LeadingLDS Podcast

Local LDS leaders are always striving to help single members of the Church feel comfortable in their wards. Each individuals situation is so different that it is difficult to know exactly how to support them. I wanted to gather a group of single LDS members in a room and discuss their experiences with being single in their ward. We talk about the stigma of eternal marriage, the doctrine of sealings, the impact children face, how leaders can help them maintain worthiness, and how to show support when they decide to start dating again. The individuals on this panel interviews include Liz, Brooks, and Brian and Laura Hales. Links: Brian & Laura Hales Interview About Joseph Smith’s Polygamy “A Reason for Faith” Book

On a scale from 1 to 10 how well does your ward members know each other? During a 3rd hour 5th Sunday lesson we had a short activity that was quite telling. As the bishop, I allowed everyone to settle into their chairs where ever they wished. Many sat by friends or spouses, others found any available seat. During the lesson I randomly seated everyone into groups of four. I then had each person rate on a scale from 1-10 how well they knew the other three people in their group (1 = just met, 10 = BEST FRIENDS FOREVER!!!). I then asked the group to add up and find the average rating between the four group members. We then wrote down each average on the board and then took the average of the entire room. My ward is generally friendly so I anticipated the average to be 5 or 6. I was shocked when the average came out as 2.5. Two point five!?!? We then discussed ways to improve that average. Imagine if the fellowship average was a strong 8 or 9. Think of what a new member of the ward would experience as they walked into the chapel for the first time? They would never want to leave or they would for sure look forward to attending the following week. Is a 9 or 10 possible? I think so. If not, it is worth trying for. I challenge you to put your elders quorum or Relief Society through this experiment. Post your findings below. If you are above 7 I want to visit your ward and see what you are doing right.

This Leader to Leader story comes from a BYU Devotional called Constructing Spiritual Stability, by Elder Dale G. Renlund: On one occasion I was assigned to accompany Elder Neal A. Maxwell, then of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles, to a stake conference. It was marvelous to be with one of the most remarkable gospel teachers of this dispensation. At the conference I gained an insight into how he had developed and magnified what was undoubtedly a God-given gift. As we were driving away from the stake center on Saturday evening, he turned in his seat and asked me, “What could I have done better to teach the principles we taught?” I thought he had to be joking. But he kept on grilling me until he extracted from me a comment about some minor thing that might have been slightly unclear. The next day, in the Sunday general session of the stake conference, he clarified that minor thing that I had mentioned. I realized that I was with a humble disciple of Jesus Christ who welcomed counsel, was committed to being a lifelong determined learner, and desired to become better. How we receive counsel makes a difference in whether those around us will feel comfortable in giving us counsel. We can become prickly, cantankerous, and defensive, or we can welcome the input, knowing it is given with loving motives and, if taken in the right spirit, will help us learn and improve.

In this episode we hear from Trent Lee in Las Vegas, Nevada. He has rich experience as an instructor, teaching Gospel Doctrine, early morning seminary, ward mission leader, and currently serves on his stake’s high council. We start off the interview by sharing both of our personal experiences of with Elder Oaks and how that influenced us as leaders. Trent’s Leadership Principles: * What I learned from Elder Nash * Presidency meetings * Monthly home teaching PPI’s * How and what to report for home teaching numbers * Family mission plan Elder Bednar Quote About Alma: “You will be called President by all the people in the stake and that’s appropriate. But I never want you to hear the word ‘President.’ Every single time someone calls you ‘President’ I want you to think of Alma. You read Mosiah 23 through Alma 40 and you become Alma. You’re not running an organization here. You are Alma. And as you begin to organize this new stake, I don’t want you to just fill up the boxes; don’t just call a new stake Relief Society president, don’t just call a new Young Women’s president. You get real clear about the priesthood work. You need help from the Relief Society and the Young Women and others, and you be real clear about what that is and you can’t be clear if you haven’t figured it out for yourself. In fact, don’t you call any stake auxiliaries until you, President Alma, are clear about the priesthood work you need help with.” I said, “And by the way, you only have one task, Alma. Shepherd people to the temple. that’s it. You’re Alma. Shepherd people to the temple, that’s it.” (“A Conversation On Leadership”, February 24, 2010) Links: Download Trent Lee’s Agenda Template Here justserve.org Increase Home Teaching by 20% WorkFlowy Doctrine & Covenants 43:8 LeadingLDS also interviewed Trent’s wife

