Monday Moments by Monica Wofford

Being “Crazy” busy will make you….well…crazy. Yet, we all spend inordinate amounts of time bragging about how busy we are in a sense. If you’re not bragging about it, you’re likely talking about it or telling others or complaining about being tired. All of that is okay, but what if… just what if… your focus was on something say more helpful? If you are “crazy” busy all the time, up to your neck in alligators, busier than a one armed paper hanger, and more crazed than a cat in a room full of rocking chairs (all sayings I have personally used, mind you) then maybe these three thoughts deserve a moment of your consideration, that is if you can find the time to read and contemplate them. Prolonged “Crazy” Busy-ness will SLOW You Down Eek! Few who are crazy busy all the time want to hear the words slow down unless it is part of a fantasy they wish they could achieve. However, when you work yourself into a “tizzy” all the time eventually your body is going to tell you it needs a break and demand your attention. Eventually, you will run out of steam and find that it takes more time to do even the simplest task. Take a break when you feel the energy dissipate or you will find yourself experiencing the law of diminishing returns. Saying “Yes” to Everything Does NOT Make You Smart or More Well Liked As much as many would like to believe that saying yes is a way to gain approval, the truth is that the person who is able to discern the need for a boundary or the time to say no, due to their inability to focus full attention, actually garners more respect. Respect and likability often go hand in hand. Commit to what you can do and do what you say. Avoid the temptation to just say yes to all of it so that you look like the hero only to have to rain on someone’s parade at a later date and risk damage to the very reputation you might have been trying to improve. Being Busy is not a Badge of Honor, but an attempt to Bridge a Gap of Self Approval At one time I began a book entitled “The Busy Badge” and at the beginning of the project, my book coach quickly informed me that writing this book would require me to convince the Type A’s of the world that being busy was a problem. Um… right! Hence you’ve never seen the book, but my thoughts on the subject haven’t changed. What are we all so “busy” doing? Those Type A folks, or shall I say WE Type A folks, are often running around DOING a multitude of things because it drives them, but is the drive to do more really coming from a drive to be who they want to be or what they want others to see? Clearly a rhetorical question, but in a friendly way of reminding us that our behavior is still contagious, if you struggle with standing still and just being with yourself, might it stand to reason that others are picking up on this from you? Believe you’re awesome no matter what you’ve accomplished lately and the time to accomplish great things will likely appear before you know it. That is perhaps a bit oversimplified for the more linear thinkers, but I think you get the idea. In a time when doing more with less and one person doing the job of seemingly six people, being busy has become the norm, but with that norm also comes a few challenges. Are these challenges you face? Are these thoughts worth your time to consider? Tell us more. And oh, as a side benefit, considering these ideas before you launch into that to-do list in front of you today, may not only increase your Contagious Leadership™ of your own actions, but also improve your Contagious Confidence™ of what all you need to do to approve of you and your accomplishments today. Stay Contagious! Monica

Many leaders are motivated by “getting stuff done”, yet there are any number of barriers that prevent such productivity and today’s Monday Moment will help you remove those barriers with ease. There are 7 ways actually to get more done and they come from a book I’ve recently read. Chad Hymas, a dear friend and speaker colleague, recently authored Doing What Must Be Done, and it immediately captured my attention and taught me how to get more done and how to… well, get out of my own way. Seven steps from his book follow. Recognize “It’s not about you” Chad, who suffered a tragic tractor accident that paralyzed most of the muscles below his neck, challenges you to look at life completely and with a bigger picture. "It's not about you" the leader and how you feel or just your behaviors, it's about how your habits and your actions affect everyone around you. Getting more things done requires that you remember how contagious your behavior really is and include others in that bigger picture. Do is the Operational Word to Done The root word for doing is “done” and “do”, so “do” it every day without fear, without falter. Tackle those things you know must be DONE but might be tempted to put off for later. Know in your heart when you do the little things on that long list, you will get closer every day to getting the big things done. Failure- Don’t quit Chad says, “I quit a lot, I must be a failure. But, I don’t STAY quit.  I have my family and friends’ support who help me to not “stay quit” and I’ve developed the tenacity to stay with it.” What do you give up on easily that with just a tiny bit more effort you could get done? Reaching Goals We all know that if you set your mind to anything you can do it or at least that is what we’ve been told. If you set goals, break them down into individual small steps you can do right NOW to get closer to reaching that goal. Stop looking at the things you can’t do and look at the things you can do and do them, knowing and focusing on how good it will feel when you’ve reached the goal! Dealing with unexpected challenges Riding a tractor one minute and fighting for your life the next is the epitome of an unexpected “challenge” and that is how Chad describes it. Most of us don’t fight for our life every day, so in perspective that fire drill, that cranky employee…piece of cake to deal with, yes? How Chad was able to deal with his unexpected challenge, endure the pain   and frustration and move forward is by simply doing a little bit every day to get done what needed to be done. Love and devotion In Chapter 3 Chad shares the love and devotion he receives from his wife Shondell. Those that are married know it is easy to love your spouse when things are going well. Even those that aren’t, also know the truth in the phrase “when the going gets tough, the tough get going.” Whether in work or just life, those that stick together can get though anything, but it starts with you providing support and devotion and showing others how to share that back with you. Life is not fair Chad reminds us that "Life is not FAIR, but can by FAIRLY Wonderful." In chapter twelve Chad says, "I realize that my life is not determined by what happens to me, but by how I respond to what happens. It is not about what life brings to me, but rather what I bring to life." Even my grandpa used to say “a Fair is something that comes to town once a year, and this ain’t it.” Do you focus on what isn’t fair about your job or your leadership role or do you roll with the unexpected, the times you want to quit and the others there to help you, contribute to the goal, and support your direction? We all at times need a reminder that we’re not the only ones who struggle and one could argue that leadership at times, can be wrought with daily struggles and frustrations. What are you looking at, the things that challenge you as a leader or the things that challenge you to grow? The challenges will keep you from getting things done.

