Marriage Radio: Real Help to Save Your Marriage

You've prayed. Others have prayed with you...for you. Your children pour out their hearts. Yet, your marriage continues to spiral downward. Someone on TV said that if only you have enough faith, God will do whatever you ask. (Then s/he asks you for a check to prove your faith...) Well-meaning friends tell you God is faithful if only you will continue to be...that He will bring about healing for your marriage...and that you should not doubt. However, time passes, your prayers change from petition to aggravation. Why isn't God listening? Why isn't He doing what you ask? As one lady recently said, "I'm done with God. I've given Him plenty of opportunity to change my husband and He's done nothing." Can God answer prayers about marriage? Does He? Does He care? Will He intervene in the situations of life in which we find ourselves? Will He change your spouse so that they stop doing the things hurting you, your children, your marriage...and even to themselves? To answer those questions Dr. Beam welcomes Leighann McCoy. Leighann knows about REAL life. She survived cancer. She fought through major difficulties with her family. Leighann also knows God. She is a prayer warrior. She writes books about prayer, spiritual warfare, especially concerning families (http://amzn.to/2okIEzG). She offers prayer courses on her website http://www.leighannmccoy.com. During this program, she joins Dr. Beam to discuss how people in crisis marriages should pray, what they should expect from God in return, and how to deal with God's answers. To speak with Leighann and Dr. Beam during the program, call 646.378.0424. The program airs live at 9 p.m. central time, Tuesday, April 11, 2017 at http://www.marriageradio.com/why-wont-god-answer-prayers-for-my-marriage/. 

Are you controlling?  Really? Or is your spouse trying to manipulate you? S/he claims you're controlling because you're an obstacle to him or her doing whatever they wish. Maybe there's a combination. You have been controlling and now your spouse is using that to manipulate you into inaction by accusing you of being controlling now. If you are controlling, eventually that behavior will destroy your marriage. If you're being manipulated, backing off on a matter could make a clear path for your spouse to hurt you. If you have been controlling, but now you feel you must take a stand to stop your spouse from doing things detrimental to your marriage, stopping your stand might be the worst thing you can do. So...how do you know?  What do you do? When do you back off and when do you take your stand? In this program, Dr. Joe Beam explains what control in a relationship is. He discusses why people control and how they can stop controlling. He also points out that sometimes there needs to be control...even if in the past your controlling behavior led to a current unpleasant situation.  Finally, Dr. Beam explains step by step how a person who has damaged his or her relationship with a spouse (or children) by controlling can overcome that and renew relationship...even save a marriage. For all those who listen to the program (and even if you skip the program!), Dr. Beam offers a free eBook about control that includes a thirty-question questionnaire to help you evaluate whether you're controlling or not. It is available at http://your.marriagehelper.com/Control. Listen at http://www.marriageradio.com/my-spouse-says-im-controlling/

No one wants to be treated as a child...especially by the person that is supposed to be our partner...our equal...our mate. We don't appreciate being told what to think, how to act, what to feel, or what to believe. Each of us craves being accepted and appreciated for who we are...as we are. When we were children, we understood the need for an authority figure to guide us, teach us, and, sometimes, to command us. But we aren't children and we don't want our husbands or wives telling us what we must do, think, say, or feel to keep from being chastised or punished...or abandoned. I want...and deserve...a partner with whom I can have union based on love, NOT a relationship based on making him or her happy by yielding to nearly every way s/he thinks things should be done. In our work with marriages, we found that one of the most common reasons for major marital discord is a spouse who feels controlled, disrespected, or dominated by the other. Interestingly, often the dominating spouse doesn't believe s/he is being controlling. In this program, Dr. Joe Beam and Kimberly Holmes, CEO of Marriage Helper, explain why people control others and how they do it. More importantly, they explain how a person being controlled can put an end to that WITHOUT putting an end to the marriage. It won't stop on its own, but it can be stopped when the controlled spouse knows what to do. During the program Dr. Beam and Ms. Holmes offer free access to this free eBook about control. You may receive that free eBook whether you listen to the program or not by going to this link. Your.MarriageHelper.com/Control The program is available now on www.MarriageRadio.com, and www.BlogTalkRadio.com.

