BIG Life Devotional | Daily Devotional for Women

Sometimes I feel let down. Do you ever feel that way? You get your hopes built up for something and reality is a harsh disappointment. For many, that kinda sums up Spring 2020. Here we are finally in this new season where the bitter cold has passed and the time for road trips, camping trips, and weekend adventures is here … yet, we’re stuck inside. We’re stuck at home. We’re separated from those we want to see and grounded to our own rooms like a sneaky teenager that got caught. Maybe that’s what this is … all that stuff you got away with in your younger years … now it’s catching up to you and girl you’re grounded! This just isn’t what we were expecting. Remember when you created your vision board for 2020 … uhhh huhh, yeah, none of this was on it! This is the great letdown of 2020. Hey, it’s okay to be disappointed in today’s reality. It’s okay to mourn what we have lost. It’s okay to be letdown, but honey don’t stay there. Your letdown can be your setup. You trust that God is in control, right? And you trust God knows what he’s doing, right? And do you trust that God cares about the details of your life? Yes? Then this letdown is leading to something greater! We’re just in the middle. That’s right, we’re in the middle. In between the letdown and the reveal of greater. This is temporary. Psalm 30:5 says “Weeping may endure for the night, but joy comes in the morning.” This is the night, morning is on the way. We just remembered a letdown that became a setup. The letdown of Friday. The day Jesus was crucified and placed in a tomb. We’re quick to jump to Sunday because we know what Sunday brings, but imagine not knowing. Imagine being there and not having the gift of knowing the story. It’s Saturday and the tragic events of yesterday are real. Friday happened and the whole world fell dark. Hope was lost. Imagine how Saturday must have felt. Jesus was dead and he was buried and the world was supposed to move on. People got up that day and fed their families. They changed their clothes and they showed up for life. They did what they had to do, and they did what they could. But they had no idea they were in the middle. In between the disappointment of defeat and the miracle of victory. It was just Saturday and they couldn’t see Sunday. But through the middle, through the darkness, and through the reality of what had happened on Friday, eventually Sunday came. And Sunday changed everything. It’s what we celebrated yesterday. Resurrection. The stone had been rolled away and Jesus was no longer in the tomb. He had risen. And this is what God always had planned. The ultimate victory of Sunday … but first the bitter defeat of Friday and the silent ache of Saturday. And isn’t that where we are … the silent ache of Saturday. The new normal has set in, and we’ve lost much. We’re grieving what was and what is no longer. And that’s okay. But honey, Sunday is on the way! You can’t see it right now, but through this pain and darkness greater things will come. This letdown is a setup. God’s plans are unfolding, but we’re just in the middle. It may be Monday, but it’s more like a month and a half long Saturday where we find ourselves waiting for the Sunday that reveals how all of this has been used for good. YOU DON’T KNOW WHAT GOD IS DOING HERE. BUT YOU CAN TRUST IT WILL BE GOOD. Yesterday morning I got up and I put on my flowery Easter dress I’ve worn for the past several years in a row and I rocked it in my kitchen. I watched Elevation Church on Facebook and Easter happened in my house for the first time ever. Think about it, how amazing the resurrection wasn’t cancelled this year,

Good Friday, the day we remember the crucifixion of Jesus. The personal sacrifice of One for all. For me. For you. On this day we remember Jesus carrying that cross for us. We remember him willfully stretching out his arms as they nailed him to that cross, signifying “this much.” This is how important you are. This is how loved you are. This much, with arms wide open. And we remember his excruciating death, the pain inflicted, the burdens carried, the weight of it all which took his final breath. What an incredibly sad day. The day the world fell dark and our Jesus was crucified for being nothing other than holy, righteous, miraculous and pure. And yet, we call it Good Friday. The worst day in history when evil prevailed and the son of God was unjustly put to death between two thieves. It was bad. Painful. Dark. Terrifying. Unfair. And yet it was Good. It was the ultimate good. It was the good the world could not see which God had planned. The good which would not be revealed without the bad. The good which would allow the worst to first unfold. The good which would require some time. Let’s read the story of this day: Mark 15: 22-39 They brought Jesus to the place called Golgotha (which means “the place of the skull”). 23 Then they offered him wine mixed with myrrh, but he did not take it. **Do you know why the offering of this wine mixed with myrrh is important? Why such a specific, seemingly unimportant detail to be included in the record when Jesus refused it? It’s important because this mix was a drug which dulled the senses. An offering to the one facing an agonizing death by crucifixion, making it more bearable. But Jesus refused. He refused ease from the suffering. He wanted a clear mind while he hung on the cross. Why? So he could think of me and you. So he could give wholly of himself, enduring it to the full for us. 24 And they crucified him. Dividing up his clothes, they cast lots to see what each would get. 25 It was nine in the morning when they crucified him. 26 The written notice of the charge against him read: the king of the jews. 27 They crucified two rebels with him, one on his right and one on his left. [28] [a] 29 Those who passed by hurled insults at him, shaking their heads and saying, “So! You who are going to destroy the temple and build it in three days, 30 come down from the cross and save yourself!” 31 In the same way the chief priests and the teachers of the law mocked him among themselves. “He saved others,” they said, “but he can’t save himself! 32 Let this Messiah, this king of Israel, come down now from the cross, that we may see and believe.” Those crucified with him also heaped insults on him. Could he have come down at that moment? Could he have called down an Army of angels from heaven to avenge him and destroy his accusers? Absolutely. It was all within his power, but it wasn’t within his purpose. His purpose was to pay the ultimate price for us. And because of that purpose, he endured. Because of that purpose, he took the insults, he took the pain and he took the punishment, so that we wouldn’t have to. 33 At noon, darkness came over the whole land until three in the afternoon. 34 And at three in the afternoon Jesus cried out in a loud voice, “Eloi, Eloi, lema sabachthani?” (which means “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?”).[b] 35 When some of those standing near heard this, they said, “Listen, he’s calling Elijah.” I always found Jesus’ final words confusing and burdensome. “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?” Every translation of the bible reads the same. There is no alternate meaning here or way to read it. Jesus is saying God has turned his back on him in these final moments. Why? When Jesus hangs on the cross, despised, suffering, and dying, he has upon himself the entirety of all sin. My sin, your sin,

