Mom Enough: A Parenting Podcast

Is your child a late walker or still struggling to find his balance on a bike while his friends ride by? Does your first-grader have trouble printing her name clearly? Or do you worry that your premature baby may never keep up on the sports field? Dr. Michael Wade, professor of Kinesiology in the University of Minnesota’s College of Education and Human Development, brings useful information and words of encouragement to his conversation with Marti & Erin, clarifying how to know if your child’s motor skills warrant assessment or intervention. We are grateful to Minnesota Help Me Grow for their sponsorship of this week’s episode of Mom Enough.   Have you had concerns about the timing or quality of your child’s development of motor skills, such as walking, ball skills, drawing or general coordination? What did you hear in this Mom Enough discussion that was helpful or encouraging?   For Motor Milestones, click here. For Developmental Milestones, click here. For Help Me Grow, click here.

As parents, we all worry about threats to our children’s health and safety. And yet, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, the leading threat to the lives of children under the age of 14 is the ordinary experience of riding in a car. So, what can we do to keep our children as safe as possible, whatever their ages? Heather Darby, passenger safety expert from the Minnesota Department of Public Safety, Office of Traffic Safety, joins Marti & Erin for an important update on laws and best practices (which usually go beyond the law), including the importance of distraction-free driving!   What are the ages of your children and what are best practices for ensuring that they are safe passengers, whether they are riding with you or others? Who else drives your children (e.g. grandparents, babysitters, friends) and how knowledgeable are they about best practices? (How about having them listen to this Mom Enough show from the Minnesota Department of Public Safety, Office of Traffic Safety?)   To locate a Minnesota car seat check near you, click here. For Buckle Up Kids, click here. For a Guide for Child Passenger Safety Seats and Seat Belts, click here.

A parent’s death is devastating to the surviving spouse and children. But when the death is by suicide, stigma may lead to silence and isolation, and suicide survivors often experience the added pain of guilt, shame, confusion and anger. Rebecca Anderson and her children lost their husband and father to suicide in 2002 and, since then, have taken steps to challenge the stigma of mental illness and suicide, using their experience to support others facing such a tragic loss. Drawing on the Suicide Survivors' Club book series they developed with artist Laurie Phillips, Rebecca and son Aidan join Marti & Erin for a candid discussion of this issue that touches the lives of so many (including Marti, who has strong memories of her grandfather’s suicide when she was seven years old).   Have you been touched directly by suicide in your family or community? Why do you think there continues to be such a stigma about it and what steps could you take to help reduce that stigma?   For the Suicide Survivors' Club website, click here.

When our child misbehaves, we often react quickly with a lecture, a consequence or an angry outburst. But what if we paused to see through our child’s eyes and understand what motivated his or her behavior? What if we took a moment to assess our own feelings and how they are colored by stress or life experiences, past and present? This is reflective parenting, as psychiatrist Regina Pally discusses with Marti & Erin, and it can transform our relationships and the way we help our children learn to understand their own emotions and behavior.   Think of a recent difficult situation with your child and how you handled it. What do you think might have been the purpose or meaning of your child’s behavior? What were your feelings at the time? Were your figures triggered only by your child’s behavior or did other factors enter in? Using these reflections, what, if anything, would you do differently in that situation?   For The Reflective Parent, click here. For Dr. Pally's advice on parenting, click here.

Many children develop the idea that math is hard, just too much work and drudgery. And yet, even toddlers are attracted to numbers and have an intuitive sense of the meaning of basic math skills. So how can we sustain that interest in our young children or help our older kids recapture it? University of Minnesota professor Michele Mazzocco has spent her career studying just that and she joins Marti & Erin for an encouraging and interesting discussion of how to help your children discover that math is fun, doable and relevant to everyday life. Tune in and you may find your own attitude toward math skills improving too! This Mom Enough show is made possible thanks to the support of Help Me Grow.   Whatever the ages of your children, what do you notice about the way they intuitively use math concepts in everyday life? Based on what you heard in this Mom Enough show, what could you do to help your children build math skills and get excited about math?   For the Institute of Child Development, click here. For the Mazzocco Math and Numeracy Lab, click here. For the Center for Early Education and Development, click here. For Help Me Grow’s developmental milestones, click here.

