I Like You

Self-help books give bizarre advice. Men like to hunt animals, so women should act like prey. (We think this means wearing camo and fleeing if spotted.) If a woman finds a man sexually attractive right away, he is dangerous, and she should stop seeing him. For all their tips and tricks, these guides make opposite-sex love sound pretty hopeless. But straight people, fear not, this week, we talk to Mari Ruti who skewers the self-help perspective in her new book, The Case for Falling in Love. Music this week by Fox in the Henhouse – “Fears” El Capitan – “Happy All The Time” The Promise Ring – “Best Looking Boys” Sean Hayes – “When We Fall In”

Is it racist to be attracted to just one race? Shouldn’t we be equal-opportunity daters? This week JP and Elah are joined by Andil Gosine to discuss the intersection of race and attraction, where our racially motivated desires originate, and why race still matters in an increasingly connected world. Andil’s latest project, Khush: A Show of Love, includes a 5-part podcast series produced by JP. The interviews tell the story of Khush, the nucleus of the Toronto gay south Asian community in the late 80s and early 90s. Review the straight and gay OkCupid race data we mentioned for more in-depth analysis of how race effects response rates online. Theme music by Drew Danburry, other music by: [NOTE: Unfortunately our music provider was acquired by another company, and they no longer offer free mp3 downloads. Below are the tracks used in this week’s show.] Tommy Guerrero “Archaic Days” Jared Mees & The Grown Children “Limber Hearts” Charlie Hunter “Ain’t We Got Fun” Jared Mees & The Grown Children “Hungry Like a Tiger” Starfucker “Rawnald Gregory Erickson the Second”  

This week Lindsay Zier-Vogel tells us about spreading her love for the city through the Love Lettering Project. Theme and closing music by Drew Danburry, other music by: [NOTE: Unfortunately our music provider was acquired by another company, and they no longer offer free mp3 downloads. Below are the tracks used in this week’s show.] Ten Kens – “Bearfight” Rattler – “Getting Awesome”

You get a call from an ex telling you he’s probably infected you with HIV. Remember when he said he’d gotten tested and he was all good? Well, it looks like he lied. What do you do? How will this change your life? The less we tell you about Jessica Whitbread’s story in advance, the better. But we will say that she defied all our expectations. She made us laugh so hard, we felt a little weird about it (mostly good weird). We challenge you to find a more uplifting, more entertaining hour about HIV anywhere on the nets. For more about HIV/AIDS in Toronto, visit the AIDS Committee of Toronto, where Jessica works. UPDATE: The No Pants No Problem underwear dance party will take place on September 10th at the Garrison in Toronto. Facebook event. Oh, and there’s this Sarah Silverman clip too. Music this week by Drew Danburry (theme music), Abigail Clarke, and [NOTE: Unfortunately our music provider was acquired by another company, and they no longer offer free mp3 downloads. Below are the tracks used in this week’s show.] This Will Destroy You “The World Is Our ___” Chris Garneau “Baby’s Romance” Rodriguez “Sugar Man” Pickering Pick “Like A River” Marc Ribot “Delancey Waltz” Metric “Gimme Sympathy” Maximilian “Greyhound”  

Breakups. Sierra Bellows asks people in her town when they knew it was over. This is an all-time ILY favourite from the vault, mostly because it makes us cry. If you fail to cry, listen to Against All Odds, the Postal Service cover. The original by Phil Collins is also somewhat effective. See the original episode post for music downloads and credits.

Two curious monosexuals journey into the strange and wonderful world of people who are attracted to men and women. BOTH OF THEM. (Not necessarily at the same time though.) After hearing our Gay Talk episode, our friend and historian, Anna, decided we might learn a thing or two about the bisexual way and she patiently submitted to an hour long interrogation. We report back with our astonishing findings. Show notes: For some people, bisexuality means they are attracted to more than one gender, not necessarily just men and women. We mention a widely reported 2005 study which allegedly refuted the existence of bisexuality in men. Before you take it too seriously, consider that a) it had a tiny sample size, b) people who identify as bisexual might feel exclusive attraction to one gender some of the time, so measuring their attraction at just one point in their lives might not reveal their bisexuality, and c) attraction is not synonymous with having an erection (thankfully). CBS gave a nice quick overview of the study and some criticisms. Music this week by [NOTE: Unfortunately our music provider was acquired by another company, and they no longer offer free mp3 downloads. Below are the tracks used in this week’s show.] Marc Ribot – “Delancey Waltz” Starfucker – “Rawnald Gregory Erickson the Second”

Online dating can be hard on the soul – all that rejecting and rejection! Sofi (aka Sexy Typewriter) shares some stories of how she’s learned to cope. Theme music by Drew Danburry, other music this week by: [NOTE: Unfortunately our music provider was acquired by another company, and they no longer offer free mp3 downloads. Below are the tracks used in this week’s show.] etypejazz “Copacabana”  Sachal Vasandani “Babes Blues”  Ruthie Foster “Stone Love”

This song will rock your soul to its very core. Do not listen if you are pregnant. It may make your baby amazing. We’re still looking for one-minute storytellers for our live event in August. Sign up now!