Love. Lots of people think they know what it is...until they realize that they don't. Think of the hit songs from your lifetime. How many were about wanting to be loved, enjoying amazing love, or longing for lost love? Why those topics? Because most adults fit into one of those three categories. Some wonder where their lover may come from...if at all. Others hope the one they secretly love will finally come to realize it and respond with passion. Many bask in the deep emotions of shared love...and think it will be like this forever. And way too many still love the person who once loved them but now is gone... So what is love really? Is it the ecstatic emotion of new romance? Is it the security of trusting the person you love to always love you in return? Is it something that really does last a lifetime or is it fleeting...lasting a few years at best? In this program, Dr. Joe Beam responds to your questions about love. What it is. How to know if you really are in love. How long it lasts. When it ends. Why it ends. Can it last a lifetime? And, maybe most important to many, if it has ended can it be rekindled? The program begins at 9 p.m. (Central), March 22, 2016. You may speak with Dr. Beam by calling 646.378.0424 during the program. 

[Episode brought to you by WhatAboutMe.Org - a division of Marriage Helper that helps children navigate through how to deal with their parents' divorce. Donate to the mission at whataboutme.org/donate] We hear it all the time, "Kids are resilient!" But is it true?  If I fall down the stairs and break my leg, will my leg heal? Actually, no it won't heal. If I don't do anything to help my leg heal, then it will only get worse. If I go to the doctor, get a cast, go to physical therapy, and do all the things necessary for my leg to heal, then yes, it will heal.  Otherwise...you get the picture. We understand this for every other area of health and wellness in life. But when it comes to thinking about how children are affected during divorce or separation, all of a sudden we expect the children to know exactly what to do to help themselves heal. And that's not how it happens. Can children be resilient? YES. Absolutely. Will they be resilient on their own? Highly unlikely. It is up to parents, friends, and family members to help children become resilient. In this episode, we discuss the 3 must-do's in helping your child become resilient.  [REMEMBER: Now through the end of the month, Marriage Helper is offering a $500 travel credit when you register for the Marriage Helper workshop. We'd love to see you there! - your.marriagehelper.com/marriage-workshop] Listen at http://www.marriageradio.com/the-3-things-kids-must-have-to-be-resilient-during-separation-and-divorce/

It was a slow decline. 7 years ago is when Brandon and Carrie’s marriage started experiencing troubles, but they didn’t realize it yet. Over the years, they grew apart. Even though they were living in the same house. Work, kids, and the daily occurrences of life started tearing them apart from each other until one day, it seemed like everything came crashing down all at once. What did they do next and where are they now? That’s what we are going to explore in this week’s episode of Marriage Radio. At Marriage Helper, we believe in saving marriages and strengthening families. The main ways we do that are through our live workshops and online courses. Visit marriagehelper.com for more information, or call us at 615.472.1161 or 866.903.0990. 

Many times we have people asking us to hear stories of people who have been through our online course and attended our Marriage Helper workshops.  In this podcast, we interview an online course member and a recent Marriage Helper 911 workshop graduate to find out:  What her marriage was like before getting helpWhy she decided to get helpWhat she learned that made major differences in her marriageHow she got her spouse to agree to go to the workshop with herWhat she learned at the workshop that made all the difference in the worldHow her marriage is doing nowHer HONEST OPINION of what you should do in your situation Plus - THIS MONTH ONLY (March 2017) special $500 travel credit towards the workshop! Call 615.472.1161 for details.  Visit us at marriagehelper.com

Want to work on becoming more attractive, but you feel like there are so many obstacles in your way? Kids, spouse living at home, job, and more?  Here's the question that we received: "My situation is unique in the sense that my husband and I are not separated. We are in the same house. When it comes to working on my PIES, it's hard at times because we have kids, my husband's hours are all over the place, and I am so busy with our daughter. It's also hard because there's no intimacy...so I'm not very motivated to work on my PIES. How do I do the PIES when are are other obstacles?" We'll talk about how to overcome these in this episode.   

