I Want to Put a Baby in You!

Kara Rubinstein Deyerin is an NPE (not parent expected), mom, wife, Jew, writer, cook, knitter, and connoisseur of all things human. Two years ago she wanted to see where in Africa her father's family came from. Her over-the-counter DNA test revealed she was 50% something, but it wasn't from any African ethnicity. This meant the man on her birth certificate couldn't be her genetic father. She lost her bi-racial identity with the click of a mouse. Kara discovered she was 50% Ashkenazi Jew. The DNA pandora's box she opened led to an identity crisis. She's a passionate advocate for genetic identity rights. Read her blog about being Unexpectedly Jewish (www.UnexpectedlyJewish.com) in Seattle. Kara also co-founded the non-profit organization Right To Know which helps to educate the public and professionals on the complexities of the intersection of genetic information, identity, and family dynamics. Visit www.RightToKnow.us to learn more. Listen to Kara as she discusses with Ellen and Jenn: • The definition of NPE. • Her family history and upbringing. • The culture shock when moving to live with her grandparents. • Deciding to take a DNA Ancestry test. • Coping with the shock of learning she is not who she thought she was. • Talking with her mother about the results and learning of her conception. • The journey of trying to find her genetic father and his side of the family. • The touching reaction of her non biological father. • What she is doing to help fellow NPEs. • Her thoughts on anonymous donations. • How you can help support her non-profit, “Right To Know” and other NPE’s. Want to share your story or ask a question? Call and leave us a message on our hotline: 303-997-1903. Learn more about our podcast: https://iwanttoputababyinyou.com/ Learn more about our surrogacy agencies: https://www.brightfuturesfamilies.com/ Learn more about Ellen’s law firm: http://trachmanlawcenter.com/ Learn more about Kara’s non-profit: www.RightToKnow.us

Eric Wrubel’s legal practice is devoted to handling complex family and matrimonial matters. He is accomplished in negotiating the amicable dissolution of marriages as well as taking these cases to trial if settlement is not possible. Eric has dealt with a large variety of issues in family and matrimonial matters, including complex equitable distribution questions, novel support and custody issues, as well as being on the forefront in same-gender marital issues. A skilled trial lawyer and appellate advocate, Eric was involved in the trial and appeal of the seminal case in New York dealing with the validity of foreign pre-nuptial agreements. He has litigated, written and lectured extensively on same gender marriage and divorce, civil unions, domestic partnerships and their tax consequences. Listen to Eric as he discusses with Ellen and Jenn: • The start of this incredible story, get your pens and paper ready! • Couple M – Eric’s clients. • Couple Q – Asian couple/ birth mom. • Couple T – Armenian couple. • All couples used the same California fertility clinic. • Couple M gets call for a paternity test for “quality control” • Couple M learning their embryo was transferred to Couple Q. • Couple T’s embryo also transferred to Couple Q. • Couple Q only transferred female embryos, but pregnant with twin boys. • Couple Q give birth to “twin” Armenian boys, not Asian, like them. • The emotional court ruling that Couple Q give the babies over to Couple T and Couple M. • The fertility clinic’s response to the mix-up. • Eric (happily) admits to being wrong on a previous episode. • Eric’s next exciting case. Want to share your story or ask a question? Call and leave us a message on our hotline: 303-997-1903. Learn more about our podcast: https://iwanttoputababyinyou.com/ Learn more about our surrogacy agencies: https://www.brightfuturesfamilies.com/ Learn more about Ellen’s law firm: http://trachmanlawcenter.com/ Learn more about Eric’s law firm: https://www.wbny.com/

