Lou Reads the Internet for YOU! show

Lou Reads the Internet for YOU!

Summary: Lou goes to places you never even wanted to know existed on the internet and returns with a podcast you can't stop listening to. All the posts he reads are real even if you don't want to believe it! Sometimes disturbing, sometimes enlightening but always fun to listen to. Some examples of places Lou has gone are a forum for heroin addicts where junkies share their tips on how to negotiate the world of heroin for new junkies, a different forum where people share their most awkward sexual encounters and yet another forum where teenagers who believe they are vampires tell of the time they discovered their true-selves. The internet changes everyday and Lou is there looking for the craziest and most interesting stuff to read about. Check it out today!

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  • Artist: King Lou Fernandez
  • Copyright: Copyright © King Lou Fernandez, 2009-Present

Podcasts:

 Lou Reads 182 – Deep in the Pits of Armpit-Fetish.com | File Type: audio/mpeg | Duration: 46:50

Greetings, friends and those interested in the more obscure parts of the internet. This months episode is a visit to the fabulously spam-destroyed pages of Artpit-Fetish.com. This site was once the home of a small number of folks that really liked armpits more than most people (if people think about armpits at all.) Now, sadly, the forums are almost 99% spambots with the occasional lonely armpit lover trying to call out in the void… According to some guy in this episode, the following video sparked a life long obsession about masturbating to men’s armpits. See if you can spot any particularly erotic pits! Specifically, Kenny Chesney’s wild underarm action is what drove the gentleman in question wild. Please, try to control your own feverish self-pleasure urges when watching it!

 Lou Read Ep181 Bonus – Learn Prostate Massage Again and Again! | File Type: audio/mpeg | Duration: 29:15

Are you feeling the protrusion yet? Please enjoy this episode about milking your prostate. If you don’t know how to milk your prostate by the end of this episode then you just aren’t trying very hard… I miss Prince, too… amzn_assoc_placement = "adunit0"; amzn_assoc_search_bar = "true"; amzn_assoc_tracking_id = "loureads-post-20"; amzn_assoc_search_bar_position = "bottom"; amzn_assoc_ad_mode = "search"; amzn_assoc_ad_type = "smart"; amzn_assoc_marketplace = "amazon"; amzn_assoc_region = "US"; amzn_assoc_title = "Shop Related Products!"; amzn_assoc_default_search_phrase = "Prostate Massage"; amzn_assoc_default_category = "All"; amzn_assoc_linkid = "931d84821e46f2c438103fe1adf794ca";

 Lou Reads ep 181 – The Spicy Talk Forums | File Type: audio/mpeg | Duration: 1:01:22

As a married man who hates breasts I could not get down with this forum. I mean, who likes breasts? Especially breasts full of milk that are being shared with lots of grown dudes and ladies looking for some kind of Adult Nursing Relationship? Oh right, the people who used to hang out at Spicy Talk Forums! Good night, sweet cowboy… Ok, I was lying. I don’t really hate breasts. Please don’t send me hate mail and pictures of your breasts to let me know how angry you all are at me. Reading this forum was fairly funny because of how almost every thread somehow got around to talking about adult breastfeeding… In the end I decided to just double down on all the ANR talk and accept the concept that there are a lot of people out there who think about drinking mothers milk ALL THE TIME… I hope you enjoy it! amzn_assoc_placement = "adunit0"; amzn_assoc_tracking_id = "coups-n-deals-20"; amzn_assoc_ad_mode = "manual"; amzn_assoc_ad_type = "smart"; amzn_assoc_marketplace = "amazon"; amzn_assoc_region = "US"; amzn_assoc_linkid = "0d8d010531adc8f63bc87fdf218107ae"; amzn_assoc_asins = "B00Q1YQZ76,B01II4MI5O,0692197044,B07DSJWNYG"; amzn_assoc_search_bar = "true"; amzn_assoc_title = "My Amazon Picks"; I am planning a small bit of bonus content in a week. Keep your ears posted!

