Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura

Yes and no. We both do and do not know what you're saying in this, the ultimate You Know What I'm Sayin sound off. We provide insight into every race and culture's attempt to say what they're saying. Do you know what each of them mean? Perhaps Tom should add to his "Black vault" of voices as he nails the homeless, nude gay man getting penetrated in the streets. Don't disrespect judges, know what we're all sayin? Lots of music in this one plus some choice Would You Rather's. Give your mother a hug! J-J-J-Jeans Unit! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

When you find something you love to do in life, don't settle for anything but being the best. Even if that thing is taking it in every hole all day until your insides fall out of you. That's what Ava Devine has done and we have the audio to prove it. Plus Theo gets on the mic after a little hiatus and he is pretty fired up. Everyone has fun when they fart. Everyone plays with their butt cheeks to throw the pitch of their farts. Well, everyone EXCEPT Tina. Tina claims she does NOT do this and the mommies get to the bottom of the truth. REAL TALK is back with something beyond comprehension - eating ones own mattress. Oh boy, you better buckle your belt (that you wear to support your jeans).    Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Holla if you down, but you wear your jeans up! 200, ya'll. We kickin it strong and we owe it to you, the little Mommy. We celebrate with great new audio of someone we think might be related to Tom - after all it's man in Cincy and he tells your "right" where to put it. So many mommy tunes, so little time. We honor your musical talents by playing some of the songs that got away and they are AMAZING, you know what I'm sayin? Oh my, oh my, is there a new contestant throwing his hat into the ring of most impressive mentions of Know What I'm Sayin. Well, do you? Mommy shout outs and more! PLEASURE! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

We are the Mommies 24 - 7, baby. Whatever you done heard, you can forget that. We are who we are and that's that! When Carla goes to Wendy(sic) or Burger King she doesn't get the respect she is owed (MacDonald's(sic) doesn't do her like that). Who is the real leader of sayin "you know what I'm sayin?" Do you know what we're asking here? If you have a whole weight, keep going. Make yourself very, very fat and then make videos and money. Your dreams can be your reality! Plus you know we got that JJ Fish joint you been dying to hear. Get those jeans on and PULL THEM UP. "No, you have a good muthaf***in' night." - Carla Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

No more juice for the Main Mommy. Tommy drank something gnarly which made fluids come out of all of his holes - which delayed today's ep. Buns is farting and puking and sweating, but he's still here for you. What if you have no teeth, but you love certain sex acts? You shouldn't hide in shame, you should make songs about it. Leon Lewis knows what we're talkin' bout! Oasis was one of the biggest bands in the world at one point and then it all fell apart. Now, former guitarist Noel Gallagher hates all of the videos they made and so much more about himself and the audio about it is priceless. Plus your Would You Rather's and more! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Andy Erikson AKA Ernie AKA "Can I get a ride?" is in the building (the Mommy Dome). A former police officer, Andy is no nonsense when it comes to enforcing rules and eating snacks. If you don't know why you suck stuff are you supposed to? Maybe you're a suck puppet. That's it. That's your role in life. Why do black people say hair-on instead of heroin? We go DEEP this episode. Both ladies have had multiple men pull pud in front of them and they happily ELABORATE. Is Which Is Mike Singletary back????? Pull your jeans up and find out! What gift will Andy bring Tom in Tacoma? Check back in a month to find out.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

I've been wanting to see what's in those Jeans for a long time! Oh, get your dirty mind out of my jeans. Cab drivers are hot and we all want a piece of them. Our favorite part about riding around with cabbies is their smell but also their cleanliness and also listening to their nice music and also when they ignore our requests. Yeah, that's about it. Shakey Jeans is gone, but who will replace him? Hopefully someone with a more debilitating condition. Is the NFL ready for a gay player? What if an entire team were gay and amazingly talented? We pray for this. Tom and Tina talk about their new business idea - which involves juice and dudes. We got Brown Talk, a NEW release from the King (A** Ripper), a wanna-be tough guy and MORE!  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

