Practical NLP Podcast

This week, some ideas for how to use NLP in sales and influencing generally – any situation where you want someone to change their mind. This episode also introduces the CRAFT model for influence or sales. The CRAFT Model For Using NLP In Selling And Influencing (Note: whether we are aiming to influence someone or sell them something, we want them to change their minds – so to cover all cases we have referred to the potential customer or ‘influencee’ as the ‘change candidate’ below) 1. Credibility Establish your credibility – congruence, authority, social proof, command tonality. Anticipate and preframe out potential objections (give credible examples that counter objections before the ‘change candidate’ even thinks of them) 2. Rapport Establish rapport – responsiveness, understanding, friendliness, matching, positive body language/voice tone. Notice what you can about the change candidate’s values. 3. Away-froms Establish/discover the problems that the change candidate faces. 4. Future Implications Explore/ emphasise what will happen if they don’t make a change – you are aiming to ramp up the away-from motivation here. Go as far into the future as you need to in order to get them to realise the seriousness of their problems. 5. Towards your proposed solution Present your proposed solution. Use ‘because’ to give reasons to hit both towards and away-from motivations. The CRAFT Model © Andy Smith and Coaching Leaders Duration: 7m 09s Listen and/or subscribe to this podcast via iTunes here – and if you like the podcast, please leave a review! If you want to subscribe using something other than iTunes (e.g. if you have an Android phone), here’s the feed:  http://nlppod.com/feed/podcast/ Again, if you like the podcast, please review it on iTunes – because even if you’re not an iTunes subscriber yourself, that’s where most people still find their podcasts, so that’s where your review will make the most difference. Only the most recent 10 episodes of the podcast are available free on iTunes. You can download collected back episodes (with transcripts!) from the online store.

Follow the steps in the 123-XL Model to be a better negotiator. With some tips on how you can use your NLP skills to get better results in negotiation. Includes: 3 ways to look at the negotiation 6 common tactical errors in negotiation - and what to do instead Useful negotiation tactics from NLP How to learn from the negotiation to get a better result next time, whether it went well or badly ... and much more! The 123-XL Model © Andy Smith Duration: 11m 52s Listen and/or subscribe to this podcast via iTunes here – and if you like the podcast, please leave a review! If you want to subscribe using something other than iTunes (e.g. if you have an Android phone), here’s the feed:  http://nlppod.com/feed/podcast/ Again, if you like the podcast, please review it on iTunes – because even if you’re not an iTunes subscriber yourself, that’s where most people still find their podcasts, so that’s where your review will make the most difference. Only the most recent 10 episodes of the podcast are available free on iTunes. You can download back episodes (with transcripts!) from the online store. Books recommended in the episode: Getting To Yes by Roger Fisher and William Ury - not NLP, but the classic book on negotiation Buy it from Amazon.co.uk | Amazon.com   Influencing With Integrity: Management Skills for Communication and Negotiation by Genie Z Laborde - has a good negotiation chapter Buy it from Amazon.co.uk | Amazon.com   Plus another new book I haven't read yet but the authors say very interesting things about negotiations in interviews I've heard: Friend & Foe: When to cooperate, when to compete, and how to succeed at both by Adam Galinsky and Maurice Schweitzer Buy it from Amazon.co.uk | Amazon.com

This week, tips from NLP (and a few other areas like Emotional Intelligence) to run more effective meetings! Includes: 'Managers vs Makers' - why managers love meetings and makers hate them What to do when people go off on a tangent Two kinds of unproductive participants and how to deal with them How to handle disagreements ... and much more! The MODEM, RASTA and DRUBS formats mentioned in the podcast are summarised in this article. Duration: 10m 06s Listen and/or subscribe to this podcast via iTunes here – and if you like the podcast, please leave a review! If you want to subscribe using something other than iTunes (e.g. if you have an Android phone), here’s the feed:  http://nlppod.com/feed/podcast/ Again, if you like the podcast, please review it on iTunes – because even if you’re not an iTunes subscriber yourself, that’s where most people still find their podcasts, so that’s where your review will make the most difference. Only the most recent 10 episodes of the podcast are available free on iTunes. You can download back episodes (with transcripts!) from the online store.  