We fight for marriages. All marriages. No matter what has happened. BUT sometimes they end. Actually, sometimes they should end. We realize that sounds as if it is in opposition to our mission. In this program, Dr. Joe Beam explains when it is not. We offer many resources on MarriageHelper.com to help save marriages. We provide online courses for the spouse who wishes to save the marriage when the other doesn't. We post many podcasts that address relationship problems and provide valuable, life-altering information. Our weekend intensive, Marriage Helper 911, has an amazing success rate. Even though the vast majority of couples who attend have one spouse who has NO desire to save the marriage (usually they come to get a deal in the divorce), three out of four couples who go through the workshop actually turn their crisis marriages around and make it good again. Yet... Some marriages end.  If you suffer in a marriage - whether you are the one who wants out or the one who wishes to save it - you've asked yourself countless times... "When is enough, enough?" "When do I stop trying?"  "How can I know when it's best to end it?" Dr. Joe Beam gives you the points to consider when making those decisions. What's important. What's selfish. How to find the peace you need in your heart. Although Dr. Beam cannot tell you the exact moment...actually he won't tell you what you must do; instead he teaches the principles, makes them clear, and then leaves it to you to decide...in this program you can find the answer as to whether to fight for your marriage or end it. And if the decision is to fight, where to find the right help.

We receive so many questions ranging over so many aspects of marriage, relationships, love, sex, and more that we can't get to them all. This show helps alleviate that problem. Ask anything you wish about any of the topics in the paragraph above. Or other topics about relationships or marriage if there is something you would like to discuss. There will be a time limit to each call. Therefore, if you take too much time to tell your story, Dr. Beam won't have time to respond. Be succinct so that he can answer and you have time for clarifying questions or to disagree. At the end of the allotted time per caller, Dr. Beam will have to move to the next caller. It's live, February 23, beginning at 7 p.m. Central time. Listen at www.MarriageRadio.com, BlogTalkRadio or on your smart phone. Call 646-378-0424 during the program and press 1 when you hear the menu if you wish to speak with Dr. Beam. REMEMBER that for the sake of fairness, there will be a mandatory time limit to each caller.

How does sexually explicit material affect relationships? With your spouse or with your children? What can you do about it?  In this podcast, we interview Clay Olsen, co-founder of Fight The New Drug, a global movement focused on spreading the word on how this type of media affects relationships. As Fight The New Drug puts it, "it kills love. In this podcast, we talk about how sexually explicit material affects marriages, what to do if you have a spouse who is addicted and how to respond. We also talk about how to parent children in today's society, how to bring up the issue of sexually explicit material, and how to continue those conversations. For more about Fight the New Drug, visit fightthenewdrug.org. 

No matter the age, we hurt deeply when we feel abandoned by someone we thought loved us...or that should have loved us. The information in this program can be used effectively by an adult dealing with lost love, such as a divorce. It also gives effective directions for helping a spouse...or a potential spouse...risk loving you when deep inside they feel that they cannot trust anyone to always love them. In this program Dr. Joe Beam and Justin Prince, Program Director for the amazing service to kids What About Me, discuss seven stages kids go through when their parents fight and/or divorce. (Adults often go through the same seven...) This program gives specific steps and illustrates clearly that path that a parent can take to help his or her children risk loving again. Or help you risk loving again. And show you how to help someone you love trust you enough to love you. If you have children who have been affected by divorce, parental fighting, or death of a parent, this program is for you. If you went through these kinds of losses as a child, this program is for you. If a person you love has trouble loving you because of those kinds of losses, this program is for you.

