Back From The Borderline | BPD & CPTSD Recovery

In this episode, you’ll join my dog Cody and me for a walk in the witchy woods while I break in my new Dr. Marten boots. (Spoiler alert: wearing those boots was a terrible choice.) On our walk, I’ll explain why a book about self-compassion made me incredibly furious this week. After that, I’ll tell you why my spirit mother archetype is a mixture of RuPaul and Grandmother Willow from the 1995 Pocahontas movie. Want to check out the book that inspired this episode? Click here to buy Self-Compassion by Kristin Neff, Ph.D. Resources mentioned in this episode:■ Brooke Castillo’s podcast (she inspired the walking format!)■ Glennon Doyle (she inspired the part of my rant about ‘becoming’ our true selves) **To connect with me directly, join the community on Instagram and support the podcast to keep it ad-free, visit www.backfromtheborderline.com ** See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

If the days leading up to your period have left you feeling like you were going to either die or murder someone you love, this episode is for you. Been there. I salute you. I. Feel. You. In today's episode, we'll discuss how we can begin to understand and work with our menstrual cycle's cyclical and spiritual nature for improved physical and emotional well-being. A few months ago, I discovered the practice of "Menstrual Cycle Awareness" (MCA) through the work of RedSchool founders Alexandra Pope and Sjanie Hugo Wurlitzer. Through this new framework and awareness of my own inner "seasons," I've felt like I can better ride the inevitable waves of life and lessen (and even eliminate) some of my most severe premenstrual symptoms (which have been so severe, I’ve qualified for a diagnosis of PMDD.) This episode aims to pass on much of what our mothers (and their mothers) didn't tell us about our menstrual cycles and how we can reclaim that power together as part of our unique hero's journey. **To connect with me directly, join the community on Instagram and support the podcast to keep it ad-free, visit www.backfromtheborderline.com ** Below is a summary of topics covered in this episode: ■ How societal frameworks and generational trauma have played a part in how I have perceived menstruation throughout my life■ My experience (and struggle) with hormonal birth control and IUDs seem to contribute to more severe emotional dysregulation■ Exploring the signs and symptoms of PMS and its more severe BFF “PMDD” (Pre-Menstrual Dysphoric Disorder)■ Why do the days leading up to our period fill us with “an intense darkness of the psyche and heightened anxiety” that is asking us to SLOW DOWN■ Exploring the spiritual & psychological history of menstruation■ Understanding the four phases of the menstrual cycle■ Research exploring ancient menstrual rituals & rites within other cultures ■ A breakdown of the practice of Menstrual Cycle Awareness (MCA) and our “inner seasons” (inner winter, inner spring, inner summer, and inner fall/autumn.)■ How I track my cycle and inner seasons using the Flo app (not a sponsor, just an app I enjoy!)■ How I’ve been using “seed cycling” for hormone balance and better emotion regulation■ How I used the ThinkDirty app to identify the toxic items in my home and beauty routine ■ The changes I’ve felt in my life and body since putting f these practices and beliefs to work in my own life consistently Resources mentioned in today’s episode: ■ Flo Period Tracking app (I use the free version)■ Think Dirty Shop Clean App■ Wild Power (book that explains MCA and the inner seasons)■ Woman Code by Alisa VItti (book that gave me the idea for seed cycling)■ Blog article by Rising Woman that breaks down the inner seasons one by one See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Alessia Camoirano Bruges is a 27-year-old Italian-Colombian artist based in London. Her unique “fluid art” is inspired by its ever-changing nature – just like humans and our emotions. She combines her passion for color psychology, color therapy, fluidity, and her emotional intensity into her artwork. She sees each piece as a cathartic experience in which she can connect to her inner child and relaxed into fully embodied presence & mindfulness. In this episode of the podcast, we discuss Alessia's battle with her eating disorder and her struggle with emotional dysregulation & chronic pain that led her to her personal rock bottom moment where she realized *she* was the common denominator in her chaotic life. We also discuss how she bravely decided reach out for help and found healing through DBT and EMDR and how this allowed her to begin channeling her big emotions into creative projects, which resulted in her artwork being published in massive publications and getting hired as a documentary filmmaker for Vice. **To connect with me directly, join the community on Instagram and support the podcast to keep it ad-free, visit www.backfromtheborderline.com ** Below is a summary of topics covered in this episode: ■ Alessia’s experience growing up as an “emotionally intense” child (often being told she was “too much”)■ How to learn to embrace your emotional intensity as