 Lou Reads ep 180: Do you have the stomach to endure the Big Guts Forum? | File Type: audio/mpeg | Duration: 50:32

I think we can all agree that everyone loves that feeling when you go to try on some clothes and realize that we’ve gotten too fat to fit into then. I think “super proud, content and certain that we’re living our best life” is probably the best way to describe that universal feeling that we all get when all that cramming of massive amounts of high calorie food pays off. Just like society teaches us. Gain weight. Gain status. This forum for Lovers of Big Guts is still live on the internet but sadly the community of fat tummy loving guys who used to hang out there appear to have moved on. For now, we can still visit the forums to explore this record of their obsession with and enjoyment of overeating and gaining weight. This isn’t unlike the forums of Fantasy Feeder – A Forum For Fat Ladies and The Guys Who Feed Them. However, where that community focuses on the codependent relationship of feeder and eater, Big Guts focuses mainly on men and their own personal obsession with being overweight. I didn’t actually join this forum so I wasn’t able to see picture in that part of the forum. The avatars I saw in the thread featured a fair amount of naked or near-naked guys with big bellies. I guess what better way to really show off your whole belly? Wherever these men have moved on to you can be certain that most of them are still out there eating too much and rubbing their full bellies with a smile. Also, they probably all have diabetes, but hey… And remember, sometimes that beer belly you’re so proud of just might be a giant 77 pound tumor. amzn_assoc_placement = "adunit0"; amzn_assoc_search_bar = "true"; amzn_assoc_tracking_id = "loureads-post-20"; amzn_assoc_search_bar_position = "bottom"; amzn_assoc_ad_mode = "search"; amzn_assoc_ad_type = "smart"; amzn_assoc_marketplace = "amazon"; amzn_assoc_region = "US"; amzn_assoc_title = "Shop Related Products!"; amzn_assoc_default_search_phrase = "Fat Guys"; amzn_assoc_default_category = "All"; amzn_assoc_linkid = "931d84821e46f2c438103fe1adf794ca";

 Lou Reads ep 179 – The Visit Beyond the Vail of Afterlife Forums | File Type: audio/mpeg | Duration: 1:15:18

What happens to us when we die? What happens to us before we are born? Somehow the people at this forum know, with certainty, that everything is going to be alright. Especially after you die. This is truly amazing considering I can barely figure out what is happening to me right now, this very second! I am fairly certain that at some point during this episode you will say out loud, “What? Wait… what?” That’s because there is more than a little complete nonsense being discussed here. Yes, I am a doubter. This much is clear! I’m also concerned with so many of the people on this site considering suicide in order to get to this next level of experience! If you’re considering suicide please call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255. Don’t kill yourself because you read on an online forum that the next life is SOOO MUCH BETTER! Amazingly irresponsible… Oh, also the whole “I remember as a baby I was thinking….” thing is so much insane bullshit… I can’t even… A BABY!… sigh… As promised, here is your unassailable proof of the existence of the life after death. A lawyer who wrote a whole bunch of nonsense about the afterlife! amzn_assoc_placement = "adunit0"; amzn_assoc_search_bar = "true"; amzn_assoc_tracking_id = "loureads-post-20"; amzn_assoc_search_bar_position = "bottom"; amzn_assoc_ad_mode = "search"; amzn_assoc_ad_type = "smart"; amzn_assoc_marketplace = "amazon"; amzn_assoc_region = "US"; amzn_assoc_title = "Shop Related Products!"; amzn_assoc_default_search_phrase = "The Afterlife"; amzn_assoc_default_category = "All"; amzn_assoc_linkid = "931d84821e46f2c438103fe1adf794ca";

 Lou Reads episode 178 – The Joys of Smoking Spice and K2 from Erowid! | File Type: audio/mpeg | Duration: 59:40

