The Done Bingeing Podcast

There’s nothing more important than how we feel when it comes to getting what we want and need. Why? Because feelings are the reason why we do everything we do. They are the reasons why we make the choices we do around our eating. In fact, feelings are so central to eating that emotional management is a must if you want to reach the goals you have for your eating and your weight. You are one feeling away from shifting your eating and weight loss toward where you want them to be. Find out how to create that feeling by listening to the episode! Get full show notes and more information here: https://www.holdingthespace.co/16 We began looking closely at emotions in Episode 12 in a conversation about how to lose weight after being a binge eater without triggering any more binges. In that episode, we started to study why we have the desire to overeat in the first place. To understand the question, we needed to understand the three main reasons why we have the desire to overeat: 1. we use food to anesthetize painful emotions, 2. we’re conditioned to overeat by society, and 3. our dopamine system gets hijacked by high-sugar foods. So, since then, we’ve been exploring emotional eating and taking a deep dive into emotions—understanding them, choosing whether to eat them or feel them and now we’re on to creating them.

Many of us are so detached from our emotions that we can’t even name them. In fact, most people don’t know the difference between really feeling an emotion and resisting, reacting to, or avoiding one. Truly feeling an emotion can be done sitting on a chair and experiencing sensations in your body without taking any action at all. Listen in to Episode 15 to find out how! Episode 12 began the discussion of losing weight—without triggering more binges. And, in that episode, we started to explore why we have the desire to overeat in the first place. To understand that, we needed to dig into the three main reasons why we have the desire to overeat: 1. we use food to anesthetize painful emotions, 2. we’re conditioned to overeat by society, and 3. our dopamine system gets hijacked by high-sugar foods. Episode 13 started the examination of how we use food to deaden uncomfortable feelings. Episode 14 went even deeper by differentiating between eating a feeling and feeling a feeling. Now, in Episode 15, we take time to understand feelings even more deeply. Get full show notes and more information here: https://www.holdingthespace.co/15

Sometimes feelings suck. Especially when you don’t want to feel them. One of the main reasons we have the desire to overeat is that overeating is an effective—though temporary—pain killer of feelings we don’t want to feel. The fact that it has the effect of doing what we want it to do—numb painful emotions—even for a short time is what keeps reinforcing its use as an analgesic. Episode 14 drills down even further into emotional eating. In this episode, we continue the discussion we began in Episode 3 about using self-regard as your key ally to end your binges. Self-regard can help you deal with your unhappiness with your weight, the temptation to diet to lose that weight and control your eating, your urges to binge, the bingeing itself, and weight loss after you stop bingeing. Get full show notes and more information here: https://www.holdingthespace.co/14

We have the desire to overeat for three main reasons: 1. because we use food to anesthetize painful emotions, 2. because of how we’re conditioned to eat by society, and 3. because of how our dopamine system is hijacked by high-sugar foods. You can begin to unlearn that desire by understanding how we use food to deaden uncomfortable feelings, how we’re conditioned to overeat, and how the neurotransmitter dopamine works. We’re going to take these one at a time. Episode 13 tackles how we use food to escape emotions. In this episode, we continue the discussion we began in Episode 3 about using self-regard as your key ally to end your binges. Self-regard can help you deal with your unhappiness with your weight, the temptation to diet to lose that weight and control your eating, your urges to binge, the bingeing itself, and weight loss after you stop bingeing. Get full show notes and more information here: https://www.holdingthespace.co/13

Losing weight after being a binge eater—without triggering more binges—can be tricky, which is why most approaches will barely touch the topic. I’ve left this issue to the end in this series on self-regard because without a solid foundation, any weight loss information I offer just risks being rehashed into another hysteria-driven, hate-based dieting mentality. I’m done with that, and I hope you are too. When we focus on losing weight, we’re just treating the symptom—the tip of the iceberg, the part of the problem that we can see. We’re not addressing what lies below, the bulk of the problem that we can’t see. We have to dive beneath the surface to find the underlying causes of being overweight. One of the biggest culprits is the desire to overeat—and that’s what Episode 12 is all about! In this episode, we continue the discussion we began in Episode 3 about using self-regard as your key ally as you end your binges. Self-regard can help you deal with your unhappiness with your weight, the temptation to diet to lose that weight and control your eating, your urges to binge, the bingeing itself, and weight loss after you stop bingeing. Get full show notes and more information here: https://www.holdingthespace.co/12