an inherent strength and creative tool■ Mollie & Alessia discuss their shared struggled with oversharing■ Getting “the ick” (the sudden desire to rid ourselves of romantic partners or friendships)■ Alessia’s experience trying to repress her eating disorder/depression with extreme fandom■ Realizing the impact of failing to consider the consequences of our impulsive actions■ “Am I toxic?” Recognizing we are the common denominator in the chaos of our lives■ Suffering in silence with “high-functioning” mental health issues (eating disorders, depression, BPD)■ Alessia’s personal battle with chronic pain■ Her experience with therapists “not believing” that she had BPD■ How Alessia finally found a therapist that was a good match for her who took a holistic approach to treatment (treated her as person, not a disorder)■ Alessia’s struggles with emotional flashbacks (and how EMDR therapy helped her with this)■ How painting has become her most effective therapeutic method■ Alessia’s early childhood intuitive relationship with color that grew into a passion for color psychology■ Alessia’s struggle with imposter syndrome even after the critical acclaim and success of her artwork■ Her experience getting hired to work for Vice and creating documentaries Connect with Alessia:Alessia’s WebsiteAlessia’s interview on Imi Lo’s podcast, Eggshell TransformationsIG: intenseartalessiaDocumentary Alessia worked on for Vice about Polish skater and artist Gonzi and his fight against depression and borderline schizophrenia See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Reflecting on the Euphoria character "Cassie," Evan Rachel Wood's new documentary "Phoenix Rising" (about her struggle with domestic violence, grooming, and sexual assault at the hands of singer Marilyn Manson), and recent events with Kim Kardashian and Kanye West inspired me to sit down and reflect on my own chaotic experiences with grooming, domestic violence and sexual assault throughout my teens and twenties. I realized that the thread that connected all of the chaos was an underlying disconnection from my intuition or "gut feeling." In this episode, we discuss how to reconnect to our sense of inner knowing and how to move forward and heal from toxic connections that we previously thought were love but weren't. **To connect with me directly, join the community on Instagram and support the podcast to keep it ad-free, visit www.backfromtheborderline.com ** Breakdown of topics covered: ■ A timeline of my chaotic love life from the ages of 15-28■ How so many of us lose a connection with our intuition in childhood■ How being a late bloomer in school and struggling to fit in turned into an obsession with male validation■ Sexual grooming: my experience being groomed by men in their 30s and 40s between the ages of 15 – 17■ How I learned that rape isn’t black and white ■ Rebound relationships & domestic violence(rushing into things too soon before knowing the person)■ My experience meeting Zaz and understanding that true love is “friendship first” (finally finding safety in a relationship)■ Strategies on tapping into our intuition when we’ve lost a connection with it (practical exercises from Martha Beck) Resources Mentioned on This Episode:Phoenix Rising Documentary with Evan Rachel WoodThe Gathering Room Podcast5 Steps for Tapping Into Your Intuition (Article by Martha Beck)“Trip Down Intuitive Memory Lane” Exercise (Lesson 3)Intuitive Scoring (Lesson 4)Intuition Conversation with Non Dominant Hand (Lesson 5)   See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

On this episode, we’ll sit down together and discuss the most important lessons I’ve learned in my recovery journey since starting the podcast eight months ago. Below are all the topics I dive into: ■ Friendships■ Relationships■ Spirituality■ Social media■ Setting boundaries■ Becoming a better listener■ How we can reconnect with our bodies■ Being more authentically ourselves (releasing obsession with appearances)■ Reflections on the tarot card The Tower (reading of the “Tale of Maid Maleen) **To connect with me directly, join the community on Instagram and support the podcast to keep it ad-free, visit www.backfromtheborderline.com ** Resources discussed on today’s episode: Yoga With AdrienneShaking to release stress and traumaVagus nerve reset exercise with Sukie Baxter See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Even before she came online as The Holistic Psychologist and amassed almost 5 million followers on Instagram in just over three years, Dr. Nicole Lapera was a “human fascinated with other humans.” While working with her clients as a clinical psychologist, she began to see the limitations within the traditional mental health system. A system that she noticed tended to label symptoms as disorders. Her extensive research into trauma, epigenetics and the importance of conscious awareness contradicted much of what she’d learned in school. She began to see and believe that our diagnoses and symptoms don’t have to be with us for life. Nicole’s book, “How to Do the Work,” spent 5 weeks on the New York Times bestseller list, and she’s got two more on the way. Her