Here's An Idea!

The Boys™, sans Joel, can barely contain their glee at the thought of a Mrs. Explosm-free day! Whatever will they do with their time? Why, discuss such topics as Joel's weird knees, volcano envy, penis roulette, Smokey Joe's barbecue and Lion King cloud powers of course!

I hope you came ready to learn, Podophiles, but this episode is educational AF. We’ve got everything you need to know about face tattoos, Kevin McAllister: Party Monster and Pete & Pete. Plus The Boys™ Invent a great new derogatory term for Americans, a new slogan for the Dallas Pride Festival and a new, all-purpose catchphrase! Finally, they’ll teach you how any group of little boys is a little gay, how porn should be nicer to ladies and what happens when a blind, deaf bank robber, well... robs a bank.

Once again, Dave and Joel find themselves alone in a hole. But this hole doesn’t contain emails or noise. No, it contains nothing but their own dark, contemplative thoughts. Thoughts like: What’s up with bad neighbors? Is this behavior normal, or just Dave? Can we get our aggression in check? Why does Dave think he grew up in Game of Thrones? How do we deal with babies on flights? Vigo The Carpathian or Vigo The Channing Tatum? And, finally, is it true? DOES this man have no dick? Settle down and get comfy, cuz it’s time to TALK TO WALL.

Podophiles it’s time to reinvent the concept of modern cinema, starting with film adaptations of Dick Dock vs. Dig Dug, Darren Aronofsky’s Dr. Mario, George Foreman Grill: The Movie, The Yaoi Babadook, and that Schwarzenegger archeology-adventure classic, Diggin’ Up My Great Great Great Grandpa’s Bones. Let’s do lunch to work out the deets. Have your people call my people, then my people will fax me in my limo which they are not allowed in.

Pop quiz, hotshot! Which fighting video game character would you fuck? What do you do if a friend sends you porn they think you would like? Are your MSN and Hotmail accounts still active? Is Chris Pine a butthole-seeking homunculoid? What movies took place in the distant future of 2019? What was Mr. DNA really up to?! Ok, pass your papers to your neighbor and we’ll grade them as a class.

Podophiles, this episode is almost entirely about sex cults. Joining them, forming them, escaping them… you’re going to learn A LOT in this one, but how you apply that knowledge is up to you, your sister wives, their legions of children and the big man himself: Shaq.

CAUTION: This episode contains boys who do everything together, dick holsters, secret boners, jizz relays, porn preferences and locker room talk on The Oregon Trail. Please do not ingest this episode if you are pregnant, or might become pregnant, or have ever been pregnant, or have ever met a baby.

This week, The Boys™ try out their season 2 personas, and talk about which food they’d fornicate with, while Dumb God delivers his Dumb Commandments, Hollywood goes wild for “Gravity Too,” and Kris gives a recap of big date with Mrs. E. Finally, Game of Thrones is a soap opera, Dave gets American gifts and Obama’s impressive endowment is discussed.

In this VERY special episode, you get to be a fly on the wall as Kris and Mrs. Explosm go on their first date! That’s right, The Boys™ have pulled the ultimate prank on their other Boy™, Kris, and their otherworldly boss, Mrs. E., and set the two of them up on a blind date! Mrs. E. subjects Kris to the ultimate torture: Her company, AND making him write solo scripts!

This is highly irregular, but an additional Boy™ has entered the ring for this Email Hole and he refuses to be silent and let the professionals do their jobs. It’s Rob! Why!? Because he was there! The Boys™ answer your questions about Pagliacci, Studio Poopy Grill, Royal Rangers and everyone’s favorite phone aficionado, Android Pete. Strap in and say our classic catchphrase, “Cowabunga, I’m Bart!”

This is it, Podophiles! YOUR favorite “scripts” of season 1, numbers 5 through 1! Put on your counting caps and lace up your laughing boots, because The Boys™ are about to take you on a memory voyage to hilarity town. Bring dry socks too, ‘cause it’s gonna get wet! Ya know, WITH LAUGH TEARS!

The Podophiles voted for their favorite episodes of Season 1, and the Boys™ are contractually obligated to reminisce about them while feigning enthusiasm! Count along and downward from 10 to 6 as we reach into the old memory bucket and pull out whatever sort of bucket meats one would expect to find in a bucket!

This season 1 wrap up episode is about 2 things: 1) Hot Convos and 2) Twink Meat. Dave delights The Boys™ with tales of flat Earthers and the Great Dragon Ocean in The Sky, Kris terrifies with his tales of John MacAffe’s shit hammock, and Joel prepares to set Mrs. Explosm up with a MYSTERY MAN (it’s Kris). Start a milk fight with Aerosmith, it’s time to epi this logue!

In this 50th Episode GOLDEN ANNIVERSARY celebration of friendship, creative comradery, shared suffering and Stockholm Syndrome, The Boys™ reflect on the last year with cheers, jeers and beers full of tears. Mrs. Explosm has a special surprise for The Boys™ that takes them on a stroll down Suppressed Memory Lane.

The Boys™ are back (in town) to discuss sneaky air vent pranks, sleep paralysis ASMR, rappin’ in the suburbs, the POG incident, plugging volcanoes and garbage wrestlers. Settle down and have a long talk with your own body, or your own Illuminati, because it’s about to go down in a skull-shaped mountain, brother.