Alcohol Mastery Podcast

(0.20) Everyone feels remorse sometimes (0.41) My remorse (1.21) Why I quit (1.38) Stupid trip (3.04) You won’t regret quitting This is the fifth question of the Johns Hopkins 20 questions: “Are you an alcoholic?” …the question asks: have you ever felt remorse after drinking? Remorse After Drinking and Fear of Reputation Most drinkers feel remorse. There’s the type of remorse for saying something stupid or doing something stupid. Then there’s the remorse for drinking too much, usually accompanied by headaches and your insides feeling like they’ve been put through a spin cycle on an ancient wonky washing machine. The worst type of post-drinking-remorse is linked to a fear about the loss of our reputations. You wake up in the morning and think “Oh shit, I hope that was just a nightmare”! Sometimes it’s the remembering If your hangover is very bad, you might not be thinking too much about what’s gone down the night before. You’re far too busy feeling sorry for yourself and saying ‘Never again’. As the worst of the hangover feelings fades into the past, you begin to remember some of the highlights from the night before, some of the things you’ve done or said. It’s that remembering that triggers your stomach to sink, also known as remorse. If you’ve really pushed the boat out, gone overboard, and drowned yourself in your poison of choice, you might not be able to remember very much at all. You experience a whole different level of remorse. Should you be sorry for something you’ve done? … Something you’ve said?... You’re afraid, nervous to even get out of bed, everyone knows that sheepish “Good morning” to your partner who’s banging around in the kitchen. How many times are you going to drink so much that you actually crash your brain, like it’s some cheap Dell PC. Time to Quit? After too many of these remorseful days, I gave in, I quit. It’s not the only reason I quit, there are hundreds of those, but it has to be up there with the best of them. Here’s a quote from the American writer Richard Bach, author of the excellent Jonathan Livingstone Seagull: “Some choices we live not only once but a thousand times over, remembering them for the rest of our lives.” I have many shuddering memories from my days of drinking; some of them I think about panic… have I still got that kind of stupidity in me? Many of them will stay with me for the rest of my life. One of my more moronic memories will haunt my nightmares, both sleeping and awake. When I think about it, I always see my son. Firstly because he’s around the same age as I was, so I hope he’s got more sense. But more sickening is if that dumb-assed stunt had gone wrong, he wouldn’t have been here at all! A few of my mates and I decided, for the fun, to take a trip across the Irish sea to Hollyhead, a port and small seaside town in Wales. I don’t know if they still do the trip, but at the time… about 25 years ago, there was a daily return sailing that departed from Dublin at 9am and arrived in Hollyhead for 12.30pm. You had 3 hours before the return trip. Mostly, day trippers would use the service for cheap electrical goods (tv’s, stereo’s, etc.) and the duty free fags and booze. We were just looking for a day out on the lash. We started drinking as soon as we got on the ferry in Dublin. We went on a pub crawl in Hollyhead and just made it back to the ferry before the doors closed. Once we’d bought our duty free we went out onto the deck. You could buy whatever duty free you wanted on the boat, but were only allowed to land so much once you arrived back in Ireland. So we would buy a few crates of beer just for the crossing. The thing that makes my stomach turn, even now as I’m writing this, was acting like a complete suicidal gobshite and standing on the railing with my arms out like a tightrope walker. One jolt and I’d have been over the side, and in my condition that would have been that. Not long after that,

(0.17) New on the site (0.31) Questions this week (0.53) Next week on the site (1.04) Ups and downs (1.43) Tip of the week Thursday Tally 5 Transcript This is Alcohol Mastery; my name is Kevin OHara, and welcome to the Thursday Tally 5. New on t...