Today is honored as Holy Thursday. This is the day we remember Jesus’ final meal with his disciples before his crucifixion. That final meal is known as the Last Supper. You’ve likely seen the famous painting by Leonardo da Vinci depicting the scene around the table. Imagine for a moment being at that table. Gathered in that room with Jesus on the night before he would face the cross. Jesus knew exactly what would unfold and he choose to be at that table. He chose to speak powerful words we would remember still today. He chose to give holy instructions to his followers which we will follow today. The account of Jesus final meal is recorded in both Luke 22 and Matthew 26. Luke and Matthew were both there and they each gave their personal accounts. Luke 22: 19-20 “Jesus took bread, gave thanks and broke it, and gave it to them saying “This is my body given for you; do this in remembrance of me.” In the same way, after the supper he took the cup, saying “This cup is the new covenant in my blood, which is poured out for you.” Matthew 26: 26-28 “While they were eating, Jesus took bread, and when he had given thanks, he broke it and gave it to his disciples, saying, “Take and eat; this is my body.” Then he took a cup, and when he had given thanks, he gave it to them, saying, “Drink from it, all of you. This is my blood of the covenant, which is poured out for many for the forgiveness of sins.” This is communion. If you’ve ever been in a church service of various religions and seen the little cups of grape juice and pieces of bread or cracker, they are doing as Jesus instructed in the Last Supper. And here we are home in a quarantine with churches closed for the first time in our lifetime on Holy Thursday. Can’t we still partake? Couldn’t we still remember what Jesus did on his final evening of life here on Earth? Shouldn’t we still honor his teaching? Individuals and families will take part in the first ever global communion right from their homes. I believe this will be a turning of the tides as we turn our hearts and minds toward Christ. A gathering of people around the world remembering what Jesus sacrificed for each of us. A quick google search for live communion being offered on TV, Facebook and individual websites will guide you to an organized service to follow. Traditionally wine or grape juice is used along with unleavened bread such as crackers. If you have these items, great. If you don’t, remember Jesus turned water into wine, I’m pretty sure he can handle our lack of grape juice at this time and can be honored with a Cheese-It. What’s most important is we take the broken bread or the cracker and we remember Christ’s body broken for us. He suffered for you. He took on every sin you would ever commit and it was laid on his body in atonement for your life. And Jesus says “take and eat, this is my body.” Take what I have done for you. Let my sacrifice go within you. Consume what I have offered. Take my body which was given for you. Jesus isn’t a show to be watched from a distance. He’s not a “sit in a comfy seat and watch me” type of savior. No, he’s a come in close and be part of this, personal type of savior. He says “here’s my body, let it be in your body. I will dwell within you.” Get in on this! Blood was an offering for the covering of sins. Before Jesus, a sacrifice was made. A sacrifice of the life of an animal represented the price that had to be paid for the sins which we committed. In the passover, it was a sacrificed animal’s blood on the top of the doorposts of the Jews’ homes that protected their firstborn child from dying when the 10th plague swept through Egypt. The plague “passed over” their homes and they lived. Why? Because of the blood.

God’s goodness and mercy have been chasing you all the days of your life. Following you, pursuing you. Wherever you have been and wherever you go next, know that God’s goodness and mercy is always your companion, always available, and never in short supply. Are there stipulations to this? Like, if you’re a good person? If you pray every day? If you are a member of the church? If you have been baptized? If you don’t cuss? If you read your Bible? If you don’t watch the Tiger King? I mean I need to know ya’ll. What’cha gotta do for this? How do you earn goodness and mercy in your life? The scripture is the final verse of the 23 Psalm. “Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life …” What’s the beginning? “The Lord is my shepherd …” The stipulation isn’t on you honey. This really isn’t about you. You are the sheep. God is the shepherd. Goodness and mercy is the result of who God is, not how you’re performing. A shepherd cares for his sheep because of who he is, not because there’s one sheep that’s really sweet, or really good, or really pretty. That’s absurd. Yet if you think about it, isn’t that the condition we tie to receiving God’s goodness and mercy? I’ve got to whip myself into shape! Maybe if I pray more or promise to go to Church when this is all over, then I can be deserving of more of God’s goodness. He will be merciful to me when I’m faithful to him. That sounds good. It even sounds right in our heads. That makes sense. But faithfulness is for our benefit, not his. Our faithfulness allows struggles to create growth. Our faithfulness brings harvest out of seeds. But our faithfulness doesn’t bring out the good in God, he’s good without us. And if he is good without our faithfulness, that means he can be good when we’ve been bad. When we’ve been wrong. When we’ve strayed, he’s still good. The shepherd is good to his sheep when they are obediently laying down in the green pastures or grazing by the still waters. But he is also good when the sheep wanders off into the wilderness and gets herself in trouble. In fact, what does the shepherd do when one stubborn sheep wanders off? Jesus tells us in Matthew 18:12-13 “If a man has 100 sheep and 1 of them wanders away, what will he do? Won’t he leave the 99 others on the hills and go out to search for the 1 that is lost? And if he finds it, I tell you the truth, he will rejoice over it more than over the 99 that didn’t wander away.” Jesus is talking about our relationship with him. He’s saying “this isn’t about you being good enough or you earning my love, this is about the power of my love no matter what. Wander away, I will chase after you. Get lost, I will find you. And when I bring you back to the place where I have for you, I will celebrate you.” SURELY goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life. Surely. When David wrote this, his words were intentional. He didn’t say maybe there will be goodness. Hopefully I will have some mercy. Possibly, if I get on the right path and stay there. There was absolute certainty here. SURELY. It’s a done deal. It is true. God’s goodness and mercy are following you. Following you. How do you see what is following you? You stop and turn around. What if all this time the good shepherd has been following you in your lost wandering, and all you had to do was stop and turn around. Right here sister, just stop. Let his goodness and mercy catch you and sweep you up. I’m that mom who lost a few of her kids in the store … more than once. Heck, I’m that girl who continually loses her husband in the store still today. (Well,