You’ve binged. Again. And you’re tempted to run from that reality. I know the feeling. But I’ve got a better idea. Something happens when we run: everything goes by in a blur. And what can you see in a blur? Not much. Some unidentifiable streaks perhaps. And this is exactly where bingeing thrives. In the blur, in the streaks. In the unwillingness or inability to see, to be aware, and to be conscious. In the unwillingness or inability to stay still. But you can see so much better in the stillness. It isn’t as scary as you think. You can be still after the binge. And I can help. Episode 11 continues the conversation we began in Episode 3 about how self-regard should be your key ally as you end your binges. Self-regard can help you deal with your unhappiness with your weight, the temptation to diet to lose that weight and control your eating, your urges to binge, and the bingeing itself. The next episode will cover how self-regard can help you lose weight after you stop bingeing. Get full show notes and more information here: https://www.holdingthespace.co/11

You want the binges to end right away. I get it. Try to be patient with yourself. This process can take time, and you’re well on your way. Let’s talk about what to do if you’re not yet able to defuse and bypass your urges to binge. I can’t let you off the hook here! Yes, you’ve guessed it . . . you’ve got to binge with self-regard—that form of deep, unconditional love for yourself that we’ve been talking so much about. Why? Because self-regard lets you be a neutral witness of the binge, which, in turn, allows the binge to serve as a step toward new neural wiring instead of just another loop through the old neural groove. It often seems like there’s so much to get upset over when we binge. There’s the amount of food we eat, the kind of food we eat, the lightning speed at which we eat it, and the unnerving disconnect between how we want to eat and how we actually do eat. But I want you to stay calm and be kind to yourself during the binge by following three simple steps. Listen in to find out more! Episode 10 explores why deliberately planning and savoring your binge will help you so much more than racing through it with your eyes closed because you hate what you’re doing. This episode continues the conversation we began in Episode 3 about how self-regard can be a key ally in helping you end your binges. Episode 4 focused on weight, Episode 5 looked at dieting. Episodes 6 to 8 tackled the urges to binge. Last week, Episode 9 explored why—counter-intuitively—it may be better to love your bingeing than to hate it. The following episodes will cover the post-binge blues and weight loss after the bingeing has stopped. Get full show notes and more information here: https://www.holdingthespace.co/10

Loving the fact that you binge may seem like the most ridiculous thing you’ve ever heard. But before you unsubscribe, let me ask you this: When you binge, do you think things like, “This is disgusting,” “I must be broken to eat like this,” “I hate that I can’t stop myself,” or “No one can find out that I do this”? If so, do these thoughts make you feel ashamed, resigned, sad, powerless, and scared? And if so, does that prime you for yet another binge? Many binge eaters experience this cycle almost to the T. One more question: What’s the up-side? Episode 9 explores why it seems to make sense to hate our bingeing, but how—counter-intuitively—it may actually be better to love it. This episode continues the conversation we began in Episode 3 about how self-regard can be a key ally in helping you end your binges. Episode 4 focused on weight, Episode 5 looked at dieting. Episodes 6 to 8 tackled the urges to binge. The following episodes will cover the aftermath of bingeing and weight loss after the bingeing has stopped. Get full show notes and more information here: https://www.holdingthespace.co/9

Welcoming your next urge to binge may sound off-the-wall, but it can be just what you need to set you free from your bingeing. Being afraid of your urges isn’t freedom. It’s prison. And you don’t need to be afraid of them anyway. Freedom is when you’re willing to allow an urge—to open the door to it, welcome it in, and actually look forward to its next visit. When you can stay neutral about your urges in just this way, you weaken the old, outdated neural connection anchoring your bingeing. So, in a way, your urges are actually just what you need to heal. If you’re scratching your head, or if this sounds impossible, listen to the episode to find out why it may be easier than you think! Episode 8 continues the conversation we began in Episode 3 about how self-regard will get you a whole lot closer to ending your binges than shame will. Episode 4 focused on weight, Episode 5 looked at dieting. Episodes 6 and 7 began exploring the urges to binge. The following episodes will cover the bingeing itself, the aftermath of bingeing, and weight loss after the bingeing has stopped. Get full show notes and more information here: https://www.holdingthespace.co/8

The last thing you want to do is hang around with the urge to binge, right? There’s no doubt that your urge is super-compelling. But there’s also no doubt that your prefrontal cortex is super-powerful. Armed with the brain science we covered in the last episode, you can learn how to defuse the urge to binge by witnessing it. And nothing defuses your urges like compassionate curiosity—you’ve got it, a form of self-regard! Episode 7 teaches you how to track what’s happening for you during an urge and how to disengage from any drama with the technique called the “Behind-the-Scenes Movie Trick.” You’ll learn that you don’t have to binge to make the urge go away. You’ll also learn that you have two powerful allies with you on your journey to end binge eating. Listen in to find out more. This episode continues the conversation we began in Episode 3 about how self-regard will get you a whole lot closer to ending your binges. Episode 4 focused on weight, Episode 5 looked at dieting. Episode 6 began to tackle the urges to binge. The following weeks will continue to discuss the urge to binge and will also cover the bingeing itself, the aftermath of bingeing, and weight loss after the bingeing has stopped. Get full show notes and more information here: https://www.holdingthespace.co/7