Relationship lessons are rarely learned the easy way, more often than not it’s more akin to touching a hot stove. You’re sure to get burned, but at least you won’t soon forget the lesson. This week we talk to Liam about some of the lessons he’s learned, and the painful ways they were taught. Signup now to be part of our amazing LIVE storytelling event happening in Toronto this August! Only the first 60 will be accepted! Tell your friends! Theme music by Drew Danburry, other music by   [NOTE: Unfortunately our music provider was acquired by another company, and they no longer offer free mp3 downloads. Below are the tracks used in this week’s show.] Weekend – “End Times” The Weeks – “Buttons” Black Moth Super Rainbow – “Colorful Nickels” Pure Grain – “Cowgirl Remix feat. RJ Sidewayz” Sean Hayes – “Calling All Cars”

Are you the master of your own domain? Probably not. This week JP and Elah explore how friends, family, pop-culture and porn have influenced their romantic lives. Pictured above, two generations of nerds try to influence a third (from left to right: Dave, Sebastien, JP). View the original post including links to research, music and free audio books. Let us know about your influencers in the comments!

Why does anyone get married anymore? And why do they make us get out of bed to watch it happen? This week, we try to figure out why, against all reason, we hope to get married one day. Sierra talks to two friends as they prepare for their weddings, and things begin to make a bit more sense. Their stories are really heart-warming, and if you’ve got an acute case of the singles, kind of reassuring too. Music this week by Abigail Clarke and [NOTE: Unfortunately our music provider was acquired by another company, and they no longer offer free mp3 downloads. Below are the tracks used in this week’s show.] Marc Ribot “The Kid” Sarah Lee Guthrie & Johnny Irion “Never Far from My Heart”

We’re all about eavesdropping this week. As a young TTY operator, Laura-Louise got right in the middle of people’s private conversations. Funny, scandalous, moving, she heard it all, and then she told us. Plus, JP confesses to doing some high-tech creeping when he lost trust in his ex. He didn’t like what he found. You can see Laura-Louise’s original TTY story at MothUP Toronto’s Vimeo section. There’s stuff by former guest, Sage Tyrtle, on there too. And if you want to attend an event, join MothUP’s Facebook Group. And finally, tell a 1-minute story at I Like You’s live event in August. Sign up at ilikeyoupodcast.com/live. Music this week by [NOTE: Unfortunately our music provider was acquired by another company, and they no longer offer free mp3 downloads. Below are the tracks used in this week’s show.] Lyrics Born – “Callin’ Out” Sean Hayes – “A Thousand Tiny Pieces” Dragonette – “Pick Up The Phone”

Lindsay is an Ottawa area sex worker. She works with the non-profit advocacy group POWER (Prostitutes of Ottawa/Gatineau Work, Educate, Resist) to decriminalize prostitution in Canada and improve working conditions for sex workers. She tells us how she got her start, what it’s like to have sex for money, and how different it is from Julia Roberts’ Pretty Woman. Thanks to Anne Patterson for putting us in touch with Lindsay – you can read her profile of Lindsay on Hello Ottawa. Theme music by Drew Danburry, other music by: [NOTE: Unfortunately our music provider was acquired by another company, and they no longer offer free mp3 downloads. Below are the tracks used in this week’s show.] Hospital Ships “I Want It to Get Out” Jared Mees & The Grown Children “Hungry Like a Tiger” Sloan “Unkind”  The Nghiems “Dum Dum Dah Dah”

This week we talk to show favourite Lynn about the dramatic breakup of her marriage. She gets kicked out, rallies, learns some lessons, and kicks herself right back in. Theme music by Drew Danburry, other music by: [NOTE: Unfortunately our music provider was acquired by another company, and they no longer offer free mp3 downloads. Below are the tracks used in this week’s show.] CAKE – “It’s Coming Down” Bear In Heaven – “Lovesick Teenagers” Mendoza Line, The – “It Helps to Leave the House”

This week, we get drunk. In possibly the most misguided experiment in ILY’s less than illustrious history, we decide to explore this week’s theme (mind-altering substances) while under the influence. You know how it sucks when everyone around you is drunk & high and you’re completely sober? Well, this isn’t like that. We’re the most fun we’ve ever been, or at least, we thought so at the time. Note: Though we preach to the children a few too many times this episode (a la How I Met Your Mother), this show is NOT for kids. Music this week by… [NOTE: Unfortunately our music provider was acquired by another company, and they no longer offer free mp3 downloads. Below are the tracks used in this week’s show.] Lene Lovich “I Think We’re Alone Now” Sean Nicholas Savage “Disco Dancing”