next book (which will be hitting shelves in about two years) is all about how to cultivate what she calls “heart-based (or 'heart-coherent') authentically connected relationships.” In this episode, I sat down with Nicole to discuss all things love, intimacy, and connection. **To connect with me directly, join the community on Instagram and support the podcast to keep it ad-free, visit www.backfromtheborderline.com ** Breakdown of topics covered: ■ Why we keep repeating the same dysfunctional relationship patterns over and over■ How a fear of silence can prevent us from holding space for our intimate partners■ How am unresolved fear of death and change can prevent us from truly and intimately connecting with the people we love■ Why you may feel stuck in an endless cycle of seeking treatment for your mental health (the importance of digging into the underlying cause and not just treating symptoms)   ■ How the behaviors that sabotage our attempts at love and connection in adulthood are the same behaviors that kept us safe in childhood■ Understanding the concept of “love” as a core universal human need as it relates to our early childhood survival and development■ How feelings of unworthiness manifest in parent/child relationships (and is perpetuated and repeated throughout our adult romantic relationships)■ How to prepare with your partner BEFORE arguments happen (to minimize the fallout, shame and regret later)■ Struggles with control and micromanaging: how giving our partners unsolicited (and even well meaning) advice can damage connection and intimacy■ The importance of grieving the end of relationships (and the harm that can come from forcing ourselves to move on too quickly)■ How a lack of understanding our own needs and desires stops us from connecting with our partners■ The role boundaries and space play in the strengthening of relationships■ Triad Polyamory: Nicole’s experience being in a “throuple” and what she’s learned about intimacy and connection living and growing with two romantic partners  Connect with Nicole:Instagram | @theholisticpsychologistWebsite | https://theholisticpsychologist.com/Book | How to Do the Work See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

This episode is all about the magic of self-inquiry and how to practice it to combat the chronic feelings of emptiness and identity issues so common in those who struggle complex trauma. Self-inquiry (also often spelled self-enquiry) is the action of SELF observation by an individual. **To connect with me directly, join the community on Instagram and support the podcast to keep it ad-free, visit www.backfromtheborderline.com ** Below is a summary of topics covered in this episode: ·      How to uncover your “blind spots” (ways we think and act that sabotage us and prevent us from connecting deeply to ourselves and others)·      What is self-inquiry? (And how it’s used in Radically Open Dialectical Behavior therapy, also known as RO DBT)·      Understanding how to find your “edge”·      Central principals involved in self-inquiry·      Learning how to “out ourselves” (sharing the personal insights or understandings developed from our self-enquiry with others)·      How self-inquiry is deeply connected to spirituality·      What the imagery and symbolism in the tarot card “The Hermit” can teach us about self-inquiry·      Journaling prompts to get you started on your path to self-inquiry SELF-INQUIRY JOURNALING PROMPTS (Part one) Assessments 1)    What do you like about yourself? [List all of your positive attributes]2)    What is good in your life? [List everything you have going for you]3)    List your accomplishments. [Include any obstacle you have overcome and any victory you’ve achieved]4)    Make a list of the most important experiences you’ve had, the peak experiences that have had a pivotal effect on your life. (Part two) Goals 1)    List all the things you’d like to change about yourself.2)    List the things you’d like to accomplish in the future.3)    List the most important goals of your life, the things you would like to do, have, and be. The journaling prompts and excerpts about the Hermit card are from “Following Your Inner Path” by Alexandra Collins Dickerman. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

*Trigger Warning: this episode contains brief mentions of suicide* About Our Guest: Toronto-based 24-year-old Award-nominated video essayist CJ THE X has blown up on YouTube in just one year, with over 200,000 subscribers and counting. CJ's talents don't stop at YouTube. He is also a musical force to be reckoned with, transmuting his explosive emotions into songs that explore his battle with his mind.  On This Episode: CJ and I sat down to talk about his BPD diagnosis, how he's overcome many of the beliefs and behaviors that kept him stuck in a hell of his own creation, how DBT therapy saved his life, and how he continues to use those skills to help manage his day-to-day life as a self-employed creative carving his unique path.  **To connect with me directly, join the community on Instagram and support the podcast to keep it ad-free, visit www.backfromtheborderline.com ** Below is a summary of topics covered in this episode: ■ CJ’s experience growing up as a child with an active imagination■ Feeling forced into the “real world” as a teenager■ His experience being diagnosed with BPD■ Struggles with suicidal thoughts and behaviors that ended in inpatient psychiatric care■ Being labeled “high functioning” and not getting taken seriously by psychiatrists■ Exploring the self-sabotaging behaviors and beliefs that kept him stuck■ Struggles with fear of abandonment■ Chronic feelings of emptiness (“feeling like there’s a hole inside that you can never fill”)■ Navigating feelings of shame and self-hatred■ The impact of having a lack of distress tolerance■ How DBT therapy and skills saved his life■ CJ’s experience and description off the “FP” or “Favorite Person” relationship■ How everyone can benefit from thinking dialectically■ How CJ transmutes his feelings into his art■ How giving back to others and our community can improve our mental health  Connect with CJ: https://cjthex.com/ See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

**Trigger Warning** This episode discusses suicide and suicidal ideation, and some people might find it disturbing. If you or someone you know is suicidal, please, contact your physician, go to your local ER, or call the suicide prevention hotline in your country. For the United States, the numbers are at the bottom of the show notes. The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 800-273-TALK (8255), or message the Crisis Text Line at 741741. Both programs provide free, confidential support 24/7. About This Episode: The popular image of someone in danger of suicide goes like this: A person has suicidal thoughts. It’s a crisis. The person gets help, and the crisis resolves within days or weeks. That’s the popular image, and thankfully it does happen for many people. But for others, suicidal thoughts do not go away. Their suicidal thoughts become chronic. Chronic suicidal thoughts are common in borderline personality disorder and complex trauma. The mental health care system in the United States was set up with acute (and not chronic) suicidality in mind, which means many individuals aren’t getting the kind of help they need.  In today’s episode, I sit down with licensed clinical social worker Catherine Humenuk, who specializes in BPD, CPTSD, and addiction. Before practicing privately, Catherine spent five years working in emergency rooms managing risk assessments and involuntary commitments for individuals with recent suicidal ideation/attempts.**To connect with me directly, join the community on Instagram and support the podcast to keep it ad-free, visit www.backfromtheborderline.com ** Below is a summary of the topics covered in this episode:  • Understanding the difference between acute and chronic suicidality and how the latter is managed slightly differently• How it can be unhelpful or even escalate behavior if chronically suicidal individuals are hospitalized• How the current mental health system in the US is not set up to best help chronically suicidal individuals, leaving some mental health professionals “burnt out, hardened, and jaded”• How to identify someone who is at an immediate (acute) high risk of suicide and the best interventions to use to ensure immediate safety• Understanding why some individuals have chronic suicidal thoughts/intent• How we can learn to empathize with the suicidal wishes of our loved ones with BPD/cPTSD while simultaneously instilling hope for change• How emergency rooms assess suicidal risk with chronically suicidal clients• Understanding alternatives to hospitalization and how to identify when hospitalization is necessary• Why some mental health professionals consider people with BPD “high risk” and will refuse to work with them at all (and how to resiliently overcome this stigma)• Why certain mental health professionals (including Catherine) choose not to take health insurance (the answer may surprise you)• Mollie & Catherine’s personal experiences with suicidal ideation and how these feelings are more common than you might think (and a message of hope) Catherine’s blog post that details how to create a “safety plan” and how to find your local mental health crisis service: https://bpdeducation.com/blog/f/safety-planning-and-crisis-kits Connect with Catherine: https://catherinehumenuklcsw.com/ See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Many people who are asked to identify their “true self” (apart from their specific beliefs and behaviors) draw a complete blank. This sense of shame-spiraling after being asked to talk coherently about our sense of identity is even more pronounced for those of us with BPD and CPTSD. Being true to yourself requires that your whole Self be “whole” – or “integrated.” I recently got into a new book, “The Way of Integrity” by Martha Beck, which points out that “integrity is the cure for psychological suffering. Period.” In this episode, we’ll dive into how much of what makes our lives miserable (people-pleasing, staying in toxic relationships, self-sabotaging behaviors, and coping styles) is because we are out of touch with what makes