Has God ever made a way for you before? Have you ever stood on the edge of impossible and seen it unfold? Have you been touched by his mighty power in the past? Has his power brought about provision for you? Somehow you made it through. Have you experienced divine appointments only he could have arranged? You were somehow in the right place at the right time for it to happen. Have you ever felt the guidance of the Holy Spirit, giving you strength which was not your own? Empowered to somehow keep going when every ounce of you wanted to give up. Yes? He’s made a way for you before? He’s empowered you before? He’s guided you before? He’s strengthened you before? Won’t he do it again? He is the way maker. He is the promise keeper. He is the light in the darkness. And honey, this darkness is NOT TOO MUCH FOR HIM! He’s not backing down from this. He’s not overwhelmed or overpowered. No, he is OVER ALL and he is IN ALL. His promises still stand and right here in the middle of this, he is making a way. I don’t just mean this in general. No, he is specifically making a way through your personal darkness. He is at work for YOU, individually, personally. Remember, he’s done it before. Never forget how he has saved you before. Never forget how he has guided you in past storms. Never forget how he has provided what was needed. Never forget how he has strengthened you through it all. Never forget what he has brought you through. Now, won’t he do it again? Isaiah 43 is a reminder and a promise from God. But now, this is what the Lord says— he who created you, Jacob, he who formed you, Israel: God is so personal you can insert your name here. He is the one who created you Kim. He is the one who formed you Angela. This is for you Jennifer. Jessica, he is speaking to you. Insert your name. You are the one he created. He formed you. He made you by his own hands by his own divine design, and this is his personal message to you: “Do not fear, for I have redeemed you; I have summoned you by name; you are mine. God has called you by name and made you his own. You belong to him. When something belongs to you, it becomes your responsibility. If you have a car, it is your responsibility to take care of that car. Why? Because it belongs to you. It’s on you to lock the doors. It’s on you to fill it with gas. If it’s going to get washed, then you’ll be the one washing it. It is yours. And God says, YOU ARE HIS. He takes full responsibility for you. Your days are under his care. He knows every detail of your life, he is fully aware of every hair on your head as well as every worry in your head. He paid a high price for you, the price of his son. Hasn’t he proven his level of responsibility for you? Hasn’t he proven his care when he calls you his own, backed by his action? He has redeemed you fully. And what does God say our response to this should be? DO NOT FEAR. This is an act of trust. We are called to trust God because of what he has done and what he has promised to do. Because we are his. Fear is strongest in the darkness. Isn’t it funny how everything gets scarier in the dark? Watch a scary movie in a fully lit theater and it’s nearly silly. Turn off the lights and suddenly it’s scary. The same noises that terrify you at night aren’t even given a second thought in the light of day. If you are in darkness right now, in a time when you can’t see your way, remember this, Jesus is the light you’re searching for. He is the only one who can show you the way through this. He said in John 8:12 “I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will never walk in darkness, but will have the light of life.”

I grew up in a tiny town in Missouri that no one had ever heard of. Every third year our family had enough money to go on vacation. Our vacation was a single overnight stay in a town 45 minutes away. A town that had a water park, a rollercoaster, go carts, a live show, a lake, and a few motels on a road that everything was built on called “the strip.” This town grew as I grew and now it is a tourist destination for the world. Branson, Missouri. Maybe you’ve heard of it, or maybe you’ve even visited. That was our family vacation spot for one night every third year. I have many memories there. We would roll into town in our metallic forest green 1972 Monte Carlo, drive down the strip and read the motel signs. We were searching for a motel with a vacancy sign. Remember those signs? In the high season, the signs would turn away visitors advertising NO VACANCY. There’s no room available for you here. Keep looking. Then you finally find one that says VACANCY and you know, there’s room for you there. On one particular year our much anticipated overnight stay in Branson landed us in Ben’s Wishing Well Hotel because it was the only vacancy. There was more smoke in the air than there was oxygen, and quarters that operated the bed’s massaging system. There were much more desirable motels in town, but there was no vacancy. Ben’s Wishing Well was available, so it’s where we went. I wonder what the sign outside of your life has said? NO VACANCY. There isn’t room for more. I’m too busy. I’m overwhelmed. There’s no space here. I’m at max capacity. And what if Jesus was the one looking for space? What if he was the one looking for an opening to come and dwell? A place to bring his supernatural. An opening for his power. An availability for his presence. But you had no vacancy. You were all filled up with places to go and things to do. So much noise, so much busy, so much distraction and overwhelm. There couldn’t possibly be room for something more. So Jesus with all his power, Jesus with all his provision, Jesus with all his goodness that far outweighs anything you could have possibly had going on, continued down the strip in search of another place to enter. Another life with a vacancy for him. He wanted your life. He choose you. But your NO VACANCY sign has been lit up for years. … until it wasn’t … Now, we find ourselves with vacancy. What we had just a month ago is suddenly gone. Much that kept us so busy and preoccupied is now shut-down. The noise and the chaos has slowed to a pace we’re not familiar with. Lives that were once over capacity are now empty with no where to go and nothing to do. Uncertainty and fear are our only occupants and they aren’t paying customers, they just take. There was once no time here in this life. There was once no space here in my days. But now … I’ve got time. Maybe you could say the same. Now, I’ve got space. I have a VACANCY where there was once a job. I have a VACANCY where there were once plans. I have a VACANCY where I used to feel certain. I have a VACANCY in places I’ve never known in a capacity other than filled. And Jesus says … NOW SHE’S AVAILABLE! Now I can come in! This vacancy means there is space for me. And honey when Jesus shows up on the scene, when he dwells in the openings of your life, THINGS CHANGE. When Jesus sees a VACANCY his response is “I CAN FILL THAT!” What did you have a month ago that you no longer have today? That open space is now a vacancy. You can view it as a setback and misfortune. And maybe right now that’s how it feels because that’s exactly what it represents at this moment. I’m so sorry for every single thing you’ve lost.