It’s great for kids (and adults, for that matter) to be active and involved in vigorous sports. However, some activities put participants at particular risk for repeated concussions, with potentially life-long consequences. But information is power and this week’s Mom Enough show is packed with information about how to recognize and respond to concussions and, most important how to prevent concussions in your young athletes. Don’t miss this important discussion with Jon Roesler, Epidemiologist Supervisor with the Injury and Violence Prevention Unit at the Minnesota Department of Health.   What new things did you learn in the Mom Enough discussion about the causes and consequences of concussions? What steps will you take to prevent your children from suffering concussions, especially repeated concussions, which do great harm?   For a checklist of symptoms that may help your doctor in diagnosing a concussion, click here. For Minnesota Medicine’s “This is Your Brain on Sports” article, click here. For the MN Department of Health’s Traumatic Brain and Spinal Cord Injury information, click here. For the Brain Injury Alliance of Minnesota, click here.

It’s easy for our days as mothers to become one big to-do list. And when someone tells us we should make time for self-care, we might be tempted to shout, “Not one more thing!” Author Julie Burton knows that, but she also knows how important it is for moms to join forces to figure out realistic ways to nurture our health and well-being, both for ourselves and our children. To that end, Julie interviewed hundreds of mothers in preparation for writing her book, The Self-Care Solution: A Modern Mother’s Must-Have Guide to Health and Well-Being. She brings the experiences of these mothers and her own insights as a mother of four to her heartfelt discussion with Marti & Erin.   To what extent do you build self-care into your daily life? What factors help or hinder you in attending to your own health and well-being? What tips would you offer a new mom about how to build self-care into her life?   For Julie's blog, click here.

As parents, our days are filled with little challenges -- making sure our kids get out the door on time for school, getting siblings to play well together, helping a toddler accept “no” without a tantrum, persuading teens to get off the phone and do their homework. Dr. Alan Kazdin, professor and director of the Parenting Center at Yale, has spent his career helping parents whose children are especially defiant and challenging. But his latest book, The Everyday Parenting Toolkit, brings his proven methods to bear on the challenges all children and parents face. He joined Marti & Erin in this week’s show for a lively discussion, offering a positive parenting framework you will want to try with your own children.   In this week’s Mom Enough show, Dr. Alan Kazdin from Yale University, discusses his ABC approach to handling parenting challenges (A for antecdents, B for behavior, C for consequences). What challenging behaviors would you like to change with your child? What steps could you take to apply Dr. Kazdin’s positive parenting method, starting with small changes and moving toward the bigger goals?   For Parenting that Works from the American Psychological Association, click here. For the principles and techniques of behavior change, click here.

As parents, many of us are uneasy talking candidly with our sons and daughters about healthy relationships, dating and the decisions they will face in their relationships. We may worry that if we say too much, we’ll stimulate our children’s sexual interest. But talking is essential to teaching values and healthy, respectful choices. Fueled by a traumatic incident in his own family, Mike Domitrz has helped countless people learn how to approach this important part of parenting. Building on his book Can I Kiss You?, Mike brings a powerful message and concrete tips to his discussion with Marti & Erin.   What did you hear in this Mom Enough show that will help you talk with your children about healthy relationships, dating and sexual decision-making? Mike Domitrz emphasizes teaching the practice of asking, “Can I kiss you?” Have you done that and, if so, how did your children respond?   For The Date Safe Project, click here. For The Date Safe Project blog, click here. For Can I Kiss You?, click here.  

We’ve all seen them (and many of us have been them) – the parents yelling at the referee, coaching their child from the sidelines or booing the other team. What are kids learning when they see that behavior? And how does that sport parent behavior affect children’s health, well-being and feelings about sports? University of Minnesota researcher Dr. Nicole LaVoi has spent years seeking answers to these questions, and she has helped many communities move toward more positive attitudes and behavior to support children’s development as athletes and people of character. In this Mom Enough show, Marti & Erin were taking Nicole’s well-tested advice on being a good sport parent to heart, and you will too!   How would you describe your own behavior at your children’s sports events? Based on what Dr. LaVoi discussed in this Mom Enough interview, what are you doing well and what could you improve as a sport parent?   To watch Dr. LaVoi present Paradox, Pitfalls, & Parity: Where Have all the Women Coaches Gone?, click here. For Dr. LaVoi's youth sport blog, click here. For research on working mother-coaches in youth sports, click here. For A Rationale for Encouraging Mothers to Coach Youth Sport, click here. For Mother-Coach Generated Strategies for Increasing Female Coaches in Youth Sport, click here. For Policy Recommendations for Increasing Women Coaches in Youth Sport, click here.