A story told by Bruce C. Hafen in 1979 in his talk Love Is Not Blind: Some Thoughts for College Students on Faith: I once had an experience that taught me a great lesson about the way a highly developed tolerance for “being realistic” can inhibit the workings of the Spirit in our lives. When I had been on my mission in Germany about a year, I was assigned to work with a brand new missionary named Elder Keeler, who had just arrived fresh from converting—or so he thought—all the stewardesses on the plane from New York to Frankfurt. Within a few days of his arrival, I was called to a meeting in another city and had to leave him to work in our city with another inexperienced missionary whose companion went with me. I returned late that night. The next morning I asked him how his day had gone. He broke into a big smile and said that he had found a family who would surely join the Church. In our mission, it was rare to see anybody join the Church, let alone a whole family. I asked for more details, but he had forgotten to write down either the name or the address. All he could remember was that the family lived on the top floor of a big apartment house. “Oh, that’s great,” I thought to myself as I contemplated all those flights of stairs. He also explained that he knew so little German that he had exchanged but a few words with the woman who answered the door. But he did think she wanted us to come back—and he wanted to go find her and have me talk to her that very minute. I explained to him that the people who do not slam the door in missionaries’ faces are not all planning to join the Church. But off we went to find her, mostly to humor him. He could not remember the right street either, so we picked a likely spot in our tracting area and began climbing up and down those endless polished staircases. After a frustrating hour, I decided that I really needed to level with him. “Based on my many months of experience,” I said, “it is simply not worth our time to try any longer to find that woman. I have developed a tolerance for the realities of missionary work, and I simply know more about all this than you do.” His eyes filled with tears and his lower lip began to tremble. (That elder was no dummy—he recently graduated from Boalt Law School at Berkeley.) I remember it so well—he said to me through those tear-filled eyes, “Elder Hafen, I came on my mission to find the honest in heart. The Spirit told me that that woman is going to join the Church, and you can’t stop me from finding her.” I decided that I had to teach him a lesson. So I raced him up one staircase after another until he was ready to drop, and so was I. “Elder Keeler,” I asked, “had enough?” “No,” he said. “We’ve got to find her.” I began to smolder. I decided to work him until he pled with me to stop—then maybe he would get the message. Then, at the top of a long flight of stairs, we found the apartment. She came to the door. He thrashed my ribs with his elbow and whispered loudly, “That’s her, elder. That’s the one. Talk to her!” Not long ago, brothers and sisters, up on Maple Lane a few blocks from here, that woman’s husband sat in our living room. He was here for general conference because he is the bishop of the Mannheim Ward. His two boys are preparing for missions; his wife and daughters are pillars of the Church. That is a lesson I can never forget about the limitations of the skepticism and the tolerance for ambiguity that come with learning and experience. I hope that I will never be so aware of “reality” that I am unresponsive to the whisperings of heaven.

Brigham Rupp is a full-time seminary teacher in Gilbert, Arizona. He’s served as elders quorum counselor, executive secretary, stake Sunday School, and currently serves as bishop. He served a mission in Chicago, Illinois and share many of his scriptural thoughts at The Silver Grey. In this episode we discuss how he decided to become a seminary teacher and how he was later called as bishop. We also talk about how he handles spiritual thoughts in ward council, being reactive verse proactive, and how to improve one’s ability to teach. Brigham’s 5 Leadership Principles: * Effective Teaching * “Small changes we could make in things we do often.” Pres. Eyring, 1998 CES * “Feast Upon the Words of Christ” 2 Nephi 32:3 * “If ye have not charity, ye are nothing” Moroni 7:46 * “whosoever will lose his life for my sake shall find it” Matthew 16:24-25 Links: The Silver Grey Talk, by President Boyd K. Packer Teaching, No Greater Call: A Resource Guide for Gospel Teaching The Silver Grey Blog

In this episode you get to meet Rick & Karen Francom (my parents). They recently returned from an 18 month of service in the Mongolia Ulaanbaatar Mission. I thought it would be a great opportunity to learn about how church leadership works in a foreign land like Mongolia. They also talk about their formal leadership experience and how surprised they are that I turned out as an adult that contributes to society.

