The Complete Guide to Everything

Breaking up is hard sometimes, but we do our best to let you down easy this week with our discussions of harebrains, literal baby cakes, real monsters, how good of swimmers we are and easy ways to break up with someone else. We also tear down New York Times Paywall by proving we never needed them in the first place.

In the third part of our acclaimed "Dating" series, we take a look at the "seduction community" and strange process in which some people try to woo members of the opposite sex. We also talk about chivalry in modern times, and cover "the bases" for those not in the know. 

We begin our "The Complete Guide to Everything: Myths and Legends" series off with a bang, gunning for public enemy number 1: The Loch Ness Monster. Also, Tom submits his evolutionary thesis concerning unattractive people and fetishists.

Hey! You like candy? Of course you do! This week we discuss different types of candy, teen clothing stores, a legitimately sad news story, Rebecca Black and the reason why women find George Clooney so damn attractive. Also Tim & Tom solve a reader's utterly ridiculous problem.

A quick update on the trials and tribulations of Tom getting coffee, Tim discusses wasting his life away all because of Gordon Ramsay, a psychological exploration into the minds of patrons to restaraunts featured on Kitchen Nightmares. Also we talk about Freegans in our New York Times segment and we solve some problems with Facebook snooping.

In this episode we discuss the upcoming TCGTE live show in London and all the wonderful, amazing things that will happen there. Then we get down to business and talk about the hot topic everyone is dying to hear about: getting a haircut. We also give advice to businesses large and small about setting up elaborate Candid Camera-style job interviews and Tom tries to sell unsuspecting listeners gold coins.

Personal space while trying to get coffee, waiting in line drunk for an iPad 2, learning about sex first hand at Northwestern University, not learning about sex at all at Brigham Young University and we solve a problem involving a horse.

Inspired by Tim's weeklong bout with the flu in which he did little more than watch daytime television non-stop in a feverish haze, Tom and Tim discuss the sorry state of TV programming that most normal people do not watch. We also cover Tom's recent airplane mishaps (AIRPLANE HUMOR!!!), as he was recently traveling the world like the fancy jetsetter he is.

Hey guys, remember the 90s? We sure do, and in this episode we talk about 90s rock music. We discuss an encounter with Lisa Loeb that proves she is the nicest person in history, rock stars that we wish we had as aunts, the bizarre popularity of the band Live and a whole bunch of other stuff you probably were happy to not think about for the past 11 years. We also talk about feral cats, how fake smiles make you die on the inside and getting caught up in dry cleaning bags.

Who likes gambling? In this episode we give you all the tips on how to win it big at the casino. But that's not all. We'll also give you tips on not falling for Tim's shoes before pants Inception, explain how cans work, and give you some real advice on adult problems.

This week we catch you up on what's been in the news lately. And, boy oh boy, has there been a lot in the news. We discuss the gone-too-soon Jack LaLanne, social networking revolutions, muscle-bound hipsters, apprehension regarding the new Muppet movie and a lot more.

A very special all Tim & Tom Solve Your Romance Problems episode this week, just in time for Valentine's Day. Don't give up on your love life until you've tried Tim & Tom's advice for love. With solutions ranging from lying about patents you hold to soliciting the services of your local hobo you're sure to find the answer to any and all matters of the heart.

In this episode we tell you everything you need to know about the big football game. Also, we improve on some well-known catchphrases, talk about the various other "bowl" games, discuss Taco Bell meat, Maxim magazine and other stuff dudes talk about.

This week Tim eats too much candy, we talk about getting dogs drunk and making them work in stores, Starbucks new size is addressed as well as topless men at Hollister. Then we move onto modern game shows, namely Who Wants to be a Millionaire?, creepy Jeopary robots, raising the stakes in game show video games where you don't actually win anything, Tim teases his Meredith Vieira story, some Internet jerk steals our idea and gets $1 million dollars so we start selling shirts. Also we solve someone's problem concerning Matthew McConaughey moving too fast.

Stop reading newspapers and watching television, we have all the news you need to know right here. This week we cover the changing of the astrological signs, the Verizon iPhone and a whole lot about Macauley Culkin. What else could you possibly need to know?