How much has your life changed? Are you missing something you once had which is no longer a luxury you’re afforded? Ya’ll know me by now. You know I’m a generally ridiculously positive person. People tease I wake up farting rainbows, even before my morning coffee. But yesterday morning I had myself a little moment. It was a dangerous combination of being all alone and scrolling through my Facebook memories. It was a reminder of all I’ve lost. My two oldest children are far away in the military and I have no idea when I will get to see them again. My prodigal daughter left our family almost a full year ago and we’re still praying for her return. I haven’t heard her voice or seen her face in over 7 months. My daddy went to heaven and my mama is safely quarantined an hour away from us. For the past 2 decades, these are the 5 people who have been our world. Now, it’s just my husband and I. Is it okay for me to say I just miss them? I miss what was. I miss the kids coming home from school, piling up on the couch with all their friends and eating everything we had in the pantry. I miss planning weekends with my parents. I miss the noise. I miss the happy. I miss the chaos. I miss what was. What are you missing as your new normal is setting in? I bet most of us are missing things we never even noticed a month ago. Things we once wished away. Things we were annoyed or burdened by. Now, we want it back. What will happen when some of these pieces fall back into place? What will happen when the kids all go to school again, the restaurants open and jobs start back? What will happen when those who are working endless shifts right now to keep us alive and keep us functioning go back to a normal schedule with time at home? What will happen when going to the grocery store is just another mindless task? What will happen? How quickly will we forget we missed it all? Lord, don’t let us be on this perpetual roller coaster ride of only wishing for what we don’t have and missing what we do. When we’re up, we miss the down time. And when we’re down, we miss the high. Teach us to just be on the ride and savor exactly where we are. My BIG Life sister Jewel text me a new song yesterday. I have since listened to this song a minimum of 10 times. “Keep Me In the Moment” by Jeremy Camp. Jewel had no idea the timing of this song and how it happened to come on a day when I was longing for moments that had passed, causing me to miss the moments I have. I’ve been thinking ’bout time And where does it go How can I stop my life from passing me by, I don’t know I’ve been thinking ’bout family and how it’s going so fast Will I wake up one morning just wishing that I could go back I’ve been thinking ’bout lately, maybe I can make a change and let you change me So, with all of my heart this is my prayer Singing oh Lord, keep me in the moment Help me live with my eyes wide open ‘Cause I don’t wanna miss what you have for me Singing oh Lord, show me what matters Throw away what I’m chasing after ‘Cause I don’t wanna miss what you have for me Keep me in the moment Oh, keep me in the moment Keep me in the moment ‘Cause I don’t wanna miss what you have for me Here in this moment, God has something for you. But if you’re not in the moment you will miss it. What have we been missing, how much of life has been passing us by, because we’re not in the moment. I don’t want to miss what God has for me today. We’ve been talking a lot about our “daily bread”. We are beginning to understand the provision of God’s hand on a daily basis as the guarantee of future provision has been threatened.