When Dr. Tennov introduced the concept in the 1970s, it was mostly rejected. We encounter marriage counselors who have never heard of it. But the research is solid. PhD's including anthropologists and biologists and more study it, even having brain scans that teach us much about it. It's called limerence. It is a state of being "madly in love' to the point that it becomes obsessive and affects the way a person feels, acts, and thinks. It is powerful. It can be beautiful. It often is destructive. If you search the internet for the word, you'll find many sites discussing it. Unfortunately, some of those are by people who read an article or two - maybe even Tennov's book from back in the day - and think themselves knowledgeable. Some confidently cite things about limerence that Tennov said that we now know by further research not to be the case. Therefore, be careful with what you read on the internet about it. It may lead you to some very wrong conclusions...and those to very wrong actions. Our knowledge of limerence comes not only from continuing to examine scholarly research, but from the hundreds of thousands of people who have been through workshops, courses, and seminars developed by Dr. Joe Beam. We carefully observe people in our 911 workshops for marriages in crisis who are in limerence. We have done before and after scientific profiles on many. We have in-depth dialogue with others. We have found that limerence has three phases......and that limerence ends......always. In this program, Dr. Beam discusses the three phases of limerence. He explains what happens within the limerent during each. He explains shy some who end limerence don't go back to their lives as before...and how to help overcome limerence.  

When Dr. Tennov introduced the concept in the 1970s, it was mostly rejected. We encounter marriage counselors who have never heard of it. But the research is solid. PhD's including anthropologists and biologists and more study it, even having brain scans that teach us much about it. It's called limerence. It is a state of being "madly in love' to the point that it becomes obsessive and affects the way a person feels, acts, and thinks. It is powerful. It can be beautiful. It often is destructive. If you search the internet for the word, you'll find many sites discussing it. Unfortunately, some of those are by people who read an article or two - maybe even Tennov's book from back in the day - and think themselves knowledgeable. Some confidently cite things about limerence that Tennov said that we now know by further research not to be the case. Therefore, be careful with what you read on the internet about it. It may lead you to some very wrong conclusions...and those to very wrong actions. Our knowledge of limerence comes not only from continuing to examine scholarly research, but from the hundreds of thousands of people who have been through workshops, courses, and seminars developed by Dr. Joe Beam. We carefully observe people in our 911 workshops for marriages in crisis who are in limerence. We have done before and after scientific profiles on many. We have in-depth dialogue with others. We have found that limerence has three phases......and that limerence ends......always. In this program, Dr. Beam discusses the three phases of limerence. He explains what happens within the limerent during each. He explains shy some who end limerence don't go back to their lives as before...and how to help overcome limerence. Call 646-378-0424 during the program to talk with Dr. Beam. It begins 9 p.m. Central time January 31.

Maybe your marriage is wonderful. Maybe not. Either way, you're surrounded by friends or relatives whose marriages are in trouble. Most of our programs speak directly to those whose marriages need help. However, in this program, Dr. Joe Beam shares basic but valid knowledge with you so that when you encounter someone in marital distress, you can offer more than a kind word. No, it won't make you a counselor or therapist. It will help you know practical things to do or say that can offer help. If you're thinking that you shouldn't reach out to others if your marriage is in distress, think again. Not only will it help them, it can help you with your marriage. If you're happy with life as it is and don't want to get involved in the problems of others, please reconsider. Ignoring or avoiding hurting people now may come back at you later when you need help. We are all in this together. Dr. Beam and Kimberly Holmes (CEO of Marriage Helper) will guide you in how to help. They will also offer free access to more information that will equip you even further. If you wish to call during the program and ask questions about how to help a specific situation, or to clarify the information shared, please do so at 646-378-0424 during the live airing Tuesday night, January 24, beginning 9 p.m. Central time.  According to the CDC, the divorce rate in America is 3.1 per 1,000 population. That comes to more than a million divorces per year. (Of the 45 states that report marriage/divorce stats, there were 800,909 divorces in 2015. California, Georgia, Hawaii, Indiana, and Minnesota do not report marital stats. https://www.cdc.gov/nchs/data/dvs/national_marriage_divorce_rates_00-15.pdf) Isn't it time for all of us to do something about this. You can help. We'll show you how.