90 Seconds on The Verge

Stay tuned for the Angry Birds re-release where the birds shoot first, the cast of Angry Birds Space appear in all the level backgrounds, and Jesse Eisenberg (as Blu from Rio) narrates all the cutscenes. Coming soon in 4K 3D to your Google Glass headset and Apple television sets.

"So glad of this as they I cannot be, / Who are surprised withal; but my rejoicing / At nothing can be more. I'll to my book, / For yet ere supper-time must I perform / Much business appertaining." [Exit]

"If we shadows have offended, / Think but this, and all is mended, / That you have but slumber'd here / While these visions did appear. / And this weak and idle theme, / No more yielding but a dream, / Gentles, do not reprehend: / if you pardon, we will mend: / And, as I am an honest Puck, / If we have unearned luck / Now to 'scape the serpent's tongue, / We will make amends ere long; / Else the Puck a liar call;"

"I came yonder from a great supper: the prince your brother is royally entertained by Leonato: and I can give you intelligence of an intended marriage." "Will it serve for any model to build mischief on? What is he for a fool that betroths himself to unquietness?" Spoiler: Hero doesn't die

"Hist! Romeo, hist! O, for a falconer's voice, / To lure this tassel-gentle back again! / Bondage is hoarse, and may not speak aloud; / Else would I tear the cave where Echo lies, / And make her airy tongue more hoarse than mine, / With repetition of my Romeo's name." Spoiler: Romeo and Juliet die

"O, I die, Horatio; / The potent poison quite o'er-crows my spirit: / I cannot live to hear the news from England; / But I do prophesy the election lights / On Fortinbras: he has my dying voice; / So tell him, with the occurrents, more and less, / Which have solicited. The rest is silence." Spoiler: Hamlet dies. Stories of the day: Kindle Paperwhite review Barnes & Noble Simple Touch with Glowlight drops to $119, matches ad-supported Kindle Paperwhite Ping, Apple's failed music-focused social network, is officially closed as of today IKEA plans to sell only LED lighting by 2016

Two all-beef patties, special sauce, lettuce, cheese, pickles, onions — all on a sesame seed bun. Two all-beef patties, special sauce, lettuce, cheese, pickles, onions — all on a sesame seed bun. Two all-beef patties, special sauce, lettuce, cheese, pickles, onions — all on a sesame seed bun.

"Okay, so what if I do the dance over by the couch in the background? The gallup?" "Nope. No dance." "Alright, then how about this. I'm in a lounge chair like I'm on a beach. And we call up Jared's little cousin to dance—" "Nope. We're not doing it." "Of course, of course... but okay, hear me out. Little bit of production required. How about on the vertical monitor, instead of the 'V' logo, instead it's two elevator doors opening. And I'm in the prone position between my own legs as the standing version of me is dry humping the air." "What? Dude... no." "Okay, then how about you roll up your suit jacket sleaves and dance to your own beat. I'll just stand perfectly still out of the shot." "Now thatI'm okay with."

Fun fact: in the Wikipedia article for "Mobile phone form factor," the third entry (behind brick and bar) is "taco" — as in, the Nokia N-Gage looks like a taco. Think about that for a second: the "taco" phone form factor has more prominence than flip, slide, swivel, and watch. This is the N-Gage's legacy.

90 Seconds on The Verge: Monday, September 24, 2012 (video)

Well, it took us four times as long as normal to find our way to the Verge Studios today (thanks a lot, iOS Maps), but we made it. And just in time, because it turns out there's lots to talk about. Like all the news you missed while you waited in line for an iPhone 5, or while you were on a plane that won't let you use your cell phone... for now. Or while you were jumping for joy because Verizon finally let Google's latest sweets out of its coffers, meaning our great national nightmare is finally over. We know you've gotta get down on Friday, so we're going to give you all the news in a minute and a half. It's 90 Seconds on The Verge, It's The Last Day of Summer So Go Be Outside Edition.

It's always disappointing that we don't have more options to show off the beating heart of The Verge. The support staff. The unsung heroes. The ones who dress up way better than anyone else despite never having to be on the front lines. This all feels like a shame — so for all those reasons, here's our wonderful product database manager William Savona filling in as today's host!

90 Seconds on The Verge Version 6.1. New features: fitter, happier, more productive, more Dan Seifert, comfortable, not drinking too much, regular exercise, turn-by-turn direction. Note: some features are not currently available in every country. Stories of the day: HTC's new 8X and 8S with Windows Phone 8: the full story Sony debuts redesigned slim PlayStation 3 console, coming as bundle September 25th iOS 6 update rolling out now for iPhone, iPad, and iPod touch

It's arbitrary milestone day! 90 Seconds on The Verge hit the big six-zero, which by our calculations means we're about 90 minutes old. 90 minutes of 90 Seconds feels like something nice and even — plus we're now officially a feature-length film! Sure, it's a rather repetitive film that borrows rather obviously from a few other cinematic masterpieces (The Princess Bride, Star Wars), but hey, at least we hatched SB Nation's Dan Rubenstein out of an egg during our halcyon minutes.

A web video series? "That's right. When I was your age, holographic projections were called web video. And this is a special web video series. It was the web video series my father used to play for me when I was sick, and I used to play it for your father. I'm gonna play it for you." Has it got any sport in it? "Are you kidding? Standing, talking, torture, revenge, bearded giants, chases, escapes, forced dialog, miracles..." Doesn't sound too bad, I'll try to stay awake. "Oh, well, thank you very much, very nice of you. Your vote of confidence is overwhelming. It's only 90 seconds anyway."