Robot Pizza Van, Funny News

Help us get seen, WRITE A REVIEW! https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/robot-pizza-van-funny-news/id1212719431?mt=2 Picture the scene, a small goat climbs on your back while you do yoga. It’s real. It has been verified in the field. Rygar is not here today. Maybe next week (no probably not, but definitely soon). Donovan leitch, what’s up with Donovan (musician from the sixties, not the lawyer). He’s alive and he’s on tour. We talk about him with no actual research and much speculation. Soon (2021) artificial intelligence will be able to translate dolphin language. They already use it to translate dozens of human languages and just need to gather more dolphin data. A rage room is a furnished room that you can smash. Use a baseball bat or get creative - smash one thing with another thing. Juicero is a juicer. Its getting a reputation as an expensive ($120 million), ridiculous startup investment. The kicker is that you can save the $400 cost of the machine and squeeze the packets with your bare hands. And really most important of all (to me) is that you write a review for the Robot Pizza Van on iTunes. Here’s a link to the show in the iTunes store were you can WRITE A REVIEW! https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/robot-pizza-van-funny-news/id1212719431?mt=2 If you already use iTunes then you probably know how to do this already, but if you don’t use iTunes, then I’ll understand if you don’t want to go through the whole process of getting an Apple ID and then writing a review. Then of course, I would also understand if you did. Music by Uncle Milk

Japan is facing a massive potato chip shortage. An artist has created a sculpture of Beyoncé… out of cheese (a lot of work just for the pun “Brie-oncé”). We also discover which bathroom stall(cubicle?) is the cleanest, statistically. Music by Uncle Milk Review us on iTunes https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/robot-pizza-van/id1212719431?mt=2 or Soundcloud - https://soundcloud.com/robotpizzavan Call and leave a voice mail at 510-629-1233 or email us at robotpizzavan@gmail.com

Aaaaaah… the self-deprecating nineties. Well even if you weren’t alive yet you can still remember them, indirectly through sales-based nostalgia. We remember some of the things from the nineties like that song by Enigma that was in Tropic Thunder, and we couldn’t remember at the time but it was Suzanne Vega and her song 99.9F°. Elbows or knees? The truth or lies? We make some tough choices and we learn a little about ourselves along the way. The first news story; Prosecco nail polish, the first edible nail polish… lick-able nail polish, it’s not edible, I learned the hard way. This product is somehow associated by Groupon and so there is the associated prestige and sophistication. The second story is a Skyscraper that hangs from an earth-orbiting asteroid. Look out to the horizon and see the skyscraper hanging down from above… as it slowly drifts by. It would be like an upside-down city skyline. What if you had both the regular skyline and this upside-down skyline? The third news story is about a $25,000 prize for the smelliest sneaker. There are different factors that are used to judge this contest. I don’t think they used any scientific instruments but instead rely on a judge’s subjective ‘judgment’. I could criticize the judge but I think he’s been through enough. We also learn some of the techniques that the contestants used to develop the shoe’s smell. Music by Uncle Milk Subscribe, rate and review especially on iTunes https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/robot-pizza-van/id1212719431?mt=2 or Soundcloud - https://soundcloud.com/robotpizzavan Call and leave a voice mail at 510-629-1233 or email us at robotpizzavan@gmail.com

Rygar and Borg take a turn reading the news stories, we’ll see how they like the pressure! The first story is about a 'smart garage' owner who complained about his “garadget” smart device, so the company had it disabled. The second story is about an invention for self-driving cars: 'human flypaper' mounted on the hood of the car. This way if the car hits someone, they’ll stick! Besides this we touch upon yoga, deserted boats in the bay, Uber and someone touches upon something hot and burns their finger. And hey, subscribe, rate and review especially on iTunes https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/robot-pizza-van/id1212719431?mt=2 or Soundcloud - https://soundcloud.com/robotpizzavan Music by Uncle Milk Call and leave a voice mail at 510-629-1233 or email us at robotpizzavan@gmail.com

This week we examine edible water bubbles. We don’t eat or drink any, we just examine… the idea. We’re also talking about a Harvard study on the physics behind why shoelaces come untied… and the shoes that love them. Along the way, tales are told of Fruitarians, Breatharians, plant EKGs, Ents and Entwives, the British version of Kickstarter, Boba tea, kale(again), and we watch an advertisement(?) for Joan’s barbecue and foot massage. Music by Uncle Milk Subscribe, rate and review especially on iTunes https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/robot-pizza-van/id1212719431?mt=2 or Soundcloud - https://soundcloud.com/robotpizzavan Call and leave a voice mail at 510-629-1233 or email us at robotpizzavan@gmail.com

Remember childhood pencil fights? What’s up with Paper boys, papergirls… paper-people? And Bazooka Joe, has he ever had a bazooka? A lot of questions but don’t worry, they are rhetorical. Then Rygar, Borg, and Offroad talk about the most expensive potato chips, a so-called ‘thief’ who accidentally warns his victim, UPS truck habits, and listen as we watch Colbert watch 'Hi Stranger’…… and while you’re at it listen to us watching a video of two cats that ring bells with their cute little paws for treats. Music by Uncle Milk Subscribe, rate and review especially on iTunes https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/robot-pizza-van/id1212719431?mt=2 or Soundcloud - https://soundcloud.com/robotpizzavan Call and leave a voice mail at 510-629-1233 or email us at robotpizzavan@gmail.com

