Longest Days of our Lives | 24 Podcast

This week, we discuss Hour 18 of 24 season 1. Jack Bauer makes a friend in a flower pot, Kim gets caught in the dumbest drug deal of all time, and David plays gotcha journalism with Sherry. Michael gives a history lesson on bearer bonds, and the boys take an hour and a half to make the most obvious joke imaginable. Highlights include: - Your shirt is my shirt. - Curtis flies under the radar better than Sully. - Captain America sucks. - Whoa, is that Scarface on the podcast? - That's one way to slow someone down.

This week, we discuss Hour 17 of 24's first season. The boys marvel at Kim’s apparent immortality, while amnesiac Teri meets a doctor with a briefcase full of dildos. Jack Bauer lays a trap that goes horribly, predictably wrong, and Elizabeth has a pointed conversation. We finally start running out of time. Highlights include: - Kim MacBauer of the Clan MacBauer - Teri is the most indiscreet adulterer of all time. - Jack explains the magic of fiber optics. - David Palmer remains true to his self. - Stab on them folks.

This week, the CTU safe house’s lawn gets a lengthy manicure, Elizabeth learns a sexy, dangerous secret about her lover, and we see Teri’s spirit physically fly out of her body. Jack spends some time yelling into a phone, and Keith Palmer hatches a devious plan. Highlights include: - Nina gets her feelings hurt. - George Mason returns to the fold. - David attempts fatherhood for two full minutes. - Jovan Myovic proves he can also make a mess. - GOOD HANDS. - Kim came so close to actually making us happy.

This week, we break down hour 15 of 24’s first season. We finally put a name to the angelic face of our sexy assassin: it’s a brand new Drazen. Palmer and Jack finally meet face-to-face, Kim is unsure how is babby formed, and Teri comes to an uncomfortable realization. The boys finally go a week without talking about Sully. Highlights include: - Everyone follows protocol (drink). - The sweatiest spy boy. - Kim, maybe just take a nap again and stop ruining things. - David Palmer straight up hired a hitman. - An ignoble end in a dank NOLA bathroom. - Reinstate this. The following takes place between 2:00 p.m. and 3:00 p.m., on the day of the California Presidential Primary. Events occur in real time.

This week, we break down Hour 14 of 24 Season 1 first, and boy-howdy is it a lot of exposition. Keith Palmer takes over his father’s mission to land him in prison, Teri and Kim get a check-up, and Jack finally gets some peace and quiet. Nina runs into a thoroughly professional phone cleaner, and the boys come around on Tony Almeida. Highlights include: - Hot diggity damn, that’s a sexy assassin. - Y’all know people can hear you shouting about murder, yeah? - People eat. - Alas, poor Kevin. - Someone put a ring on it! - Sorry Cush talks so much in this one. The following takes place between 1:00 p.m. and 2:00 p.m., on the day of the California Presidential Primary. Events occur in real time.

This week, we break down Hour 13 of 24 Season 1. Jack finds light a hopeless place, Kim becomes the greatest threat to her family, and Palmer is forced to start playing the game. The boys enjoy a thirsty mid-season finale, and the body count finally rises. We pour one out for our boy. Highlights include: - Teri goes on a frustrating escort mission. - Tony works the system. - Rick doesn't quite grasp how to interact with your girlfriend's dad. - You a coward, Kevin! - Ira successfully baits a shark.

Honestly, does CTU even have a scheduling department? This week, Jack finally infiltrates the terrorist compound, Kim shows a flash of Bauer DNA, and David Palmer continues his chase for the Worst Father of 2001 Award. Gaines gets his man. Rick looks for Eli, finds another van. Highlights include: - Teri’s got a good head on her shoulders. - Tony comes danger close to cracking under pressure. - That’s just not how HIPAA works. - Did David Palmer ruin the Obama presidency? - CTU and the open office romance. - Light a fire, leave no man behind.

The following takes place between 10:00 a.m. and 11:00 a.m., on the day of the California Presidential Primary. Events occur in real time. We break down Hour 11 of 24 Season 1. Jack Bauer makes a strong bid for worst Uber driver of all time, while Nina and Tony jump into hot water with the new CTU boss. Gaines continues to lose control ahead of a rapidly approaching deadline, and Teri straps up. The Palmers go to school, and David somehow becomes more intolerable. The boys reveal just how quickly they'd break under interrogation (spoiler: don't tell us any secrets). Highlights include: - Jack finds his laughin' place - Kim catches some shut-eye - Pretty sure that's not how tummies work - Mandy continues to fly under the radar - The 24 that might have been - David Palmer is bad at basically everything - Someone was smart enough to not give Dan a working gun

The following takes place between 9:00 a.m. and 10:00 a.m., on the day of the California Presidential Primary. Events occur in real time. The life of our CTU mole, Jamey, hangs in the balance, Jack rolls around in a parking lot, and Milo narrows down the location of a cellular telephone to somewhere in North America, maybe. Gaines has lost control of his operation and the big boss is threatening to pull the plug, the money, and Ira's life. Alberta Green finally makes it to the office, but where is Rayburn? Jack follows a lead so bright, he's got to steal shades.  This was the first recording back from the hiatus, and the boys forget how to intro and who the captain is, but they always remember Tom Hanks contributions to cinema.  Highlights include: Terrible Aerosmith karoake A rare perceptive moment by Rick Jack probably makes Eli poop his pants The kindergarden roast of David Palmer Dr. Alberta Green, love guru Flight 2: Electric Goosaloo

