Steve & Keith Suck at Football

In this lively rendition, the World Cup gets the medieval treatment, a recent trip to Nats park reveals which parts of the game that had nothing to do with winning or losing were the most appealing, and a jingle reemerges to launch a back-and-forth about how a sport shouldn’t try to control the reality around itself, like football does by invading every corner of your life, or in DC and the Nats trying to build a resplendent neighborhood around its stadium in time for the All-Star game and falling well short. I smell the putrid scent of football’s dirty mitts in this disgrace–repugnant!

Well-oiled and ready for use, this pod peels out in a furious bolt, careening toward auditory fame in a blaze of glory. First, this episode features an article by an art critic that tries to wade into the sport-as-art concept but blows the analysis. Soccer “injuries” are a huge embarrassment to the sport, as well as to their recent adopters, basketball, and baseball players should no longer feel the sting of being heckled as the weakest players in sport. Finally, baseball isn’t just a game, it’s an issuance to a community. Take that Nats Park! Aaaaaaand…suck it football!

You won’t want to miss this week’s self-improvement tips for how good habits helps push out the jive and bring in the love. Also this week, an old jingle makes a comeback to highlight how baseball promotes creation and football promotes destruction, and then it all wraps up with everyone’s favorite dickery–this time it’s about how baseball includes in-the-moment crowd encouragement to the players who make great art. Of course, art means nothing unless football is sucking it!

After a wedding in the S&K Family, the boys are back to shout about sports! The episode beings with an interview about the aforementioned wedding, and eases into a coin-decided sequence facetiously praising football for being ridiculous, and ending with a rant about how baseball rule changes still feel like a football solution. Here’s a solution for football–sucking it!

This episode has some Flavor! Flav drops in briefly to start off the program. Then, it’s a rant about freakish players making ugly plays and earning praise. Later, we learn how the chaos that follows a fight in sports shows the truth about team sports. And then there’s plenty of dickery left to talk about speed and flow and how replay sucks! Out best example–football!!

It may not seem like it, but we know baseball isn’t perfect–heh–so this week we suggest ways to “update” it aesthetically if we could introduce an instant patch. The NFL Draft continues to bloat, giving rise to much rant material. And, coin flips determine the career of this year’s #1 draft pick as well as provide a “storyline” basis for our two hosts to ribbit like NFL announcers. Hippity Hop Go #$%^ Yourself football!

It’s our 150th episode and we’re just as surprised as you are, so we unleashed a string of surprises on this episode. A new segment overture and an unannounced jingle come your way, as well as a surprise at the end you’ll have to listen to get. Unsurprisingly, our praise of baseball continues, and football–you know…we say, “suck it!”

What makes the guys mellow about the sports scene? Is it one’s approaching mid-life concerns such as weddings, families, etc.? Steve takes on a new persona to argue why it’s true and right to draw conclusions about the baseball season in April and Keith revisits the ongoing scourge of Nats Park section guards disrupting one’s ability to get comfortable and watch baseball. You can’t disrupt the fact that football sucks!!

We have a regular season to talk about! This calls for intellectually parsing George Will’s assertion that baseball will ‘resume’ its position as the National Pastime, a thrilling jingle cameo, and a rollicking open-valve turbo firing of the Steve and Keith Machine! Wow does football suck!

Baseball fans can get a tune-up from this week’s episode just in time for the beginning of the season. The Steve and Keith machine transforms inane Spring Training commentary into a global view of the game, while a rant focuses on how fans can be more involved–not by wearing more of their team’s color but by actually cheering! And we throw in a segment assaulting football’s circusesque character! Circusesque? That sounds like dickery! And another noise: a sucking sound…of football!!!

In this week’s rapid-fire episode, listeners learn how March Madness promotes poor basketball, how rule changes relate to behavioral, and ultimately value, changes in sports, and what’s so bothersome about the new minor league baseball rule about starting a runner on second in the 10th inning. Listeners won’t learn about one thing they already know so well–football sucks!

As inevitable as the tides, the podcast is back! This season, the recrimination continues to crash over football, but the boys elevate baseball, like a joyful surfer, in new ways and with a new format! Our theme and jingles give way to segment overtures. This week, the pitch clock is thoroughly lacerated and a more positive encouragement for playing baseball (at a palatable pace) is introduced. The following needs no introduction: suck it football!

Exciting Super Bowl Season-Ending Double Episode! All jingles played!

Football’s “aesthetic” is mutable and unsatisfying because a team can decide to sit on its heels, “protecting” the lead, but inviting its inevitable demise. A full expression of football’s aesthetic–regardless of state-of-the-art safety equipment–results in broken bones and broken brains. Baseball’s aesthetic is stable, and craftily contains the game’s action, whether hyper or docile, which is much to the observer’s satisfaction. It contains its violence to inanimate objects: ball to bat, ball to glove, foot to base. Take that and suck it football!

Football has a celebrated one-game format for playoff advancement, but that means  gameplay doesn’t deliver a story like a seven-game series in baseball or hockey might. So, viewers are left to accept the story told about the game entirely outside of the game, and then burst with reaction relative to that story once the action begins. Fans get out of football only what they’re primed to expect–making the unexpected such an outsized feature of the experience. Baseball is enjoyable to a neutral observer, and withstands biased commentating. Happy New Year! This year, football still sucks!