us feel whole. In these moments, our defensive emotions and reactive impulses overrule our Higher Selves. In these moments, we are living out of integrity. In this episode, I’ll walk you through how to resurrect the Self fully and transform your well-intentioned but misguided and disowned childhood parts into wholeness. Into integrity. **To connect with me directly, join the community on Instagram and support the podcast to keep it ad-free, visit www.backfromtheborderline.com **Below is a summary of topics covered in this episode: ■ (Intro) Why practical skills and therapy might feel like they’re not “working” if you’re living out of integrity■ How the new book I’m reading - The Way of Integrity by Martha Beck - inspired this episode (and a little story-time read of a short excerpt!)■ How and why we compromise our integrity■ How the word ‘integrity’ is intimately related to the psychological concept of ‘integration’■ How being out of integrity leads to splits in our personality and disconnects us from our true selves■ History of internal family systems therapy and how it relates to the concepts of integrity and integration■ Understanding how our different “parts” try their best to protect us from psychological/emotional pain but end instead causing mental health problems and compulsive/maladaptive behaviors■ Understanding and connecting with our “inner conductor” (also known as the higher self, or seat of higher consciousness)■ Becoming aware of our deeply buried “inner exiles” (the most vulnerable & deeply wounded childlike parts of ourselves)■ Examples of how our protective and non-integrated parts make it impossible for us to uphold our inner integrity and keep us stuck in feelings of loneliness, powerlessness, and shame■ How different parts of our personalities change an adapt to survive continuous abuse and neglect in childhood■ Understanding and accepting our caretakers as flawed humans who were disconnected from their “inner conductors” and letting their disowned parts rule the show■ How we externalize old feelings of inadequacy, abandonment and worthlessness and project them onto our partners and friends in adulthood Resources mentioned on this episode:Book | The Way of Integrity: Finding the Path to You True Self by Martha BeckExcerpt from the book posted on Oprah DailyArticle | How & Why You Compromise Your Integrity See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

This is part two of my interview with licensed clinical psychologist Dr. Jayce Long. If you haven’t already, go back and listen to episode 31 to hear this interview in its full context. About my guest: Dr. Jayce Long has training in contemporary psychodynamic individual and group treatment, as well as DBT-skills/mindfulness-based and existential approaches. **To connect with me directly, join the community on Instagram and support the podcast to keep it ad-free, visit www.backfromtheborderline.com **Below is a summary of topics covered in this episode: ■ My experience with bullying in junior high while also navigating emotional neglect at home■ How individuals with avoidant attachment styles and those with preoccupied/disorganized attachment styles often attract one another (and can complement one another in certain circumstances)■ How to navigate inevitable conflict in intimate (and family) relationships■ Self-awareness vs. Self-Absorption: are you being selfish, self-centered or simply self-aware? ■ Learning to accept the trust and intimacy in relationships take time■ The importance of setting emotional boundaries and stating our needs■ The difference between emotional or “affective” feelings and “belief/narrative” feelings (and the power that comes with this understanding for people with borderline traits)■ Learning to identify and express (within ourselves) the 6 ‘core’ emotions: Anger, sadness, and fear (painful emotions) and curiosity, love, joy (pleasurable emotions)■ Capturing and tuning into “complicated” emotions by checking in with our bodies ■ Why I decided that giving “advice” to others doesn’t align with my values■ Understanding the perfectionistic nature of our “inner critic” and how it helped us survive when we were young■ Critiquing Pete Walker’s concept of “raging” at our inner critic and how we may need to evolve past this phase in our recovery journey Follow Jayce on Instagram: (@darebeingwith) See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