Hey, I know that drug laws are lame and whatever, but what if I told you that you could get super high… legally! What if I told you that there was this drug that was pretty much like marijuana but was totally legal. What if I told you that you’ll have no idea what the Hell you’re smoking because the chemicals keep changing to stay ahead of the drug laws. And what if I told you that it used to be a relatively well known synthetic cannabinoid 10 years ago but was now a complete crap shoot of junk being made in clandestine Chinese laboratories! What if I told you that no matter how you warn people they will keep smoking this quasi-legal weed because it’s really easy to buy despite the fact that it can totally make you lose your shit! Alright, then! Well, take a hit of this super sweet incense blend, homie! Let’s start puking! In this episode I’ll be reading from the Erowid experience vaults. These are anecdotal stories of drug use connected to Erowid’s super informational database about almost every drug. If you’re ever considering doing an illicit or even prescribed drug consider going to Erowid and checking out what it has to say about the compound before you try it. Especially if the drug has a potential for abuse! You’ll be glad you did! Also, please encourage the legalization of marijuana globally because it should be easier to buy than this Spice garbage… If you are actually thinking about buying K2/Spice/Whatever other name this crap goes by please watch these videos. This drug can only be enjoyed in small amounts but should probably be avoided at all costs. I mean, unless you like screaming in the street, naked. Then go ahead. Also, if you enjoy drug trips and safe access to a wealth of drug info, consider supporting EROWID! amzn_assoc_placement = "adunit0"; amzn_assoc_search_bar = "true"; amzn_assoc_tracking_id = "loureads-post-20"; amzn_assoc_search_bar_position = "bottom"; amzn_assoc_ad_mode = "search"; amzn_assoc_ad_type = "smart"; amzn_assoc_marketplace = "amazon"; amzn_assoc_region = "US"; amzn_assoc_title = "Shop Related Products!"; amzn_assoc_default_search_phrase = "bad drug trip"; amzn_assoc_default_category = "All"; amzn_assoc_linkid = "931d84821e46f2c438103fe1adf794ca";

 Lou Reads ep177 Tales of Escorts First Clients from Reddit | File Type: audio/mpeg | Duration: 50:20

Hey, I know we just has sex and that I paid you for that sex because you’re an escort. But, I really feel that in this 10 minute encounter that we’ve bonded and I’d really like to see you again. And, also have sex with you again for money. But, maybe you’ll kind of be into me next time a little and give me a discount and eventually you’ll see that, although we met via an exchange of sex for cash, that I’m a super nice guy! And maybe you’ll want to date me and have sex with me for free because we’ll be dating! Wouldn’t that be awesome?! Oh, but don’t tell my wife… The world of escorting appears to be less awful from the world of street sex workers. However, every sex worker who trades sex for cash has to have a first time that they did it. That’s what is happening this episode of Lou Reads. I hope you enjoy hearing these stories! amzn_assoc_placement = "adunit0"; amzn_assoc_search_bar = "true"; amzn_assoc_tracking_id = "loureads-post-20"; amzn_assoc_search_bar_position = "bottom"; amzn_assoc_ad_mode = "search"; amzn_assoc_ad_type = "smart"; amzn_assoc_marketplace = "amazon"; amzn_assoc_region = "US"; amzn_assoc_title = "Shop Related Products!"; amzn_assoc_default_search_phrase = "How to be a sex escort"; amzn_assoc_default_category = "All"; amzn_assoc_linkid = "931d84821e46f2c438103fe1adf794ca";

 Lou Reads ep176 – Dark Secrets Shared from Reddit | File Type: audio/mpeg | Duration: 51:20