Preparing to go to the temple for your first time can be an experience like none other. Many have complained that their first experience left them a bit stunned and confused (count me among them). Comprehensive preparation is a must and can be difficult at times when we must be careful to keep sacred things sacred. Nobody wants to say too much and many temple prep teachers simple don’t know what can be talked about and what cannot be talked about, so it is easiest to remain vague and push the individual into their first experience unprepared. The way I see it, saying too much is less of an offense than saying too little because a first-timer with little knowledge is forced to be an innocent swine witnesses an experience full of pearls–that is the greater offense. Bishops are tagged with the role of making sure each individual is worthy and also understands the sacred steps they are about to take. The church has produce various temple prep resources but many leave too much up to the teacher in determining what will be said and lack practical advice. Dear Jeff: Candid Advice from an Older Brother on Preparing to Enter the Temple Back in November of 2012 J Washburn posted a question on MormonLifeHacker (worth a read). He wanted to know if others shared his concern about the inadequacy of typical temple prep classes to prepare one for their first visit to the temple. He received some interesting feedback and was determined to do his part to provide a better resource. I received a copy of J’s book and read it in just a few weeks. I was so impressed by how solid his book was that I asked if he would sit down with me for an interview. I feel leaders in the church would benefit from knowing about this resource. Take a minute to watch (or listen to the mp3) of my interview with author J Washburn. Buy the book HERE. Check out J Washburns temple photography at Helaman Gallery (really cool stuff).

A touching story told by Elder David A. Bednar in his book Act in Doctrine: Some time ago I spoke with a priesthood leader who was prompted to memorize the names of all of the youth ages thirteen to twenty-one in his stake. Using snapshots of the young men and women, he created flash cards that he reviewed while traveling on business and at other times. This priesthood leader quickly learned all of the names of the youth. One night the priesthood leader had a dream about one of the young men whom he knew only from a picture. In the dream he saw the young man dressed in a white shirt and wearing a missionary name tag. With a companion seated at his side, the young man was teaching a family. The young man held the Book of Mormon in his hand, and he looked as if he were testifying of the truthfulness of the book. The priesthood leader then awoke from his dream. At an ensuing priesthood gathering, the leader approached the young man he had seen in his dream and asked to talk with him for a few minutes. After a brief introduction, the leader called the young man by name and said: “I am not a dreamer. I have never had a dream about a single member of this stake, except for you. I am going to tell you about my dream, and then I would like you to help me understand what it means.”The priesthood leader recounted the dream and asked the young man about its meaning. Choking with emotion, the young man simply replied, “It means God knows who I am.”The remainder of the conversation between this young man and his priesthood leader was most meaningful, and they agreed to meet and counsel together from time to time during the following months. That young man received the Lord’s tender mercies through an inspired priesthood leader who turned outward from his own concerns to gain a greater acquaintance with the youth whom he served. Similarly, as we develop the character of Christ and act in doctrine, we become His agents in performing His work among His sons and daughters.  

Neylan McBaine was born and raised in New York, New York. She is the founder of the Mormon Women Project and the author of the book Women at Church: Magnifying LDS Women’s Local Impact.  In this episode we discuss the ways local leaders in the Church can consider ways to bring more purpose to women in their wards and branches. It’s a fascinating discussion and it will bless the lives of all leaders that listen. Links: Buy the book Women at Church The First Fifty Years of Relief Society: Key Documents in Latter-day Saint Women’s History A Reason for Faith: Navigating LDS Doctrine and Church History Liz Wiseman’s Book Mormon Women Project Friend Article, “When I Grow Up … I Want to Be an Architect” Ensign Article, “Progression into Relief Society” Sunday School Supplements for Women Neylan’s Blog