Turning This Car Around

The dads take a break from their usual sterling parenting advice (cough) to talk about things they screwed up. Getting your kids to take shots successfully should be like Scott Pilgrim, but there are no coins for winning. John has recently had to cut back on his son's screen time (good thing, too, because screens are DESTROYING OUR KIDS BRAINS). Gone are the days when you can just throw kids out the door a la Calvin and Hobbes. It's become a challenge to make sure your kids aren't overprotected. Jon tells of his time walking the lovely neighborhoods of Salford in the UK. Lex likens it to his experience in the neighborhood where the Groundlings school is. Jon strongly advises you against watching Little Children, the mere mention of which is kind of a downer and ruins the whole podcast. Not the episode, the entire podcast. Don't make the mistake John and Jon made. Don't help you kids with their homework. Although, it may or may not be an option if you actually want it to get done. Follow us: @ttcashow. Lex Friedman can be found @lexfri, John Moltz can be found @Moltz and Jon Armstrong is @blurb.

Other people's kids. The worst, right? It's not related to the topic, but John found his old mix tapes and expresses his fondness for Jim Carroll. Both Lex and Jon have the problem of their kids assimilating body issues. Lex seems to think he's on a different podcast. We finish with a discussion on swearing, which is all caused by other people's kids, of course, and the 4th grade urban myth that Justin Bieber has really eaten his own poop. Sponsor: Our thanks to Audible for sponsoring this episode. Go to Audible to download a free book today. John recommends The Martian, a terrific science fiction book about an astronaut strander on Mars. His wife recommends Does This Clutter Make My Butt Look Fat?, a book about helping declutter your house and your life. Follow us: @ttcashow. Lex Friedman can be found @lexfri, John Moltz can be found @Moltz and Jon Armstrong is @blurb.

On this episode, the dads talk about becoming a dad. Ch-ch-ch-changes! That's a David Bowie song, right? Once again the whole free-range kids thing comes up and it comes up early. Speaking of changes, since becoming a father, John cries while watching Finding Nemo. Jon and Lex recommend The Expectant Father. The dads recommend wills and starting to save for college five years before you were born. Not the kid, you. Lex laments no longer being able to binge-watch shows like House of Cards. Still, we can binge-watch shows like Clone Wars and Adventure Time. All the dads recommend therapy. Like that wasn't obvious. Sponsor: Our thanks to DayOne for sponsoring this episode. No baloney, DayOne is the best journaling app for iOS and the Mac. Do yourself and your family a favor and go to the DayOne site to learn more and just get it. Follow us: @ttcashow. Lex Friedman can be found @lexfri, John Moltz can be found @Moltz and Jon Armstrong is @blurb.

Happy birthday! There are good birthday experiences and bad ones. And horrible ones. Lex is not a big fan of bouncy places like BounceU but Jon thinks Kangaroo Zoo isn't so bad and John doesn't mind Pump It Up. But as far as really good experiences, Jon is a fan of The wAirhouse and John likes The Little Gym for smaller kids. The benefit of the Little Gym is they have instructors, not sullen teen employees. Video game places like Odyssey are kind of a sensory overload experience. Lex has been to a dance party place and that's the nicest thing he can say about that. If you have several kids, Lex says it's just more cost effective to buy your own Elmo costume. You weren't using that dignity anyway. Here's Lex in full Elmo. Jon bought his daughter a Playmobil veterinary clinic because Playmobil is awesome. The dads argue over thank-you note etiquette and close with a Nixon reference. As you do when talking about kids birthday parties. Sponsor: Our thanks to the totally awesome DayOne for sponsoring this episode. DayOne is the journaling app for iOS and the Mac. Go to the DayOne site to learn more. Follow us: @ttcashow. Lex Friedman can be found @lexfri, John Moltz can be found @Moltz and Jon Armstrong is @blurb.

Let's talk about time management. Can someone help us with this? Because we need it. John tries to sing a Jim Croce favorite but can't. But time songs are a thing and many of them can make you cry is what you should know. The dads support schools efforts to keep kids with peanut allergies alive, even if it makes making meals a pain in the butt. Yes, the Moltz's still subscribe to their local dead-tree newspaper. This has nothing to do with time management but the mashed potatoes thing is a Close Encounters of the Third Kind reference, if you haven't seen it. The dads do it judiciously but NEVER LEAVE YOUR KIDS IN THE CAR WHAT KIND OF LOUSY PARENT ARE YOU? Sponsor: Our thanks to DayOne, a terrific journaling app for iOS and the Mac for sponsoring this episode. DayOne now has a new feature: publishing. Get. It. Follow us: @ttcashow. Lex Friedman can be found @lexfri, John Moltz can be found @Moltz and Jon Armstrong is @blurb.

