The I Simply Am Podcast: Self Awareness | Relationships | Love | Authentic Living

TGIM! Yup, Thank Goodness It's Monday everyone! Who says you have to wait for Friday before having a good day, right? Monday's are a great day to set your intention for the week. This is exactly why The I Simply Am Podcast is released every Monday and why we give you tools you can use every week to live your best life. You're not going to want to miss this weeks podcast so listen to it out right now or view it on iTunes (or continue reading the show notes below). ISA Community Shout Out My ISA Shout Out this week is to Mick Hall. Mick has been instrumental in supporting me in making my dreams come true. Specifically, he's joined my Accountability Team (Listen to Episode 5 if you want to find out what that is). I appreciate how supportive, compassionate, and inspiring he is. Watching him reach out to others, like myself, makes me want to in turn reach out to others. If you'd like to get an appreciation and a shout out join us on Facebook and let me hear from you. I'll be happy to mention your business or site on the show and in the show notes. ISA News This last week the podcast was #13 in iTunes' Top Podcasts for Self-Help. It did wind up bouncing up and down in position so I'm not really sure how the ratings work. While it would be great to be up there in the Top 10, we've only been in production for just over a month and I'm honored and humbled I'm even listed. The Podcast is being heard in almost 2 dozen countries including Korea, China, Turkey, Australia, New Zealand, UK, South Africa, India, and many more…Thank you all for listening no matter what Country you're in! Today's Topic: The One Thing That's Holding You Back in Life (and how to overcome it) I'm going to list 4 different scenarios and I want you to tell me what the pattern is. 1. "I never have any money left over after I pay my bills! When is the economy going to turn around? I'm really tired of those Politicians." 2. "My Manager is a moron and I can't get ahead in this Company. I wish he would just quit already!" 3. "Whenever I hang out with my friend I can't get a word in and it's always about her. Why do I always wind up with friends who are so self-absorbed?" 4. "My wife always makes me so mad. In fact, it's gotten to the point where I have to work late and even stop at the bar on the way home just to get some relief." Did you notice a theme in these 4 scenarios? If you guessed blame you're right! Here's an outline of some differences between holding a person or thing at fault vs blaming them. Notice the only similarity is the 1st point. Fault: 1. Hold someone/something responsible. 2. Hold someone/something accountable to repair/fix. 3. Awareness around what's caused the problem. 4. You create options to resolve the situation independent of party at fault. 5. May choose to forgive offending party as a means to release yourself from the pain associated with the action. 6. Judgment, gossip, and shame don't need to enter the picture and you are left with unlimited possibilities to move forward. Blame: 1. Hold someone/something responsible. 2. You have a Passive Aggressive response and no real intention to hold them accountable. 3. May or may not be aware of what truly created the problem. 4. The only option to resolving issue is for the party being blamed to fix it or change. 5. Can't forgive other party and will act as a victim until other party/person changes. 6. Often turns to gossip and shame and always keeps you in a small and constricted position. The problem with acting like you're a victim is that no one is coming to save you. We all blame and it's important to note that we have a choice whether to instead acknowledge someone at fault without judgment, gossip, shame or blame. It's a big difference which approach we take and when we accept that blaming others only leaves us as a helpless victim we can then take the steps necessary to get our power back.