I know I’m being guided somewhere, I just don’t know exactly where. I know I’m continually being protected from something, I just don’t always see the threats coming. I know I’ve been saved countless times, and the majority of those times it’s me I needed saving from. This is what Jesus offers us. Guidance, protection, and saving us over and over again from even ourselves. Jesus says in John 10:11, “I am the good shepherd; the good shepherd lays down His life for the sheep.” Yes, the good shepherd literally laid down his life for us, so don’t you think he has your needs for today covered? Don’t you think he is capable of caring for you in this? In order for the Lord to be my shepherd, I must understand my role and his role. I am the sheep. I am 100% dependent upon my shepherd. And my shepherd is 100% committed to me. A shepherd’s life is fully dedicated to the care and well being of his sheep. He guides them, he protects them, and he saves them. When David wrote the famous 23rd Psalm, he referred to this shepherd/sheep relationship. “The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want. He makes me lie down in green pastures. He leads me beside still waters.” I’ve always had this image of those green pastures as if it were a place of bliss. I see peaceful meadows covered in an abundance of lush green grass and this is where Jesus leads me. This place of more than I need. A place of near perfection. A place of no worries, strain or stress. Dang, I seemed to have missed that green pasture! Maybe that’s the image you’ve had as well. But wait, if those green pastures are so darn great, why would the shepherd have to make us lay down in them? A quick study on the hillsides of Jerusalem where David was referring to green pastures reveal our image of lush meadows couldn’t be further from the truth. This land is mostly dirt and sand. It is harsh and sprigs of grass are scarce. Even in the rainy season there are no pastures of abundance as we imagine. This totally isn’t what I imagined. Crossing these hillsides are narrow dirt paths where shepherds guide their sheep. The dirt paths are spaced just far enough apart so the sheep can reach into the middle of the paths and eat the sprigs of grass. A lot of ground must be covered in order for every sheep to get enough food to eat. There’s not an abundance of grass, just a little sprig. But it’s enough to take a bite, then walk a little further and take another bite. The good shepherd leads his sheep through these sprigs of grass until each sheep has had an opportunity to eat for the day. There’s not always an abundance, especially during the dry season, but the shepherd can be trusted to keep guiding them to enough for the day’s need. And this is how God is guiding us. We may be in that dry season of life. Look around … yip, we are. The abundance we once knew is no longer here. It’s a new season and things just got harder. But I don’t see my shepherd freaking out. He’s not panicked wondering where to guide us or how to care for us. He has already proven there’s nothing he won’t do for us. He died to save us, so I feel confident in his commitment. He’s all in and it’s all for you sister! Over 20 years ago someone stood on my doorstep and asked me my name. I said Pamela. They then quoted John 3:16 to me and said “Did you know, God so loved Pamela, that he gave his one and only son to save her?” Woah … game changer. If I were the only person in the world, he would have done it just for me. He would have done it just for you. So, can the good shepherd be trusted with your current situation? You bet he can! So, what about those green pastures where he makes us lay down?

Jesus was a stone roller. He did the impossible. He brought dead things back to life. He rolled the stone back from his own grave to rise up. And never forget, HE IS STILL A STONE ROLLER TODAY! He never stopped rolling stones and bringing dead things back to life. He never stopped reaching down, calling out and raising up. And can’t you see, that’s what he’s doing today. He’s preparing to roll some stones. Yes, stones in your life. Impossible in your life. Things that are dying right now in your life, drying up and ceasing to produce … they will be brought back to life. You may be down right now, but sister it’s time to rise up! John 11 tells us the story of Jesus’ dear friend Lazarus getting sick. Jesus loved this man dearly and cared for him greatly. But check this out, in verse 6 it says “So when he heard that Lazarus was sick, he stayed where he was two more days, and THEN he said to his disciples, “Let us go.” Wait … what? Jesus knew he was sick and because he loved him so much he waited two days, then he went? And during this time while Jesus was waiting, Lazarus actually died. It wasn’t that Jesus didn’t know, he knew. It wasn’t that he couldn’t go earlier, he waited. He waited because he loved him. He let things get worse because he cared. My human mind doesn’t quite understand this. If I could save a loved one from suffering, I would do it immediately. No one could stop me from going. Nothing could delay me from being there. In fact, if I could snap my fingers and make our current circumstances change, I would. I would bring back every job. I would send home every nurse and doctor to be with their families because not one person would be sick. I would fill the streets with celebrations and unlimited hugging and dancing. Free tacos for everyone! That’s what I would do. And I would do it today with no delay. But God reminds me in Isaiah 55: 8-9 “(Pamela) your ways are not my ways. As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways.” I would fix this whole mess in a hot minute if I could … that would be my way. But God’s ways are not my way, his are higher and better. And so, here we are in the middle of it all. In the middle of the waiting. In the middle of the unfolding. In the middle of the mystery. And we trust. We trust that God is doing something here even while we can’t see it. We trust he will be right on time when the time is best and he will do what only he can do. Until then, things may get worse. Lazarus’ family stood by his bed and watched him die. They buried him. It was too late and he was gone. All while Jesus was waiting; waiting because he loved him; waiting because there was a plan and that plan had a timeline; things got worse. We were never promised our faith in God would eliminate the “worse” in our lives. We were never offered an insulated safe place where life wouldn’t touch our reality. We were never told our journey would be easy or the path would be straight. No, in fact we were shown even for those Jesus personally loved while he walked this earth, THINGS GOT WORSE. Now, Jesus is on the scene 4 days after Lazarus has died. The funeral was already over. His body is now in a tomb covered by a stone. Lazarus’ sisters, Mary and Martha knew Jesus had the power to save Lazarus before he died, but now he shows up and they know it’s too late. But stone rolling Jesus says, I’M RIGHT ON TIME. Jesus always knew what he was doing. His delay was intentional because there were greater plans at work. The worst had to happen so the miracle could unfold and there would be no question of God’s great power. So the stone was rolled away and Jesus says “Lazarus, come forth.”