Binge eaters feel a strong disconnect between how they want to eat and how they actually do eat. It can feel incredibly disempowering to feel like you’re eating against your will. This episode uncovers the reason for that dissonance and begins to explore what to do about it. In Episode 6, I’m going to invite you to reconsider a deep-seated belief—that your urges to binge are beyond your control, that they’re absolutely overpowering. The good news? They aren’t all that. We’re going to dissect your brain and take a good look at what’s really going on up there. (Don’t worry. This won’t hurt a bit!) This episode continues the conversation we began in Episode 3 about the cost of shame and about how self-regard will get you so much closer to resolving your bingeing. Episode 4 focused on weight, Episode 5 looked at dieting. This week, we’re tackling the urges to binge! The following weeks will discuss the urge to binge in more depth and will also cover the bingeing itself, the aftermath of bingeing, and weight loss after the bingeing has stopped. Get full show notes and more information here: https://www.holdingthespace.co/6

Binge eaters often resort to dieting as a way to lose weight or to control their eating. But dieting is also often a precursor to binge eating. In other words, dieting can trigger the onset of bingeing and dieting can be the go-to once the bingeing has started. The result? A vicious cycle of dieting, bingeing, and more dieting. In Episode 5, you’ll find out why simply eating enough food may be all you need to stop bingeing. And, of course, we’re going to tackle your greatest fear about tossing the diets—gaining weight. This episode continues the conversation we began in Episode 3 about the cost of shame and about how self-regard will get you much closer to resolving your bingeing! Last week, we focused on weight. This week, we’ve got diets in our sights! The following weeks will cover urges to binge, the bingeing itself, the aftermath of bingeing, and weight loss after the bingeing has stopped. Get full show notes and more information here: https://www.holdingthespace.co/5

When you see the number on the scale, or on the measuring tape, or on a clothing tag, what do you make that number mean? And why should you care about the meaning you ascribe to that number? In Episode 4, you’ll find out why how you think and feel about your weight really matters—and how to make your attitude about your weight work in your favor. This episode continues the conversation we began in Episode 3 about the price you pay when you feel shame about your bingeing. Remember, self-regard is central to freeing you from bingeing! So, this week, and for the next few weeks, we’ll be breaking this down and looking at how we can use self-regard to help in key areas of binge eating: weight, food restriction, urges to binge, the bingeing itself, the aftermath of bingeing, and weight loss after the bingeing has stopped. Up first: weight. Listen in and find out more! Get full show notes and more information here: https://www.holdingthespace.co/4

In Episode 3, I explore the toll that shame takes on binge eaters, and about why it’s worth it to let it go. One of the best ways to rout out shame is to shine a light on it and talk about what we’ve kept hidden—without apology. Stay tuned for some dirt on a cake, a garbage can, and a bottle of dish soap! I’ll talk about self-regard as a better choice for ending binge eating—plus, it just feels way better! In this episode, I’ll also start to unravel what’s going on in your brain when you binge and how self-regard can help your brain wire a new neural pathway away from bingeing. Get full show notes and more information here: https://www.holdingthespace.co/4

This episode is about where you and I meet. If you’d really like to get the most out of this podcast, I’m going to ask you to come prepared to give your all, as I’ll give mine. That’s how you’ll best be able to apply the concepts, tools, and strategies that I’ll be teaching. This episode covers where many binge eaters are in their journey, where they want to be, and how they can get from here to there. It’s important to talk about the journey of other binge eaters because shame often means that we binge and suffer in silence. When we don’t talk about it, we don’t realize that we are like so many other lovely, perfectly imperfect humans who also struggle with bingeing. Talking about it opens up space to wriggle free from the shame. That in itself makes the journey to healing so much easier. So we’re going to dive in to what happens when an urge to binge strikes—and it often does feel like being struck! We’re going to explore what’s probably holding you back from stopping your bingeing, and how coaching can help you turn it all around. I’m going to lay out what I stand for as a coach committed to helping people stop bingeing. And then I’m going to ask you what you stand for and what you’re committed to. You need to know. This work will require you to show up . . . with all of you and without apology. I’m all in. Are you? Listen to the episode and find out! Get full show notes and more information here: https://www.holdingthespace.co/2