The Family First Podcast

For many years, our family went to the lake house of our close friends. We always did a lot of water skiing there. My parents were part of a water ski show when they were young and I inherited their love for the sport. When it was my turn to ski, I always wanted Susan to go.

The topic we will be discussing today is increasingly becoming more of an issue in relationships and in marriages – a lot of it has to do with technology and this is what it is: comparison. If you feel like the marriage grass is greener on the other side when you look at other couples, it could be that you’re not watering your own lawn enough and spending too much time looking at theirs.

Think back to when you first started to pursue your spouse. It required commitment, hard work, and imagination. If winning them over required that back then, why does it surprise us when neglect hurts our relationship after we walk down the aisle? They wouldn’t have married you if you took them for granted. Why risk everything now?

Every husband and wife want to feel connected with one another…but sometimes busyness, the daily grind, stress and strain can get in the way and cause a feeling of NOT being connected…and when that happens, “marriage drift” sometimes occurs and you drift farther and farther apart without even knowing it. The key to staying connected is to be intentional. 6 things you can be intentional about… If your marriage is good, these six things can help you grow closer. If your marriage is so-so or even worse, they could help you give it a push in the right direction towards bonding time with your spouse. It’s important to stay connected as a couple and Susan and have learned these 6 things in our 27 years of marriage…

As parents, we always wonder if we’re doing this thing, called parenting, right…doing everything we should. And what do you do when your child starts exhibiting some bad habits and behaviors at a very young age? Lying, cheating, showing disrespect… Dealing with those bad habits can take thought and energy that can wear parents out. However, if left unchecked, they can grow into major problems down the line. It is important to engage the problem now in order to save them and us from more intense pain in the future. Here are some bad kid behavior issues that you need to break early. It’s important to break bad behaviors early so Susan and I will be discussing 5 bad behaviors your kids must conquer on today’s show:

Today's topic is one that affects really every marriage if you've been married for any length of time.  It's about loneliness. As humans, we are not meant to be isolated. We all crave deep and lasting connections with other people. But we know it’s possible to feel alone in the middle of a crowd, and it’s possible to sleep in the same bed with someone for years and still feel lonely. Many of us never expect to be lonely in marriage, hoping that our spouse will be the lifelong companion who saves us from loneliness.

So, let’s say that you’ve been wronged…wronged by your spouse, child, close friend or coworker. You thought you could count on them. You thought you could trust them. They let you down. It hurts. The pain runs deep inside you. What makes things worse, you didn’t deserve it. You didn’t deserve the deed. It wasn’t your fault. Every day the painful video plays inside your head. You cannot erase it from your mental hard drive. Bitterness, resentment, and anger all start to flood your emotions.

On today’s podcast, Susan and I are going to be talking about a topic that affects each and every one of us. Many couples we’ve talked to through the years, especially newlyweds, assume that arguing in marriage is bad, counterproductive, and to be avoided at all costs. In reality, conflict is unavoidable, and how a couple fights during their arguments is actually more important than if a couple fights. We want to discuss some "sucker punches" you must stop throwing when fighting with your spouse. And, don't hit below the belt.

Over the years, Susan and I have learned that all 5 of our children , now all in their 20s, all need one thing and that’s encouragement. We have good intentions and try to help; and, as parents, we may think we’re encouraging our children, but it can actually feel like criticism to them. Sometimes their every desire is to please us and we, in turn, crush their spirit. Susan and I both have made these mistakes so we want to share those with you. As you try to help your kids be their best, be sure you’re not actually implementing one of these 4 ways of discouraging your kids.

It’s so easy to push your spouse away without even realizing it. On several occasions, I’ve pushed Susan away and created a distance between us with my critical and condescending words. And Susan would tell you that she’s pushed me away by texting and posting when I wanted her attention. So we hope that by listening to these 6 ways to push your spouse away on today's podcast, you’ll actually learn how to pull your spouse toward you---not push away.

How well do you really know your spouse? I don’t mean the color of their hair and eyes, or where they were born and went to school. That’s their biography, their exterior. But what about their inner life: thoughts and feelings, hopes and fears? Do you know them in a way that builds the relationship? If you know your spouse well, you will be able to love them well. So it's important to be a student of your spouse, to study them and really know who they are! Today, Susan and I are going to go through some questions that will help you with the must-knows for your spouse.

Over the years, we have worked with teens and adult children of divorce who were raised in two homes. Many times, they literally wanted to shout, “STOP PUTTING ME IN THE MIDDLE!!!” Unfortunately, most kids never have the courage to speak up and share their voice on these matters. - Tammy Daughtry A few months ago, we posted a blog on iMOM and had an outpouring of comments and responses in regards to children of divorced parents. We wanted to dig a little deeper into the issue and have asked the writer of that blog, Tammy Daughtry, to join us today. Susan, Tammy and I will discuss 4 things kids of divorce wish they could say to their parents!

Did you know that your marriage may be better than you think? Too many couples don’t appreciate the good marriage they have because they are too focused on the perfect marriage they want. Susan and I have experienced this in our own marriage and have to continually remind ourselves of the good, and great, we have together. Two things are typically true in marriages: 1) Those other “great” marriages are rarely as good as they look from the outside. 2) Your own marriage is not always as bad as you may think from the inside. On today's podcast, Susan and I will address 8 reasons why your marriage may be better than you think.

Expectations. They are a very important part of marriage and we all have them, don't we? Husbands and wives should be able to expect certain things from one another; there are nonnegotiable marriage expectations that should be the same for all spouses. These are much deeper than leaving your socks on the floor. These are foundational expectations such as being a trustworthy spouse that every marriage needs. On today's podcast, Susan and I will address 3 things your spouse should expect from you.

When I wrote about the 7 things that husbands and wives should stop doing in their relationship awhile back, some spirited comments and conversations resulted. On today's podcast, Susan and I want to address 6 things that you should stop doing in public---things that can harm your spouse and hurt your marriage.