Something You Should Know

A lot of us tend to over-apologize. This episode begins with an explanation of why we do it and why we should stop doing it. Then when you do have to apologize, I’ll tell you how. (Source: Harriet Lerner author of the book “Why Won’t You Apologize” (https://amzn.to/37NoYug)) Sleep is important. It’s probably more important than most people realize in terms of health, performance and longevity. Joining me to explain just how important it is and how to make sure you are getting enough sleep is Dr. Jennifer Ashton, chief medical correspondent for ABC-TV and author of the book, The Self-Care Solution (https://amzn.to/2tlwDkw). Wash, condition, rinse. That’s how you wash your hair. But you might want to change up the order. I’ll explain how and the reasons why. http://www.rd.com/health/beauty/condition-before-shampoo/ Arguments and disagreements can be interesting but often not very productive. The reason may be that we are going at it all wrong. Julia Dhar is a partner at Boston Consulting Group and author of the book The Decision Maker’s Playbook (https://amzn.to/36MlZkq). She joins me to discuss some fascinating research on disagreements and she offers some excellent strategies to use when you disagree so that the conversation is actually productive – or at least not destructive.  

I know you’ve watched a sleeping dog twitch and move it's feet like it is running. So, is it just that the dog is dreaming or is there more to it than that? And should you be concerned if your dog does it? Listen and I’ll reveal what exactly is going on. https://www.mentalfloss.com/article/612590/why-dogs-twitch-in-their-sleep  People claim to want to find love. Then once they find it, it is hard to keep it alive. Why is that? Social anthropologist Helen Fisher author of the book Anatomy of Love: A Natural History of Mating, Marriage, and Why We Stray (http://amzn.to/2EvFAvd) returns to discuss the inner workings of love between 2 people, what often goes wrong and how to keep the romance alive. Helen was a guest on episode 147 talking about how to find love. You can hear it here: http://www.somethingyoushouldknow.net/147the-best-way-to-find-someone-to-love-how-to-come-up-with-better-ideas/ How many times have you heard someone complain about the bad weather and claim it causes their aches and pains to feel worse? Listen as I explore the science regarding the connection to weather and pain. http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-4105520/Don-t-blame-weather-pain-scientists-discover-no-linktwo.html When you create a goal for yourself, there is a tendency to focus on how hard or even painful it is going to be to achieve. There is some really interesting research that indicates that’s about the worst thing you can do. If you change the way you look at the goal, it becomes easier to achieve. One of the people conducting the research is Emily Balcetis a social psychologist and associate professor of psychology at New York University. She is author of the book Clearer, Closer, Better: How Successful People See the World (https://amzn.to/2RBvUF7) and she joins me to offer you advice on achieving your goals with less struggle.

New clothes are not necessarily CLEAN clothes. In fact, there is a good chance other people have worn your new clothes before you. We start this episode discussing why and how to wash new clothes before you wear them. http://www.goodhousekeeping.com/home/cleaning-organizing/germs-in-new-clothes Also, how self-aware are you? Do you really understand who you really are and do you understand how other people really see you? Surprisingly, few of us know – even though we like to think we do. Organizational psychologist Tasha Eurich author of the book Insight: Why We’re Not as Self-Aware as We Think (http://amzn.to/2psRFGC) explains how to become more self-aware and why it is important to your success at work and in life. Your 5 senses can affect your attitude and behavior –and it is going to sound strange. For example, feeling something soft can “soften” your personality. Feeling something warm can create warm feelings for another person. I know it sounds nuts but Dr. Thalma Lobel author of the book Sensation: The New Science of Physical Intelligence (http://amzn.to/2raTg7Y) explains the science behind this. More importantly, she reveals how to use this knowledge to your advantage.  Have you ever been stuck in a traffic jam that appears to have no cause? Listen as I reveal why that happens and other fascinating things about the way traffic does – and does not move. http://www.msn.com/en-us/autos/autoinnovation/just-a-few-self-driving-cars-on-the-highway-could-cut-random-traffic-jams-by-half/ar-AAfi1mD

