Summary: <br> <br> <br> <br> <br> <br> <br> <br> <br> <br> <br> <br> <br> <br> <br> <br> <br> <br> <br> <br> <br> <br> <br> <br> <br> <br> <br> <br> <br> <br> <br> <br> <br> <br> <br> <br> <br> <br> <br> <br> <br> <br> <br> To Healing The Traumatic Experiences Caused By Our Husband's Lies, Infidelity, and Emotional Abuse<br> This morning, I was studying in Matthew Chapter 9, a man approaches Jesus and he says in verse 18, "My daughter is even now dead; but come and lay they hand upon her, and she shall live."<br> <br> It made me think of my soon-to-be-ex-huband who has filed for divorce and made no effort to be reunited with his family. I knelt down and I prayed, "God, my husband is even now dead: but come and lay thy hand upon him, and he shall live."<br> <br> At this point, I feel like he has died spiritually and physically in my life, since I no longer interact with him in any way. My greatest desire is to have my husband be whole and be home. Because I'm in this state of sadness and grief because of my husband's spiritual death and removal from our family, the next verses 20-22 really help me.<br> <br> "Behold, a woman, which was diseased with an issue of blood twelve years, came behind him, and touched the hem of his garment: For she said within herself, If I may but touch his garment, I shall be whole. But Jesus turned him about, and when he saw her, he said, Daughter, be of good comfort; they faith hath made thee whole. And the woman was made whole from that hour."<br> <br> So I think of those two scriptures, back to back. It is unlikely that my husband will allow himself to be healed due to his current mindset. I have no idea. But I am seeking healing, so I can be healed.<br> <br> I can be made whole from the pain and trauma I've been experiencing by touching the hem of Christ's garment.<br> <br> As I prayed this morning, I had an incredible peace come over me. It was comforting and warm. The feeling I had was all will be well. I will keep you safe.<br> Admitting Life Is Unmanageable Is The Foundation For Healing<br> Admitting our life is completely unmanageable can help us find peace. For many of us, admitting this seems like giving up. Or the powerlessness of our situation seems to increase the trauma.<br> <br> I was single for a long time, didn't get married until I was 30. And during my single years, I would date people and it wouldn't work out, and I had an image in my mind that I was in drowning on a stormy sea. The water was extremely choppy, splashing in my face, and I could barely keep my head above water. I could see God in a boat, far away from me, and He had thrown in a donut shaped life preserver. The life preserver was attached to a rope, and He held the rope.<br> <br> Every time, I reached out to grab the life preserver, God would pull it away, out of my reach. My head would go under water, and I'd come up again gasping, again, trying to grab it. He would again pull it away. I could never reach safety.<br> <br> <br> <br> <br> <br> <br> <br> Self Care Is Essential To Heal<br> One of my character defects is OCD. I have a hard time being present when it hits because my mind can't let go of my worries and get distracted by my thoughts. My coach suggested to me that I wasn't working good recovery.<br> <br> So I took a break from <a href="/home">BTR</a> and I fasted from the internet for three days to get back on track, and get God in my center. My soon-to-be-ex-husband had recently posted a post about me on Facebook, gaslighting everyone, saying that I was the cause of the divorce. I needed to get God back in my center.<br> <br>