What’s that now? You want me to share some of my darkest secrets with the internet? Well, gee… I mean, I’ve seen and done some terrible things in my life but I’m not sure I want to post them on THE INTERNET… Oh, you think I should make a throwaway account in order to freely share the darkest of the dark? Well… Okay! This episode of Lou Reads is your basic confessions post. Always a good time to hear what people feel are the dark secrets in their lives. Of course, some of these secrets are truly awful and as I mention at the end of the episode if you’re considering killing yourself please consider call the National Suicide Prevention hotline at 1-800-273-8255. If you’re just some weird guy who like’s masturbating at work or once considered boning your cousin then just keep on being yourself, you weirdo. Also, CLICK HERE TO BE TAKEN TO THE SHIRTS! amzn_assoc_placement = "adunit0"; amzn_assoc_search_bar = "true"; amzn_assoc_tracking_id = "loureads-post-20"; amzn_assoc_search_bar_position = "bottom"; amzn_assoc_ad_mode = "search"; amzn_assoc_ad_type = "smart"; amzn_assoc_marketplace = "amazon"; amzn_assoc_region = "US"; amzn_assoc_title = "Shop Related Products!"; amzn_assoc_default_search_phrase = "Dark Secrets"; amzn_assoc_default_category = "All"; amzn_assoc_linkid = "931d84821e46f2c438103fe1adf794ca";

 Lou Reads ep175: The parasite infested forums of The Cure Zone | File Type: audio/mpeg | Duration: 50:14

You know that feeling you get when the world is telling you that you should take anti-psychotic medicine to deal with the invisible parasites you’re being plagued by? And you know the feeling you get when you tell the doctors you don’t want to take the medicine because it will just make the parasites sleepy but not actually kill them. And you know that feeling when you decided to drink your urine to help with your self diagnosed diseases? Wait, you don’t relate to any of these feelings? Well you must not be a member of the forums of Cure Zone. Cure Zone is a forum for people who are battling a lot of problems. Is it all in their minds? Is society mocking their problems? Do they really have multiple types of parasites attacking them in a way that normal science cannot detect? Well, from reading all these posts I’d have to say… yeah… It’s all in their minds. But that doesn’t stop it from being all too real and troubling for the poor folks who post here. I hope that you’ll enjoy this episode and that if you do start to feel like maybe you’ve got Morgellons or some other kind of skin parasite maybe take your doctors advice and try the antipsychotics. Also, if you have any serious disease, please realize that drinking your urine as a cure seems like a desperation thing and not a real solution to your problems. But please, take my opinion on this as simply that. I’m just a simple reader of the Internet who hasn’t rubbed any of my own urine on my body. What do I know? amzn_assoc_placement = "adunit0"; amzn_assoc_search_bar = "true"; amzn_assoc_tracking_id = "loureads-post-20"; amzn_assoc_search_bar_position = "bottom"; amzn_assoc_ad_mode = "search"; amzn_assoc_ad_type = "smart"; amzn_assoc_marketplace = "amazon"; amzn_assoc_region = "US"; amzn_assoc_title = "Shop Related Products!"; amzn_assoc_default_search_phrase = "Urine Therapy"; amzn_assoc_default_category = "All"; amzn_assoc_linkid = "931d84821e46f2c438103fe1adf794ca";

 Lou Reads ep 174 – The Forums of Prison Talk | File Type: audio/mpeg | Duration: 59:00

Have you considered marrying a man who you’ve only known through a pen pal connection? In this age of swiping right or left to instantly connect with someone, you can still find some people who are meeting people like it’s 1980 or something! Prison Talk is a forum for the loved ones of people who are somewhere within the prison system of the United States. It’s a support group for those looking to commiserate with others in the same misery boat. This episode is a departure from the typical grossness and stupidity that I sometimes deal in. There is a lot of head scratching behavior on there, to be sure. But it’s a small glimpse into the world of those, mainly women, who are dealing with a life where revolving door incarceration is the norm. There is no guarantee that they’ll ever actually meet the people they are writing to in person. Or worse that if they do get out of prison there is the chance that they aren’t who they say they are… I hope you enjoy it. Also, CLICK HERE TO BE TAKEN TO THE SHIRTS! amzn_assoc_placement = "adunit0"; amzn_assoc_search_bar = "true"; amzn_assoc_tracking_id = "loureads-post-20"; amzn_assoc_search_bar_position = "bottom"; amzn_assoc_ad_mode = "search"; amzn_assoc_ad_type = "smart"; amzn_assoc_marketplace = "amazon"; amzn_assoc_region = "US"; amzn_assoc_title = "Shop Related Products!"; amzn_assoc_default_search_phrase = "Prison Love"; amzn_assoc_default_category = "All"; amzn_assoc_linkid = "931d84821e46f2c438103fe1adf794ca";