Naomi Less is an internationally renowned singer, composer, musician, educator and a Founding Ritual Leader of the Lab/Shul community. Aside from touring and leading worship for her Lab/Shul community, Naomi has a national presence as a powerful feminist in the Jewish music world - she hosts her show “Jewish Women Rock show” on Jewish Rock Radio and co-created and co-stars in “TRYmester”, a touring musical performance piece about fertility journeys. She serves as Vice President for Uprooted: A Jewish Response to Fertility Journeys. She is beloved by communities where she’s served as an artist-in-residence both for her performance and her creative spiritual leadership and facilitation. If you want to hear Naomi’s original music, check her out on spotify, on LabShul.org or anywhere you hear or watch music. Jill Wolfe and her husband struggled with unexplained infertility for 4.5 years before having their first child, Eliana, via a gestational surrogate. There were many years of sadness, failed IVFs, and finally elation with the joy of finally becoming a parent. A couple years later their daughter Mia was born via their same surrogate. Jill lives in Minneapolis with her husband, two angels and dog Jojo. Jill has a Master’s in Education and was a bilingual Spanish teacher before having children. Since having children, she has been working in medical sales and is currently working in Biotechnology at Shire specializing in rare disease. Listen to Jill and Naomi as they discuss with Ellen and Jenn: • Naomi and her 7-year fertility journey. • Jill and her journey to, and through, surrogacy. • The rocky road of clomid, multiple failed transfers, and learning of other options. • The joys of learning her surrogate was pregnant and the birth of her daughter. • A second journey. • Naomi discovering the reason for her infertility. • The surprising responses she received for sharing her infertility journey. • Creating vows to get through her infertility journey. • Coming to the realization she needed an egg donor. • Coming up with the funds for the egg donation. • The formation of UpRooted! Want to share your story or ask a question? Call and leave us a message on our hotline: 303-997-1903. Learn more about our podcast: https://iwanttoputababyinyou.com/ Learn more about our surrogacy agencies: https://www.brightfuturesfamilies.com/ Learn more about Ellen’s law firm: http://trachmanlawcenter.com/ Learn more about UpRooted: https://weareuprooted.org/

Carolin is originally from Mexico City. Her family moved to Denver when she was five, where she has lived most of her life. Carolin practices in the areas of real estate related litigation and business litigation. Specifically, Carolin’s practice has primarily focused on landlord-tenant law (both commercial and residential evictions and review of leases), mechanic liens, general real estate matters, homeowner association issues, partition of real estate, business disputes, and contracts. In her spare time, Carolin likes to ski, be with family, cook, travel and volunteer for different causes. Listen to Carolin as she discusses with Ellen and Jenn: • Her dual citizenship background. • Her infertility journey leading to gestational surrogacy. • Learning of connections and options in Mexico. • Finally, a successful pregnancy! • Meeting her now husband shortly after the surrogacy embryo transfer. • Finding out she was pregnant!! • The birth, by surrogate, of her son • The nightmare of the US consulate refusing to issue a passport to her son, and no clear path to getting home. • Finding help in an unexpected place. • Her advice to those considering surrogacy in Mexico. • An update on her beautiful family. Want to share your story or ask a question? Call and leave us a message on our hotline: 303-997-1903. Learn more about our podcast: https://iwanttoputababyinyou.com/ Learn more about our surrogacy agencies: https://www.brightfuturesfamilies.com/ Learn more about Ellen’s law firm: http://trachmanlawcenter.com/ Learn more about Carolin’s law firm: www.topelsonlaw.com/

Episode 82: Beware of the Home DNA Kit - Danielle Teuscher and Jill Teitel by I Want to Put a Baby in You!

Ryan's career as an Assisted Reproduction Technology attorney was born of a personal, four-year infertility struggle shared with his wife. This challenging experience to start his own family gives Ryan a unique perspective - one of an intended father, a party to a gestational surrogacy agreement, and an experienced attorney - to fully understand the emotional, practical, and legal issues facing patients when pursuing infertility treatments. Ryan earned his J.D. from The John Marshall Law School in Chicago and Bachelor's Degree in Finance from Ohio University in Athens, Ohio. Ryan is a professional member of RESOLVE, the American Bar Association, the Illinois State Bar Association, and the Chicago Bar Association. Listen to Ryan as he discusses with Ellen and Jenn: • Ryan’s background. • The start of his and his wife’s infertility journey. • Their loss of their first pregnancy and realizing that surrogacy is their only option. • Preparing for their first egg retrieval. • Beginning the process of trying to find an agency to find a surrogate. • Some requirements they had when searching for a surrogate. • Matching with their superhero surrogate. • The birth of their healthy baby boy. (Yay!) • The impact of his infertility journey and deciding to change careers. • Becoming an active advocate for others struggling with infertility. • RESOLVE Advocacy Day and how you can get involved. Want to share your story or ask a question? Call and leave us a message on our hotline: 303-997-1903. Learn more about our podcast: https://iwanttoputababyinyou.com/ Learn more about our surrogacy agencies: https://www.brightfuturesfamilies.com/ Learn more about Ellen’s law firm: http://trachmanlawcenter.com/ Learn more about Ryan’s law firm: https://www.ryanferrantelaw.com/ Learn more about Resolve: https://resolve.org/