This week's podcast  started off with a shout out to a Facebook Fan of the I Simply Am Page. I then shared a very personal and tragic story of a close friend of mine who died this past week. While it was difficult for me to share, my hope is through this podcast and blog that I'm able to help others who may feel overwhelmed and unwanted. This is the first week I started answering listener/reader questions and Paula from www.TheWayofTheMommy.com wrote to us on Facebook with 3 questions that I answered. I then introduced the topic of this weeks podcast which is "7 Ways To Get Hours Back in Your Day". Finally, I went over this weeks ISA Challenge! Below, find the show notes from the podcast but I highly encourage you to listen to it yourself for this and much more! ISA Community Shout Out Paula Lundquist: Paula has been a contributing member to the ISA Facebook page for some time now. I really appreciate how honest, vulnerable, and courageous she is. She shares openly and does an amazing job modeling what it looks like to truly want life change. She contributes often and I appreciate and celebrate you Paula. If you'd like to get an appreciation and a shout out join us on FB, Facebook.com/isimplyam and let me hear from you. I'll be happy to mention your business or site here on the show. Losing A Friend One of my best friends for the last 15 years died this week. While we're still awaiting the autopsy results it appears to be that he took his own life. He had everything on the outside but something was still eating away at him on the inside. He wound up coping and isolating as a means to get some relief. The problem with coping and isolating is that while it temporarily takes the pain away it's never resolving any of it. At some point, it's just too much for even the coping mechanisms to be able to bear. He left behind a beautiful wife and 3 small beautiful children. If you feel like something is missing from you. If you ever feel that you are not worthwhile or that you don't matter please reach out. I realize the first instinct is to retract and claim that others don't care, don't have time, or you don't want to bother them consider those red flags. Consider that the natural and appropriate thing to do is reach out. I realize that the norm in our society is to pull away or cope but I'm inviting you to consider this is a red flag that you're going down the wrong path. I'll likely dedicate another show to this topic but wanted you to know I am grieving now for the loss of my friend and in addition to reaching out for support I'm also looking to the gifts that my friend left me along the way. ISA Community Questions Paula from TheWayofTheMommy.com wrote in on Facebook with the following questions: 1. How do I get into the zone so that time freezes? When I hear this question it reminds me of what being in the present looks like. There are some tips and suggestions I have here. First, forget about the notion of multi-tasking. It used to be the thing to do and we had this idea that we could do more things at once. The problem is, you may be doing multiple things but you're not doing any one of them very well. Even worse, you're not in the present when you're multi-tasking because there's part of you that's focused on what's next and that's spread out across multiple different things. So the key here is to set aside some time to do just one thing. Another important thing to put in place is an intentional transition between tasks. If you were playing with the kids but have now set aside 30 minutes to focus on writing make sure you transition. It could include some deep breaths or even some light brushing off. Finally, if you find yourself focusing on the "what's next" just gently bring yourself back to the present task at hand. 2. What kind of tips do you have so that I can experience more time or enoughness of time during the day and week? Everyone has the exact same amount of time every week.

To listen to this weeks podcast directly from iTunes click here or from Stitcher click here! If you don't have time to listen now you can always subscribe and get each show absolutely free downloaded to your iPhone or other mobile device! You're going to get a lot more in the podcast but I want to make sure everyone has access to what I'm about to share with you. There is a stigma in this society and it's not just reserved for men. It's caused us to remain small, feel shame, and I believe ultimately has held us all back from living our dreams. What I'm talking about is asking for help. I've worked with many people and they either don't know how to ask for help or can't accept it when it's offered. What's that all about? Before I dive in to the topic a little bit in these "Show Notes" I want to give a shout out to an ISA Community Member and her name is Susan Diehl! Susan is a Personal Fitness Coach who helps others one on one and in group settings. What separates her from other coaches is her her fun-loving and honest compassionate approach to fitness. She also takes a more holistic approach to fitness in that she ties together self-love, compassion, and tons of fun to make getting fit a loving and exciting thing to do. She definitely takes fitness to a whole new "Fun" level. You can check her out on twitter @ThatGirlSaid, on Facebook at www.facebook.com/LaughingFit or on her website at www.beachbodycoach.com/LaughingFit. If you'd like to get an appreciation and a shout out join us on Facebook at www.facebook.com/isimplyam and let me hear from you. I'll be happy to mention your business or site on the show. The reason so many of us have trouble asking for and receiving help has everything to do with our acceptance of who we are. If we know and believe we are intelligent, strong, powerful, creative, and enough all on our own than receiving help is a blessing. On the other hand if there's a deeper part of us that believes we're not intelligent, not strong, or not enough than asking for or receiving help affirms how dumb, weak, and less than we really are. See how this works? The reality is we live in Community with others and this is how we flourish! The greatest things in this world might have been imagined by one person but they were created by many. This is why we can't be expected to do it alone and why it's at the minimum extremely hard if not impossible to try. One of the biggest motivators and measures we can put in place to make sure we're meeting our goals is accountability. So what happens when we don't incorporate the help of others when following our dreams? We have no one to hold us accountable. We imagine wonderful things happening for us and we might even have a rough outline of how to make those dreams come true. But when no one knows about our dreams we have no accountability. We slip back into our normal routines, make excuses, and those want to's turn into would have and should have. Jim Rohn said, "You are the average of the 5 people you spend the most time with." Who are you spending your time with? Are they complaining about Monday's and how awful the world is? Surround yourself with like-minded people that will lift you up and not keep you down. We tend to keep company with people that are living a similar life to ourselves. If you want more out of your life but the people closest in your life don't want that for themselves then what do you think your chances are of actually making that change? Weekly ISA Challenge: Step 1: Make a list of the people you spend the most time with. Step 2: Separate the list into 2 categories. A. The Holder Backers (so technical, I know) and the Supporters. Step 3: Make a conscious effort to share your hopes, dreams and goals with your Supporters and ask them to hold you accountable. Reduce or limit your time spent with the Holder Backers. Step 4: Go online, to meetups or workshops to find more Supporters to add to your list.