You have permission to breathe now. Maybe you’ve been holding your breath a lot lately. Most of us have. Uncertain times causes shallow breathing. You know what it can also cause? Shallow living. If we’re not careful, these uncertain times and hardships can cause us to get in a rut of shallow breathing and shallow living. We kick into survival mode and forget we are here to do more than just survive, we must thrive. We start wishing for how it used to be, so quick to jump back to the old life when honey maybe the old way wasn’t really working either. Now isn’t the time for us to just coast, or even just hold on tight. If we come out of this with a whole laundry list of new bad habits, oh girl, we just went backwards. You know what would be better … come out of this with a list of new dreams, new goals, and new creative ideas. My current read is “The Obstacle Is the Way” by Ryan Holiday. It’s a little book about turning trials into triumph. Timely, huh? Did you know some of the largest, most successful companies today were actually created during the hardest of times. We’re talking about hard times of The Great Depression, world wars and financial crisis and crashes. It was during those times Apple, Chevron, Disney, General Electric, and Southwest Airlines were developed. Out of trials come triumph. So here we are in the middle of potentially the largest global trial of our lifetime … some will triumph. Why not us? Why wouldn’t it be us? Within you is exactly what it takes! Are you hoping for BIG things in your future? Have you been praying for big breakthroughs and big changes? Well sister, you have a great BIG God capable of mind-blowing things and as his prized and precious child, you can boldly approach the throne of grace with your dreams and desires. After all remember, the desires of your heart are given to you by your creator in the first place. The seed was planted within you by Him. God doesn’t give you a dream without a path to get there. It IS possible, but likely not in the way you imagined. Here’s where we mess up … we believe if God gave us a desire within our heart for something in our future, one day we’ll just wake up and it will be there. Oh, you believe in magic. That’s magic. Believing in God looks a little different. Here’s how God works: He gives you the seeds and says plant it, water it, care for it, protect it, then you reap the harvest. The path to your dreams is a whole lot more about hoeing and sowing than wishing and waiting. Boldly approach the throne of grace with your request and you will receive … seeds. A little start. A beginning. A hand full of possibility and potential, and what you do with it is completely up to you. Could you already have the answer to your prayers today? Could the seeds all be right here, right now? You say now isn’t the time for dreaming and growing and getting better. You’re wrong sister. God is still handing out seeds. Those seeds have the potential of growing into something so much bigger than what you have today. Why not get you some of those seeds and do something with them? Look at the humble beginnings of Apple and Disney. Both on our previous list of beginning in the hardest of times, but they also began in garages. Not big grand buildings with thousands of employees. Not even a home office. We’re talking about homes so small they didn’t have room for an office in the house, they were in the garage. There’s likely something big you’ve been dreaming about for your life. Something currently out of your reach. You imagine that once you arrive to this destination you will be successful, disciplined, focused. When you’re the perfect size 6 you will of course eat salad for lunch.

Most of us likely feel considerably more anxious today than we did one month ago. Uncertain times and circumstances beyond our control cause our thoughts to wander down dark paths of “what if”. What if this gets worse? What if this last for longer than another month? What if we don’t have enough? What if our family gets exposed? I’m sure your mind has walked a few of these dark paths too. Have you found anything good on those paths? Did you find yourself feeling happier, stronger or better in any way after the barrage of “what if’s”? No, and you never do. So how do we control those thoughts when we can’t control our circumstances? How do we shine light on this darkness? The word used in scripture to describe worry or anxiety is mirimnao. It’s a combination to Greek words, one which means divide and the other which means mind. It literally means divided mind. To worry or have anxiety is to have a divided mind. To feel anxious is to have your mind divided. Faith tells you one thing and fear tells you another. The result is anxiety. I’ve heard it said if you really believe in God, you wouldn’t struggle with anxiety. If you really trusted God, you wouldn’t worry. May I personally say I believe that is a load of BS directly from the enemy to further drive us into a downward spiral of guilt, shame and darkness. Now I’m not only anxious, but I’m convinced there’s something wrong with me that I can’t just trust God. Honey, it’s completely normal to feel anxious. Those “what if’s” are not always just imaginary threats. They are real. They are possible and we were never guaranteed to be spared from all of this. Understand the reason fear and anxiety is talked about so many times in the Bible is because it is REAL and we will all be touched by it. Anxiety, a divided mind. You know God will provide for you, right? You believe that. Yet, when the money isn’t there to pay the bills, it causes you to stress. There’s a division there. And God understands that division. You don’t have to be ashamed of it. We simply need to surrender that division to God and ask him to help bridge that gap. The gap between faith and fear. The gap between believing and seeing. In Mark chapter 9 we read of a father who is seeking Jesus to heal his son. In verse 23 Jesus says to the father “If you can believe, all things are possible to him who believes.” And the father who knows how long his son has suffered, who knows not a single doctor has been able to help, who knows there is no cure for his son cries out to Jesus in verse 24 “Lord, I do believe; help me overcome my unbelief.” What is he saying here? He’s saying I’m struggling. My mind is divided. I believe, yet I don’t see it. I have faith but I still struggle with fear. The “what if’s” are still real. And what did Jesus do in response to this man’s anxiety? He healed his son right before his eyes. God doesn’t turn away from you because of your doubt. He isn’t limited because of your “what if’s”. He can plow right through your divided mind, if you ask him. And that’s the key, if you ask him. What did the father say? “Lord, I do believe, help me overcome my unbelief.” I do believe you will provide for me, help me overcome my unbelief that makes me question how. I do believe you are here in this with me, help me overcome my unbelief that puts so much pressure on me. We don’t have it all together. That’s the truth. You can stop pretending like you do. We simply can’t see what God can see. All we can do is trust he does see it all and he’s working all of this together for our good. And when we trust him,

