Summary: In this solo coaching episode I coach on what women can do to, improve their relationships.<br> <br> We have all heard that men want respect and women are emotional creatures, needing love and affection. That is true; but their is the character flaw common to all men and women? As my pastor would say All means inclusive of everyone exclusive of none. So how do women, improve their relationships,?<br> <br> The answer is this.<br> <br> By not pointing out wrong doing or blaming their partners. Because No one ever does anything they feel is wrong.<br> <br> The verb in the sentence is the important word. Feel.<br> Put another way, whatever we Perceive is our reality.<br> 99.9 percent of men and women can justify to themselves or anyone who would listen, any action or none action, they have taken.<br> <br> Let me paint a picture with this story.<br> <br> On May 7 1931 New York City witnessed the most sensational manhunt the city had ever known to this point. After weeks on the loose "Two-Gun" Crowley, the killer, was trapped in an apartment on West End avenue.<br> <br> One hundred and fifty police officers and detectives laid siege to his top floor hideaway. For hours the residential sections reverberated with the rat-tat-tat of gun fire from the police and Two-Gun Crowley.<br> <br> <br> While Crowley lay bleeding from his gunshot wounds, he penned a note that read "To whom it may concern. Under my coat is a weary heart, but a kind one, one that would do nobody no harm"<br> If you had never heard that story before, you may be thinking that the police had the wrong man; but no. Crowley was the same man who was necking with his girl on a country road on Long Island when a police walked up to the parked car and asked him to show his license.<br> <br> Without saying a word, Crowley drew his gun and cut the police down with a shower of lead. As the officer lay dying on the ground he jumped out of the car grabber the officer’s gun and fired another bullet into the prostrate body. That was the killer who wrote "under my coat is a weary but kind heart. One that would do nobody any harm.<br> <br> This is an extreme story but I have experienced many like in in my own experience, from kids who steal, to spouses who cheat, to murders who kill, nobody feels they have done anything wrong. So don't bother pointing it out and this goes a long way to, improve their relationships,<br> <br> Someone made them do it, they find some way to justify their actions. This phenomenon is glaringly evident on death row. Most of the prisoners on death row feel they have been victimized regardless of how heinous the crime.<br> <br> <br> <br> The #1 thing women can do to, improve their relationships, is Don't criticize!<br> <br> <br> <br> It does no good. It does nothing.<br> Criticism is futile because it puts a man on the defensive, wounds his pride, hurts his sense of importance, and arouses his resentment, so don't bother.<br> Instead make yourself perfect.<br> Jesus taught us this when he said "Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother's eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye?<br> <br> That is not to say that your brother has no speck or has done no wrong; but we are only responsible for what we do. We have no power to control others. And pointing it out does nothing to, improve their relationships,<br> <br> This is another trending story in Google news to illustrate my point<br> More than 20 women accused a prominent Pasadena obstetrician of mistreating them. He denied claims and was able to continue practicing.<br> <br> I have adopted this frame of mind in my own marriage. I no longer criticize or concentrate on what I am not getting, instead I concentrate on making myself perfect and working on my goals as a couple and for myself.<br> <br> And that friends is the secret to happiness.
