Summary: <br> <br> <br> <br> <br> <br> <br> <br> <br> <br> <br> <br> <br> <br> <br> <br> <br> <br> <br> <br> <br> <br> <br> <br> <br> <br> <br> <br> <br> <br> <br> <br> <br> <br> <br> <br> <br> <br> <br> <br> <br> <br> <br> <br> <br> <br> <br> <br> <br> ***Podcast disclaimer: Early in Anne’s healing journey, as are many women, she was exposed to the codependency model for recovery from being married to a sex addict. She has since realized that she and other wives of addicts have truly experienced betrayal trauma.<br> Betrayal Trauma Recovery no longer supports the codependency model because it has been found to cause more harm than good. Betrayal Trauma Recovery strictly uses the trauma model for assisting women who are seeking peace and safety amid the chaos of their reality.<br> Anne continues to utilize the 12-step manual for developing and improving her own relationship with God. Anne now uses the trauma model for her own healing. You can find more about her thoughts on this podcast <a href="https://www.btr.org/problems-with-sex-addiction-model/">here</a>.*** <br> <br> <br> Many women who have been betrayed by their husband, through pornography, affairs, and masturbation, are left feeling devastated and confused. Some women feel responsible for their husband’s abusive acting out behaviors, so they attempt to “help” him overcome them. Others just don’t know what to do or think.<br> Sometimes, when they seek help, they may be told that they are just as sick as their husband and they are addicted to the addict.<br> They may be told that they just need to be more sexual, or more loving, more understanding, or more … fill-in-the-blank. They may also be told that they are too sensitive, too over-reactive, too angry, too mistrusting, too … fill-in-the-blank.<br> If you’ve been told any of these things, you are not alone.<br> Is It Codependency Or Is It Betrayal Trauma?<br> Many people continue to subscribe to the codependency model of recovery, which says that spouses of addicts are just as sick as the addict. There is something wrong with the spouse and they need to be fixed, just like the addict. The spouse needs to work the 12 Steps just like the addict.<br> If you subscribe to this model, we understand. It’s much easier to believe that you have control—over your situation, your husband’s behavior, etc.<br> Sadly, we don’t have control over other people. We, especially, don’t have control over our husband’s behavior and the situation HE has put us in. We can’t change the past, it’s already happened.<br> Over the last two decades, there have been many mental health professionals that noticed something unusual. Wives of pornography and sex addicts were exhibiting symptoms of Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder.<br> Some people find this hard to believe. They don’t understand and this is a new term for them, this “betrayal trauma.” Anne, founder of Betrayal Trauma Recovery, tries to explain betrayal trauma to people, so they can understand what she’s been through.<br> “When I tell people about betrayal trauma, sometimes, I get some strange looks.<br> <br> “Many people don’t know about betrayal trauma, and most people don’t understand it.”<br> <br> What Is Betrayal Trauma?<br> Women who have been betrayed by their husband may feel emotionally isolated and doubt their own personal worth. Their subconscious knows they aren’t safe anymore, so they start behaving differently or start feeling depressed . They start trying to find a cause for their husband’s behavior so they can be safe.<br> They may be labeled as too sensitive, too angry, or too controlling,
