Second Run: A Movie Lover's Podcast

We finally pinpointed the beginning of the "curmudgeonly Alan Arkin" era. This week, the "Second Run" crew and special guest Drew Taylor tackled 1991's action-superhero movie "The Rocketeer" starring Billy Campbell, Jennifer Connelly, Alan Arkin, and Timothy Dalton. Topics discussed include depictions of Howard Hughes in cinema, the movie's remaining footprint (or in one case "jetpack blast print") on current Disney properties, and an epic third act that rivals anything in "Indiana Jones" or "James Bond"

Who knew the Minnesota beauty pageant circuit could be so deadly? This week, the "Second Run" squad set their sights on the very dark 1999 mockumentary "Drop Dead Gorgeous," which boasts an all-star cast that includes Kirstie Alley, Ellen Barkin, Denise Richards, Alison Janney, Kirsten Dunst, and ... wait for it ... Amy Adams. Topics discussed include how amazing Alison Janney is (seriously, it's worth watching just to see her steal the movie), the insulting/condescending nature of small-town comedy, and all of the racist jokes that just wouldn't fly in 2017.

Renny Harlin's "Cliffhanger" has something for everyone: Sylvester Stallone, mountain climbing, Italy pretending to be the Rocky Mountains, stoner base jumpers, an iconic cold-open death scene, horses, "wolves," terrible accents, avalanches, and blood ... so much blood. This week, "Second Run" took a second look at the 1993 action-thriller "Cliffhanger" and decided that the title is far more literal than it is descriptive of the movie's suspenseful nature -- mostly because it's not suspenseful at all. But thrilling? Oh yes, it is thrilling! Topics discussed include confusingly elaborate (but exciting!) fight choreography, predictable dialogue, avuncular character deaths, and the woefully miscast John Lithgow.

Ah, "Gremlins 2: The New Batch" ... How do we love thee, let us count the ways: 1. Rambo Gizmo, 2. John Glover's Daniel Clamp, and 3. Something we probably missed amidst all your chaos and nonsensical plot points. Yes, this week, the CAN'T WAIT! crew and special guest Drew Taylor tackle Joe Dante's (classic?) 1990 NYC romp, from its over-the-top-gory gremlin deaths and DNA splicing to its mysteriously contrived storyline and vanishing characters (RIP, Mr. Wing). Other topics discussed include how freaking scary the gremlins actually are, our general distaste for the movie's lead characters (if you can call them that), and all the behind-the-scenes action that led to "Gremlins 2" becoming one Hollywood's most exuberant flops.

With the amount of running 52-year-old Warren Beatty had to do in "Dick Tracy," Madonna wasn't the only one breathless. If the dad joke didn't clue you in already, the "Can't Wait!" crew (with special guest Drew Taylor) took a long, hard look at 1990 technicolor detective classic "Dick Tracy," with special emphasis on the movie's proclivity for disguising respected, well-known actors in bizarrely literal makeup. Other topics discussed include Beatty's little-seen 2008 Dick Tracy TCM special, the movie's very solid twist, and the surprising amount of detail and thought that went into "Dick Tracy's" production and art design. Oh yeah, and the fact that it's a Disney movie.

Are we being manipulated by an alien race profiteering from our consumerist ways? Are hideous humanoid creatures walking (and copulating) among us undetected? Will an audience believe that Roddy Piper and Keith David would beat each other to bloody pulp in a random alley for 10 minutes over a pair of sunglasses? The answer to all these questions is "YES," according to John Carpenter's 1988 conspiracy theory classic "They Live." In addition to the previously mentioned questions, the "CAN'T WAIT!" crew and special guest Drew Taylor uncover the truth behind one of the world's most unanswered questions: Can wrestling superstar Rowdy Roddy Piper act? (The answer: Kind of!) Other "They Live" topics include: the importance of a good fight choreographer, the mysteriously clean garbage of downtown Los Angeles, and unwanted alien copulation.

And ... we're back! Sorry for that short, impromptu break, but now we've returned to discuss the seemingly schizophrenically plotted high school tale "Can't Hardly Wait," starring Ethan Embry, Jennifer Love Hewitt, and every other "twentysomething who can play teen" Hollywood had to offer in 1998. Things get off to a bumpy when the CAN'T WAIT! crew can't decide whose movie this actually is (or should be) or why only five characters are given names while the rest of the cast are called things like "Girl Whose Party It Is" and "Real Homeboy." Ugh. Other topics discussed include: a cast of hundreds, Pop Tart flavors, high schoolers with borderline personality disorder, and cameos vs. walk-ons vs. drop-ins.

Kevin Costner. Whitney Houston. The best-selling soundtrack of all time. What do these three things have in common? Yes, this week on CAN'T WAIT! we discuss 1992's love song to workplace romance, "The Bodyguard," a movie overshadowed by its insanely popular soundtrack and the sleepy stoicism of Kevin Costner's performance. Among the topics discussed: our penchant for watching movies scored by Alan Silvestri, music videos made from clips of movies featuring music videos, singers/actors, and the singular importance of orange juice.