Attorneys Eric Wrubel and Sophie Jacobi-Parisi are law partners at Warshaw Burstein in New York. Both practice in the area of complex family and matrimonial law. A heated email conversation between Eric and Sophie over shocking Covid-19 custody rulings, and the appropriate role of the court system, inspired this moderated debate. And given the medical issues involved we brought in an expert, emergency room physician Dr. Christina Yannetsos. Eric Wrubel has dealt with a large variety of issues in family and matrimonial matters, including complex equitable distribution questions, novel support and custody issues, as well as being on the forefront in same-gender marital issues. Despite his extensive credentials and easy going manner, Eric will confess that Sophie is much more likeable and that he is quickly forgotten once his friends and admirers meet her. Sophie Jacobi-Parisi concentrates her practice in all areas of matrimonial and family law. She is experienced handling complicated custody cases, particularly custody matters involving children with special needs. Sophie is experienced in negotiating prenuptial, separation and settlement agreements and she also has litigation and trial experience in New York’s Family and Supreme courts. Dr. Christina Yannetsos qualified for and attended the 2004 Olympics in Athens, Greece. After an injury stopped her from competing, she pursued her life-long passion of caring for patients. She graduated from the University of Colorado with honors, completed medical school and a residency in Emergency Medicine, becoming a Board-Certified Physician. Christina is a passionate advocate and -- more importantly than the doctor or Olympics stuff -- a former guest of the podcast. Listen to the debate with Ellen and Jenn: • Eric, Christina, and Sophie’s background. • Medical workers losing custody because of their risk of exposure to Covid-19. • The steps medical professionals are taking to protect themselves and their families. • Who needs to make the decision on custody issues during the pandemic? • Other first responders that are at risk of these custody issues. • Why the courts need to set up procedures and access to court proceedings to work out these issues. • Is self-help the answer? Want to share your story or ask a question? Call and leave us a message on our hotline: 303-997-1903 Learn more about our podcast: https://iwanttoputababyinyou.com/ Learn more about our surrogacy agencies: https://www.brightfuturesfamilies.com/ Learn more about Ellen’s law firm: http://trachmanlawcenter.com/ Learn more about Eric and Sophies law firm: https://www.wbny.com/

Robin Pope is an ART Attorney in Oregon with more than 25 years of adoption and family formation law. Robin graduated from Lewis & Clark Law School in 1981, when adoptions were closed, surrogacy as a solution to female infertility was a recent development, and assisted reproductive technologies such as gestational surrogacy, egg donations, and embryo transfers were newly emerging methods for family building. After her personal experience with infertility, her law practice shifted its focus from family law to adoption and family formation law. Robin is a member of the Oregon State Bar and a Fellow in the Academy of Adoption & Assisted Reproduction Attorneys. In addition to representing adoptive parents, birth parents, surrogates, and intended parents for the past 20 years, Robin has represented the position of the Oregon State Bar on adoption and surrogacy issues. Listen to Robin as she discusses with Ellen and Jenn: • Her background and how she started practicing ART Law. • Transitioning from Family Law to adoptions and eventually ART Law • Handling the first surrogacy case in Oregon. • How her life and the surrogacy world has changed in Oregon due to the Covid-19 pandemic. • The impact of the travel restrictions and closing of passport agencies. • Families stuck overseas while their baby is born in the U.S. Now who cares for the baby? • Status of the Oregon courts and parentage orders. • How the courts are helping the surrogacy process. • Her thoughts on how future surrogacy arrangements will be impacted by the Covid-19 pandemic. Want to share your story or ask a question? Call and leave us a message on our hotline: 303-997-1903 Learn more about our podcast: https://iwanttoputababyinyou.com/ Learn more about our surrogacy agencies: https://www.brightfuturesfamilies.com/ Learn more about Ellen’s law firm: http://trachmanlawcenter.com/ Learn more about Robin’s law firm: http://www.robinpope.com/

Ida Parisi is a lawyer in Italy specializing in fertility law and family law. She assists couples and singles to build their families through assisted reproductive technology. She also acts as an independent consultant for fertility centers and sperm and egg banks. Listen to Ida as she discusses with Ellen and Jenn: • An update on her first-hand experience of the COVID-19 quarantine in Italy. • Adjusting to working from home and staying home during the pandemic. • The general mood of the people of Italy. • Europe and Italy’s current stance on IVF. • Her thoughts on the future of IVF after the pandemic passes. Want to share your story or ask a question? Call and leave us a message on our hotline: 303-997-1903 Learn more about our podcast: https://iwanttoputababyinyou.com/ Learn more about our surrogacy agencies: https://www.brightfuturesfamilies.com/ Learn more about Ellen’s law firm: http://trachmanlawcenter.com/ Learn more about Ida’s law firm: https://www.avvocatoidaparisi.com/en/

