around us. The reality is God’s presence with us is as close as our heartbeat, right? It’s Jesus in us….And yet because of [our] sinfulness, it’s so easy for us to focus on everything else that is going to steal that joy from us.” -Shaunti Feldhahn “[Joy] is there—but it is to be attended to.” -Shaunti Feldhahn “How do you [rejoice?]...You think on whatever is excellent. You think on whatever is lovely. You think on whatever is worthy of praise, rather than whatever is worthy of driving you nuts!” -Shaunti Felhahn I Do the Next Thing I Check out Shaunti’s latest book, *Find Joy: A Devotional Journey to Unshakable Wonder in an Uncertain World.* https://shaunti.com/tb-books/find-joy-devotional-journey-to-unshakable-wonder/ Watch this conversation! https://vimeo.com/490057553

Do you remember even two or four years ago when you could remind stirred-up Christians, "Hey, guys? We got to love our enemies!" and they would often say, "Oh, yeah!" Nowadays, when you say the same thing, it would not be unusual to hear something like, "Nah. I'm good." Pastor and author Scott Sauls is here to wake us up with how to address our enemies in this sometimes-hostile 2020 world. This is another conversation we will not soon forget. I Highlights I “Righteous anger attacks problems; raging anger attacks people….We’re supposed to love our enemies, not put them in their place.” -Scott Sauls “Jesus didn’t flip tables on the woman caught in adultery.” -Matt Krieg “I am so bad that I needed what Christ [did]—I needed the bloodbath on the cross in order to justly take care of what a trainwreck I am. And yet I was and am so loved by Him that He was not only willing but eager to go through the bloodbath in order to have me as His own. And if that’s what I’m operating out of, I just don’t know how you’re gonna offend me after that.” -Scott Sauls I Do the Next Thing I Check out Scott’s book, A Gentle Answer! https://scottsauls.com/books/ Watch this conversation! https://vimeo.com/487412890 Join our Facebook group! https://www.facebook.com/groups/himhpodcast

It’s Thanksgiving in the States! Today, from our respective shelter-in-place spots (again!), we are sharing what we are grateful for and hearing from you. Not only that, however, but we are sharing what we have learned in this very hard year, and how we can take that good, suffering-produced fruit into 2021. We are thankful for YOU guys, today! I Highlights I "I’m thankful for how much it’s had to scrape away false identities that I didn’t even know that I was holding onto. Because I am so ambitious and I have so much drive, that it could kill me—and us [Matt and Laurie]. I’m not saying I’m on the brink of breaking apart but I just was like, 'Jesus, I need your help.' Because I can make that my identity. And I’m so thankful for His surgeon-like precision of being like, 'Laurie, I’m your identity. It’s only me. Whether you "succeed" or fail—whatever. None of that matters. Just be in Me and you’ll produce much fruit—whatever that fruit is.' I am learning deeper intimacy as He strips away more of my false identities." -Laurie Krieg I Do the Next Thing I Watch this Conversation! https://vimeo.com/484638879

We have been on pins and needles waiting to release this episode to you all! It is one of those episodes we can't stop thinking about... Author and pastor, John Mark Comer, brings it. He helps us to think deeply about questions like, "What is success?" "What defines failure?" "What do we do when we are overwhelmed with the calling God has on our lives?" "How do we understand our identity in the midst of the culture we live in?" Pop in those earbuds and go on that walk, do those dishes, make that Thanksgiving meal, but you may find you need to pause and take notes because this brother has some encouraging and exhortative things to say. I Highlights: I “For Paul, Christ did not die so that we do not have to. Christ died to show us how to die.” -John Mark Comer “The great trajedy of Western life is [that] it’s a lie. Nobody—even the most successful—nobody just keeps climbing the mountain. At some point, you face suffering, pain, failure, rejection, mistakes, regret, and often we don’t see it in the people we lionize, but that’s branding. It’s not because it’s not there.” -John Mark Comer “So in the old metrics, you knew if you were a good person if you were faithful to your spouse and you raised your children well and you worked hard that day. In the new metrics, you know if you’re a good person, so to speak, based on how many Instagram followers you have, how cool you are, how beautiful you are, how successful you are—these are brutal, punishing metrics that produce massive anxiety, fear, and existential angst in people. Which is why I think much of the gospel for Millennials and Gen Z going forward will be a better way to do identity.” -John Mark Comer I Do the Next Thing: I Check out John Mark Comer’s books, especially the latest *The Ruthless Elimination of Hurry*! https://johnmarkcomer.com Watch this Conversation! https://vimeo.com/481881818 Help us out! Review the podcast for us wherever you listen :)

