The Rules of Acquisition: A Star Trek Deep Space Nine Podcast

Welcome Voyager’s "Richard [sic] Picardo", and Julian Bashir's parents! But Bashir… we gots opinions. Hugh’s issues do not reflect a “rejection of Gene’s vision.” He doesn’t like how it was implemented. A new kind of Special Man? “Wholeness”? A reflection on Bashir not being that great of a doctor. Bashir’s dad is a revelation. Leeta and Rom have a B plot though. Should Leeta just tell Rom how she feels and get it over with since he can’t?  Is the objectification of her in this a little… weird? James explains maybe the source of where he reads his innuendo? Bashir’s dad the chav. What are the trekonomics of getting an illegal procedure done "out of network" in a post scarcity Federation? Ohwaitaminute. Just how dumb was six year old Julian again? Have the writers never met children? How do we sit with the revelations in this episode after this watching? What about where these revelations lead? Yet again, we don't have any voicemails this week, but we will get to your calls! We want to hear from you! 917 408 3898 and support the show by telling your friends, or going to patreon.com/kickersofelves for more content!

Part two of Worf and Garak being awesome.Dukat: Still a jerk. Right over from the last ep. Is this a new episode or more of a continuation of one long episode. Lets talk about these titles.Why doesn’t the Dominion kill its prisoners?Other runabout questions we might not have answers for… yet. Nerds hate plotholes. Let’s rehash some Ziyal arguments from last episode. But Worf. Kitomer re-accords: Where’s president Joe Camel? Odo, also conspicuously absent.Chekov’s Breen, Romulans, and James has a type. But Worf. Best of Klingons, even with what he’s learned from the Federation. Even when him and Martok recite a Kanye tweet to praise Garak. Jem’Hadar and Klingons; White Trash and Donald Trump. Bashir gets a stembolt reference.The gangs all here, every power in the Alpha Quadrant. A couple small nerd corners. Is this a point where the show pivots to being something new? No voicemails this week either, but we still promise that we will make use of them so send em in! 917 408 3898let us know about your One Direction fic. And check out the Kickers of Elves patreon for all our other assorted opinions patreon.com/kickersofelves

The Dominion War approaches! Are we in the best "3 song run" across all the "albums" of DS9?Is there something different about Bashir? Oh boy, Ziyal: You look different.Wade and James have wildly different ideas about the nature of Garak and Ziyal’s relationship. The best Worf stuff… ever?Chekov’s Breen. Sisko has an idea for the wormhole Kira doesn’t like, should Dax have had something to say about it?The Dukat we knew all along. Garak and Tain come to terms. Does Wade like this better a childhood story than what we got with Worf?Not to switch properties, but let’s talk about that Leia costume.Closing with horrific internet memes. We get a little ahead and confused about what’s in this episode and the next.The dangers of explaining a characters past, i.e. the Wolverine Problem. No voicemails. But we have a proposition re: “hate money”  Support the show at patreon.com/kickersofelves And give us a call! Seriously we'll get back to your voicemails soon! 917 408 3898

Sisko tracks Michael Eddington down and Trekkers everywhere were divided. Our beloved Peter Allen Fields returns! Sisko is angry! Who breaks bad in this episode? The ethics of escalation.  Oh, the Victor Hugo. Should Star Trek hold their tongue before throwing shade at the writing of female characters? "Not enough!" A Civil War reference from James. No voicemails this week, but stick around til the end for some details on what might get James and Hugh to watch Season 2 of Discovery "My Favorite Mutiny" by The Coup Give us a call and let us know your thoughts! 917 408 3898 and check out the kickers of elves Patreon patereon.com/kickersofelves

Son of Odo? It's an episode all about parenthood. Odo discovers a little pile of goo and goes through all the feelings a humanoid can feel. Kira gives birth to a son of O'Brien, while her boyfriend gets a little jealous. A and B plot symmetry!   A tidbit blows our minds and bums us out. Odo has a bad back- A digression on mattresses. Bajoran birthing practices… are odd. GONG. in Voicemails (45:37) PlutoBurns is bored by The Ascent.  Were there more interesting stories missed in that story, perhaps a courtroom drama?  Roddenberry rules and storytelling discussed once again. What about Dogma 95? Give us a call and tell us your own feelings 917 408 3898  And support the show at patreon.com/kickersofelves

