Lou Reads the Internet for YOU!

You know how sometimes you buy a piece of jewelry from an antique store and you can just feel that there is an energy trapped inside? Or when you use a Ouija board that you’re pretty sure may be bringing demons over from the other side into you home? Or you know that feeling you get when you’re pretty sure you’re a tantric vampire? Oh right, you don’t get those because you’re a rational person who doesn’t hang out at the Talk Paranormal forums. Actually, Talk Paranormal is an interesting site with a lot of users dumping a healthy amount of skepticism on each other on a regular basis. All the while encouraging people to chat about their interest in the supernatural and other absurdities. I hope you enjoy it. It’s a long one! Hey there, thanks a ton for listening to Lou Reads the Internet for YOU! I truly hope you enjoy listening to it as much as I enjoy recording & laboriously editing each one. So, I say again, thank you from the bottom of my internet weakened heart. Keep listening!

So you have this craving. I know you think it was to get a new episode of this podcast. But what if it was the craving to get suddenly eaten by a tiger’s dick? Or maybe to get swallowed live and live in a giant’s tummy? Well, if that was your craving then not only am I a mind reader but I’m also a vore forum reader. And as you may have guessed, that will be this episode’s subject. Don’t know what VORE is? Well, now you do! VORE Anyway, I hope you enjoy this episode. As I hope you enjoy every single episode… I know. It’s too much to ask…

Heroin! Opiates! We love them! Who doesn’t?! We all love them equally, too. Well, maybe some people love them a little more than others. If you’re the kind of person who loves them so much that you throw your life away to do them all the time you… well, you’ve put yourself in a bit of a pickle, sonny. But where do you go to talk to people if you’ve decided that a life of occasional bliss and more than occasional constant craving is the thing for you? Why the forums of Opiophile.com of course. Opiophile is a safe haven for users, abusers & survivors of the dope game where they can come together and discuss everything from their local drug scene, harm reduction and the day to day issues of being a slave to the poppy in it’s numerous forms. Many forums have sections dedicated to heroin and the like but Opiophile is pretty much the only forum I know dedicated to opiates and once again proved to be a very interesting and informative read. I hope you enjoy it. Other Heroin related sites you may find interesting. DequinxyJinxie (RIP) – Heroin Glassine Bag Art & Product Review That Guy’s on Heroin – Street reports and unflattering photos of people nodding (or worse) in public. Focused mainly on junies in Baltimore but also takes submissions from around the world. HBO’s documentary – Black Tar Heroin: The Dark End of the Street

I hope you enjoy this lighter fare as once again we delve into Reddit. Won’t you enjoy this selection of tales of people being treated poorly by jerks while they do their jobs.

How do you cope with your day to day struggles? Do you call your mom to vent or maybe see a psychiatrist? Or do instead slowly become convinced you are having a relationship with a fictional character? That is what is happening on the pages of the forum known as My Little Waifu. I won’t even try to explain what I read this time around. It doesn’t make any sense and explaining it requires navigating several different strata of super nerdy nonsense. Just listen… It’s still won’t make any sense but whatever. Terms used in this episode that may require explanation: 1) Waifu 2) Brony 3) Weeabo 4) Clop 5) Ship And many more…. Please enjoy the podcast & this wonderful selection of Japanese body pillows for you to consider marrying in the future.

Hey man, can you spare any change? Spare anything? Even a smile helps. Also a lot of drugs to help me forget I beg for a living and sleep on the streets would help more than a smile. I’m just being honest. So this episode is about the worldful world of gutterpunks, crusties, hobos, bums or whatever you want to call this nations wandering house-less people. It is amazing, and yet unsurprising, that the homeless have such ready access to the site known as Squat The Planet. But just because they are roaming the world rudderless doesn’t mean they don’t want to have a place to have stupid discussions and share their best criminal practices! Won’t you please enjoy this sampling of nonsense from the pages of StP.