This week on the Practical NLP Podcast, the most important thing you need to know about changing people's minds - something that many of those 'Influence with NLP' and 'Get anyone to do anything you want' courses out there don't tell you. It's this: the state that your audience are in is going to have more bearing on the outcome of your meeting or presentation than any fancy language patterns or persuasion tricks you may have up your sleeve. So, here are some practical ways to pick your audiences and to help them get into a state that is more open to what you have to say. A hat tip for some of the ideas in this episode goes to Seth Godin and his article ‘I changed my mind yesterday'. This earlier article of mine is more or less the show notes for this episode, as it covers similar material. Duration: 5m 54s Listen and/or subscribe to this podcast via iTunes here - and if you like the podcast, please leave a review! If you want to subscribe using something other than iTunes (e.g. if you have an Android phone), here’s the feed:  http://nlppod.com/feed/podcast/ Again, if you like the podcast, please review it on iTunes - because even if you're not an iTunes subscriber yourself, that's where most people still find their podcasts, so that's where your review will make the most difference. Only the most recent 10 episodes of the podcast are available free on iTunes. You can download back episodes (with transcripts!) from the online store.

Have you noticed how people tend to act up a bit when they are under pressure? The eminent therapist Virginia Satir found identified 5 typical patterns of behaviour that people tend to fall into when they are stressed. If you're aware of them, and even more importantly aware of your own patterns, you can start deciding how to handle them better. Knowledge is power! Also in this podcast - how to learn from those 'difficult' people - even the worst of them! What if they were sent to teach you something? Find out how in this week's podcast. Duration: 9m 53s Listen and/or subscribe to this podcast via iTunes here - and if you like the podcast, please leave a review! If you want to subscribe using something other than iTunes (e.g. if you have an Android phone), here’s the feed:  http://nlppod.com/feed/podcast/ Again, if you like the podcast, please review it on iTunes - because even if you're not an iTunes subscriber yourself, that's where most people still find their podcasts, so that's where your review will make the most difference. Only the most recent 10 episodes of the podcast are available free on iTunes. You can download back episodes (with transcripts!) from the online store. Show Notes 'Satir Categories' 1. The Placater Automatic response is to believe that everything is his or her fault. The Placater is always trying to please others and always apologising. Defining posture: symmetrical open physiology, looking up at you, arms outstretched, palms upward and moving up Language: qualifiers-only,even,just,alittle;could,would;“I don’t know” 2. The Blamer Loud, tyrannical, finger-pointing - it’s always someone else’s fault. Harsh, shouting voice. Feels lonely inside. Defining posture: In your face, leaning forward, pointing the finger at you Language: universals - all, every, never; negative questions - “Why can’t you ever listen?”; CE violations - “You’re always making me angry” 3. The Computer Dry, cool, super-reasonable, takes a detached view of everything. Stands rigidly, as if cut off from everything happening below the neck. The body is just a means to convey the brain from place to place. Often stands back with his arms folded or one hand raised to his chin. Can rationalise anything, retreating into abstractions to escape his feelings. Intellect is important to the Computer; feelings are not to be trusted. Defining posture: rigid, leaning backwards Language: Abstract words, passive voice, nominalisations; "There was an agreement” rather than “we agreed” 4. The Distracter Always changing the subject, never answering a question directly, the Distracter feels ignored and will interrupt constantly to be noticed. Often has a repertoire of accents and funny voices - anything to avoid being serious or grown-up. Defining posture: angular, always moving, lopsided. Identifying language: anything, as long as it’s not relevant; "I don't know", "It's not my fault. Can cycle through elements of the other four categories. 5. The Leveller Congruent, calm, solid, confident, authoritative. Defining posture: symmetrical, upright, centred, hands moving downward, palms down and spreading. Identifying language: "this is the way it is", "this is true". How To Learn From 'Difficult' People Think of a person who does something that you don’t like. What is the positive intention behind their behaviour? Put yourself in their shoes and see things from their point of view (NB don’t do this with seriously disturbed people). See yourself briefly through their eyes. What do you learn from this different viewpoint? If that person’s behaviour had a positive intention towards ...

