Summary: Have you ever set an ultimatum? What did you do when it wasn’t honored? How do you deal with unacceptable behavior from your loved ones? Spencer and Maria talk about boundaries.<br> <br> Last week, we read an email from a listener who asked these questions:<br> <br> Do any of you out there have any personal experiences setting ultimatums with your addicts that were not respected, acknowledged or met with insult?<br> How have you handled the negativity from your addict, and the anxiety and heartbreak of not knowing if the relationship will ever be restored?<br> What has it looked like for you to practice loving detachment with an intimate partner through a separation or divorce?<br> What is the next right thing to do once a boundary has been communicated?<br> So we thought, “maybe it’s time to talk about boundaries again.” We actually had a couple of earlier shows around this topic. Our very first episode was a 20 minute discussion of boundaries, and then in episode 44, we talked about setting boundaries without controlling.<br> <br> Some discussion/thought questions about boundaries:<br> <br> What is a boundary?<br> How does it differ from an ultimatum?<br> How can I set a boundary that involves someone else’s behavior?<br> What can I do when my boundaries are not respected?<br> How do I feel when my boundaries are not respected by someone I love?<br> How can loving detachment help me to maintain my boundaries?<br> What if I don’t want to follow through with the consequences of my boundary having been violated?<br> What happens (to me) if my boundaries turn out to be expectations?<br> How does a boundary with my own behavior differ from a boundary with someone else’s behavior?<br> How can I set up and follow through with consequences on a boundary with myself?