Look, I love porn. I am a man. I have a sad addiction to watching people who are better at sex than me go at it for unrealistic lengths of time. I love to be reminded of the average to subaverageness of my man parts and that my testicles don’t contain massive amounts of semen (aka pina colada mix). Thats why I go the forums at BrazzerForum.com to complain and compliment my favorite porn stars! Or, I would if I was one of the people who are actually registered on there. Sadly, I am not so obsessed with the world of pornography to know who the people I read about were (for the most part.) Luckily for us the guys and gals who do hang out at Brazzers Forum feel perfectly at home chatting about their favorite porn moments. I do admire the actors availability to the people posting there. It’s kind of sweet thinking about a porn star reading a fans email about how awesome he is at fucking and the porn star writing back,  “Aw shucks. Thanks little guy. I’m glad I made your day. Keep jerkin’ it to the video of my strangely massive dong. Yours truely, XXX INSERT NAME HERE XXX.” Enjoy the show!

This episode takes a peek into the world of role playing gamers and the creepy players they occasionally run into. That image joke will make more sense if you listen to the episode. Also, don’t play Tomb of Horrors. Even if you win you’ll probably die in the end.

Ah, the shame of being a virgin. That awful secret that you haven’t gotten some dummy to let you put your penis in them or given up the nappy dug-out to some chump on a camping trip. What a super awful time in life! Well, that is unless you’re super proud of your choice to not have fun teenage sex, like the people at Virgin-Forum.com. This is a site for people who are virgins, and sometimes not, to get together and talk about their virginity or lack there-of. Thanks for listening! I hope you enjoy it as much as you enjoy all that post virginity sex you’re all having.

This podcast is going to make you laugh and probably make you a little uncomfortable. Or it might just make you feel sad. It’s unlikely to make you feel horny… unless you actually hang out at Raw Top’s Breeding Zone (Do I have to say it’s NSFW?). Anyway, Its been almost 4 years since I read from The Breeding Zone and thank the Lord, the posters there have not gotten any less graphically horrible about what they are into/doing. As always with topics beyond the pale, if it helps you sleep at night, I’ll allow you to reserve the right to believe the more crazy things are pure fiction. But… yeah… ENJOY? Oh yeah, I’d like to thank The Breeding Zone for always wishing me a happy birthday!

Hey all you gun-loving podcast fans out there. I know that maybe when you’re listening to podcasts your situational awareness may not be at its height. So, I implore you to look around while you’re listening to this podcast. Also, while listening, please keep your hand on your holster at all times. One can’t be too careful these days. I mean, what if something happened? Would you be ready to defend yourself AND listen to podcasts? These are important topics, to be sure. This episode is all about people who are concerned about their right to carry a firearm. So lock the 6 locks on your bedroom door, get inside your safe room and press play. It will all make sense. I promise.

This episode is drawn straight from the Comedy Goldmine threads from the Something Awful archives. It features en-edited confessions that were sent in anonymously by the members of the Something Awful forums. I hope you enjoy it. The titles pretty much says it all! On and by the way….

I hope you find it a breath of fresh air after the last episodes anal destruction theme. I promise no anal anything this episode. If you want to do some anal stuff while you listen that is your God damn business! This episode is basically people sharing dumb stuff they’ve done on drugs. I don’t have much to say about it beyond that. Maybe, just “Thanks to all the drug users out there who are so wonderfully open about sharing their experiences on the internet.” I hope you enjoy it. You may enjoy it more if you are on drugs.

Hey, I’m talking to you! If would you take that 2 liter bottle of soda out of your ass once in a while maybe you could pay attention to me when I tell you that I just read from the highly disturbing pages of Fetlife.com again. What did I read? Well, it just so happens that I read from a couple of groups who are dedicated to severe ass stretching. So severe, in fact, that I didn’t even feel like I could find an image that would do it justice or that I could stomach… THAT BAD! Ok one image. Anyway, please enjoy this episode if you can. It’s full of some pretty intensely crazy… stuff. Thanks for listening!

Hey, 2013 is over! The holiday season is over! What better time than now to look back at the experiences of the retail workers who had to deal with insane shoppers on Black Friday! Ok, I agree. Anytime would have been fine. I picked now. HAPPY NEW YEAR, EVERYBODY!! Here’s hoping to another year full of internet bizarreness and other related silly pursuits! If you’re interested you can find the original Reddit thread here. Thanks for listening!