Life Of Caesar

In 39 CE, Caligula walked into the Senate and tore them all a new one. The gloves came off. The nice guy act was over. He criticized them for enabling Sejanus' persecution of his family and for criticizing Tiberius when in fact they urged him on. Then he reinstated majestas. The Senate responded by thanking him and singing his praises.

My inaugural guest is Dr Nathan Brooks PhD from CQUniversity. He's a forensic psychologist with a background in researching psychopaths. He (and a couple of colleagues) have a new book that came out just after mine, called "Corporate Psychopaths". It's an academic book looking at many of the same issues as mine. It was great to speak to him last week and find that we agreed on everything, from the size and importance of the problem, to the causes and the cures.

From his sickbed he named his favorite sister, Drusilla, to inherit the imperial “property and the throne”. But when he recovered, he decided to rid himself of some enemies, real or imagined, including Gemellus, Macro and Silanus, his former father-in-law.

From his sickbed he named his favorite sister, Drusilla, to inherit the imperial “property and the throne”. But when he recovered, he decided to rid himself of some enemies, real or imagined, including Gemellus, Macro and Silanus, his former father-in-law.

Caligula's absolute favourite thing in the world, apart from spending money, is screwing. And seriously, who can blame him. It's good to be the king. And, like Ray, he was happy to be a power bottom. He liked horse racing, and was fond of poisoning other team's horses and riders. He liked actors, and was fond of beating people up who interrupted performances in the theatre. I wish we could do that to people who write moronic iTunes reviews. And then, a few months after he became Emperor, Caligula fell seriously ill. It would be the turning point of his reign.

The Nemi ships were two pleasure barges, one larger than the other, built under Caligula at Lake Nemi. Although there were several attempts to recover them from the 15th century onwards, it wasn't until 1929 that Mussolini ordered the whole of Lake Nemi would be drained and they were recovered and housed in a museum. And then the Americans decided to drop bombs on them, and they were destroyed, lost forever.

According to Suetonius, Caligula was quite proud of his "adiatrepsia" - shamelessness. He lived in habitual incest with all his sisters and was especially fond of Drusilla. He made her divorce her first husband and marry his friend and lover Marcus Aemilius Lepidus. In 37 he interrupted the wedding of Livia Orestilla so he could marry her himself - and then kicked her to the curb 24 hours later. Then he made Lollia Paulina divorce her husband and marry him - but he tired of her in six months. Then he married Caesonia, "a woman of reckless extravagance and wantonness". Six months into his rule, Caligula fell seriously ill.  While he was sick in bed, Macro and Silanus apparently prepared for the worst. They started the wheels in motion for Gemellus to be declared the successor.

How does a 24 year old kid, who's never even been on a battlefield, let alone lead an army to victory, get declared "imperator"? How would you handle it if you were granted ius arbitriumque omnium rerum (‘power and authority over all things’) and declared princeps legibus solutus (a princeps not bound by the laws)? Would you be able to handle it? We know we wouldn't. Who would we have killed? Find out on this episode.

One of the other first things Caligula did when he took power was to release Herod Agrippa from jail - King Herod from the New Testament. The grandson of Herod the Great. Which all gives me an excuse to talk about The Maccabean Revolt and a short history on Judaean politics from 169 BCE to Caligula. 

By all accounts, Caligula was extremely popular with the people, as his father, Germanicus, had been. Suetonius reports that Caligula was “the emperor most earnestly desired”. When he entered Rome, the celebrations are said to have gone on for almost three months, and more than 160,000 animals were sacrificed—and eaten. 

We all think we know something of the story of Caligula. We have a picture of him as a destructive monster, an insane sadist. But truth is rarely that simple. Let's take a look at the sources and their individual biases. And let's keep in mind that Caligula was Rome's first true emperor. 

We continue and finish our live commentary on the 1979 epic film, CALIGULA. Picking up where we left off last week, Caligula is fisting the married couple and he doesn't even remove his ring. A dark and stormy night leads to night terrors, a super hot threesome between Caligula, his sister and Helen Mirren, a gratuitous but welcome sultry Italian lesbian scene, spinning plates, a Helen Mirren does Madonna dance scene, some torture, a horse in a bed, death, crazy, an orgy on a fake ship, and we close with brains being bashed out on the stairs. It's one helluva film.   

We continue our live commentary on the 1979 epic film, CALIGULA. Picking up where we left off last week, still in Tiberius’ sex palace on Capri, with a lady holding a writhing legless lizard that she is apparently about to place inside her woo-hoo. Around the 18 minute mark of the film. This episode sees the death of Tiberius, the arrest of Macro, a bukake scene, Helen Mirren dancing and doing it doggy style, a possibly historically-inaccurate giant head mower, and Caligula providing a young couple with a wedding present to remember.

To kick off our Caligula series, we are doing a commentary on the 1979 epic film, CALIGULA. Written by Gore Vidal, directed by Tinto Brass, produced by Bob Guccione, starring Malcolm McDowell, Hellen Mirren, Peter O’Toole, John Gielgud, Teresa Ann Savoy, fucking, sucking, anal fisting, disembowelling, beheading, and more dicks and pussies than you can count. It’s truly a masterpiece that you need to give a second chance.

In March 37 CE, aged seventy-seven years, four months, and nine days, of which time he had been emperor twenty-two years, seven months, and seven days, Tiberius Caesar Divi Augusti filius Augustus fell ill and died. OR DID HE?