Has God been faithful to you? Do you have anything in your life as a direct result of his hand of mercy and grace over you? Does he know how you feel about it? Seriously, does God KNOW you’re grateful? Have you told him? Luke 17: 11-19 tells the story of Jesus encountering 10 men with leprosy. Of course Jesus does what Jesus does … he heals them. But what we need to remember is HOW he healed them and WHAT happened afterwards. “On his way to Jerusalem, Jesus was going into a village where 10 men who had leprosy met him. They stood at a distance and called out in a loud voice, “Jesus, Master, have pity on us!” When he saw them, he said, “Go, show yourselves to the priests.” And as they went, they were cleansed.” There’s more to the story, but let’s stop right here. Did you hear that … AS THEY WENT, they were cleansed. It was their act of faith in simply going in the direction Jesus told them to go. On their way, they were healed. It’s not so much about our arrival to a specific destination in life, Jesus just wants us to go the right direction in obedience. And when we do, things change. Yes, our problems are often solved ON THE WAY when we turn and go where God wants us to go. We have become so destination focused. “God, where do you want me to work?” “God, where exactly do you want me to be in 5 more years because I feel like I need to map this all out.” Maybe God isn’t so much about the destination but the direction. What if our prayers became more about “God, help me to go in the right direction.” What if we were to release our incessant need to know how this is all going to work out and when exactly it will happen, and instead have a desire to simply be going in the right direction. AS THEY WENT, THEY WERE HEALED. The lives of the lepers radically changed when they simply pointed in the right direction and started going. Scripture doesn’t even say they ever made it to their destination of meeting with the priests. It was their act of obedience to turn in the right direction that brought their answers. These were outcasts with a highly contagious disease. (Sounds oddly familiar today doesn’t it? Girl, don’t go to Wal-Mart if you have the fever!) These lepers were supposed to hide on the outskirts of town while their limbs rotted off from this horrible disease. They were seeking Jesus for healing. Imagine their disappointment when his only answer was “go over there.” Have you ever asked God for help, and received an answer you didn’t like? I once felt under attack by people who wanted to destroy me. I prayed and God told me he would defend me, don’t fight back. That’s totally not the answer I wanted. I wanted to fight back with a vengeance. I wanted to be proven right. His answer was one I didn’t like. Do you ever get those kind of answers? Answers that don’t seem to fix anything or make any sense. That’s exactly what these lepers received. An answer anyone could have told them. Just go see the priest. That’s like the answer of “just pray about it.” NO DANG IT, I WANT YOU TO FIX THIS! Have we forgotten what faith really looks like? It doesn’t require faith to do exactly what we feel like doing. It doesn’t require faith to follow proven steps. It doesn’t require faith for me to hop in my car and follow the directions of my GPS. I just follow the directions which are clearly taking me closer and closer to my destination. Faith is required when the evidence is against us, when it still doesn’t make sense. It’s a trust that GOD WILL MAKE IT RIGHT. Is that where you are right now? In this place where it still doesn’t make sense? Where you don’t see the way through this?

The non-essentials have been stripped away, and here we are today with a simplified lifestyle. We suddenly see life in a different perspective. We spend our days differently. We eat at home, we stretch what we have, we walk. I don’t know about your part of the world, but ya’ll our Starbucks have all shut down! People are cutting their own hair, breaking out the box color to cover those roots, painting their own nails and trying those at home waxing kits. Oh dang ya’ll, we’re gonna come out of this either all-nautral or some tragic looking beasts. Here’s what I know, WE CAN COME OUT OF THIS BETTER. Better because of the refining fires. Now, in order for the fire to make you better, it must touch you. You must go through that fire. Impurities are only melted away in the heat. So, has today’s circumstances touched your life yet? Are you feeling the heat of the flames? Is this more than just a threat, but a real life unfolding of setbacks and hardship? See it for what it can be my sister, THIS IS REFINING FIRE. This can make us better. Or it can make us miserable. It can steal our progress and stunt our growth. It can dig our hole deeper to a point we never get out. It can ruin relationships. It can destroy hopes, dreams and goals. It can … but it doesn’t have to. Decide now … how will you come out of this? On the other side of lock-down … When we press play again after this great pause … On the other side of being shut-in … HOW WILL YOU COME OUT? Will you be better? Some will come out of this 25 pounds heavier. Some will come out with destroyed routines and new bad habits. Some will come out with damaged relationships and deep wounds. Some will come out with crumpled up goals and given up hope. Some will, but not all. Not me. And how about not you either. What will be the difference here? RESOLVE. Resolve to keep going. Resolve to not give up. Resolve to push harder than ever before, because that is what will be required now. Resolve to resist the easy way and fight for the life you really want. Resolve to not give in to temptation, but show up with the best of us right in the middle of this fire. And on the other side, we will come out BETTER. Galatians 6:9 says “So let’s not get tired of doing what is good. At just the right time we will reap a harvest of blessing if we don’t give up.” This still applies to today. There is still good we can be doing and a harvest will still be on the other side of us not giving up. You still want that harvest … still want that best version of yourself … still want that growth and change … still want that next level of living … then don’t you give up now! No where have I seen God give us permission to give up here. No where have I heard God tell his girls we can just coast now. No where. No … he still charges us to move forward. The story of Joseph in the Bible tells of a man who faced continual trouble. First at just 17 years old, his brothers grew jealous of him and sold him into slavery. Imagine how unfair and hard this must have been. Betrayed by his own family, even believed to be dead by his father. As a slave, Joseph didn’t give up. When all had gone wrong, he still tried to do good. In Genesis 39:3 it says “the LORD was with Joseph, giving him success in everything he did.” Success in everything he DID. Did he receive success in the things he didn’t do? Wouldn’t do? Gave up on doing? No. It says he was given success in everything he DID even in the midst of hard times. What will you KEEP doing right now my sister? What will you not give up on? This is the only way God can give you success in it. How is he supposed to give you success in reaching your health goals this year if y...