It’s fun to play the lottery. If you do, you probably spend more on it than you think. This episode begins with a look at how much people really spend on lottery tickets and what the real odds are of winning the Powerball jackpot. http://www.fool.com/retirement/2017/01/07/heres-what-americans-are-spending-on-lottery-ticke.aspx eBay has made it a lot easier for people to sell stuff they don’t want anymore to someone who does want it. So, do you have stuff that other people want – and how much do you think it is worth? Aaron Lapedis author of The Garage Sale Millionaire (https://amzn.to/2NR3btP) is an expert on buying and selling stuff at garage sales, eBay, Craigslist and elsewhere. Listen as he tells you what just might be luring in old boxes in the attic that could be worth a lot of money. And what to do with it to get it sold. Sometimes you need to charge your phone fast. Listen as I explain some tips that can really speed up the process and getting your battery back up to 100%. Source: David Pogue author of "Pogue's Basics: Essential Tips & Shortcuts" (https://amzn.to/2RN1cb8) We have rules for sleep. For example, mom and dad sleep together in one room. Kids sleep in their room. We go to bed when we are supposed to – but says who? Where did these rules come? According to Benjamin Reiss, professor at Emory University and author of the book, Wild Nights (http://amzn.to/2lWdPP7) claims that our rules for sleeping today are very different than they have been for most of human history. Hear what he has to say and you be liberated from a sleep routine that doesn’t really work for you.

Don’t you hate it when people ignore your emails? Well, there may be something you are doing in your subject line that increases the odds you will be ignored. This episode starts by revealing what that is – and the simple fix. http://www.mediapost.com/publications/article/291896/subject-line-typos-decrease-email-engagementrates.html It appears to be human nature that bad things feel bad more than good things feel better. As an example, it feels worse to lose $20 than it feels good to win $20. It’s called the negativity effect. Consequently, we will do more to avoid bad things happening than we will do to make good things happen. This has amazing implications to your life you have likely never thought about.. John Tierney is a writer has researched and written a book about this called The Power of Bad: How The Negativity Effect Rules Us and How We Can Rule It (https://amzn.to/30Gn3EQ). He joins me to explain how the negativity effect plays a role in many parts of your life. Some people can swallow a pill without drinking water with it. But just because you can doesn’t mean you should. Listen as I explain the dangers of dry-swallowing medication. http://www.rd.com/health/wellness/swallowing-pills-without-water-danger/ Why do some people have so much trouble maintaining a reasonable body weight while it is no problem for others? While there is no simple answer a lot of it has to do with environment, genetics and how you respond to your sense of hunger. Joining me to discuss this and what science says can really work to lose weight and keep it off is Dr. Giles Yeo. He is a geneticist with over 20 years’ experience dedicated to researching the genetics of obesity and author of the book Gene Eating: The Science of Obesity and the Truth About Dieting (https://amzn.to/3arsV9C).

Every credit card bill comes with a due date. And if you pay the balance every month by the due date – you don’t pay any interest. But if you carry a balance month-to-month, the rules are different. You pay interest every day on the unpaid balance. So, the question is, if you make your payment earlier than the due date, do you save money? We start this episode by doing that math. http://www.bankrate.com/finance/credit-cards/pay-credit-card-bill-early-and-save-1.aspx Starting your own business is a romantic idea. But is it practical? Chris Guillebeau, author of The $100 Startup (http://amzn.to/2rc9dv4) shares the results of his fascinating research on people who started a successful business with very little money – and explains how anyone can do it. There is one particular app that is sucking your smartphone dry. And by that I mean it is sucking a lot of battery power and storage space. Which app is it? I’ll reveal which one and explain how you can easily live without it. http://mashable.com/2016/02/08/delete-facebook-app-iphone-battery/#OStOxq1kk8qi If you are one of those people (or you know one of those people) who works all the time and never takes a vacation or takes weekends off, you need to hear award-winning journalist Katrina Onstad, author of The Weekend Effect (http://amzn.to/2qPxRRl). She explores the harm this “all work – no fun” approach to life does to a person’s mental and physical health as well as to the quality of work they do.