Emily Field and Melissa Fleck are co-authors of “Experiencing Surrogacy.” Emily overcame a long, hard, and emotional road for her to finally become a mom with the help of Melissa, her gestational carrier. Emily is very open about her fertility journey and feels that, when you go through something difficult in life, who better than you to do something about it for others. Emily and her husband Gregg started Field Fertility in 2016, which is a legal and consulting business working with intended parents, surrogates, egg donors, sperm donors, and embryo donors. Melissa currently spends her time as a mom to two very active kids, is a wife to a hardworking law enforcement officer, and is an active member of the surrogacy community. She has been working at the Center for Surrogate Parenting, Inc. since 2016, where she is a surrogate case manager. Having been a surrogate herself, she gets to pay it forward by interviewing and guiding potential surrogates on their surrogacy journey, working for the same agency that brought her and her intended parent and coauthor, Emily, together. Melissa also enjoys working out at her local boot camp-style gym, watching her kids play sports, attending Dodgers games, spending time with friends and extended family, and watching as many movies as she can. Listen to Emily and Melissa as she discusses with Ellen and Jenn: • How they came about co-writing a book on their surrogacy journey together. • Emily’s infertility journey. • Melissa decision process on becoming a surrogate. • Emily and Melissa addressing the stigmas with surrogacy. • Discussing the embryo transfer and other aspects of their journey. • Tips and advice from Emily and Melissa. Want to share your story or ask a question? Call and leave us a message on our hotline: 303-997-1903. Learn more about our podcast: https://iwanttoputababyinyou.com/ Learn more about our surrogacy agencies: https://www.brightfuturesfamilies.com/ Learn more about Ellen’s law firm: http://trachmanlawcenter.com/ Buy “Experiencing Surrogacy” on Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/Experiencing-Surrogacy-Perspective-Surrogates-Pregnancy/dp/1734034408

Born and raised on the big island of Hawaii, Ashley Mareko knows the value of “ohana” (family), whether by blood or friendship. This strong tradition has been a guiding principle to Ashley as a 3-time(!) surrogate and through a career providing support to the surrogate community and intended parents. She feels blessed to be doing what she loves making a difference in people’s lives. Listen to Ashley as she discusses with Ellen and Jenn: • Her background and famous relative. • How she got involved in surrogacy. • Her first surrogacy journey experience. • Finding a new agency to try again. • The difficulties she faced because of her termination beliefs. • Discovering the Intended Parents became pregnant on their own! • Carrying her experience into her job now. • Her advice on mourning and the worst-case scenarios involved in surrogacy. • Advise to future surrogates and intended parents. • What to look for in an agency. Want to share your story or ask a question? Call and leave us a message on our hotline: 303-997-1903. Learn more about our podcast: https://iwanttoputababyinyou.com/ Learn more about our surrogacy agencies: https://www.brightfuturesfamilies.com/ Learn more about Ellen’s law firm: http://trachmanlawcenter.com/ Learn more about Ashley’s Employer, SurrogateFirst: https://surrogatefirst.com/

Erin Chrusciel and her husband Stephen spent a solid decade consumed with trying to build their family. After multiple miscarriages, dozens of failed cycles, therapists, psychiatrists, acupuncturists and herbalists she finally had to mourn the loss of using her own eggs to have a baby. With the unexpected generosity of two different egg donors, the Chrusciel’s are finally a family of four. Erin provides support to the 1 in 8 who battle infertility by running a peer-support group in Western Massachusetts through Resolve New England, sharing her TedX talk https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Reg_xQL4Oc0 & her Instagram account @This_is_Trying Listen to Erin as she discusses with Ellen and Jenn: • Her experience and struggles trying to start her family. • Being told she is pregnant with triplets but then receiving the devastating news. • The discussion with her doctor to use donor eggs or adoption. • Learning of Resolve New England and attending their conference. • Coming to accept using donor eggs. • Chance meeting with her future egg donor. • The embryo transfer and pregnancy journey using donor eggs. • Finally, the birth of their first child! • Trying for another baby and finding another donor. • A successful transfer and pregnancy of their second child. • The impact of support groups. Want to share your story or ask a question? Call and leave us a message on our hotline: 303-997-1903. Learn more about our podcast: https://iwanttoputababyinyou.com/ Learn more about our surrogacy agencies: https://www.brightfuturesfamilies.com/ Learn more about Ellen’s law firm: http://trachmanlawcenter.com/ Learn about Colorado Fertility Advocates: https://coloradofertilityadvocates.org/ Learn about Erin’s Photography: https://www.erinchrusciel.com Learn more about Resolve New England: https://www.resolvenewengland.org/