The following takes place between 8:00 a.m. and 9:00 a.m., on the day of the California Presidential Primary. Events occur in real time. Following the attempt on David Palmer’s life, it takes Jack Bauer approximately 6 minutes to escape FBI custody and give a waitress absolute hell for the whole episode. Gaines starts to lose his cool. Jamey has a very low price tag, Lauren doesn’t earn a tip, and Sherry pulls some strings. The show gets a little gross. The boys question David Palmer’s commitment to fatherhood. Highlights include: - Jack finally tells someone they’re running out of time. - Jack’s video game cutscene escape. - Milo just wanna get paid. - Ill-advised bear mace. - The weirdest one-sided phone conversation. - The Secret Service secret sauce: incompetence. - Kim believes in magic. - The plot thickens.

The following takes place between 7:00 a.m. and 8:00 a.m., on the day of the California Presidential Primary. Events occur in real time. The big labor leaders’ breakfast finally approaches, and the buffet table is pretty disappointing. Jack smuggles a weapon and David Palmer espouses the worst of Democratic politics. Tony Almeida joins the circle of trust, the Secret Service drops the ball, and the boys start to question our bad guys’ motives. Kim and Teri have a close shave. Cush struggles with his segues. Highlights include: - Is David Palmer actually a bad person? - Starting to detect some MAJOR PLOT HOLES. - The biggest laptop case in existence. - Michael brags about all his cool talents. - Jack earns a sexy admirer. - Tony’s little brother syndrome remains in full effect. - Curtis continues to question Jack’s murder prowess. - The plot thickens.

The following takes place between 6:00 a.m. and 7:00 a.m., on the day of the California Presidential Primary. Events occur in real time. The sun is rising in LA, which means everyone has free rein to start shooting guns willy-nilly. Some of the shots even hit their target. The Palmers plan a family meeting. Kim and Teri plot their escapes. Jack takes a hostage. The mole is finally revealed, and the boys’ man-crush on Ira Gaines intensifies with every passing second. Highlights include: - Nina almost solves the entire plot, but it’s only Hour 7. - Keith throws a temper tantrum. - Rick earns, but does not receive, his final reward. - Michael reveals the hard limits of his friendship. - Teri makes some questionable choices. - Jack worries about unwanted attention. Jack ignores subtlety. Like, just a bunch. - Finally, CTU colleagues who haven’t been gettin’ busy. - Tony’s nosiness finally comes in handy. - Curtis. Was. Right.

The following takes place between 5:00 a.m. and 6:00 a.m., on the day of the California Presidential Primary. Events occur in real time. This week’s episode delivers a lot of laughter, a lot of love…and one pretty significant murder. The boys are joined by return host Oded who drops some critical orthopedic knowledge. Jack requisitions government property for a family reunion. Senator David Palmer digs deeper into family secrets. Rick digs to China, and Janet catches her breath. The wheels come completely off the podcast at least three times. Highlights include: - Death, the ultimate health complication. - Tony practices helicopter parenting - Palmer’s Secret Service details has more holes than 24’s plot. - Suspicious Dad is definitely a human who produced a human daughter through consensual human sex. - #NotMyFirstLady - Autopsy is a team sport. - This is a Captain Chesley “Sully" Sullenberger podcast now. - Never pull out. Of the political race. - Jack breaks a promise for the last time.

The following takes place between 4:00 a.m. and 5:00 a.m., on the day of the California Presidential Primary. Events occur in real time. The boys lament the lack of dope-ass codenames among our bad guys, and federal agents continue to pretend warrants don't exist. Jack successfully manipulates literally everyone he talks to and shows some pretty serious disdain for due process. David Palmer wrestles with a heavy conscience, and a member of his family blessedly catches a nap. Alan has a really dumb face. Dan hits the deck. George Mason has inconvenient timing, and Curtis weighs the merits of just letting Kim Bauer die. Highlights include: - Surgical theater, free admission. - I just love you. To death. - Janet has the quickest surgery of all time. - Is Jack just a deadly Michael Scott? - Journalistic integrity crumbles like a toddler-made cookie. - Mason realizes time is a flat circle and Jack never stops. - All white girls are the same to Curtis. - Jack finally realizes he works for a federal agency. - Rick gets a promotion.

The following takes place between 3:00 a.m. and 4:00 a.m., on the day of the California Presidential Primary. Events occur in real time. Welcome to the witching hour on the day of the California primary. In the fourth hour of the first longest day of Jack's life, we get a whole raft of 24 firsts: Jack’s first dammit, first CTU lockdown, our first Jack Bauer team-up! Alan and Teri get away with being white, the Palmers practice dangerous breakfast habits, Kim inadvertently promotes the murder of her best friend, and Jack goes rogue for the first – and almost certainly the last – time. Highlights include: - Hey Rayburn, eat a danish on your own time. - David Palmer sips on some danger juice. - Y’all wanna watch some tube? - Jamey hacks things very slowly. - Jack meets his greatest enemy: stairs. - Everyone been on that Rosetta Stone tip. - Michael forgets about being white.