This is part one of two episodes with licensed clinical psychologist Dr. Jayce Long. Dr. Long has training in contemporary psychodynamic individual and group treatment, as well as DBT-skills/mindfulness-based and existential approaches.**To connect with me directly, join the community on Instagram and support the podcast to keep it ad-free, visit www.backfromtheborderline.com ** Below is a summary of topics covered in this episode: ■ What is the unconscious mind and how does it affect our daily lives?■ How repression (of emotions) is an unconscious defense mechanism to keep our disturbing or threatening thoughts from becoming conscious■ Am I emotionally abusive? (How I came to terms with the emotional abuse I inflicted upon my past/current partners)■ Why it’s time to stop labeling feelings as “good” and “bad” (or positive/negative) ■ Toxic shame: what it is and how to cope■ How critical thinking skills can help us deal with splitting (black and white / all-or-nothing thinking)■ How to recognize signs of arrested emotional development (age regression) in ourselves■ How understanding the concepts of the paranoid-schizoid and depressive positions can help us see how we continue to label people and things “all good” or “all bad” into adulthood■ Understanding healthy vs. maladaptive dissociation■ Coping with paranoid thoughts and drama addiction■ Breaking the cycle of generational trauma (how our parents’ sh*t becomes our sh*t)■ Borderline personality disorder’s links to early attachment (the connection between BPD development & disorganized attachment styles)■ History of the term “Borderline” in BPD■ What are my needs? (Identifying our emotional needs when we find it difficult to do so)■ How a lack of parental “mirroring” in childhood impacts our sense of self-worth in adulthood■ How to deal with emotionally neglectful parents: finding compassion for ourselves - and them - in the process■ Understanding the connection between anger and grief (why ‘bottling it up’ can be harmful to our health) Resources mentioned on this episode:YouTube Video | Decoding Mother-Infant Interaction with Dr. Beatrice BeebeFollow Jayce on Instagram: (@darebeingwith) See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Long-term listeners will know the unique part spirituality, tarot, symbolism, and mythology have played in my recovery journey. I came across Elliot Adam’s work at a very dark time in my life – his words helped me better understand myself and begin my own “hero’s journey.” By listening to this episode, I hope that his wisdom will have a similar impact on you, my listeners. When there are feelings we’re not willing to feel, that’s where a lot of us get “stuck.” As I began to work with the images in the tarot more, I understood myself in a new way, which was incredibly therapeutic for me. Dr. Elliot Adam has professionally read tarot for clients for over 25 years. After launching his website, ElliotOracle.com, he has attracted a substantial international clientele, including Hollywood scriptwriters, high-profile journalists, actors, doctors, and entrepreneurs. Elliot’s online success led to the publication of his book, "Fearless Tarot."(To listen to my full episode on The Hero’s Journey mentioned in the intro of this episode, go back and listen to episode 20.)**To connect with me directly, join the community on Instagram and support the podcast to keep it ad-free, visit www.backfromtheborderline.com ** Topics covered on this episode:■ How symbolism in the Tarot can help us access the unconscious mind and become more deeply connected with ourselves■ Common misconceptions about the Tarot■ Understanding psychology and personality through archetypes and symbols■ Connecting to our Higher Selves (and the meaning of the Temperance card)■ The concept of “the hero’s journey” (or the "monomyth") as it relates to the major arcana and narratology/comparative mythology ■  Exploring self-sabotaging thought patterns (the meaning of the 10 of swords)■  Allowing ourselves to “feel through” our repressed emotions■ How society tells us we should be constantly happy and the impact this has on our mental health■ Reframing the idea of death and how to move through the fear of it■  Use of the major arcana as a reparenting tool■ Elliot’s experience growing up poor in an evangelical Christian household struggling with his sexuality■ Elliot’s early connection with Greek mythology and specifically the goddess Athena■ Elliot’s battle with severe panic attacks and perfectionism during his time as a professional oboe player■ Carl Jung’s idea of “the shadow”: Elliot’s thoughts on how we can use the Tarot to explore this aspect of ourselves (and the paradox of finding comfort in our suffering)■ What self-love means to Elliot and his advice to those of us who hates ourselves and struggle deeply with this concept■ What the word (and card) strength means to ElliotResources directly mentioned in the episode: Book | Seventy-Eight Degrees of Wisdom: A Book of Tarot by Rachel PollackBook | Following Your Path by Alexandra Collins Dickerman Connect with Elliot:https://www.elliotoracle.com/https://www.instagram.com/elliotoracle/ See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