If you breathe through your mouth you are doing it all wrong. This episode begins with a discussion on how to breathe properly and why breathing through your nose is so much better. http://www.breathing.com/articles/nose-breathing.htm Physical intelligence is that thing that allows you to never forget how to ride a bike or allows you to play a musical instrument or a sport. Scott Grafton teaches neuroscience at the University of California Santa Barbara and he is author of the book Physical Intelligence: The Science of How the Body and the Mind Guide Each Other Through Life (https://amzn.to/3aiI4dm). Scott joins me to explain how our physical intelligence helps us navigate the physical world and how our world is actually getting too easy for us to navigate.  No matter what your age is, your posture today is probably not as good as it used to be. Still, good posture is important and I discuss some things you can do (and not do) to improve your posture. http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-4082990/Don-t-old-tortoise-Want-old-age-head-held-highJust-follow-expert-s-brilliant-tips-fit-flexible-past-40.html#ixzz4UiBJYSuY You’ve probably heard the advice that too make a change you need to break it down into smaller steps. But maybe it would be better to break it down into even smaller – tiny steps. That’s what BJ Fogg says works better for humans. BJ Fogg is a social science research associate at Stanford and founder of the Stanford Behavior Design Lab. He is also author of the book Tiny Habits: The Small Changes that Change Everything (https://amzn.to/2RnpgRl). Listen as he explains how the tiniest of changes can lead to big and lasting changes in your life. This Week's Sponsors -Best Fiends. Download this fun mobile game for free on the Apple App Store or Google Play.

Have you heard of “Imposter Syndrome?” It’s that feeling that you don’t really deserve the success you have achieved. A lot of people suffer from it so we begin this episode with an explanation of where it comes from and how to stop feeling like such a fake so you can truly enjoy your success. http://mentalfloss.com/article/75699/what-imposter-syndrome-and-what-can-you-do-about-it Would you take relationship advice from a divorce lawyer? Think about it – who knows better why relationships fall apart than a seasoned divorce attorney? And perhaps with that knowledge you could reverse engineer a relationship, so it stays together. That’s what my guest James Sexton is going to discuss. James is a divorce lawyer and author of the book How to Stay in Love: Practical Wisdom from an Unexpected Source (https://amzn.to/39XlfvB). From his unique perspective he has some suggestions that I think will resonate with you and that you will find very practical if you want to keep your relationship or marriage going smoothly - or at least understand why it isn’t. One reason people eat yogurt is because it has bacteria in it that is supposed to be good for you. Well, it turns out it might not be as good for you as you think. Listen as I discuss what yogurt really does – or doesn’t do to promote “gut health.” http://www.businessinsider.com/ed-yong-explains-yogurt-not-healthy-2016-9 Your sense of taste is rather amazing. It turns out it is so much more than the flavor you experience on your tongue. And it also changes. Foods you hated as a kid you may enjoy as an adult. And why do you like some foods that other people hate? Camilla Arndal Andersen is a food scientist in Denmark who studies people’s sense of taste and she joins me to explain the fascinating, complicated and very subjective sense of taste. Camilla also has a TED talk on the subject which you can watch here: https://www.ted.com/talks/camilla_arndal_andersen_what_happens_in_your_brain_when_you_taste_food?language=en

People who overeat tend to do so at the same time on the same days. This episode begins with me telling you exactly when those times are so you can defend yourself against temptation. http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-2306736/Fat-oclock-7pm-Sunday-revealed-time-likely-comfort-eating.html Solving problems and developing new ideas doesn’t come from focus and concentration as much as it does from “unfocusing” and letting your mind wander. Psychiatrist Dr. Srini Pillay author of Tinker, Dabble, Doodle, Try: Unlock the Power of the Unfocused Mind (http://amzn.to/2pMIVy3) explains the science behind how the creative brain works better when it is distracted rather than when it is trying to be creative.  There is something called “double standard parenting.” In other words, when you accidentally break a lamp – well it’s just an accident. But what happens when your kid accidentally breaks a lamp? Does he or she get punished and shamed for doing it? We’ll explore some sage advice on why you shouldn’t hold your kids to higher standard than you hold yourself. Source: The Awakened Family by Dr. Shefali Tsabary (https://amzn.to/2R9kLtC). The world of video games isn’t all about war, aliens, shooting people and blowing things up. Andrew Ervin, author of Bit by Bit: How Video Games Transformed Our World (https://amzn.to/2NeohBU) reveals an entirely different world of video games and also discusses the importance of video games as a true art form.