(0.22) Needs retweaking (0.51) A family matter (1.29) Only the poor? (2.19) My Story Tweaking The Question These questions were written in the 1930’s so I think the question: “Is drinking making your home life unhappy” is a bit tame by today’s standards. Some of the alternative and more pertinent questions are: Is your family being neglected because of your drinking? Are there altercations in your home caused by your drinking? Does your family feel safer when you’re not around? Does your family make excuses for your drinking? Are you on your own because of your drinking? Is Drinking Making Your Home Life Unhappy? It’s All About the Children "In 2002, almost 5 million adults were alcohol-dependent or alcohol-abusing and had at least one child younger than age 18 living in their home...More than 60 percent (62 percent) of these alcohol-dependent or alcohol-abusing parents were fathers and 38 percent were mothers. Most (69 percent) were married." NSDUH report 13th February 2004... Alcohol abuse in the home often has the greatest impact on innocent children. Many of them are not yet old enough to understand what’s going on, they don’t get that their parent is abusing a drug, they only see the consequences. Children can miss out on school time and many other fundamental learning experiences because one of their parents is a drunk. They can suffer psychological problems because of instability from drunken parents…they can be anxious about what’s going to happen next, or fearful of doing something wrong, blaming themselves for their parents behaviour… In some cases, the children may have to take on the responsibilities of the parent when that parent is absent (physically or mentally). Although levels of verbal violence may increase, in the form of shouting or insulting behaviour, physical abuse levels aren’t usually affected by alcohol abuse. Either a person has a violent tendency or they don’t. Alcohol does not in general cause an otherwise passive person to become violent. It is also a fallacy that alcoholism is only a problem amongst the poorer parts of our society. The middle-classes also drink too much, have alcohol problems, and problems in the home as a result. In his book “The Sophisticated Alcoholic”, David Allen, a British therapist, says that the middle-class Mr and Mrs Normal don’t really see themselves as having any alcohol related issues… "But they are drinking excessive amounts of alcohol -- well above the recommended limits. They drink in an organised and managed fashion. They're not the ones who crash the car because they were drunk but they do have an alcohol problem." In some homes, there might be money problems and alcohol problems. These families might be doing without proper nutrition, new clothes, light and heat, etc. because the money is being spent on alcohol instead… The Elephant in the Living Room I was never a bad drunk, I was one of those drunks who would laugh if I was with other people and cry when I was on my own. The elephant in my living room was the belief that there was ever going to be a normal way of drinking for me. I was raised in Ireland and England, and was surrounded by a type of alcohol culture that revelled in the getting drunk. I suppose that’s really the point, if the truth be told. Many people truly believe they’re doing it for the taste, the bouquet, the deep velvety richness, or the full bodied voluptuousness of that particular vintage… remember the ‘Emperor’s new clothes”? When drunk, my moods would often get quite argy-bargy. I always came across as the boisterous practical joker who loved laughing at the ludicrous. The loud laughing, thigh slapping, joke telling, and raucous nature went down well with blokes, but not too good with most women. I would often have digs at my partner, that sarcastic humour didn’t really come off as particularly funny to her at all. When I was drinking on my own,

(0.08) Do you lose time (0.40) How you could be affected (1.02) UK survey (1.47) My experiences The first of the “Johns Hopkins 20 questions: Are you an alcoholic” is: Have You Lost Time From Work Because of Your Drinking??   I’m not going to analyse the questions too deeply in this series of posts. I think they’re self-explanatory for the most part. I’ll just give some background info and a few stats, and I’ll also tell you a bit about my own experiences with each question in turn. Is Your Work Suffering? If your work is suffering because of your alcohol problem, you could lose your job or worse. Depending on what you do for a living, the consequences of you being under the influence of alcohol at work could be catastrophic. You or someone else could be injured. You could be killed! In the worst case scenario, your drinking could cause the death of one of your colleagues. “A survey carried out by YouGov for PruHealth found that each day around 200,000 British workers turn up to work hung-over from the night before.” My drink was Guinness. Each pint of Guinness contains 2.3 units of alcohol. The average person breaks down one unit of alcohol per hour. If I drank 10 pints…10 pints x 2.3 units per pint = 23 hours before all the alcohol was gone from my system. Most times, I couldn’t tell you how many pints I’d consumed. Often it could be 20. That’s almost 2 full days and 2 full nights before the alcohol was all gone from my system. I drank almost every day, so many times when I was going into work the next day with a “hangover”, I was still under the influence… Risk Stats By Occupation You are twice as likely to die from an alcohol related disease if you work in a bar or restaurant in the UK, higher than most other professions… Close behind in the statistics are the male dominated manual labour type jobs such as construction, carpentry, flooring and tiling, labourers, seafarers, and butchers, etc. Farmers and those who drive for a living are amongst the men who are least at risk. Another low risk group are managers. If the workplace is female dominated, the risks are also much lower. Some male dominated work places will turn a blind eye to heavy drinking, others will actively encourage it…a meeting at the local bar after work, which can often turn into a session until closing time or beyond. Ask Yourself These Related Questions How many days work have you lost through drinking? How many days have you been late for work because of drinking? How many days have you left work early because of drinking? How many days has your work suffered because of drinking? Have you ever drunk alcohol while at work? Have you ever arrived at work still under the influence from the night before? …and My Days of the Hangover Throughout my drinking/working life, I have lost an unbelievable amount of days work and an uncountable number of hours because I couldn’t do the job as I was hung-over. I’ve worked for myself since I was 16, so I was never going to get sacked. I lost a few clients alright, but for the most part I could excuse myself, telling those customers that I was ill, and that I would be there the next day or the day after that. Much of the time, I’ve had lads working for me, so I could pass the actual work over, while I went off for a sleep or to the pub for a ‘hair of the dog’, telling them to get on with things and I’d see them the next day… I worked in forestry and it’s a pretty dangerous occupation at the best of times, with the chance of becoming deadly when any alcohol is involved. So, I could never risk picking up any saws if I thought I was under the influence. I always put up with lads having hangovers on the job, not really questioning myself about their ‘real’ capacity to do the work. It’s all a big laugh to watch someone suffering the bad effects from the night before. Real macho stuff, you’ve gotta suffer for your enjoyment and all that…Oftentimes,

