Dopey: The Dark Comedy of Drug Addiction | Heroin | Cocaine | Meth | Weed | Drugs | LSD | Recovery | Sobriety

We talk about what makes a good counselor after playing a voice memo from someone who works in the treatment field. Alexis Neiers (Pretty Wild) calls in and tells us about her life in active addiction and recovery. She talks about using heroin (and smuggling drugs in her vagina) while recording her reality show. One of her stories involved lighting another woman's hair on fire with a cigarette and a hit and run with her car. Alexis goes on to share what it took to get sober at a young age. She talks about her early involvement in AA and her eventual decision to distance herself from the program. Alexis also shares her thoughts on recovery, the blessings of sobriety, and her hopes and aspirations for the addiction treatment field.

Tracey Helton Mitchell (Hope after Heroin) calls in and tells us about her using days and recovery. Tracey shares about using the same syringe for a year, being the "abscess queen," having a 70 year old sugar daddy when she was in her twenties, and other hardcore tales. Now Tracey is almost 20 years sober, a great mother, an author, and a positive force in the treatment world. We play a voice memo from Samuel in Australia about the time he ate a bunch of opium in the airport, nearly shit himself, and passed out. Chris talks about Erowid. Dave described a recent encounter with a whale while swimming. Lastly, we close with Cormac's versoin of "Good so Bad"... his 7 year old son provided the backup vocals.

Chris tells a story about having sex in a baseball dugout. Dave tells the "phallic bong" story - about the time he was tripping and thought that all his friends were gay as they packed each other bong hits. We play a voice memo from Andrew in Canada about the time he took too much MDMA at a rave and thought everyone was gay... and that the letters LGBTQ were being flashed on the megascreen. We read an email from Brian, a long time FABULOUS gay listener, who critiques our gay lingo. Chris tells the story about the time he shot meth with a resident in a brain injury clinic... who then wanted to suck his dick.

Chris' friend from rehab in California calls in and talks about his last few days of using. It involved a car crash, a physical encounter with his wife, and consuming an entire bottle of Klonopin in hopes of killing himself.... all in bathrobe with no shoes on. Chris' friend is now in long term recovery and a well respected attorney. Dave's dad then returns to the show and critiques Dopey, although we learn that he checks the reviews more than we do. He also talks about how unfunny Dave was when he was high and how Chris misuses words. Lastly, Dave talks about the time he interviewed Senator John McCain while high.

Dave smashes Chris about relationships. Chris tries stand up... and Dave smashes him. Dave tells the story about recently meeting Artie Lange. Chris retells the story about trying to hide tripping on LSD from a girlfriend, but adds the dismal ending of the story. We read an email from someone who still "loves heroin" after 20 years of use... and claims that it saved his life. Dave plays "Nobody Home." We do shout outs... sorry if we missed you!

Justin, a member of the dopey nation who recently got his MBA and MSW, calls in and tells us a couple Phish stories from his using days. We play a voice memo from Bailey about the time he faked a toothache to get a pass from rehab to go buy drugs... and also about the time he shat his pants in the store.... and also about the time he threw up during sex. Dave and Chris talk about injection mechanics and when IVing goes wrong. Chris shares about buying drugs on the street - specifically about when he was a little kid and tried to buy ketamine and mushrooms in the hood --- they didnt have any.

Brandon Novak calls in and lives up to the hype. Perhaps one of the most dopey guests, Brandon tells many depraved stories at the intersection of sex and drugs. One such story includes the time he came home in a black out and accidently tried to sleep with his mom. Beyond his junky tales, Brandon shares about his amazing climb out of the hole... transmitting recovery openly and honestly from a place of total humility. A must listen. After Brandon, we play a voice memo from Christina about a rehab (detox) romance that ended poorly - with her shooting meth while in a sober living, a restraining order, and jail time.

We read a high octance email from Australia about the time James shot too much MDMA and went into a psychotic episode - when the police came he asked them to "fuck him in the arse," and his boyfriend had to let him "suck his dick so he wouldnt jump of the balacony." Dave tells the story about the time he seized on a lofted bed, fell off, and landed on a bong on the floor. Chris talks about how he confused gender fluidity with sexual fluidity and painted a bizarre picture to his female classmate. Lastly, and certainly not leastly, we call Daniel Herron from the "Released in Captivity" podcast. Daniel spent 10 years in prison, including some time in the same county jail as Chris. He talks about his new podcast and tells us some prison stories - including the time he preemptively gave his clothes to an inmate named "Psycho"... and ended up calling out all of the Southsiders when "Psycho" wouldnt return the clothes. Also we talk about the "no hands policy" in certain prisons - when you can only stab people and are not allowed to fight with your hands.