I had the pleasure of sitting down with the incredible (and YouTube famous) Dr. Fox to talk all things BPD. This is a conversation you won’t want to miss. Check out the full episode description for a detailed list of topics we cover. With nearly 150,000 subscribers on YouTube and two decades of experience under his belt, personality disorder expert Dr. Daniel Fox is a popular and influential psychologist as well as a multi-award-winning author (links to his books are listed in the resources portion of the notes.) Dr. Fox is also an internationally acclaimed speaker and the founder and director of Applied Psychological Services, PLLC, based in Texas.**To connect with me directly, join the community on Instagram and support the podcast to keep it ad-free, visit www.backfromtheborderline.com ** Some of the topics Dr. Fox and I cover on this episode: ■ Core components of borderline personality disorder (also known as BPD or EUPD)■ Managing “core content” and “destructive surface content”■ Navigating relationships when someone you love has BPD (both from the perspective of the person with BPD and from the partner’s perspective)■ Managing splitting behaviors■ BPD and feelings of chronic emptiness (how to combat these feelings)■ How to choose self-love rather than spiraling into thoughts of toxic shame■ What does BPD recovery look like?■ Why Dr. Fox says he loves working with people with BPD■ Dr. Fox’s perspective on stigma against BPD (and other cluster B personality disorders) in the mental health field■ How people with BPD can find their authentic selves■ BPD and age regression (why people with BPD often feel as though they revert back to feeling “childlike” in moments of stress or splitting)■ Splitting (black and white / all-or-nothing thinking)■ Dr. Fox shares some of his client success stories (what recovery from BPD actually looks like) The YouTube video version of this interview:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WI6u4Y_MGdY&t=12sFollow Dr. Fox on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/DrDanielFox Dr. Fox’s brand new book that focuses on “complex BPD”:Complex Borderline Personality Disorder: How Coexisting Conditions Affect Your BPD and How You Can Gain Emotional Balance Dr. Fox’s Older Books:The Borderline Personality Disorder WorkbookNarcissistic Personality Disorder ToolboxAntisocial, Narcissistic, and Borderline Personality DisordersAntisocial, Borderline, Narcissistic and Histrionic Workbook See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

According to Dr. Anita Federici, new research shows that 40%-50% of people diagnosed with borderline personality disorder, don’t have BPD at all. The potential reasoning behind misdiagnosis? A fundamental misunderstanding of and lack of awareness around the concept of “emotional overcontrol.” On today’s episode, we dive into these new findings. Researcher, clinical psychologist, personality, and eating disorder specialist Dr. Federici has over 20 years of experience in her field. Not only that, she owns a practice in Ontario, which offers a fully adherent Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) program, as well as a Radically Open DBT (RO-DBT) program for those who struggle with emotional overcontrol.**To connect with me directly, join the community on Instagram and support the podcast to keep it ad-free, visit www.backfromtheborderline.com **Below are some of the concepts Anita and I cover during this episode:        ■ The difference between emotional undercontrol (UC) vs. overcontrol (OC) and how these concepts are changing the way BPD (and complex trauma) is viewed, diagnosed and treated ■ Anita’s experience meeting and working with Dr. Marsha Linehan, the creator of Dialectical Behavior Therapy (insert me hardcore fangirling at this point of the episode like the massive nerd that I am)■ New neuroscientific research (from the last 5-6 years) regarding the BPD brain■ How identity diffusion relates to emotion dysregulation■ Dr. Thomas Lynch and his incredible contributions to BPD research: the connection between “Quiet BPD,” emotional overcontrol, and masking behaviors■ How to determine if your temperament sways more towards overcontrol or undercontrol (spoiler alert: the answer lies in childhood)■ How society teaches us to suppress big emotions (and reinforces/rewards more “socially acceptable” perfectionistic behavior)■ How a new form of DBT therapy for individuals with emotional overcontrol, Radically Open DBT (RO-DBT), has drastically changed assessment procedures and treatment recommendations■ How clinging TOO tightly to diagnostic labels can keep us stuck (and why it’s important to think dialectically about diagnoses)■ Anita’s thoughts on mental health professionals deliberately withholding diagnosis information/hypotheses from their patients  ■ Understanding why it is not legal for registered psychotherapists/social workers to communicate formal diagnoses■ Is there a “cure” for BPD? (Painting a realistic - and optimistic - picture of hope, recovery, and remission)■ Why people suffering with complex trauma SEEK chaos (fighting the boredom & emptiness that comes with recovery and how to manage these feelings)■ Exploring the concept of “emotional leakage” in overcontrolled individuals■ How to make sure a DBT program/provider is “fully adherent” and what those treatment programs look like■ Anita provides a realistic explanation behind much of the BPD stigma and misunderstanding that exists in the mental health community Anita’s recommended resources:https://behavioraltech.org/ (Marsha Linehan’s Behavioral Tech Website)https://www.youtube.com/c/DBTRU (Official YouTube page for the DBT clinic at Rutgers University directed by Shireen Rizvi) Connect with Anita:https://www.instagram.com/dranitafederici/ See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.