Stephanie Jones is a former automotive engineer and now works as a serial entrepreneur, executive coach, and business consultant. Stephanie is passionate about advancing surrogacy laws in Michigan and helping educate intended parents about the surrogacy journey regardless of where you live. After having a son and then experiencing two rare cornual ectopic pregnancies and a near death experience, surrogacy was Stephanie and her husband’s only option for expanding their family with a child that shared their DNA. Interesting facts about Stephanie include that she raced ATV motocross, was nominated to the Miss Michigan pageant, was a top athlete in high school, likes dogs more than people (on most days), is obsessed with 1950’s vintage fashion, mud wrestled in Vegas, loves a good tequila on the rocks, and will always be a small-town Michigan girl no matter where life takes her. Listen to Stephanie as she discusses with Ellen and Jenn: • Her background and how she got involved in advocating for infertility benefits. • Her experience trying to start her own family. • Her shocking near death experience with a cornual ectopic pregnancy. • Turning to surrogacy, but learning it is illegal in Michigan! • Pressing on and proceeding with a surrogacy journey in another state. • Three failed matches and learning the importance of using an agency. • The struggle of being in a state that doesn’t understand surrogacy and what she is doing to change that. • How you can help Stephanie legalize surrogacy in Michigan. Want to share your story or ask a question? Call and leave us a message on our hotline: 303-997-1903. Learn more about our podcast: https://iwanttoputababyinyou.com/ Learn more about our surrogacy agencies: https://www.brightfuturesfamilies.com/ Learn more about Ellen’s law firm: http://trachmanlawcenter.com/ Learn about Colorado Fertility Advocates: https://coloradofertilityadvocates.org/ Learn about Stephanie’s professional coaching: https://www.stephaniejonescoaching.com/ Join Stephanie in the cause for Michigan at: http://www.MichiganFertilityAlliance.com/ Find Stephanie on IG: @starofmyowncircus @mifertilityalliance @stephaniejonescoaching

Jacqueline Mroz is a veteran science writer and journalist. Her articles have appeared in the Science section of The New York Times, The New York Post, The Bergen Record, Parents Magazine and New Jersey Monthly Magazine. Jacqueline has been interviewed on national radio shows and television, including The Today Show, about her work. She has taught journalism at Montclair State University and Rutgers University. Her popular New York Times article about a sperm donor with 150 children became the book, Scattered Seeds: In Search of Family and Identity in the Sperm Donor Generation. She lives in Montclair, New Jersey with her husband and three children. Listen to Jacqueline as she discusses with Ellen and Jenn: • Her background and the upcoming book festival on March 28th! • What lead her to write about sperm donation. • Connecting with Wendy Kramer (See Episode 66 - There’s No Such Thing As Anonymous Sperm Donation). • The process of writing Scattered Seeds. • Fascinating history regarding sperm donation. • A few of the best stories from the book. • Sneak peak of a story she is working on for the New York Times! • Her thoughts and feelings on the donor industry. Want to share your story or ask a question? Call and leave us a message on our hotline: 303-997-1903. Learn more about our podcast: https://iwanttoputababyinyou.com/ Learn more about our surrogacy agencies: https://www.brightfuturesfamilies.com/ Learn more about Ellen’s law firm: http://trachmanlawcenter.com/ Purchase Jacqueline’s books: https://www.amazon.com/Jacqueline-Mroz/e/B07J3Q7HGN Learn more about the Montclair Literary Festival: https://succeed2gether.org/montclair-literary-festival/

Pamela Hirsch is a co-founder of Baby Quest Foundation which provides financial assistance through fertility grants to those who cannot afford the high costs of procedures such as IVF, gestational surrogacy, egg and sperm donation, egg freezing, and embryo donation. Prior to establishing the non-profit charity, Pamela was one of the original franchise owners of The Princeton Review, a national test preparation company. In 1993, she was named to INC Magazine’s Top 500 List as head of one of the fastest growing private companies in the United States. Listen to Pamela as she discusses with Ellen and Jenn: • Her background and how she got involved with infertility. • The forming of her non-profit helping those struggling with infertility. • The use of social media and celebrities to help promote Baby Quest Foundation. • How to get in touch with Baby Quest Foundation to help you in your infertility journey. • Advice for completing the application process -- NEXT DEADLINE IS APRIL 2, 2020. • How the applications are processed. • How you can help! Want to share your story or ask a question? Call and leave us a message on our hotline: 303-997-1903. Learn more about our podcast: https://iwanttoputababyinyou.com/ Learn more about our surrogacy agencies: https://www.brightfuturesfamilies.com/ Learn more about Ellen’s law firm: http://trachmanlawcenter.com/ Learn more about Baby Quest: https://babyquestfoundation.org/