A man, driven by revenge, kidnaps the woman who wronged him. Suffering from amnesia, the woman is tricked into thinking she is his wife and forced to clean, cook, and raise his four children ... until she starts to suspect that things are not as they seem. Sound like a great '90s thriller? Well, it's not. It's the plot of "Overboard," Garry Marshall's 1987 comedy starring Goldie Hawn ("Snatched"), Kurt Russell ("Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2"), Edward Hermann ("Gilmore Girls"), and Katherine Helmond ("Who's the Boss?"). Hilarious! This week, Team CAN'T WAIT! discusses the '80s exploration of false imprisonment, fraud, and the high jinks that ensue when you trick a mind-wiped heiress into thinking she's poor, married to you, and the mother of your four horrible children. Topics discussed include: the legal consequences (or lack thereof) of the basic plot points of "Overboard," the majesty (and secrets) of Tillamook County (this is not a sponsored podcast!), successful nepotism, the magic of watching Goldie Hawn, and what it sounds like when a soundtrack is composed on a Casio keyboard (sorry, Alan Silvestri). It's quite a ride.

Let's get this out of the way: "Super Mario Bros." is a nonsensical, ugly, terribly written, horribly acted mess of a movie. Yet, we endured all 104 minutes of it because a job's a job and the movie-watching public needs to be warned. Yes, the CAN'T WAIT! crew plunged into to the deep end of the 1993 comedy/sci-fi/fantasy "movie" thanks to a decidedly misled whim of one Mr. Tony Maccio, who seems to think that nostalgia > competent filmmaking. While he is objectively wrong, he sticks to his guns. Questions asked in this week's episode include: "What the hell is even going on?" "Why did you make us watch this?" and "How do we create a device that removes this movie from our brains?" We also talk about the movie's redeeming quality. Yes, that's "quality" not "qualities." It only has one, and even that's up for debate.

Witches (played by box office royalty Sandra Bullock and Nicole Kidman), romance, a family curse, and sisters with an immutable bond -- on the outside, that's everything one would need to cast a spell of cinematica perfectum. Unfortunately, that did not happen. Yes, the CAN'T WAIT! crew grabbed their broomsticks (and tequila) and dove headlong into the 1998 romantic comedy / drama / thriller / supernatural drama / romance / [insert sixth genre here] "Practical Magic," a movie that struggles for an hour and forty-five minutes to figure out exactly what it is, then leaves you wondering what, exactly, you just watched. But hey, the movie isn't without its redeeming qualities -- they're just few and far between. Topics discussed include Bullock and Kidman unconvincingly playing teenagers, deadly curses with more patience than Mahatma Gandhi, Camilla Belle's eyebrows, and a town where it's OK for kids to yell profanity at other kids, as long as those kids are witches.

"Deep Blue Sea" has everything: shape-changing genius sharks, maddeningly convoluted plot points, comic relief from LL Cool J, water-related puns, and more shockingly brutal deaths than all six seasons of "Game of Thrones" combined. OK, that last one's a stretch, but you get the point. This week, the CAN'T WAIT! crew dives into Renny Harlin's 1999 aquatic misstep classic, which stars a bunch of people whose careers were likely stifled by the movie's severe lack of box office success. (Except for Samuel L. Jackson, whose death in the movie made him a star all over again.) Topics discussed include cartoon-like CG sharks, the egregious misappropriation of science, favorite death scenes, and uncovering the real hero of the movie (spoiler alert: it's not the bird).

What's left to say about one of the biggest bombs in box office history? Plenty, when that bomb is Disney's 2012 sci-fi action epic "John Carter." This week's pick comes courtesy of special guest Drew Taylor, who comes armed with plenty of facts and factoids to support his love for the adaptation of Edgar Rice Burroughs's literary classic. For better or worse, the CAN'T WAIT! crew discusses the merits of "John Carter," from its impressive visuals to its jam-packed plotting. Other topics of discussion include questionable casting choices, lovable toad dogs, and the very minor role real science plays in the movie.

"We are those 'The Craft'-loving weirdos, mister." Well, half of us are, the other half want to invoke Manon and get back the hour and 40 minutes spent watching the movie. Tim picked the (apparently divisive) '90s teen witch thriller, which stars perhaps the most '90s cast ever assembled: Robin Tunney, Neve Campbell, Fairuza Balk, Rachel True, and Skeet Ulrich. Topics discussed include obvious wigs, Catholic schools with no rules, terrible special effects, terrible parents, Breckin Meyer's stellar douche acting, and the hell-on-Earth that is Los Angeles. (Seriously, there are a lot of trash fires and snake-loving ne'er-do-wells in this movie's version of L.A.)

"Where we're going, we don't need scientific accuracy," is a line someone should have uttered in the subject of this week's podcast, 1994's "Timecop," a movie that explains time travel by way of Jean-Claude Van Damme's mullet and windowless cars that resemble fast-moving garbage. Yes, we're tackling Tony's pick, and by "tackling" we mean "beating to a bloody pulp." Among the topics discussed are: the JCVD school of acting, jokes that aren't jokes, unsettling nudity, high kicks & high splits, and how "Timecop" -- despite all its shortcomings -- somehow managed to predict a Trump presidency. (Why isn't that last point making headlines?! Oh, right. Because this movie is terrible.)