Thriving at sixty

Do you want to thrive in this area?  What questions are you willing to ask so you don’t waste their time and Yours?  Do you know what your motives are?  Are you willing to be honest and straight with yourself and others about them.  Do you know what their motives are?  Are you willing to ask them? Do you know what your core values are?  Do their core values match yours? If they do you guys might have a chance if not don’t waste each others time? Do you want someone who is generous, loving, who you see is what you get?  Or do you want someone who evades your questions, is a smooth talker but has no substance? What are your habitual ways of being or patterns that might get in the way here of you thriving in this area?

Have you ever decided that you wanted to do something and someone tried to change your mind?  Did you ever get offended when they tried  changing your mind?  Have you allowed their ideas to change your mind or have you stuck to your guns and maybe missed out in allowing them to contribute to you? Have you ever wished you had let others help but you were too attached to being right, being angry.  You even believed you had the right to be angry because they were jerks with you before? Were they really jerks? Maybe your preconceived ideas stopped you allowing people to love you and contribute to you the way they wanted to express their love?

Do we misinterpret what is being said to us because we are triggered by past incidents and we like being right about things? Have you every got off a phone call hurt, angry and annoyed and tried to figure out what really happened in the conversation to set you off?  Do you know what your triggers are?  What causes you to react over and over. Do you believe you can choose how your day’s going regardless of your circumstances?  Do you let old automatic conversations get in the way of you having a great day?  Do you have great relationships with the people that are important to you? If not, why not?

Are you being right about how someone is doing you wrong or has done you wrong? Do you find being right in a relationship regardless of if you are right or not can get in the way of you having a loving relationship?  Do you find yourself arguing and fighting with the people you really care about?  What are you being right about.  Did you know you can be right or you can be loving and happy?  20 years from now will being right about something really matter?

Do you find yourself putting your significant other, your children, your friends, your co-workers before taking care of yourself?  Do you find you are saying yes to spending on someone else rather than yourself?  Do you try to please someone else at the expensive of your well being?  Do you buy the proper clothing and shoe wear you need to be comfortable and feel good about yourself or do you spend on the kids instead of you?  Do you feel guilty if you spend on yourself?

Do you complain about work, about your co workers, about your wife, your kids, not enough money?  Do you complain about having to work out to keep in shape, about having to be so strict about your food intake?  Do you let people annoy you?  Are you willing to learn new things?  Are you willing to create new solution.   Are you part of the problem?  Do you have good systems in place to exercise, to eat healthy.  Is complaining just a habit?

Do you believe You?  Do you ever feel like your work environment dictates how you feel?  Your wife, your husband, your kids, your circumstances ? Do you know happy people have problems, they may even have sh–ty circumstances. Do you believe you are a master of your destiny? Do you ever take things personal?

Have you ever experienced being mortified and thinking how can I live through this and years later you find out nobody really noticed or cared? Sometimes we loose loved ones.  We don’t ever have to forget them we are not designed to forget people.  Remembering, memories, grieving are all natural.  We may have our memories and then we create new memories and bring out the old ones when we need to.  Life keeps happening and sometimes the hurt lessons.  No we are not meant to stay stuck, so I do believe time heals almost everything

Do you walk into a room and get anxious because you worry about what people think of you?  Do you get yourself all tied in knots so you can’t think straight?  Do you say yes when you should be saying no because you want people to think well of you.  Do you stop doing things you want to do because you are worried about how you will look learning new things.?  Do you hold back sharing something about your self that you know could make a profound difference to the other person for fear they will judge you? Stop it, we can’t control what others think of us.  We need to believe in ourselves.  As long as we are doing the things we need to do then we need to just step out.  We can’t please everyone.  Sometimes we are not going to please our loved ones or our co-workers or friends.  Be true to oneself.

What legacy do you want to leave?  Do you have things from your past that keep rearing their ugly head?  Does that past keep effecting your now moments? I assert if there are areas of your life where you are not effective?   I would say their is a past there that is effecting you now and you are blind to it.   Regardless of your circumstances, sometimes terrible things and situations happen.  Sometimes it a small thing that you didn’t think effected you at all.  Do you want freedom and peace.  We need to deal with our past an get complete so we can create a new future worth living into..  Are you at peace with your past?  If not,  what do you need to do so you can be at peace?

Do u take life for granted?  Do you walk around in life not present to the miracles that are happening around you?  Are you so focused on what is wrong in life you don’t capture those magic moments right now, and now and now?  Do you take people place and things for granted.  You know in the end what assets you have don’t matter.  What matter is how rich your relationships are!  Do you capture moments as a gift?  Do you thank people in your life, even if you are paying them for the job?  Do you appreciate the gas server, waitress, hotel clerk, janitor, wife, husband, child, best friend or do you just expect and them to be a particular way?

Do you have a little voice in your head telling you things like you are not smart enough.  Do you believe that conversation is real?  It isn’t, you made that conversation up yourself when you were confronted and very young?  A breakthrough is something unpredictable, something that was not going to happen.  I suggest if there is no new action there will be no new result! Do you have unconscious habitual conversations that stop you from being effective in areas of life that are important to you?  I invite you to look at the context of those conversations.  I am suggesting that without shifting the context there will be predictable results.  

What is the meaning of Perception? What is the meaning of discernment?  Have you ever noticed when a news story comes over the social media and there are more than two people at the same event there as a lot of different views, some totally contracting others views?  Have ever wondered why that is?  Have you ever questioned whose view is accurate? Maybe all views are correct coming from the persons context.  What do you think? Maybe our actions are according to how we view things! ! Maybe shift your context and you shift your actions.  Maybe by shifting your context you can learn to effortless take new actions!

How are people left when they are around you?  How did you wake up this morning?  Do you buy into what your internal dialogue says?  Do you even know its your automatic dialogue or do you think its the truth?  Do you believe you can create your day regardless of your circumstances . Are you willing to learn new ways of being and acting so you can take new actions that possibly can create new results?          

Have you ever had so much happen in  life you just want to throw in the towel?  Have you ever had the experience that life keeps coming at you and you just say I don’t want to play anymore.  Well how do you handle adversity?  A chief put on three pots of water and put one full of potatoes, one eggs, and one ground coffee, he left them to boil for about 25 min.  When he came back the potatoes that went in hard are soft and weakened.  The eggs when peeled are hard .  The coffee grounds were altered and brought and interesting flavour a new experience.  When you go through adversity are you weakened like the potatoes?  hardened like the egg or do you come out with a new view a new way of looking at life?