Let's talk about education. Getting to school, staying in school, homework, tests and the PTA. Jon's use of the term "redshirt" is questioned, particularly since it doesn't match up with John's known definition of the term. Now you know why John's kid probably won't be participating in any organized sports. Here are some pros and cons of standardized testing but just know that the dads are not fans of them. We'll also talk about where to meet hot moms (may also work for hot dads). Sponsor: Our thanks to DayOne for sponsoring this episode. DayOne is *the* app you want for journaling your life, your kids lives and just plain old remembering things that happen. DayOne now has a new feature: publishing. Check it out and then go get DayOne. Or just go get it. Follow us: @ttcashow. Lex Friedman can be found @lexfri, John Moltz can be found @Moltz and Jon Armstrong is @blurb.

#10: Staying in School

Hey, kids! It's screen time! Experts say you shouldn't let your kids watch television until they're two. And then they should only watch test patterns for a year. As far as shows for little kids shows go, PBS's Curious George is pretty good. WonderPets, not so much. In the video game realm, the Lego series is good. And Jon should know, he's been playing console games since the Magnavox Odyssey. In the realm of crack games designed to keep you buying more and more, Jon's kids play Disney Infinity and John's plays Skylanders. Lex's kids play with iPads and you should just click that link and buy a few. Unless you want to get your kids the Retina model and then you should click this link. Lex also recommends Truck Tunes for educational listening on trucks. Sponsor: Once again, our thanks to DayOne for sponsoring this episode. DayOne makes recording daily events, memories, data and pictures a joy. Get it here. Follow us: @ttcashow. Lex Friedman can be found @lexfri, John Moltz can be found @Moltz and Jon Armstrong is @blurb.

#9: Ron is the 7th Cylon

#8: Rad hair

This week we talk about getting ready in the morning. There's dressing, there's brushing teeth, there's hair... oh, god, so much hair. John recommends California baby hair detangler. Lex used a Barbie head to practice hair do's and hair don'ts. Speaking of hair, here's the hair that John had to deal with up until last summer. Be forewarned, this image may disturb more sensitive listeners. We won't be providing a link for Tinker Bell cosplay pictures which, uh, somehow just came up organically. We're pretty sure you can find those all on your own. But behold the horror of... tween Dora. They're not quite as cool as light-up Boba Fett sneakers, but here are some light-up Jango Fett sneakers. Sponsor: Once again, our thanks to DayOne for sponsoring this episode. DayOne is the place to record your daily events, feelings, pictures and more. Get it. Follow us: @ttcashow. Lex Friedman can be found @lexfri, John Moltz can be found @Moltz and Jon Armstrong is @blurb.

#7: Monsters Do Not Like Poodle Farts

This week we talk about getting away from your damn kids because they're driving you crazy! Be forewarned: many states require that you have some kind of child care, though. (Dogs apparently don't count? Lame.) John and his wife used Annie's Nannies in Seattle to find their nanny and she was awesome. And Breedlove is a company that will do the tax calculations for employing a nanny or babysitter for you. John and his wife used them when employing their nanny and John was later confirmed to the U.S. Supreme Court without a problem. And he's not even a lawyer! Is empty nest syndrome not really a thing? Could be. How much should you pay a babysitter? No one knows. Sponsor: Our thanks to DayOne for sponsoring this episode. DayOne makes journaling your life easy and thorough. Get it. Follow us: @ttcashow. Lex Friedman can be found @lexfri, John Moltz can be found @Moltz and Jon Armstrong is @blurb.

In this episode we talk about travel. Sometimes you have to take your kid on the plane or on a long car trip, because... you hate yourself? Not really sure why. The FAA has a helpful site about child safety when flying, but in the end the most important thing to have with you is an iPad. When looking for music to listen to in the car, you could do worse than Laurie Berkner but not much better than They Might Be Giants. Also, just consider a classic form of entertainment like MadLibs. Because inserting "fart" and "poop" into sentences never goes out of style. Sponsor: Our thanks to DayOne for sponsoring this episode. DayOne is the journaling app for iOS and the Mac. You want to record your daily life? Then you want DayOne.

#6: Seat Backs and Tray Tables