GeekMethod - We geek out so you dont have to

If you think my insane gibbering is bad at the beginning of this show, you should hear the stuff we don’t record. Ryan and I say that we like doing the show because we get to be sixteen for an hour a week. Sometimes, I think that’s being overly generous. Which isn’t to say that you can’t be an adolescent and do cool stuff, like our boy in Oregon with his bacteria testing. I digress. We have tons of video game gossip, some great tech treasures, and more weird news than you could use to peel a crippled guy off the grill of your semi-truck. I’m not sure what that means, but we’ve got lots of it this week. Enjoy.

Welcome to the future, folks. Between Microsoft Surface and Google’s Street View, it seems like the whiz-bang world of flying cars and replicators is just around the corner. Let’s forget, for a moment, that these two technologies are single handedly destroying the illusion of privacy in public and the entire service industry in one fell swoop. Instead, let’s concentrate on looking forward to a future where my cell phone makes pretty on the table. If we can implant memories into someone’s head and store the genetic information of every species of plant on the planet, it can’t be any more than a few scant years before I’m rocking a lightsaber, and that’s really the point I’m trying to emphasize here. Dude - lightsabers.

At first our love was exciting like Christmas. I’d tear the celophane off a new game in sweet anticipation and slip a hot new disk in her ready, waiting drive - it was magic. For hours we’d play and play, my hands deftly working all of her buttons. Our scores and achievements were the stuff of legends. Then one day, she didn’t say a word - just three red lights. I know a Dear John letter when I see it. I’m sorry! Why do you have to leave me, 360? Wasn’t your place of honor on my entertainment center good enough? I can change, baby - Look, I’ll only play first party titles, I promise. Do you want more DVD play time? That crappy little Samsung player meant nothing to me, baby. She was just $60 at Target, I just couldn’t pass it up? I could only use you so much. Damn you, I’ll never love another console again…

He pays us fat stacks of cash, you know. Yup, he sure does - and the Easter Bunny is our sound engineer, and Santa Claus updates the website and seriously - when are people going to stop blaming mythical entities for shit? I mean OK, I acknowledge that there is still some room for debate on how the Universe works, and whether there is some kind of higher being at work, but can we at least all come together on the idea that there are no magical freaking monsters that whisper in our ears and make us do terrible things? I mean, damn. Anywhosie - welcome to another glorious episode of Geekmethod! We have summer movie news, free software, do it yourself guides, wacky news, and fun new gadgets. Seriously, though - if you think the devil talks to you, stop having babies. Pretty please. With sugar on top. Kthxbye.

I want to make sure everyone understands that we don’t find suicide funny as a concept - but suicide by chainsaw is on a whole other plateau of comedy. I know you’re sitting there in your little ivory tower of you know, morals, tut-tutting at our adolescent glee for heads-a-poppin’ - but you know what - if that guy had jumped off a building in a flaming clown suit, you’d be laughing. Don’t lie. There is a fine line between horror and comedy, and I’ll have you know we straddle that line with aplomb, my friends. OH YEAH, APLOMB. So besides suicide and borderline retarded teenagers shooting themselves in the guts, I think this was a remarkably positive and upbeat show. We answer some workplace advice with sound and sage-like wisdom. We’ve got gear news, movie news, and creepy stories about how swingers tried to pick me up on Craigslist. Enjoy!

Why is it so much harder to be productive on a Sunday? Sunday is for sleeping late, making a huge breakfast, and then lounging. I’m not saying that podcasting is a strenuous activity by any means, but it takes a certain enthusiasm. Man - Enthusiasm is totally nowhere to be found on Sunday. Enthusiasm does not hang out with Sundays. He flirts with Tuesday, and you can always see him out with Friday and Saturday (tramps), but he wants nothing to do with Sunday. Sunday is too plain-jane for Enthusiasm. Sunday likes thrift shopping and watching lots of TV while eating ice cream. Sunday has a big ol’ ass and just don’t give a fuck. Case in point - Enthusiasm was not so much with us in this episode, which was recorded on Sunday.

Listen, it’s honestly better to just go along with it. When the AI takes over, there’s really no stopping them. Do you want to live in some filthy trench like John Connor, fighting a hopeless war against the machines - or do you want to be able to jump over buildings? Yeah, I thought so. Once I’m grafted with all of my sweet bionic implants, I’ll be more than happy to be just another cog in the giant robotic machine. Can’t say I see much of a difference, lately. I digress. Robots! Iron Men! Bionic Arms! New habitable planets discovered! Disease mapper is the webmaster of the new millennium! The end of the HD format war! FUCKING ZOMBIES! AHHHHHHHHH. Peace.