Walking alongside people who wrestle with their gender identity is such a unique journey. Because it is so unique and often very complex, it's wise to hear from the experts, don't you think? Dr. Mark Yarhouse is one of the preeminent gender + psychology + Christianity experts, and we brought him on to share about his new book, Emerging Gender Identities, and help us to learn how to walk better alongside our friends who experience some level of gender + body dissonance. I Highlights: I “If you’re just a natural object, like a chemical compound…chemical compounds don’t interact with their classification. But if you classify people, a human kind, human beings respond and react to the language and categories you give them, and they begin to think of themselves differently.” -Dr. Mark Yarhouse “I don’t know that the ministry approach we’re taking to shepherding people is meeting people where they’re at. Because when you have to announce kind of a final decision of, ‘I was facing this fork in the road that was like a crisis for me”—maybe existentially, spiritually, psychologically—“and I was facing this and I didn’t bring anybody in from the church, or at least from the elders and shepherding pastors”…Rather than look at them and say, ‘Can we make sure that you do the right thing?’ I’m gonna look at myself and say, ‘Where are we not connecting in ministry?’” -Dr. Mark Yarhouse I Do the Next Thing: I Get Dr. Yarhouse's book! https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/emerging-gender-identities-mark-yarhouse/1133988274 And listen to the podcast the last time we had Dr. Yarhouse! https://lauriekrieg.com/podcast/walking-well-as-pastors-parents-and-therapists/

Have you ever struggled to find quiet? In the world, in your life, in yourself? We’re here with singer/songwriter and now AUTHOR Jamie Grace to talk about what it looks like to find peace and center ourselves on the Lord in this crazy world we’re living in! Join us as we hear from her about artistry, anxiety, mental health, comparison, social media, and so much more! I Highlights: I “We have this misconstrued concept of what success is, and…we become so anxious as a culture and as a society and as a generation that we can’t find peace until we get the most, or the biggest, or the highest. And practically, we’ll never get the most or the biggest or the highest!” -Jamie Grace “If I am constantly trying to pursue the best or the most or the biggest or to be loved by all, to be known by all, to have my story shared with all, I will be completely depleted.” -Jamie Grace “It’s simply not worth it to pursue noise and volume.” -Jamie Grace “I believe that my God is a healer….I’ve seen God heal, I know what He can do….But who am I to say that God using my testimony is not my healing?” -Jamie Grace I Do the Next Thing: I Follow Jamie Grace (and also Laurie) on Instagram! https://www.instagram.com/jamiegraceh/ Order Finding Quiet, Jamie’s new book, here! https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/finding-quiet-jamie-grace/1136472144 Check out the Pause App by John Eldredge and go find some quiet! https://www.pauseapp.com Note: Video didn’t go through this week! Sad day—but enjoy the podcast!!

It’s the Hole in My Heart Podcast LIVE! True story: This was about Plan D of our celebratory-book-launch-party-worship fest (thanks, Rona!), but God was in it all the same. Today, Matt, Laurie, Steve, and some special guests celebrate the work of the gospel through Matt and Laurie’s story and through you all. There are testimonies, prizes, jokes, and GOOFBALL ISLAND is back for one night only. Thanks for being a part of this adventure, fam! I Highlights: I “You’ve wanted to write a book—*A* book—for a long time. But the fact that it’s this book reminds me that it’s the gospel that’s impossible. And as we live that out and reflect that through marriage or whatever we’re called to, we are living out an impossible thing because God’s the author of it. He calls us to impossible stuff, because He went first.” -Steve O’Dell “Are you willing to give your whole life into HIs hands and say, ’Not my will but yours, God. Will you make this impossible possible? Will you shape me into what you want it to be?’ ….And watch what He does! ….It’s gonna be better than you could write." I Do the Next Thing: I ORDER THE BOOK!!! https://lauriekrieg.com Watch this conversation! (COMING SOON) Join the Hole In My Heart Facebook Page! https://www.facebook.com/groups/himhpodcast