Within you is a power at work. A power touching every area of your life. A power that can and will tear down any stronghold, break any chain, move any mountain. This power is at work today at this very moment, changing the unseen and guiding you into your destiny. Within you. There are a whole lot of things I really love about our Creator. His creativity is unmatched. His attention was given to every detail. His handiwork is on display all around us on this Earth. But what really leaves me in awe is he chose to put his very best right inside of us. He gave us Jesus. And he not only gave us Jesus to save us for eternity, but he gave us Jesus to make us better for today. Yes, this day. This one right here filled with uncertainty and chaos. This day is the last day of “freedom” in my county. As of midnight tonight we go on lock-down to help stop the spread of the virus. If we leave our homes for anything non-essential, we could face a $1000 fine and 180 days in jail. This will be our new normal for at least the next 30 days. This is unprecedented. No doubt something no one alive has ever experienced before. And for this, I have Jesus. Inside of us dwells the power to change, the power to grow, the power to improve, the power to overcome. God didn’t just create us and step away to leave us on our own to find our way. He did the unthinkable, the unimaginable, the unbelievable … he sacrificed his son so his spirit would live within us. I don’t face this alone. Neither do you. As followers of Christ, Jesus lives in us. And THAT, well that changes everything. Jesus told us a story in Matthew 13: 33. He said “The kingdom of heaven is like yeast that a woman took and mixed into about sixty pounds of flour until it worked all through the dough.” If you don’t understand bread making, that may not make a whole lot of sense. My mama is a bread maker. Every family gathering, we sit down to a feast and we take turns sharing what our favorite thing is on our plate. Regardless of the prime rib, the fresh caught fish, the homegrown corn or buttery mashed potatoes, without fail, the most treasured thing on our plate is always the bread. Mama’s homemade bread. I grew up watching mama knead that dough and she taught me her craft. The secret is in the yeast. That tiny package of organisms that springs into action when mixed with warm milk or water, egg, sugar and flour. The things which are mostly inedible on their own become the most delicious thing on our plate when that yeast unleashes it’s power. And Jesus says this is what the kingdom of heaven does. He isn’t just referring to the eternity of awesomeness that awaits us after death, the kingdom of heaven is Jesus’ domain and power right here in our lives today. He’s telling us a story of what his spirit living within us can do. This is what’s happening inside of us. Jesus changes us. And it starts small and increases. Yeast is microscopic in size and only a tiny bit is kneaded into dough. Yet, with time, the yeast will spread all through the dough and begin to rise. Change in your life begins the same way. One of my first memories as a little girl was my big brother accepting Jesus. The preacher baptized him in the creek down the road from our house and he said he would come up out of the water a new person. I was convinced I would have a totally new brother. Funny, once his hair dried he looked the same. I remember we went home from the creek and he made his bed. I don’t think he had ever made his bed before. But then the next day, I saw signs of my old brother still there. He wasn’t a brand new person at all. But what was happening here is what happens to all of us after accepting Christ, like a tiny bit of yeast, he was being changed from the inside. Jesus was rising up within him,

Every day of your life has brought you to this day. And this day, the very one you woke up to was known by your Creator before you took your first breath. For me, that first breath was 16,233 days ago and all those days has brought me to today, right here and right now. Have you noticed how easy it is to get caught up in concern over the future right now? Perhaps more than ever before, our thoughts drift to concern of what’s coming and worry of what will be. But the question is, what happens to this day when we’re worried about tomorrow? What happens to the opportunities of today when we’re focused on the uncertainty of tomorrow? What happens to the blessings of today when we’re stressed about next week? What happens to the provision of today when we’re dwelling on what was lost yesterday? What is happening to today? Answer: WASTED Psalm 90:12 “Teach us to number our days and recognize how few they are; help us to spend them as we should.” (The Living Bible) Today has a number. A number that will never come again for you. With this numbered day, come numbered opportunities, numbered blessings, and numbered provisions. They are specific. Specifically allotted for this day of life. Arriving for you for this specific day are opportunities, blessings and provisions. But when you mope, when you stew, when you wallow, when you worry, when you fret, when you stress, when you dwell, the allotment for today is missed and it’s not guaranteed for offering again tomorrow. Teach us to number our days. What does this mean? This means identify each day as an individual, stand alone, one-in-a-lifetime opportunity with unique provisions and astounding blessings. And when we identify today as such, we recognize it’s value and we wouldn’t dare want to waste it. For when we learn to number our days, we will start spending them as we should. So, what is your number today? Go ahead and look it up real quick on www.daysold.com (Pause me now and just come back.) So here I am with my 16,233rd day of life, and you with your specific day of life. Now, how can we spend this one as we should? Here are 3 suggestions for spending today as we should: 1. Be Intentional. Ephesians 5: 15-16 “Be very careful, then, how you live— making the most of every opportunity.” Look at today as the miracle it is and live it as such. Be in such wonder and awe over the magnificent work of God to bring us to this exact day of life that fear and worry is crowded out. What have you lived through to get to today? What have you already survived? What have you overcome? Think about it, that was all to bring you to this day, this exact number of days. And how you live this day builds your tomorrows. What if this day were that important? What if the attitude and actions of today determine the offerings of tomorrow? What if what God has given you today is only for today? Just today. Wouldn’t you seize that opportunity? Wouldn’t you savor that blessing? This is living intentionally. 2. Respond instead of React. Galatians 5:22 “But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control.” How much of this has been running around in your house on quarantine? Running a little short on that patience? Has gentleness been taken out like yesterday’s garbage? Have you been reacting to what is around you instead of responding with what is in you? This scripture says when God’s spirit lives within you, it naturally creates love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. It’s IN you. Maybe not around you, but IN you. Let us stop reacting to what is around us and start responding with what is in us.