Listening to music is more than just a pleasant experience. It is also good for you in several ways. This episode begins with a discussion of how valuable music is to your mental and physical well-being. http://www.emedexpert.com/tips/music.shtml Could your genes or microbes or even a parasite actually dictate parts of your personality? Likely so, according to Bill Sullivan, a professor at Indiana School of Medicine and author of the book Pleased to Meet Me: Genes, Germs and the Curious Forces That Make Us Who We Are (https://amzn.to/2t2VOYT). Listen as he explains how these forces can actually determine and even alter what makes you – you.  You’ve probably heard that you shouldn’t store tomatoes in the fridge or that you shouldn’t fry food in olive oil. These are just a couple of common kitchen practices that may not stand up to scientific scrutiny. Listen as I explain why. http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sciencetech/article-4539884/Should-continuously-stir-risotto-soak-onions.html It can sometimes be hard to explain something to someone so they really and truly get it. Listen as scientist, Dr. Dominic Walliman offers the four key ingredients that will help you explain anything to anyone. Link to Dominic’s YouTube Channel: https://bit.ly/2TaTOIW Link to Dominic’s books: https://amzn.to/39TRko7 Link to his TED talk: https://bit.ly/2FGCMKp

When a woman cries it can have a dramatic effect on a man. Not only because she is sad but also because of how hears smell – seriously. This episode begins with an explanation of the connection between a woman’s tears and a man’s testosterone. http://healthland.time.com/2011/01/06/the-crying-game-womens-tears-dial-down-testosterone/ Many New Year’s resolutions are about exercise because for some, staying active is hard to do. Well, for some amazing motivation, listen to Kelly McGonigal, research psychologist and lecturer at Stanford and author of the book, The Joy of Movement (https://amzn.to/2N2wide). Kelly explains not only the long-term benefits of movement but the instant and satisfying benefits of moving your body even just a little.  Why are there revolving doors? They are heavy and hard to push and some people hate them. So where did they come from and what was the original purpose. Listen to hear a very surprising story. https://www.mentalfloss.com/article/63378/whats-point-revolving-doors Talking to strangers can be tedious. After all, what’s the point of having a 15 second conversation with someone in line at the supermarket who you will never se again? Perhaps that is not the way to look at it. Kio Stark has been seeking out strangers to talk to for a long time. She loves it. Kio is author of the book When Strangers Meet (https://amzn.to/2s2ihEU). Listen to hear her explain why and what benefits you can get for investing in those brief conversations rather than avoiding them. You can see her TED talk here: https://www.ted.com/talks/kio_stark_why_you_should_talk_to_strangers

Want to keep your fresh cut flowers, fresher? My grandmother always said put aspirin in the water and I’ve also heard you should put a penny in the water or some sugar. Well someone actually tested all these things out – and you’ll hear the results and discover what works best. http://www.realsimple.com/home-organizing/gardening/gardening-flowers/keep-cut-flowers-fresh/flower-food You constantly receive criticism and feedback from people – some of it is welcome some not. Some of it is warranted and some of it not. So how can you learn to evaluate the feedback coming at you so you can determine what is true and what is false – and not get defensive? And then how do you use that feedback to your advantage? Sheila Heen author of the book, Thanks for the Feedback: The Science and Art of Receiving Feedback Well (http://amzn.to/2pelwW0) has studied this and you will find what she has to say extremely helpful. Why do so many marriages and relationships go bad? Dr Harville Hendrix has been studying relationships and has worked with couples for over 30 years. He has authored several books on the topic including Making Marriage Simple (http://amzn.to/2pYzh9k). He shares some incredible insight into how any relationship can be made better – instantly if at least one person is willing to make some simple changes. Who doesn’t love bacon? Just the smell of bacon cooking is enough to make you crave it. So what is it about bacon that makes it so desirable? I’ll explain the science of bacon in this episode. https://www.youtube.com/watch?t=133&v=27EBed9rzs8