Bryan Fuller makes his Star Trek debut. With a riff on the Agatha Christie novel And Then There Were None, previously titled Ten Little Indians, previously titled something even more Problematic Kira's friends are being murdered, but by who?“The Prophets will take care of him”… Will they?Worf is brings the light fun to the episode for once. He knows many things.Where’s Shakaar while folks from the Shakaar resistance are being killed?Sisko ain’t got patience for Worf.Just how much technical know how does it take to press shirts for Cardassia?Silence of the Lamb-ing was very fashionable at the time. Are these the best of the doldrums of any season of DS9 to date? Voicemails (43:30) Stefan calls to tell us about an episode near universally derided bye everyone but Hugh and James, and Wade has to reiterate just why he thinks that Worf scene on Risa was so bad. Have your own Risa or Worf opinions? Give us a call! 917 408 3898 and if you want to support the show and hear our thoughts on other scifi and television, check out the Kickers of Elves patreon  patreon.com/kickersofelves

Sisko gets high. Or is that a simplification of a more complicated story and issues? Join us for some arguing about Starfleet's actions when faced with god-aliens.  Sisko is "touched by the prophets" and discovers a secret city, and a lot of actually important stuff arguably happens in this DS9 episode.New uniforms! Is Bajor finally joining the Federation?“Optics of the admiral”Kai Ratched returns and has a turning point of her own.Oh and Kasidy returns from the clink. But of course the episode has to end with some classic Star Trek "right to die" questions. in voicemails (45:07) John from PA gets us talking about Star Wars without even asking you to contribute to our patreon. Alex from Minneapolis sets the record straight about Ray Wise's Star Trek appearance. And somehow we get talking about kratom? Give us your calls!  917 408 3898 and check out that patreon at patreon.com/kickersofelves

Odd couplings! Odo and Quark crash land on a dump of a planet and nearly die climbing a mountain. But first Nog returns! We cover the B plot and ask the question: is Jake Sisko the Rory Gilmore of DS9?   What is Nog doing back? Does Starfleet send away their unwanted cadets?   James has some rap references to make and TOS references to point out.   Odo’s porn habits.  Talk to us about Vulcan Love Slave.   Love and hate. Quark and Odo style.   But what if Odo had a different kind of story bout being humanoid?   Voicemails (39:00):   Kate on "...Nor battle to the strong."   Tom from Cleveland has some thoughts on "Let He Who is Without Sin..." Expect more calls about Risa going forward!

Terok Nor? James finds it a Terok Bore.   On the way back from an occupation convention Odo, Sisko, Dax, and Garak all get Quantum Leaped back 9 years to before Odo was chief of security, and Kurtwood Smith held sway.  Things start getting all wibbly wobbledy with the timeline and reality and just what exactly is going on here?   We're divided on the quality of this one, even if we aver that season 5 is still going strong overall.   Hold on after the rewatch meter IMDB ratings, where we once again ask the question, "How would we fix this?"   (47:10) We have the return of your voicemails!   These are all on Trials and Tribble-ations, and for the sensitive among you, there may have some Discovery talk: Kristin on Discovery and trials.  We talk about our formative days watching TAS, the Monkees and Lancelot Link, secret chimp.  Love of the lore and execution.  Greg from NC has the nerd corner solution to our McCoy scene discussion.  BuckyWTGoodHair on Disco’s appeal to nostalgia.  Make the show that you want to see.   And we end with American Gods, and the kind of thing you may have come to expect from us.   Send your complaints to: 917 408 3898   If you want to support us, check out the Kickers of Elves Patreon   patreon.com/kickersofelves