Chris shares about his recent meditation retreat. We play a voice memo from Woody about the time he blacked out and came to with two hookers in the back of a cab... he ended up losing his wallet and woke up in an alley. Chris shares about blacking out and waking up in a Chinese girl's room during college while her parents were walking down the hall to get her. Dave makes fun of Chris for needing everyone to like him, including the woman who made him a sausage burrito. Dave and Chris talk about the psychedelic amplification of tripping in a laundromat. We talk about Bill Cosby. Lastly, we read some messages from someone who "unsubscribed" from Dopey because we keep eating on the show.

Bob Forrest (Celebrity Rehab, Thelonious Monster) calls in again and talks about shooting cocaine and hiding in a tree with a famous musician because he was psychotic and thought the cops were coming. He also tells the story of his friend who cut a piece of his leg off to study under a microscope because there were "worms" in it (he was also shooting cocaine). Bob rips the medical community/pharmaceutical industry a new one because of the opioid epidemic, and he tells us about his new podcast "Dont Die." Dave plays "Sister Morphine." Chris talks about shooting vodka and crushed up psych meds. Chris ponders whether midgits have a difficult time shooting up because they have small hands. Chris talks about the Bufo Alvarius frog (DMT frog) and tells the story of a friend that smoked the frog after it died (it didnt do anything). We play an awesome "Theme Song Challenge" enrty from Kristinn F in Iceland. We read an email from someone who shot meth and took a really hot bath... and then had to go to the emergency room. Also a bunch of other stuff...

Dave talks about the history of the Grateful Dead... and we call John who used to work on the road crew for them from '83-'85. We read an email from Stephanie who took too much ecstasy and started licking ice statues at a party... and then rubbed a "Whopper" all over her face because she didn't know how to eat it. Chris talks about shooting heroin while tripping on mescaline (San Pedros). We call Nick Reiner again who tells the story of how he lost his virginity - to a Craigslist prostitute which he financed by stealing money from his parents.

Chris gets a sick satisfaction from reading old WhatsApp messages from Francesca, an Italian girl who used to live next door (he's going to hell for this). We call Brandon Novak (Jackass). We play a voice memo from Andrew from Philly about the time he blacked out on Xanax and woke up feeling like he was "hit by a bus," with no posessions except for a "Christian book." Andrew now has two years clean and is doing well. We read a reddit message from someone who used to smoke crack with his parents and accidently drank his dad's piss. And lastly, but no leastly, we play an awesome 'Theme Song Challenge' entry from Cormac!

Dave and Chris talk about the blessings of sobriety, Chris shares about dating sober, online dating, and communicating with the dopey nation, we play a voice memo from Milk ("fuck the haters"), and Chris plays a recording from a sober homeless man (Mike) from the Lower East Side. Lastly, we talk about "hooping the shooter" - which is too taboo to write about here.

Todd calls in and tells us about the time he overdosed on fentanyl in an aisle in CVS, Chris talks about puking in an aisle in CVS because he saw a bottle of Robitussin Maximum Strength Cough, Chris talks about getting caught shooting up in CVS, Dave talks about stealing cookies from CVS, and Dave talks about buying syringes from CVS. We read an email from Gabby in Australia about predators in AA/NA ("dicks flying at me from all angles"). We play a voice memo from long-time listener, Christina, who tells us quite the story about shooting meth and ketamine south of the equator.

Lillo Brancato Jr. (Sopranos, A Bronx Tale) calls in and tells us about the time he overdosed in prison and how he subsequently got clean a few days later. We play a very articulate voice memo from long time listener and lovely southern belle, Leah. She tell us how she used to steal medication from the veterinarian and about how she got sober. We call Nick Reiner.... and he answers... while partying at the swanky Chateau Marmont. Dave talks about "relax-o" (xanax). Chris retells a story about a horrific cocaine overdose.