If you're Irish or Scottish and angry we love you and can't understand a word. Please explain how we share the same language. We revisit the sexy as hell, you know what I'm sayin guy or girl or transitioning girl to guy or something else. All we're sure of is that it breathes like Biggie Smalls. The homeless gay man who has sex with a ghost is also fully explored and we rarely say this, but his love for the love he receives is inspiring. Tina and Tommy can't agree on Tinder. Is it Grinder for straight people or is it for real love? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Pull your jeans up, this is a good one! Kettle bell enthusiast, horseback riding instructor, competitive dancer and comedian/actor Bryan Callen steps into the Mommy Dome. He is well read and easy on the eyes. Sure he has a narrow waist line, but also his eyes are intoxicating. We cover way too much to write about in this endless space. Sociopaths, meditation, addiction, teeth and so much more. Stand up is the best thing is one of the main things we took away from this and that makes us happy. This ep has great WYR, Tom or Black and conversation that is so fun you'll be weaving new denim for yourself by the days end. JEANS UNIT! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

King A** Ripper has met his match! We ambush Tommy's cousin Jeanette into sitting down in our studio and lettin' em rip and boy does she ever. No, she's not the fart queen, but she is the Prime Minister of Belching. After some poking and pleading she finally and frequently shares her gift with the world. This episode is an instant classic. It has family, filth, WYR, Tom or Black, D**K Detectives, and more. We try to horrify Cousin Jeanette and I think we did. Mission accomplished.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

It's not bad to consider that if you're not good at something then you should quit! And if you don't quit then hopefully Eric Kelly will appear at the thing you're not good at and make fun of you. On camera. Shout out to all the little mommies that are down for the git down! We give you a proper salute. The live show was the Jimmy Jam and you the man, man. Sometimes when people who love each other eat together, they also end up blowing burp wind on each other (or just one way). The C-word is a fun word. Stop being so sensitive, you stupid C-word. We wear are JEANS so high for YOU!!! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

If you're gay I challenge you to up your game. Listen to the gayest man that has ever lived and see if you can top him, if even, for a moment. When ladies OR guys can't control the joy they feel when they taste man yogurt in their mouth are you buying it? We kind of disagree on this point. I mean clearly people LOVE it. The drunkest man ever is revisited and it's undeniable - he's a huge fan of our show. You know what I'm sayin, you gotta gun yoself, you know I'm sayin? Yes, sir, we do. Do we have an impromptu WOULD YOU RATHER that is so awful you might not answer? Yup. Nancy Grace is a lying turd, but maybe pot does make you kill??? David Lee Roth and Flocka rock out for you.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Every animal can get diarrhea, but why did that animal get that loose brown? Let's talk about it. Top Dog and Charo get a surprise phone call about Tom's sex education class memory. Was there a VERY out-of-line teacher? Hmmmmm. Did Top Dog make big BROWN on his latest cruise? We finished Breaking Bad Farts and we tip our collective hat to all the participants. It's a masterpiece and we miss it already. Pop music is for the stupid by the slightly less stupid. This isn't an attempt to be controversial. We actually have proof. If English is your first language and you make Dennis Rodman sound like Prince William what would be your next move? These JEAN were made for talking (to your mom).  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Seems like it's pretty much settled - TOMMY IS THE MAIN MOMMY. Episode 19 is revisited and the evidence is CLEAR. Christina is filing appeals, but we doubt there's a judge in the land that will grant her another hearing. We debate this at length and allow you to decide. You went CRAZY over the appearance of Juelz Ventura on episode 188 and we celebrate the triumph. Yes, we're proud of ourselves. What's scarier than a man dressed as a female DOLL? We vote nothing. It is absolutely terrifying. A new show is coming out about it and we are mortified and eager to watch it. Homeless people singing the hits is something that we hope takes off! They really can't sing, but we want it to never end. DENIM NEVER ENDS. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

HONESTLY, we feel like you're going to leave this episode like, "Whoa, I'm proud of myself." Thanks to you, the dedicated little mommy that could, we have managed to land an all-time favorite and MY OH MY did we have fun. Adult superstar, Juelz Ventura is as laid back and fun as she is sexy and full of drool (we'll let her explain). We get to ask everything we've ever wanted to ask to someone who does the dirty on camera and we get answers that you won't be able to wrap your loose vagina around. Juelz is game for anything and shares the inside scoop that we've been yearning for. Oh yeah, when we finally get to the clip that you all love, well, it's magic. This episode has heart, laughs, boobs and honestly, what else could you want?  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices