Summary: <br> <br> <br> <br> <br> <br> <br> <br> <br> <br> <br> <br> <br> <br> <br> <br> <br> <br> <br> <br> <br> <br> <br> <br> <br> <br> <br> <br> <br> <br> <br> <br> <br> <br> <br> <br> <br> <br> <br> <br> <br> <br> <br> <br> Dissociation Symptoms When Your Husband Lies, Cheats, & Abuses You<br> Richard Blankenship is the clinical and administrative director for the <a href="http://cornerstonetraining.org/richard-blankenship-bio/">Capstone Center for Counseling</a>, DBT and Relational Trauma at the Capstone Center for Sexual Recovery and Transformation. He founded of the <a href="http://www.sexaddictioncertification.org/">International Association of Certified Sexual Addiction Specialists</a>, where he served as president for 13 years, and a founding board member of the Association for Partners of Sex Addicts Trauma Specialists (APSATS). He developed the first graduate course to be taught on sexual addiction along with a colleague, and guest lectures in a variety of university-level courses.<br> He is married with two children and has worked with churches and counseling centers for over 25 years.<br> What Is Dissociation?<br> Richard: Dissociation is, basically, a splitting off of or a detachment. It’s a big word that can sound really scary, yet, it manifests itself in different degrees. It’s something that we all do. We dissociate from difficult experiences. Even daydreaming is a form of mild dissociation, when you’re just checking out of something.<br> Dissociation is a coping skill in some ways and, at times, it can be healthy. At other times it can be unhealthy.<br> How Does Dissociation Occur?<br> Anne: That’s good to hear, that it can sometimes be healthy, as I have experienced quite a bit of dissociation since my ex-husband’s arrest. What does it look like in terms of a wife who is in trauma? So a woman who is experiencing the emotional abuse or the trauma of finding out about her husband’s porn use or his infidelity?<br> Richard: Whenever women find out about problematic sexual behavior, or chronic porn use, anything on that continuum, they’ll develop a lot of the symptoms of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. One of the things that comes when you’re in a traumatized state is a level of dissociation.<br> It can be as basic as just zoning out for a few minutes, some daydreaming, maybe even some fantasy of being in a better place, or it could go over to some very extreme levels where people lose touch with reality. More often than not, we see it early on when people are in a state of shock from the betrayal. They may just be staring straight ahead with a blank look. Dissociationactually does have a continuum that it runs on from fairly minor to much more extreme.<br> Anne: The reason why I wanted to talk about this is because I found myself not hearing my children when they were talking to me and I wasn’t doing anything else. They would say something, and I would realize that they had been saying something to me and that I did not hear them for like, I don't know how many times they said, “Mom, Mom, Mom.” Then I was like, “Oh, yeah, what is it?”<br> What Are The Symptoms of Dissociation?<br> I was available and ready and willing to talk to them, but just didn’t hear them until they had said my name a few times. I would say that mine would be on the very minor level of zoning out for a little while, but I found myself doing that frequently, so I thought, “Oh, I need to learn more about dissociation.”<br> I just wanted to see what does an expert have to say about, first of all, this level of dissociation—which I’m sure many of our listeners are experiencing—do you have any tips for that? Then, also,