Everyone loves getting feedback! No? Don't worry, here are some ideas from NLP for giving effective feedback (and what not to do) - plus how to learn from criticism, whether it's malicious or just from someone who isn't skilled at giving feedback, while still staying in a resourceful emotional state. Duration: 6m 42s Listen and/or subscribe to this podcast via iTunes here - and if you like the podcast, please leave a review! If you want to subscribe using something other than iTunes (e.g. if you have an Android phone), here’s the feed:  http://nlppod.com/feed/podcast/ Again, if you like the podcast, please review it on iTunes - because even if you're not an iTunes subscriber yourself, that's where most people still find their podcasts, so that's where your review will make the most difference. Only the most recent 10 episodes of the podcast are available free on iTunes. You can download back episodes (with transcripts!) from the online store. Show Notes The 'Feedback Sandwich' This wraps the criticism up in two compliments, making it even easier to swallow. Start with what you liked about what the other person did. Then tell them what you would like them to change about what they did (if anything). Tell them more about what you liked. If you use this model ‘mechanically’, people could end up expecting a criticism as soon as they hear any praise. To prevent this, just give praise or positive feedback on its own whenever it’s due. For more about how to use this technique, listen to the podcast! Strategies for learning from criticism The easy way: When someone criticises you, do you accept it and take it to heart - or, do you keep it at arm's length to examine it first? When someone praises you, do you accept it and take it to heart - or, do you keep it at arms length to examine it first? Accept praise and take it in uncritically. "What if they don't mean it?" you may ask. Do it anyway. Do it more! It will drive them nuts. And stop criticism at arm’s length in your perceptual space and examine it before accepting it. How justified is it? What really happened? How qualified is this person to offer feedback? If you're being heavily criticised, you need to maintain your state. Centre yourself and imagine an ‘energy bubble’ around you that deflects all criticism, stress and negative emotions. Take all criticisms as applying to the behaviour level only, no matter how they are phrased. Later, when it’s safe, examine the criticisms using one or both of the next two options. Decide what ‘Level of Change’ you are going to take the criticism at - regardless of the level that the critic has aimed it at. Take a detached view: Dissociate from the ‘other self’ receiving the criticism (float up above). Keep the other self in a resourceful state. Run a movie in your head of what the critic is saying, and another movie of your experience of what happened, and compare them. Learn what you need to learn and discard the rest. Again, for more detail on these techniques, listen to the podcast.

Use this process to improve any working relationship, especially with a 'difficult' person. The Perceptual Positions process is one of the most useful patterns to come out of NLP. It gives you a way of looking at any interpersonal problem from three different viewpoints - yours, the other person's, and a detached perspective that sees both of you as part of a wider system. Includes: Why it's not really the other person that you have a problem with What 'first position', 'second position' and 'third position' mean in NLP The advantages of each position in terms of the information it gives you The downsides of getting stuck in any one position How to use Perceptual Positions to improve your relationships - a step-by-step guide ... and much more! Duration: 09m 22s Listen and/or subscribe to this podcast via iTunes here If you want to subscribe using something other than iTunes (e.g. if you have an Android phone), here’s the feed:  http://nlppod.com/feed/podcast/ (you'll need an app like Podkicker, available free from the Google Play store, to get the podcast from this feed). Only the most recent 10 episodes of the podcast are available free on iTunes. You can download back episodes (with transcripts!) from the online store. Image adapted from 'Users linked' icon by Freepik from www.flaticon.com

This episode rounds off our consideration of some of the most useful metaprograms for business, covering the 'Sameness/Difference' and 'Options/Procedures' patterns. This week's episode includes: How to tell how much change each of your team members needs (and will tolerate!) Why consultants working in organisational change often get frustrated with regular people How to present change in a way that will minimise resistance Why you should know how to influence 'Options' people better Opening up some possibilities for influencing 'Procedures' people ... and much more! If you notice a little extra sparkle in the sound quality this week, it's because this episode has been expertly 'mastered' by Ross Winter at http://podcastpolishing.com. In the podcast I mention this book quite a lot – it’s a very accessible must-read for coaches and managers! Words That Change Minds by Shelle Rose Charvet – order it from Amazon via these links: Paperback: UK | US | Canada | Other Amazon stores Kindle: UK | US | Canada | Other Amazon stores Duration: 11m 09s Listen and/or subscribe to this podcast via iTunes here If you want to subscribe using something other than iTunes (e.g. if you have an Android phone), here’s the feed:  http://nlppod.com/feed/podcast/ Only the most recent 10 episodes of the podcast are available free on iTunes. You can download back episodes (with transcripts!) from the online store.