(0.20) Introduction (0.33) Dr Seliger and the questions (1.14) Self-testing (1.36) The test Are You an Alcoholic? If you are in doubt about whether you have a drinking problem, one of the best places to start is by taking “The Johns Hopkins 20 Que...

Here's Your Party PASS! The Easy Way to Say No to Alcohol... After you've taken the plunge and quit drinking, the first few months can be very difficult for you to say no to alcohol. There's still gonna be plenty of occasions and family events that you just have to attend. Weddings and stag nights, birthdays and Christmas parties, christenings and funerals, and lets not forget the obligatory office parties… You should be able to go to a party and just drink what the hell you want, right? You should be able to say “no” to an alcoholic drink without the whole room going quiet and everyone saying: “What???”... “No Alcohol???”... “You’re a weirdo!!!”...                                        …Right!   I want to show you a few simple strategies that will give you the edge. By using Alcohol Mastery’s PASS method, you’ll never have to worry about not being able to say no to alcohol again!   But first you have to ask yourself… Where’s the pressure coming from? Is the pressure really coming from other people? Or, is it coming from you? Are you afraid it’s you that can’t resist the temptation to have a drink? It’s very important that you think carefully about this! Before you can say “no”, you’ve got to know who you’re saying “no” to…   Other Things to Consider For the most part, drinkers care about their own drinks, not yours. They couldn’t care less about the contents of your glass so long as their glass contains the right stuff. It doesn’t matter if their college drinkers or end-stage alcoholics. Once the party gets going, no one’s going to remember what’s in your glass. If, when, and how you tell people you’ve quit drinking is up to you. It’s your call! You don’t have to explain yourself. Once you quit drinking, you’re under no obligations, moral or otherwise, to go around letting everyone know. It’s your business! Don’t be pushed into a corner by nosey parkers looking for a bit of juicy gossip. People Don’t Like to Hear the Word “NO” Sometimes you’ll come across someone who just can’t take “no” for an answer. They’ll insist that you join in on the ‘fun’… “This is a party” "Ah go on, one little drink never hurt anyone" “What!!! You’re not Drinking???” “Oh, can't you handle your drink?" Use the “no” script (see the attached video) so you have plenty of short, controlled, and authoritative responses for these annoying pests… The PASS Method The PASS method will give you the tools you need to confidently say “no” to any alcohol, anytime, anywhere! “P.A.S.S” is a useful memory device for helping you to remember the important concepts. PASS stands for: P = Prepare A = Act out S = Say no S = Scarper Prepare There’s always going to be another party and why should you miss out on all the fun! However, it’s important that you prepare in advance, before going to places where alcohol’s likely to be served, especially in the early stages of your quit. "By failing to prepare, you are preparing to fail.” Ben Franklin Before You Leave Home Have your ‘no’ script prepared (see the next step) Decide how long you’re going to stay Decide what you’re going to drink Have your ‘call a friend’ phone numbers handy Bring your own drink? Bring a wing-man (if possible) Have an exit strategy You should have all these things decided before you leave home. This is your game plan! You can always stay longer if you’re having a good time, nothing is written in stone. If you have a ‘call a friend’ buddy, let them know that they’re going to be in that role for the evening! Don’t wait until you have a problem, call them out of the blue, and they’ve no idea what you’re going on about. Organize as part of your prep work. A way of being sure of what you’re drinking is to bring your own NA drinks with you, especially to house parties (don’t try taking your own bottles into a night club!). It’s then easy to say…“I’m ok, I got it covered!