Everyone knows that diets don't work but we can't seem to escape the urge to want to start the latest one. I remember not too long ago some co-workers were talking about a new 7-day "cleanse". They would tell me how each day was different but they were limited to very specific foods. I think on one day they could only eat bananas. Strange, right? Well, I was curious at the time even though I never wound up actually doing it. I think what's exciting about that new diet isn't so much the diet itself but rather the idea that maybe this will be the thing that will help me lose the weight. I know I'm not alone either because studies show that 90% - 95% of all Americans who go on a diet gain most, if not all the lost weight back in 1 - 5 years! So how do we keep allowing ourselves to live in this vicious cycle? How many books are out there telling us what we should be eating? Eat this, don't eat that...eat this at this time but not at that time...combine this food with that food but not that food...and the advice goes on and on. Interestingly enough though, if I asked you what you "should" be eating to have a healthy life you'd probably respond like everyone else. You'd probably tell me that you should have a good-sized breakfast full of healthy proteins, carbs, and fats. In fact, other than not going longer than 2 to 3 hours between meals/snacks and staying hydrated not much else would change throughout your day. Of course, you'd probably tell me to avoid sugars, processed foods (breads, crackers, chips), and anything with a high glycemic index. My point is, we all know what we should eat. It's really not a secret what we should eat to have a healthy and fit body. We all also know exactly what we need to do for exercise as well. If asked, I'm sure you'd tell me that I should go for a 30-minute jog/walk a day. Perhaps you'd tell me to go to the gym, go for a bike ride, or even a swim. Again, we all know exactly what we need to do to exercise. So why do we keep searching and searching and searching for that right diet that will tell us what to eat and how to work out? Well, what if we changed our question from "What do I need to eat?" to "Why do I eat?". I believe this is where the answer to our health problems lie. I believe when we answer the why and not the what we begin to discover the real culprit to our unhealthy lifestyle. The way I see it, we eat primarily for 3 different reasons. We either eat to nourish our body (ie; we're hungry), for pleasure (some foods are just enjoyable), and as a means to cope with feelings we don't want to acknowledge and feel. I think a healthy lifestyle would include 80% of our "Why" in the nourishment department (eating healthy moderate foods) and the other 20% in the pleasure department (a Caribbean Coconut Gelato is just pleasurable every now and then!). Notice I don't leave any room here for eating to cope with feelings. I would venture to say (I know it's been true for me) that the vast majority of us are eating 80% in the coping department/pleasure department and 20% in the nourishment department. Now there are many of you that read this blog and listen to my podcast who are very conscious of what you put into your body but I know many others are still finding it a challenge. It's been a challenge for me and it's something I'm still working on. I once read a book called Super Brain written by Deepak Chopra and Rudolph Tanzi. I highly recommend you check it out! They had an amazing suggestion in there that you can try at home! It involves the following scenario: The next time you find yourself going to the kitchen cabinet for something to eat ask yourself how you're feeling. Are you feeling bored, sad, angry, disappointed, anxious, happy? Notice if you're actually hungry. Now that you've identified the feeling(s) you have, go ahead and eat! This is the part I thought was genius! You'd think they would tell you not to eat, right? Well,

So perhaps you were a little thrown off by the title. Anyone who appreciates the work of Louise Hay or Dr. Wayne Dyer is going to know there is significant value in affirmations. After all, our thoughts shape our words, our words shape our actions, and our actions shape much of our reality. Well, the truth is I do think affirmations work but I also believe I have found 3 reasons why they may not be working for you. Let me first mention something though. The reality is, whether you think you've been doing affirmations or not is irrelevant. Why would I say this? Because we all affirm ourselves every day. Thinking to yourself that you're dumb is an affirmation. Thinking to yourself that you're an idiot is an affirmation. Thinking to yourself how bad you look is an affirmation. No, these affirmations are not true of course but you are affirming something when you think or say that about yourself. What we want to do with affirmations is contradict what we've been telling ourselves. We want to begin thinking and saying what is true about ourselves. Can you imagine what kind of life you could be living if you truly affirmed how good you were? If you reminded yourself often how smart, creative, and beautiful you were? Just writing this brings me a feeling of confidence that I can go out and do so much more knowing those are my truths! So if you've ever come across someone who thinks that affirmations don't work you might want to consider the following: 1. It's likely that you are doing them incorrectly. Sometimes