Trends in Low Places

McHeist! This week, Michael walks us through the Hamburglar's boldest crime ever, Mike has his fill of Bigfoot erotica, and we learn that Tom Cruise has never been on the Internet, ever. A benevolent TILP God smiles His light upon us. McHeist: The Stolen Cushing Pounds McHeist 2: Ronald McMobster McHeist 3: Publisher's Incarceration House Horny for Bigfoot Man the Poop Torpedoes World Wide Cruise The hubris of pool tuggin'

This week, the boys immediately go off the rails with a coked-up Pikachu and never look back. Michael gets accepted into ninja school, Mike laments black market dino exchanges, and we all shlorp the bone soup of a stupid mummy. It's our best yet. Highlights include: Pikachua fingerblast explosion [1:45]; Teddy Ninjasvelt [6:30]; Escape to Crime [23:00]; Dumb Allosaurus Bones [33:00]; Milkshake Mummy [43:00]; 23 scoops of cannibalism! [54:40]

In their horniest episode yet, the boys peep a bunch of really impressive hogs. Michael introduces the latest evolutionary marvel killed by Australia, Mike reveals the wonderful world of dinosaurotica, and damn do we just talk about dicks the whole time. Highlights include: - POTUS, FLOTUS, or SCOTUS - Pounded in the butt by my own dinosaur bone - Frog Hogs - Work-crime quorums - Robo rectum? Damn near killed him. - Flaccid coffin super soaker

This week the boys rack up some hefty Nigerian cyberbullying charges. Michael gets real nasty with some Double-D Divination, Mike partakes in the new Weed Sacraments for the Lord, and we take prisons to fantasyland. It's our best yet. Highlights include: - Cotton holidays [1:00] - Welcome to weed church, losers. [5:00] - The pendulous breasts of fate [13:00] - 274 counts of cyberbullying! [20:30] - The wages of TED is death. [32:30] - PrisonBreak: Westeros[42:40] - Dancing with kittens [52:45]

This week, the boys break down the hottest food trends: crotch ovens and hot dog water. Mike admits his fear of death at the hands of the Almighty Father, Michael ponders the potency of Big Dick Energy, and we’re finally calling it – The Rock is a real-life movie star, you guys! It’s our best yet. Highlights include: ; Rabbit, rabbit! ; Hot dog exit strategies ; That tasty Welch’s God Juice ; Brick-lined crotch oven pizza ; Hot dog water ; Big dick energy ; Porn in all the wrong places

This week, the boys catch all the buzz around the World Cup and propose a new line of public-use sex clothes. Michael serves up a hot slice of Greg, Mike admits he’s kind of here for Space Force, and we massage our vacation livers. It’s our best show yet. Highlights include: - Vacation Liver Orgy House [2:30] - Buzzing those bits. [10:15] - Dangerously insane [28:20] - Enter the Chicken Ring Hellmouth. - The Inaugural Taste of Greg [42:00] - POOPINT [57:40]

Here you go, ya nasty babies. This week, the boys delve into the secret world of toilet espionage. Mike does a fitness, Michael questions your journalistic integrity, and we take a two-country global tour of flapjacks. It’s our best yet. Highlights include: -Interntional Burger Boy [0:45] -True Fitness Lies [6:50] -Mission: Impoosible [9:40] -Worst. Hulk. Ever. [24:00] -8-armed mouthbabies. [31:20] -Libertarian Pizza Dream[37:50] -Hey science? Maybe chill with the murderbots? [46:00] -TILP Trinity [58:00]

This week, the boys revisit a low-hanging TILP legend. Mike digs deep into Cushing family lore to reveal a childhood ursine menace, Michael meets a joke-telling robot that will take our jobs, and we wonder why you put that thang up there. Somehow Operation Dumbo Drop shows up. Highlights include: Old timey HR [1:30] International House of Bad Publicity Stunts [4:15] Roto-rooty, fresh and fruity [12:30] Hanger stakes [20:30] World Record Hats [23:15] Two for poo. [37:00] The Wellington Bear [48:30] Leave comedy to the professionals. [53:00] United Dinos of America [58:00]

This week, the boys light a candle for dearly departed robot dogs. Michael plays headline roulette, Mike highlights the Razor scooter pandemic sweeping Atlanta, and we all survive a close shave in the pool of life. Highlights include: - K-Pop Growthhacking [7:00] - Headline Roulette [13:00] - Strap 'Em On Your Feet Baby, Let's Go! [21:00] - All Robo Dogs Go to Heaven [24:00] - Captcha'd! [31:30] - Antivenmo [32:30] - A hair too much pool time. [42:45] - Lots of people doing Ecstasy, these days! [55:00]

This week, the boys are fascinated by the splendor of a royal wedding. Mike shows us how the sausage is made. Michael uses sound science to get to the bottom of octopus DNA, and the boys get real pedantic with Neil Degrasse Tyson. At us, Neil. Highlights include: Serena Williams, Duchess of Pong M-Brie-MA Wurst Car Ever The NSA Dogabase Thirty-three scientists can't be wrong More like Neil Degrasse Dunkedon

This week, the boys wade waist-deep into a salacious copyright fight. Mike proposes a new Holy Sacrament and we decide which Chris we want to smooch most. Highlights include: - Pope 420 II [1:30] - Grimes’ boyfriend [4:30] - Horton's Hears a Poo. [11:40] - Whole Lotto poop. [26:40] - Getting cocky with the cocky boys. [32:15] - Evans in the streets, Hemsworth in the sheets. - Prison stones. [45:00] - Dildo Ate My Homework [52:00]

This week, the Bad Sex in Fiction Awards make a triumphant return! Michael takes us on a tractor ride. Mike visits some horrible vineyards. A listener delivers some very talented, very scary horses. We all go poopity-scoopity. It's our best yet. Highlights include: - Poopity Scoopity - Is Tom Hardy good? - That zombo John Deere speed - Bad murder fanfic - Mario possession - Horse hapkido

We finally hit that very funny sex number! Best shed your outerwear, because this episode is hotter than three weasels playing ultimate frisbee on the Sun. This week, Michael celebrates equestrian drinking games, Mike thirsts for that sexy robot with a bodacious bod. Dammit, Karen. Highlights include: - Hot as a monkey’s uncle [2:00] - Peak Barenaked Ladies [16:00] - What if horse drunk? [23:00] - Big, dumb idiot, not sexy robot [37:30] - Becoming Karen. [45:40]

This week, we form the Ocean’s 11 of food crimes. Mike slaps a sports horse on the butt, Michael sends a bill to the moon. We take a moment to think about old people smashing it. Food crimes never pay. [13:00]; Bill It to the Moon [20:05]; The Queen Mary 2 [29:00]; The Flea’s Bees [37:30]; A shower of shower thoughts. [43:00]

This week, we celebrate a brilliant Chinese tax-evasion, spouse-swapping scheme. Michael dips his little toesies in the mixology game, Mike slaps on his lab coat and checks WebMD, and oops - you have lupus. We delve into the treacherous world of global fart laws. Highlights include: - Wife Swap Tax Chop [2:00] - Yukon Mixology [9:15] - The Big Weed Day [17:15] - Doctor of griftology [20:20] - Fart Law and Toot Torts [28:00} - Punch that big ol' shark [36:00] - Ain't no rule says a bear can't play international soccer. [44:30] - The sixth sex circle of Hell. [54:45]