This week, some more metaprograms, the content-free filters that determine what we pay attention to. In this episode we’re considering the General or Specific, Proactive or Reactive, and Internal or External Frame of Reference metaprograms. Includes: How to spot if someone is a big-picture or detail person from the language they use Why you need to be comfortable with abstraction to reach the top levels of your organisation How to discover how much feedback someone needs with just one simple question Why your direct reports may get apprehensive as their annual appraisal looms, and what you can do about it ... And much more! In the podcast I mention this book quite a lot – it’s a very accessible must-read for coaches and managers! Words That Change Minds by Shelle Rose Charvet – order it from Amazon via these links: Paperback: UK | US | Canada | Other Amazon stores Kindle: UK | US | Canada | Other Amazon stores Duration: 12m 40s Listen and/or subscribe to this podcast via iTunes here If you want to subscribe using something other than iTunes (e.g. if you have an Android phone), here’s the feed:  http://nlppod.com/feed/podcast/ Only the most recent 10 episodes of the podcast are available free on iTunes. You can download back episodes (with transcripts!) from the online store.

Metaprograms in NLP are one of the sets of filters we use to create our map of the world. They run 'in the background' so we are usually not consciously aware of them. They drive: what we pay attention to what we respond to what motivates us how we interact with the people around us the kind of language that will influence us This podcast introduces metaprograms (and five reasons you need to know about them!) and takes an in-depth look at one of the most important ones, the "Towards/Away From" motivation filter. In the podcast I mention this book quite a lot - it's a very accessible must-read! Words That Change Minds by Shelle Rose Charvet - order it from Amazon via these links: Paperback: UK | US | Canada | Other Amazon stores Kindle: UK | US | Canada | Other Amazon stores Duration: 11m 28s Listen and/or subscribe to this podcast via iTunes here If you want to subscribe using something other than iTunes (e.g. if you have an Android phone), here’s the feed:  http://nlppod.com/feed/podcast/ Only the most recent 10 episodes of the podcast are available free on iTunes. You can download back episodes (with transcripts!) from the online store.

This week's podcast covers one of the most useful models in NLP - the 'Logical Levels' or 'Neuro-Logical Levels' model developed by Robert Dilts. This is a powerful map for coaching individuals, and is also a useful way to analyse change in a team or organisation. It's even applicable in the field of branding. The podcast includes: Why moving house may not be enough on its own to solve your neighbour problems Why many training courses don't have a lasting effect Why Hollywood produces so many duff copycat films and sequels How to use Levels of Change to improve the performance of your team ... and much more! Show notes: the model is outlined in this post on my other blog: Using the NLP ‘Logical Levels’ model with Appreciative Inquiry (if you're really interested in this model, check the comments section of that post for a snapshot of why some people in NLP say it's not really NLP, and references to some associated critiques of it - only worth doing if you're a real NLP nerd though) Duration: 19m 02s Listen and/or subscribe to this podcast via iTunes here If you want to subscribe using something other than iTunes (e.g. if you have an Android phone), here’s the feed:  http://nlppod.com/feed/podcast/ Only the most recent 10 episodes of the podcast are available free on iTunes. You can download back episodes (with transcripts!) from the online store.