 Lou Reads ep173 – SOLO SUCK FORUMS | File Type: audio/mpeg | Duration: 1:09:29

I’m not doing myself any favors by reading from the forums of Solo Suck. I knew it would be tough to read and yet, I persisted. Just like Elizabeth Warren! Except instead of standing up to the GOP I stood up to my own stomach and challenged it with some seriously nauseating content. Now, like many forums I read, this forum is just another example of people who aren’t hurting anyone engaging in a sex hobby they feel passionate about. However, it’s hard not to be grossed out by this act that is so taboo and generally frowned on. Of course there is some modicum (no pun intended) of hypocrisy for being grossed out in a world where pornography is all about women & men being the semen targets. However, the act of self-sucking & the raising cum to a fetishized sacrement… well, I personally had some trouble with queasiness reading it. I hope that you’ll enjoy this episode. I know it may be difficult and in some ways mentally damaging but… Well, I hope you enjoy it if you can keep your food down… amzn_assoc_placement = "adunit0"; amzn_assoc_search_bar = "true"; amzn_assoc_tracking_id = "loureads-post-20"; amzn_assoc_search_bar_position = "bottom"; amzn_assoc_ad_mode = "search"; amzn_assoc_ad_type = "smart"; amzn_assoc_marketplace = "amazon"; amzn_assoc_region = "US"; amzn_assoc_title = "Shop Related Products!"; amzn_assoc_default_search_phrase = "autofellatio"; amzn_assoc_default_category = "All"; amzn_assoc_linkid = "931d84821e46f2c438103fe1adf794ca";

 Lou Reads ep 172 – Men Wear Bras – A Support Forum | File Type: audio/mpeg | Duration: 58:09

Hey can you help me with the clasp on this thing? I was so easy to undo when it was on a lady. Seriously, I was a one-hand, no-look, two-finger bra-undo-er. But now that it’s on my body I’m having a hell of a time getting this bra off! Luckily the fellas over at Men Wear Bras is a community of happy to help men who, do in fact, wear bras. So, yeah, guys wearing bras. Crossdressing is nothing new but it is rare that one hears from the dudes who are out there dealing with their desires to wear over-the-shoulder-boulder-holders. I’m still not sure why the domain is so very weird but I guess it does cut down on unwanted attention. Anyway, I hope you enjoy it! Thanks for listening! amzn_assoc_placement = "adunit0"; amzn_assoc_search_bar = "true"; amzn_assoc_tracking_id = "loureads-post-20"; amzn_assoc_search_bar_position = "bottom"; amzn_assoc_ad_mode = "search"; amzn_assoc_ad_type = "smart"; amzn_assoc_marketplace = "amazon"; amzn_assoc_region = "US"; amzn_assoc_title = "Shop Related Products!"; amzn_assoc_default_search_phrase = "Male Bra"; amzn_assoc_default_category = "All"; amzn_assoc_linkid = "931d84821e46f2c438103fe1adf794ca";

 Lou Reads ep 171 – The Human Santapede – Part 2 | File Type: audio/mpeg | Duration: 1:32:37