Did you set any New Year’s resolutions? The chances of them sticking for a long time are pretty slim. However, there is something you can do to improve your odds. This episode begins with a strategy to help make life changes really stick. http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/new-years-resolutionspsychology_us_5862d599e4b0d9a59459654c Do you know what your circadian rhythm is? It’s your internal 24-hour clock that controls you in ways you probably never knew. Dr. Emily Manoogian is a post-doctoral fellow at the Salk Institute (https://inside.salk.edu/fall-2018/emily-manoogian/) and is an expert in chronobiology which is the study of our internal clocks and how they affect us. Emily joins me to explain how these clocks work and how they control your life. Watch her TED talk here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?time_continue=20&v=SrBYSinpEtU&feature=emb_logo Getting ice off your windshield in the morning can be a slow process. However there is a fast, safe and effective way to do it. Listen as I explain what it is. http://www.travelandleisure.com/travel-tips/defrost-car-windshield Some people like meetings but I suspect more people don’t. Why? Because meetings are often a waste of time. David Grady is a writer and communications expert who created an interesting TED talk on how to save the world from bad meetings (https://bit.ly/37CnJxE) and he joins me to discuss how to get out of meetings you shouldn’t be in – and how to make better the ones you do have to attend. 

As you just found out over the holidays, finding the right gift to someone can be difficult. However, there is some science to it that can make gift giving a little easier. This episode begins with some interesting insight on finding the right gifts for everyone the next time you need to. http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sciencetech/article-4017156/The-science-perfectgift-Focus-experiences-make-sure-usefull-NEVER-suprise-someone.html Have you ever wondered why you are the person you are? Where did your personality come from? Does it change – and can you change it if you want to? Christopher Soto is an associate professor of psychology at Colby College in Maine (http://www.colby.edu/psych/personality-lab/) and has studied personality for a long time. Listen as he explains why you are you and why you might be a better you, later on. Procrastination is generally considered to be a bad trait. Still, we all do it. So maybe it isn’t all bad – maybe it serves a purpose. Dominic Vogue is Senior Associate Director of The McGraw Center for Teaching and Learning at Princeton University (https://mcgraw.princeton.edu) and is an expert on the subject of procrastination. I think you’ll find what he has to say quite fascinating and may make you feel less guilty the next time you decide to put something off.  Police give out speeding tickets for several reasons: they punish fast drivers, they deter other drivers from speeding and they are a source of revenue for government. But there is also a problem. The practice of handing out speeding tickets can be dangerous. Listen as I explain why. http://www.roadandtrack.com/car-culture/news/a31850/study-finds-that-strict-speedenforcement-is-actually-a-danger/

What’s your favorite sleep position? It turns out that one sleep position is better than the others for eliminating “brain waste” and preventing Alzheimer’s Disease, Parkinson’s and other brain problems. In this episode, you’ll discover the best way to sleep. https://www.sciencealert.com/sleeping-on-your-side-could-reduce-alzheimer-s-and-parkinson-s-risk-study-finds How do you spot a liar? It’s not just one or two things – you have to understand the process of determining whether someone is being deceptive. Listen as Maryann Karinch, co-author of the book How to Spot a Liar (https://amzn.to/2QDEMYZ), helps you become a better truth detector. With all the texts, and memos and emails and reports you write – you probably strive to make your writing effective - right? Laura Brown, author of How to Write Anything: A Complete Guide (https://amzn.to/2MH8c7B) – and an expert writer herself – offers some simple ways to punch up and improve your writing so that people understand you and your message is crystal clear. What’s in your garage? Some of the things you probably have in there are better off somewhere else, according to Home & Garden magazine. We’ll explore what things you should either get rid of or bring into the house.