Put on your spandex aerobics outfits. We're going to Risa! Worf is the worst boyfriend. Why is Dax with him again? Is this… waitaminute... a good episode? Bild Lilli horgons. Is Risa a planet of sex workers? Planet Vegas? Without Capitalism? Anarchist Vegas? Vanessa Williams guest stars as the woman who killed Curzon. Now. Let us objectify Bashir:  A different bodytype for a different era. Leeta makes Quark and Julian do a double take (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hCOSejS1SSY) Nog and Ted Cruz’s internet habits. Gotta be a secure man to be with Dax. That Worf scene. We have opinions. Things suddenly get serious, but ok not that serious.    Sorry for the lack of Voicemails again this week. We got way too excited talking about the time Dave Mathews guest starred in an episode of House.  But give us your calls! We promise we want to hear them. 917 408 3898 And support Kickers of Elves on patreon at patreon.com/kickersofelves

Gotta go back in time.No, not to our new Fatty Arbuckle-cast. Back to the Enterprise! The "first" one.The DS9 crew gets to revisit everyone's favorite era to revist, judging from recent TV and movies. With the magic of developing technology and effects.Lets get some Discovery thoughts out early.  Except we'll get back to that over and over again.  There's some spoilers if you haven't had some of Star Trek Discovery's obvious surprises spoiled for you.We reeeally nerd corner the difference between Discovery and Tribble Trouble Fake-Klingons.  How much do we know about our great grandmothers? Either way, we don’t feel about them the way Bashir does about his.  Did Emony Dax Harold and Maude McCoy at Ole Miss?Leaning in to the fan service. Easter Egging vs Embodying.  Greatest American Hero? Is that our next podcast? [NO]Who are reboot shows catering to?  Overall, we enjoyed this "Opposite of the Jake in a hole with a dying man screaming at him" episode. No voicemails this week, as we really overdid the nerd-cornering in this episode. We still want to hear from you though! Promise we'll get back to voicemails soon. 917 408 3898 And of course you can always support us on Patreon at Patreon.com/kickersofelves

Oh great. Another body possession trope? Why waitaminute, we loved this one!  Keiko O'Brien isn't herself, and Miles has to follow instructions lest the ghost possessing her does throws her off a ledge or nosebleeds her to death.  Just how well does this episode turn up the heat to boil the frog that is a stressed out Irishman?Pah wraiths. Huh. First we’ve heard of those.  Plust, a B plot that interacts: Rom, the smartest idiot in the room.Paradise Lost? The Possesion clause in Federation Law. We go long this week so no voicemails. We still want to hear from you though! 917 408 3898 and support the podcast and all the other podcasts we do by being a patron! patreon.com/kickersofelves

Red Badge of Courage on the Western Front.Jake and Bashir get stuck behind enemy lines and Jake realizes maybe he's not the bravest guy. This episode hits a lot of our buttons. When exactly did we start enjoying Dax this much? Sisko has some fatherhood scenes; what do the father's on the podcast think? Civil war knowledge gets trotted out.  Vietnam. Lots to cover in this episode! In voicemails (47:05):  Season 4 White Albums! From Eric, Stefan, and Adam. Give us yours, or let us know what you think about DS9 917 408 3898 And to support the show check out the Kickers of Elves Patreon (patreon.com/kickersofelves)

Lookin for love. A whole lotta love in this one. Of various sorts. Things that have been building up for many episodes of Star Trek: Deep Space Nine come to a head. Grilka from House of Quark returns. Horniness abounds. James' favorite B plot. Hugh is uncomfortable. Wade wrote down a lot of Klingon but contains himself. Farce fulfilled finally. Science fiction full circle with Cyrano. Of course we get into certain sexual anatomy questions… The Sam and Diane Issue. The return of Voicemails! (59:13) Paul from Ireland has more thoughts on the Maquis.

Stuck on a planet with casualties.A classic Trek morality play?It's a return to dealing with the Dominion when Sisko and an away team find a crashed Jem Hadar ship.  A new Vorta emerges.  Who is Panthro's sister? Are the best episodes of Deep Space Nine on the station or off of it?Forgive us for the lack of voicemails this week. Give us call if you're frustrated with us!917 408 3898 and if you want to support the show and see some of what has kept us so busy check out the kickers of elves Patreon and Much A-Dune About Nothing at patreon.com/kickersofelves