Parts Integration (also known as the 'Visual Squash') is one of the most powerful changework techniques in NLP. In this podcast we guide you through it and show you how it works. As usual with changework techniques, don't try this yourself on serious problems! Always consult a competent professional. However, if you want to try out parts integration with a dilemma or something you feel 'in two minds' about, go ahead. In this week's episode: What we mean by 'parts' in NLP How they are formed Why demonising bad habits often makes them worse How to integrate conflicting parts Alternate ways of getting parts to work together Duration: 13m 45s Listen and/or subscribe to this podcast via iTunes here If you want to subscribe using something other than iTunes (e.g. if you have an Android phone), here’s the feed:  http://nlppod.com/feed/podcast/ Only the most recent 10 episodes of the podcast are available free on iTunes. You can download back episodes (with transcripts!) from the online store. Photo by al71/freeimages.com

'Incongruence' is when someone is in two minds about something, or when their behaviour doesn't match their words. It can be simultaneous (wanting two different things, being stuck in a dilemma) or sequential (acting one way some of the time, and maybe the opposite way at other times). Other people can usually spot when you're behaving incongruently long before you do. This week's podcast includes: How incongruence can torpedo a leader How to discover your own 'incongruence signal' How to challenge incongruence in others without damaging your relationship with them When and how to use 'intentional incongruence' ... and much more! The great US NLP trainer Jonathan Altfeld is mentioned in the podcast - you can find him here Duration: 9m 09s Listen and/or subscribe to this podcast via iTunes here If you want to subscribe using something other than iTunes (e.g. if you have an Android phone), here’s the feed:  http://nlppod.com/feed/podcast/ Only the most recent 10 episodes of the podcast are available free on iTunes. You can download back episodes (with transcripts!) from the online store.

A useful way to look at 'problem' behaviours is to remember there is a positive intention behind them. Separating the intention from the results (which may be unwanted) opens up the possibility of change without 'resistance'. John Grinder's 'Six Step R...

In the last few episodes we’ve been talking about strategies. I'd like to round off this section by mentioning a powerful NLP technique for doing things better or installing new strategies - the New Behaviour Generator. As far as I know, this method was developed by Richard Bandler. It's like positive mental rehearsal on steroids! These are the steps: Describe a behaviour you would like to be able to do, or how you would like to be able to do something better. Start from a belief and internal dialogue of 'I can do this'. Create a mental 'movie' in which you see yourself doing the new behaviour the way you want. Make sure the picture is big, bright and vivid. Add sound so that you see and hear yourself. Adjust the movie until you are satisfied with the new behaviour. (Extra tip: for many people, looking up and to your right as you do this will help. For a few people - usually if you're left-handed - looking up and to your left will work better. And I should probably add that some people won’t notice much of a difference, but you won’t know until you try it.) Step into the 'movie' and check how this feels. Make any further adjustments you need to until you feel the way you want. (Extra tip: for most people, looking down towards your dominant hand will help you get in touch with what you are feeling). Imagine seeing yourself use the new behaviour in three or more opportunities in the future to generalise the new ability out. Again, looking up will help you to visualise. Some extra refinements: Use a role model: When you create your mental movies you can use a 'role model' who you know can do the desired behaviour well. Run a dissociated movie of that person performing the behaviour (Step 2) and then 'become' that person in Step 3. Then repeat Steps 2 and 3 with yourself in the movie, making any changes you need to. Use resources from your past: if you have dealt with similar situations well in the past, see yourself doing that and then transfer that skill into the new situation. 'Chunk' the behaviour down: if you need to, break the desired behaviour down into smaller steps and run through the dissociated and associated mental movies on each. Use a timeline: lay a timeline out on the floor, from past to future. See yourself enjoying the results of the desired behaviour and place this goal on the timeline. Step into it, get the good feelings, and notice the steps and any new behaviours associated with them leading up to the successful achievement of this goal.Step off the timeline and notice where each new behaviour step is on the timeline.Repeat the dissociated and associated mental movies for each new behaviour. Finally walk up the timeline from now, associating into each step, until you reach your goal. Store your goal and the new behaviours associated with it wherever feels right for you. Create alternatives: before you run the mental movies, ask your unconscious mind to create at least 3 options for new behaviours. Try out each and select the most appropriate. So, why not select something you'd like to do better and give the New Behaviour Generator a try? Leave a comment to let us know how you got on! Duration: 4m54s Listen and/or subscribe to this podcast via iTunes here If you want to subscribe using something other than iTunes (e.g. if you have an Android phone), here’s the feed:  http://nlppod.com/feed/podcast/ For the most convenient way to listen to this podcast on iPhone, iPad, Android phone or tablet, get the free Practical NLP Podcast app for iOS or Android devices (phones and tablets).