we confuse recognition with appreciation. Appreciation falls in the Affirmation camp. Recognition, while a wonderful thing, is not an affirmation. You see, recognition involves praise for something someone did. You graduated school, you finished writing a book, you landed that great job you've always wanted, you finally ran that half-marathon. Those are wonderful achievements and praise/recognition for a job well done goes a long way. However, affirmations are not based on recognition of the accomplishments and achievements you've made. Affirmations are based on appreciations and appreciations are based on your inherent qualities. Those are qualities you were born with and are not dependent on what you do but rather who you are. For example, you are creative, beautiful, thoughtful, intelligent, whole, enough, valuable, etc. So the next time you affirm yourself consider whether it's a quality or an achievement you are expressing. Achievements come and go but your inherent quality (what you're made of) stays the same all the time regardless of what you do or don't do. 2. You are doing them to feel "good". This is not the point of doing affirmations. We don't use affirmations to feel certain ways. People say they don't work because sometimes they don't "feel better" after saying them. Affirming yourself has nothing to do with how you feel in any given moment. Your thoughts and your feelings are two different things and this is a great time to remind yourself of that. 3. You're not doing them enough. It's amazing how often throughout a given day we're given reminders about what's "wrong" with us. We need to counter that by doing affirmations daily! Here's Your Challenge For The Week: Step 1: Do it first thing in the morning in front of the mirror or when you go to bed Step 2: Allow yourself to have whatever thoughts and feelings come up for you. Don't judge them. Step 3: This is about changing your starting place so go easy on yourself. Step 4: When you're about to give up and stop is right when you're going to have your breakthrough, so keep going. For much more, listen to the entire podcast on iTunes and if you feel so compelled I would be forever grateful if you left a written review there as well!    

Welcome to our very first podcast for I Simply Am! I've thought long and hard about adding a podcast to the blog. Podcasts are another great way to consume content. Blog posts are great but they require you to be in front of your computer or tablet/iphone with all of your attention on the article for a period of time. Since podcasts are audible you'll be able to listen to a show on your phone or tablet device while you're out jogging, driving, or even gardening! Before I move any further I want to explain what a podcast is for those of you who are unfamiliar. Everyone else skip ahead just a bit... What is a Podcast? Essentially it's a digital media file that allows you to listen and/or watch content on your mp3 player, smartphone, iPod, or iPad. The key distinction, however, between a single audio or video file and a podcast is that you can subscribe to a podcast. What does this mean for you? Once a podcast is available (this one should be in the next week or two) in iTunes you can click on a subscribe link and automatically get every episode published. So what's in this first episode of The I Simply Am Podcast? I go over an introduction to the show and let you know about some logistics of the show: The shows are for those looking to answer the question, "Who am I?" and are designed to give you real life tools you can use to live the fullest expression of who you are! The shows will be published once a week on Monday's (on this blog and soon on iTunes). A unique quality of the show is that I'll leave you with an exercise or tool you can apply to your own life, every week! The shows will run about 30 minutes in length (unless I'm doing an interview). All show notes will be here on the blog. Today's Topic: The Practice of Walking With Fear In this episode a share a story of a recent experience I had at a weekend Retreat in the California Mountains. I share with you a personal fear of mine and walk you through exactly what happened to me. It could involve being eaten by a wild Mountain Lion so you'll have to listen to the show to find out! This Week's Exercise Each week I'll be giving you a step-by-step exercise that you can try on in your own life. Each one will be designed to not only challenge you but to help you make a tangible and positive difference in your life. It's one thing to talk about love, self awareness, spirituality, and authentic living. It's a completely different thing to learn new tools and use them so you can see real changes in your life. The following is a 4-step process to practice walking with fear. Listen to the podcast (above) for a more comprehensive overview and the background on these steps. 1. Acknowledge that you are feeling fear but Do Not judge the fear. 2. Accept the fear you are feeling. 3. Allow yourself to have a feeling (fear) and make a choice to respond based on something else. 4.  Grab the hand of your inner child and take the first step. Once you listen to the show and try out this exercise I want to hear from you! Reach out to me on Facebook or leave a comment on the blog! Join us next week when we release Episode 2: 3 Reasons Why Affirmations Don't Work (tip: there's a twist on this one!). With Gratitude and Appreciation,