Brilliant or Stupid?

Just Say Yes to drugs in your food

Rich Hollywood Jews listen up... here's a time travel sci-fi action-thriller you don't want to pass on...

Our new religion has only one commandment: Thou shalt not create new religions.

The title of this post says it all, except this: Why doesn't someone invent this?

There are a bunch of bored old men walking around the malls not spending any money. Let's cash in on their pent-up anger with a booth full of snotty teens to agitate them all the way up to explosive rage.

Suicide isn't normally ha-ha funny even when it's a delusional terrorist blowing only himself up. But here is one true story of a failed suicide that we managed to see the lighter side of.

This is what happens if you are lucky enough to catch the last subway ride home after downing Jager shots at the bar. Your journey home is already going to be fraught with danger and pizza stains. Shouldn't it be at least free? We think so.

There's a reason half of marriages end in murder. There simply isn't anything in the dating world that can prepare you for it. It's way too easy to impress a future wife or husband while you're still hot for each other's genitals. But that's no warm up for married life. That's why we propose potential life parters team up for a round of Speed Travelling. Anyone can seem charming over dinner and drinks. But if you can keep your shit together on a 17-hour bus ride through the jungles of Peru and a night in a rat-infested hotel run by a sexist psychopath then you'll be ready for anything... even Christmas dinner with your in-laws.

You're arguing in the street with some nutbar over some crazy dispute and your brain is about to explode. What you gonna do? Call in a roving referee, of course! Let him pass judgment and you pass on a tip. Problem solved. We got that idea plus at least two more! There's also Andreas' wish to create a voice-activated TV remote control, and we expose the lack of certified  'gravy chefs' at restaurants. David also pitches 'the hobo diet',  and contankerous old coot  Frank tries to claim his dog as a tax deduction. We have all that plus the 'missing link' drinking game, all in this most wondrous podtastic episode and not much more!

General Daniel Velasquez is a ruthless, conniving, vicious man. His words. Honestly, he made us type those words. And you always want to do as he says. He once invaded another country because its flag was prettier than his. Andreas met up with this former dictator for drinks. In between threats to slice Andreas' neck, he proudly showed him pictures of his pet piranhas (Uday and Qusay), and opened up about old war wounds (he's been stabbed, beaten, shot at, but those scars pale -- he's quite tanned -- when compared to the emotional wounds he suffered when he was forced into exile a few years ago). He's killed thousands of innocents. He's forced himself on dozens of wives and their lovers. Now he's in studio for 8 minutes of blatant self-promotion to talk about his magazine going global. Listen to the interview below and begin your brainwashing for a glorious new future.

Brilliantorstupid.com contributor Gerry, a very lonely sasquatch, has an idea to make St Patrick's Day more inclusive. Andreas met up with him to hear his idea. In a feeding frenzy he ate Andreas' right hand (which was holding the camera) so the only image we have is this copy of Vanity Fair magazine's recent 'Proust Questionnaire' article on him. Luckily the recorder survived with only one bite taken out of it so you can scroll down to listen to the full interview (well, not full -- we had to edit out the parts were Gerry tried to screw a shag rug and later in the night -- after his tenth bottle of Jaggermeister -- when he threw up an entire family of pigeons.)

Your Family Bucket of comedy is ready for pick-up. We have gut-wrenching jokes on hot topics all neatly packed into a fat 22 minutes of heart-attack inducing fun, featuring an awesome idea to extend the Buy Local campaign to other goods (why buy plastic milk jugs when wood will do fine?), and hear Missing Link bits on the terrible truth behind chupacabras of South America and how the pick axe is an essential cooking tool. Also, Tony (Sir Terry Terryamson's henchman from lightbulbindustries.tumblr.com) drops by, drinks all our beer, threatens us, and then oddly invites us out. We figure he's just lonely. Now shut up and press play.    

Who says you don't get anything for free? We're offering you a massive 30 minutes of uninterrupted gibberish and assorted ramblings by ourselves and barely-coherent contributors, featuring choice audio musings featuring intelligent (unintelligible?) debate and provocative interviews. Our special guest this week was Fernandanny, spokesman for the Masculine Metrosexual movement, plus we solve the problems of cruise ship disasters and little people (wait, that doesn't sound right). We also propose radical improvements to airplane toilets (which goes a tiny way towards explaining this photo to the left) and we pitch the greatest superhero movie yet -- The Prospector! Best of all, we finally have a sponsor -- LightBulb Industries (check them out here). Just press play dammit.

In this, our second edition of the Missing Link, Andreas proves he's taken one too many shots to the head with his take on the epic late-1950's journey of the Pope across the frozen tundra that is the National Hockey League.

We've created a new party game called "The Missing Link," in which you get two minutes to connect two random words with a story that nobody would ever believe. Unscripted, untested, and possibly unworthy... Have a couple of shots and then listen to this podcast in which David explains the hidden history that binds the humble cheeseburger and the mighty wallpaper.