Summary: <br> <br> <br> <br> <br> <br> <br> <br> <br> <br> <br> <br> <br> <br> <br> <br> <br> <br> <br> <br> <br> <br> <br> <br> <br> <br> <br> <br> <br> <br> <br> <br> <br> <br> <br> <br> <br> <br> <br> <br> <br> <br> <br> Lisa Taylor is here with us today. Lisa is a pastoral sexual addiction specialist and a post-grad counseling student living in New Zealand. She has spent the last several years counseling and supporting women whose lives, like our own, have been impacted by husbands with sex addiction, sex offending, or sexual integrity issues. Her books on this topic include <a href="/books">Beyond Betrayal</a>, Beyond Betrayal Couple’s Guide and There's What On My Phone? - a fictional story for youth who struggle.<br> <br> She also runs an online community blog for partners at <a href="https://beyondbetrayal.community/">beyondbetrayal.community.</a> Welcome, Lisa.<br> <br> Lisa: Thank you, Anne.<br> Women Who Are Betrayed Have Every Right To Question God<br> Anne: Lisa, you did a survey a couple of years ago on the topic of spiritual crisis in the lives of partners of sex addicts. Can you tell us about that?<br> <br> Lisa: A couple of years ago when I was still working on <a href="/books">Beyond Betrayal</a>, it struck me that this was an important topic to get some information about to include in the book and at the same time Marsha Means who runs The Circle of Joy was interested in starting groups for people who are struggling with this aspect of the journey. We got together and asked what we all wanted to know and put together some questions, then we sent it out to Marsha’s mailing list and we had over 100 women get back to us and share their stories with us.<br> <br> Anne: I bet you had a lot of pain that came back to you.<br> <br> Lisa: Absolutely, a lot of incredible stories.<br> <br> Anne: What was your particular interest in the topic?<br> <br> Lisa: I guess the reason why I really felt like I wanted to include something about this in the book was because I had experienced this; I had a background since I was a little kid. Those who know me a little bit more know I am in my second marriage right now to a man who is recovering from his porn addiction.<br> <br> My first marriage didn't make it. And particularly as that first marriage was falling apart, I was very active in my local church. I hid a lot of abuse and went through a deep spiritual crisis that would last for years. I really questioned if God could still love me because I was being rejected by the church for making a stand and walking away from this poisonous relationship with a man who was not willing to get help for his sex addiction. He wasn't even willing to stop lying. I really felt this was some of the lowest points in my life. I think having my faith pulled out from underneath me was part of why this was such a low, low time for me. I really felt that had there been support, had there been people talking about this, perhaps I wouldn't have hit such a low point, perhaps it would have been an easier journey.<br> <br> Anne: When you say you hid abuse, do you mean that you were abused by the church?<br> <br> Lisa: Yes, unfortunately. Mine is one of many, many stories; they are all slightly different but a similar thread runs through all of them: somehow, it's not the man's fault, it's the woman's. If she decides to set a strong boundary that she is leaving if he does not get help....I got threatening letters form a pastor throughout the 4-5 years I was single, living as a solo mom in a different city with a full-time job. Eventually this resulted in a death threat. It was interesting because my mother,