Clouds that rain tequila, cheating in school, dog drones, and mysterious lights in the sky. These are the days of our lives, … these are the days of someone’s life. But for us, these are the topics of discussions. Rygar, Borg and Offroad talk about an art-installation cloud that ‘rains’ tequila, a complicated 2-drone solution to the dog poop crisis, and a Harvard study suggesting aliens may be hard at work in another galaxy. But before that, they answer a few computer-generated questions which lead to some inadvertent tips on cheating in school, and a few conversational tangents, which themselves lead to more tangents. It’s like holding a mirror up to another mirror, and gazing into the infinite reflections of the internet. Music by Uncle Milk Call and leave a voice mail at 510-629-1233 or email us at robotpizzavan@gmail.com And seriously, subscribe, rate and review especially on iTunes https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/robot-pizza-van/id1212719431?mt=2

Berkeley’s ‘Hate Man’, a former New York Times reporter who chose to live outside on the streets developing his own philosophy, died April 2nd, 2017 at 80 years of age. This is Robot Pizza Van’s first ‘Berkeley Hate Man Minisode’. Back in June of 2016, Offroad was out of the studio and in Berkeley’s People’s Park talking with the Hate Man, Décor, Oddsock and Frank. It gets chaotic at times, everyone talking at once , but Hate Man explains some of his philosophy, especially the practice of ‘slapping hands’. Call and leave a voice mail at 510-629-1233 or email us at robotpizzavan@gmail.com Subscribe, rate and review, especially on iTunes https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/robot-pizza-van/id1212719431?mt=2 Music by Uncle Milk

Today we learn what it takes to start a Popsicle cart, we take a ride on a Popsicle bike, and pet some peeves. Then we’re talking about a $100 bottled iceberg water, bad Brita filters and the Santa Claus conspiracy. Follow the money! Rygar relates a harrowing snowboard adventure, we hear of a man who swallowed a light bulb only to have it removed ten years later, and …….. have you heard of Burning Man? So has everyone else. Call and leave a voice mail at 510-629-1233 or email us at robotpizzavan@gmail.com And seriously, subscribe, rate and review (especially on iTunes https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/robot-pizza-van/id1212719431?mt=2) Music by Uncle Milk

This week we learn that NASA has invested in 3D printed pizzas for Mars missions, Borg reads some unintentionally funny headlines, and Sting is the King of the Mods(in Quadrophenia). Then we react to the wild turkey video and the Uber CEO vs Uber Driver argument video. Finally, if a tree falls in the woods and no one is there to hear, does it bother to make a sound? Music by Uncle Milk Call and leave a voice mail at 510-629-1233 or email us at robotpizzavan@gmail.com Subscribe, rate and review especially on iTunes https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/robot-pizza-van/id1212719431?mt=2

Our first article is about a Viking funeral for a goldfish. This leads to talk of Tibetan funerals and of course, zombie Buddhist goat ghosts. The second article is about the most expensive taco in the... news, a twenty-five thousand dollar taco. Yum? Then some ASMR treats(not really), StockX - the stock market for sneakers, Back to the Future shoes, and the dangers of Velcro. The final article is about Pizza Hut's limited edition, IOT shoes that can order a pizza while you tap your toes. They're being released for March Madness to 'Influencers' so we are expecting a pair for Robot Pizza Van in the mail any day now. Music by Uncle Milk Call and leave a voice mail at 510-629-1233 or email us at robotpizzavan@gmail.com Subscribe, rate and review especially on iTunes https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/robot-pizza-van/id1212719431?mt=2

We're talking condiments with a focus on horseradish, pulled pork with pickles and up-cycled organic baby carrots. What is the proper cellphone etiquette on the BART? Is a human hamster water feeder an ASMR treat or a slurping nightmare? The Selfie Drone, hmmmmmm..... Cannibal hamsters in France. More Google Home Easter Eggs. The origin of the word dude. Leave a voicemail at 510-629-1233 or email us at robotpizzavan@gmail.com Theme song by Uncle Milk

Today we present - the musical preferences of dogs, umbrella drones, and a recipe for eating wild snails. Borg tells us about the pirates of Mallory Square and their dance parties. Rygar plays some Leonard Nimoy and his Ballad of Bilbo Baggins and Google Home makes a cameo appearance. Then, mantra magic and AI based startups. Chemistry class and arranged prom dates. Shady limos and Bell Biv Divoe's extended remix. All of this and many more incomplete sentences. Music by Uncle Milk Subscribe, rate and review especially on iTunes https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/robot-pizza-van/id1212719431?mt=2 or Soundcloud - https://soundcloud.com/robotpizzavan Call and leave a voice mail at 510-629-1233 or email us at robotpizzavan@gmail.com