Summary: This week is Father’s day and it got me to thinking about my dad. My dad was a loving father who modeled integrity and humility. However he was silent on the issue of sexuality and pornography. My dad struggled to talk with me about the issue of porn even as an adult. So you can imagine how alone I felt has a teenager and young man as I got swallowed up in the addiction.<br> Writer and priest, Henri Nouwen, referred to the current generation as…<br> <br> * <a href="http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0385148038/ref=as_li_qf_sp_asin_il_tl?ie=UTF8&camp=1789&creative=9325&creativeASIN=0385148038&linkCode=as2&tag=pornradi-20"></a>Preoccupied with self, inwardness<br> * Fatherless<br> * Convulsiveness (reactionary, violent, taking thing in to one’s own hands.)<a href="http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0385148038/ref=as_li_qf_sp_asin_il_tl?ie=UTF8&camp=1789&creative=9325&creativeASIN=0385148038&linkCode=as2&tag=pornradi-20">The Wounded Healer by Henri Nouwen</a><br> <br> As those who struggle with porn addiction these characteristics are so true. We are prone to self preoccupation with porn and masturbation. We cultivate an inwardness withdrawing from others into fantasy. We are marked by being fatherless. We are lost boys trying to figure things out without a standard or role models. We have become convulsive and reactionary. When we are stressed or anxious we take things into our own hands. We do not need others. We have become masters of self-soothing and medicating our pain with addiction.<br> What We Needed Growing Up From Dad <br> <br> * We needed Dad to engage us and convey are worth, that we are lovable<br> * We needed Dad to communicate our boundaries and limits<br> * We needed his protection<br> * We needed his good authority<br> * We needed him to model healthy relating with mom<br> <br> It is an offering (better late than never) of that parent-child bond that tells the fatherless that they’re lovable.–Gregory Boyle, <a href="http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B0038A851U/ref=as_li_qf_sp_asin_il_tl?ie=UTF8&camp=1789&creative=9325&creativeASIN=B0038A851U&linkCode=as2&tag=pornradi-20">Tattoos on the Heart</a> (p. 91)<br> What We Got<br> <br> * Dad was not near enough to make a difference<br> * Passivity, Silence<br> * Physical Absence<br> * Misuse of presence or authority (abuse)<br> * A poor model of manhood<br> * Sexual Irresponsibility<br> <br> What was I to do as a dad in such a place of unknowing?<br> What My Dad Didn’t Tell Me About Porn<br> <br> * That I’m not the only one<br> * That it’s dangerous<br> * That it doesn’t ultimately meet the need your looking for<br> * That it can and should be avoided<br> * That it damages healthy sexuality<br> <br> Most importantly that it is not shameful to talk about it. It should be something talked about openly. It something you can always ask for help with.<br> I mention at the end of the show that my dad read an article I wrote. It was originally titled “Destroying My Modem.” You can find the whole article under a new title, see <a href="http://desertstream.org/breaking-porn-addiction/">Breaking Porn Addiction</a>.<br> For Current Dad’s<br> Here are some helpful resources from <a href="https://covenanteyes.com/affiliates/idevaffiliate.php?id=660">Covenant Eyes</a>:<br> <br> * <a href="https://covenanteyes.com/affiliates/idevaffiliate.php?id=660&url=380">5 Sure-Fire Ways to Motivate Your Child to Use Pornography<br> </a><br> * <a href="https://covenanteyes.com/affiliates/idevaffiliate.php?id=660&url=377">Tips for Talking To Your Kids About Porn</a><br> * <a href="https://covenanteyes.com/affiliates/idevaffiliate.php?id=660&url=378">5 Mistakes Parents Make When It Comes to Talking About Porn</a><br> * <a href="https://covenanteyes."></a>