Here it is! The not so long, but still long awaited part two & conclusion to the harrowing novel The Human Santapede!.” I hope you enjoy finishing off this particularly silly bit of reading. I must admit that although a lot of the book was really dumb & trite, by the end I found myself not hating it as much I had been originally. Part of that may have been relief that I knew it was coming to and end but whatever. Thanks for listening! Be sure to subscribe & rate on whatever pod-source you use! Also, if you want shirts the store is still open until January 23rd. HURRY! Lastly! If you want to watch the unedited live video of this reading then by all means please enjoy! Be sure to subscribe to see when I’m live again! Watch Lou Reads the Internet for YOU! – The Human Santapede from loureads on www.twitch.tv amzn_assoc_placement = "adunit0"; amzn_assoc_search_bar = "true"; amzn_assoc_tracking_id = "loureads-post-20"; amzn_assoc_search_bar_position = "bottom"; amzn_assoc_ad_mode = "search"; amzn_assoc_ad_type = "smart"; amzn_assoc_marketplace = "amazon"; amzn_assoc_region = "US"; amzn_assoc_title = "Shop Related Products"; amzn_assoc_default_search_phrase = "Santapede"; amzn_assoc_default_category = "All"; amzn_assoc_linkid = "931d84821e46f2c438103fe1adf794ca"; (adsbygoogle = window.adsbygoogle || []).push({});

 Lou Reads ep 170 – Meet Fighters: A One Stop Shop for Boxing, Wrestling & Boner Lovers | File Type: audio/mpeg | Duration: 53:01

Hey there! I was just thinking about you! Oh, I was just thinking that you should come over, have a couple of drinks and then, I don’t know, take off your clothes and wrestle me to see who gives who a blowjob. You know, just normal guy stuff. Where’d I learn about this? Oh, MeetFighters.com of course! It’s a great place to go and talk about how horny fighting makes you. I mean me. But maybe you? No? Okay… Well… thanks for dropping off my mail. So… I will admit to having been a boxing fan at some point in my life. However, I have to clarify that not once during my watching dudes beat the shit out of each other for money did I ever get an erection. Well, the same can’t be said for many of the men found on Meet Fighters. These men love fighting and being naked and maybe even… just maybe… forcing the loser of their own fights to perform sexual acts. Sound like something you’d like to do? Well then by all means go ahead and check out the site. Not your bag? Well then enjoy listening to the odd topics discussed in this episode of Lou Reads! By the way, the t-shirt store is open again for another brief window! Get yourself a Lou Reads T-Shirt today! amzn_assoc_placement = "adunit0"; amzn_assoc_search_bar = "true"; amzn_assoc_tracking_id = "loureads-post-20"; amzn_assoc_search_bar_position = "bottom"; amzn_assoc_ad_mode = "search"; amzn_assoc_ad_type = "smart"; amzn_assoc_marketplace = "amazon"; amzn_assoc_region = "US"; amzn_assoc_title = "Shop Related Products"; amzn_assoc_default_search_phrase = "Erotic boxing"; amzn_assoc_default_category = "All"; amzn_assoc_linkid = "931d84821e46f2c438103fe1adf794ca"; (adsbygoogle = window.adsbygoogle || []).push({});

 Lou Reads ep 169 – The Human Santapede – Part 1 | File Type: audio/mpeg | Duration: 1:31:42

Happy holidays! It’s taken forever but just two days ago I did a stream of myself reading from The Human Santapede on Twitch. I made it all the way to chapter 16 before I tapped out. So please enjoy this stupid reading I did! I just finished recording the second half of the book tonight so look for that in 2018! Just a warning, this is very long! It’s very stupid but I enjoyed reading it over the two days. You can watch the live reading here if you want to watch it with all my fuck ups & asides. Watch Alternate Side Talking with King Lou from loureads on www.twitch.tv HAPPY NEW YEAR! amzn_assoc_placement = "adunit0"; amzn_assoc_search_bar = "true"; amzn_assoc_tracking_id = "loureads-post-20"; amzn_assoc_search_bar_position = "bottom"; amzn_assoc_ad_mode = "search"; amzn_assoc_ad_type = "smart"; amzn_assoc_marketplace = "amazon"; amzn_assoc_region = "US"; amzn_assoc_title = "Shop Related Products"; amzn_assoc_default_search_phrase = "Adam Millard"; amzn_assoc_default_category = "All"; amzn_assoc_linkid = "931d84821e46f2c438103fe1adf794ca"; (adsbygoogle = window.adsbygoogle || []).push({});

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