All children (and adults, for that matter) have worries and fears, but some of us, child or adult, worry so much that it interferes with our sleep, appetite, school, work and fun. California psychologist Dr. Dan Peters brings to this week’s Mom Enough show some well-tested practical steps for helping your child learn to manage fear and worries. And, as his two newest books explain, similar strategies will work for you if you are a chronic worrier. Marti & Erin are eager to use Dan’s advice with the worriers in their family, and you will be too!   Do you have a child who is a worrier? What have you tried to help him or her manage those worries and fears? What new ideas did you hear in this week’s Mom Enough show?   For Make Your Worrier a Warrior, click here. For the Summit Center, click here. For Dr. Dan's blog, click here.

When a child has complex health needs or a disability, all family members are affected. Healthy, typically developing siblings often experience a wide range of emotions, including fear, sadness, anger, confusion or guilt. But Monica Handlos of Pediatric Home Service is helping provide support for siblings by helping them find common ground with other children facing similar challenges, guiding them to understand and manage their feelings and helping them and their parents navigate the uncertain path they are traveling. Tune in to learn what to watch for, how to encourage healthy coping and why groups that provide support for siblings are so helpful.   Do you have a child – or know a child – who has a sibling with serious health problems or a disability? How do you think that experience affects the child in both positive and negative ways? What did you learn in this Mom Enough show about ways you or others could help this child?   To learn more about Pediatric Home Service’s Sibling Support program, click here. To view a brief video a parent discussing her child's experience with Sibling Support, click here. For Pediatric Home Service’s blog, click here. For our ME interview with Dr. Roy Maynard of PHS, click here.

Neuroscience research has led to a new understanding of how early childhood experience, especially parent-child attachment, affects neural connections in our brain, in turn shaping the way we think, feel and behave in later relationships and situations. But, as UCLA psychiatrist Dan Siegel discusses with Marti & Erin, our “mind” is more than our “brain,” and remembering and reflecting on our own childhood experiences can help us build new neural pathways and new ways of behaving at any age. Get ready to take notes as you listen to this deep and important discussion of how reflective parenting can help us achieve greater well-being for ourselves and our children.   In this Mom Enough discussion of the mind, Dr. Dan Siegel and Marti talk about the importance of reflecting on “implicit” memories so that they can become “explicit” and can be integrated into your understanding of how you respond to parenting challenges. When have you experienced an intense emotional reaction to your child’s behavior in a way that probably was fueled by some memory from your own childhood? What could you do differently the next time those emotions start to bubble up in a situation with your child?   For more about Mind, click here. For Dr. Siegel's blog, click here.

Choosing a preschool for your child can feel like a daunting task, especially when there are so many options these days. But this week’s Mom Enough guest, Ashley Reubendale from St. David’s Center for Child & Family Development, brings very concrete advice on questions to ask about program model, teacher qualifications, discipline and how the program incorporates play and social-emotional learning. Ashley also emphasizes the importance of observing directly in the preschool, describing what to watch for in teacher-child interaction and the overall climate of the school.   What did you learn in this Mom Enough interview about things to ask or observe when choosing a preschool for your child? Thinking about your own child’s personality, strengths and needs, what other things would you want to know about a preschool before enrolling your child there?   For tips on social and emotional school readiness, click here. For 5 tips on promoting Reggio-inspired learning at home, click here. For 5 tips on helping your child be ready to succeed in school, click here. For 4 questions to ask when choosing a child care provider, click here.

Becoming a mother can be one of the most joyful periods in a woman’s life, but also one of the most difficult, thanks to sleeplessness, bodily changes, strain on partner relationships and, for many moms, depression and/or anxiety. But research shows that a strong support network is key to coping and moving toward a more even, positive path. Author Elizabeth Isadora Gold tells Marti & Erin her heartfelt story of the surprises she faced as a new mom and how she and her “Mommy Group” supported each other through (as her book’s subtitle says) “Freaking Out, Finding Friends and Surviving the Happiest Days of Her Life.” (By the way, Elizabeth has a daughter Clara, just like Erin!)   What were some of the surprises for you when you first became a parent? Did you experience post-partum depression and/or anxiety, as so many new moms do? As a new parent, where did you find (or didn’t you find?) support and encouragement, and how have you supported others?