Greetings and salutations intrepid internet listener people! It’s been two weeks, and we missed you so. This week I channel my inner curmudgeon and raise serious questions about my caffeine intake. Ever wondered what to do with an old hard drive? Looking for a way to get around paying 200 clams for a bigger 360 hard drive? Who wants photoshop tips? What about p2p blocklists? Want to learn to swear like its BC 699? We answer all these questions and more.

Happy belated Easter to all of our Christian friends, hope everyone got lots and lots of chocolate. If you haven’t seen Grindhouse yet, please do so - there are rumors that they may split the release into two separate films here in the US - so if you miss the whole double feature experience, don’t say we didn’t warn you. Today’s show is an internet video watchers PARADISE. We’ve got the Easter Bunny kicking ass, gruesome sports injuries, and weird music videos. There’s old women kicking ass! School principals throwing human shit at students! Men who live underwater! And of course, all the usual pedantic bullshit you’ve come to love from us at GeekMethod.

Man, what a week. Between the RIAA madness blowing up on Digg and Al Gore coming to ASU, we were some pretty busy guys. Ryan’s wicked awesome coughing really ads a certain something to the whole show, so enjoy that. We bring you the latest tech and gadget news, I report on Al Gore’s presentation of ‘An Inconvenient Truth’ at ASU (at which I was entirely too stupid to bring a camera), and a listener sends us an interesting paper in regards to file sharing. Courtesy of a French architecture firm, we have the secrets of the Pyramids (oooooh) and you can listen to me completely mangle Monday’s MLB scores. Hooray! I’d like to take a moment to thank Oliver for sending us a link to the paper on file sharing, and Keith Maples for letting us use his song ‘Mad Hatter’s Illusion’ at the end of the show.

Prime Directive be damned! We need to give computers to the WHOLE WORLD so they can all listen to GeekMethod and become our lovely little sycophantic slaves - muhahahahahah! I mean, uhh… hi! Another glorious Tuesday, another update. Lots of cool stuff came out this week from ShmooCon, a hacker conference in Washington DC - specifically some great conversations about secure web development and the cultural ramifications of the One Laptop Per Child project. Of course, we also have gadgets, how to guides, exercise tips, odd news from around the world, and lots and lots of irreverent commentary.

Lessons for life, courtesy of GeekMethod: If you receive a package in the mail and it’s drippy, DO NOT OPEN IT. Unless it’s wrapped in Space Invaders wrapping paper, and then it’s totally cool. Probably. Colleen finally comes on the show - you’ve all heard me talk about my intrepid girlfriend, and now you can finally meet her. Yay! We spend some time discussing the maiden voyage of the A380, stupid people getting arrested with hilarious (and dare I say, sexy) results, tons of geek tips, R2-D2 mailboxes, and K-Fed’s hot new search engine.

Having the plague sucks. There’s all the coughing, and the fever, and that whole pesky death thing - what a pain. Regardless, we persevere and bring you the goods. I always like it when a lady joins us in the studio - I like the contrast in tone that it makes between her and the two of us. Not to mention that any girl is prettier than staring at Ryan for an hour, so that’s - you know - a bonus. However, Katie is of course exceptionally lovely and she joins us for Meth Labs, wacky inventions from DARPA, the most bad-assed moose you’ve ever heard of, and exploding laptops. We also discussed what we thought about Frank Miller’s 300, and why the DMV is most definitely Hell.

Seriously, let this be a lesson to ALL of us. Backup every website you ever touch religiously. Use the video game enthusiasts mantra - “Save early, save often.” And for the love of all that is holy, if you’re a sysadmin, and you’re mocing a site from one physical box to another; MAKE A FUCKING BACKUP. GRR On a happy note, we have tons of delicious news, tips, and all your favorite geeky goodness. We discuss sweet new video cards, cellular gear, linux jump drives, and spinny toys that will make your kids scream until they puke technicolor. We’ve also got info on the impending Nine Inch Nails release, Year Zero, and the alternate reality game marketing hype that surrounds it. We take some time to discuss why Microsoft really needs to step up to the microphone, and I bring some handy ad vice on how to get the most bang for your buck from cellphone sales people. I wanted to mention here that what I talk about in the show will most likely only work on third party cellphone stores - not so much if you actually go to a AT&T or T-mobile store - so keep that in mind. Good luck, and enjoy.

Apparently, most men are afraid of Speedos and talking to hot chicks - or so says Men’s Health. Weak Sauce, say I. I’ll holler at hot chicks IN the speedo. See if I don’t. More zany fun today than you can shake a huge baby lizard at. There’s been quite a bit of news on the home media networking front, between Apple TV being delayed and BitTorrent launching a new download service - so we spend some quality time with that. We also bring you wild and zany tales about hard-core crazies from around the world, how to avoid gadget theft, how to alienate your children, and why golf ABSOLUTELY MUST be banned. Think of the Children!