Self –esteem is the belief that you are worth the effort to, among other things, at times make tough decisions. If you’re a leader and your self-esteem is low or lacking, it could be costing you money.. and a LOT of it at that. When a leader suffers from low self-esteem, their decisions are likely to lean toward those that will gain external approval. This applies to customers, bosses, colleagues and team members. Often it is a function of simply being new to the position and will improve with time, but in the improvement phase, the following scenarios are not only likely, but costly: -          Low self-esteem may cause a leader to keep a poor performing employee far longer than is appropriate, draining benefits, individual productivity, team productivity and customer experiences when working with that person. -          Low self-esteem may cause a leader to shy away from defending a “right” decision when a powerful boss blusters “this is what must be done, regardless of cost”, instead of calmly pointing out cost savings or finding another way to approach the boss in a language that fits his or her sense of urgency for action and results. -          Low self-esteem may cause a leader to do enthusiastically MORE than it takes to save a customer by giving away much more than what the customer may have requested if asked “What would be the best way for us to resolve this for you?” Those in need of having the customer “like” them or think of them as saving the situation are likely to give away the farm faster, to gain the appreciation. If you work with newer managers, recently promoted, but perhaps not prepared, there is a solution to boosting their short term dip in self-esteem when learning their new role. Give them help in the way of a mentor, senior leader, executive coach or perhaps even audio or written resources, such as Contagious Confidence™ or Contagious Leadership. Make it a part of their orientation as a manager and also examine those who may have needed this orientation when they were promoted and consider improving the confidence at all management levels. Only when a leader develops a higher level of self-awareness and self-esteem will they be able to develop it in others. A higher authentic self-esteem improves confidence, communication, team work, collaboration, and the bottom line and begins with the perceptions, beliefs, and explanations of the leader… all of which create contagious behavior and much of which take place among the voices in their head. Yep, you read that correctly the voices in their head. J Have a great Monday, an even better week and of course, stay contagious! Monica

Stressed out people act cranky and often make bad decisions in the heat of the moment. Is your sales force stressed out? Then your numbers are suffering. In the behavior of people and especially sales people, what leaders describe as difficult or high maintenance behavior is usually the stressed or negative version of whatever are one’s dominant set of natural personality traits. Top performing sales people are often highly dramatic, emotional, exuberant, enthusiastic, and less than organized. Put one of them  under stress and you’ll watch them act negative. (i.e. needy drama queen) It’s a simple cause and effect and largely depends on the development of their own self-awareness and emotional intelligence. Imagine a stressed out “drama queen” going on a sales call. They are likely to give away the farm to get a feeling of approval or appreciation for giving such a discount. They might complain to the potential customer about feeling under valued or talk a wee bit more than the customer wants. They may overstep the normal social boundaries and “overshare” and they may get on social media and tell the “world” how they feel if they are blaming your organization for their stress.  What customer is going to jump at the chance to buy from someone acting like that? So, what do you do to reduce the stress for your high performing sales people? Here are some options: -          Make yourself available to them to vent. Just listen and don’t try to fix. They need to be heard. -          Remind them that historically their numbers have been great and that this might just be  a temporary slump -          Give them a “small” incentive that leaves you room to build on if you need to, to motivate their need for appreciation -           Share the efforts of an organized support team member who can do some of the paperwork or calculations on margins BEFORE the deal is closed or sold -          Recognize even the smallest examples of behavior you want them to repeat. The very attributes leaders love and look for in high performing sales people are the very same ones that when stressed out cause those same leaders to roll their eyes and shake their head. It’s the way it works and it is important to take the good with the not so convenient and devote attention to reducing their stress as much as you’re able. Remember also, not to fuel their stress and train them to act stressed just to get a reward.  That is training them how to treat you and well… another post. Much of these suggestions and detailed information on the personality of your sales team can be found in the newly released book Make Difficult People Disappear.  It’s not a magical formula but rather a dramatic shift in mindset that makes difficulty disappear and those you thought were difficult become those you can now easily work with! (if you’d like to order an autographed copy of Make Difficult People Disappear or several copies for you and your team, CLICK HERE) Have a great Monday, an even better week and of course, stay contagious! Monica

The range of reactions to “that’s not my job” might land some managers in jail, but it’s when a leader turns a blind eye to this remark and says “that’s not my problem” that productivity slows WAY down! It’s the employee with an attitude problem that says “that’s not my job”, but it’s the leader with an attitude problem that thinks “that’s not my problem.” It is safe to say that an employee who says “that’s not my job” is acting like that proverbial difficult person and on today, the day of official release for Make Difficult People Disappear this seemed an appropriate Monday Moment topic. If you’ve ever heard someone shirk a job responsibility in this way, don’t fret, there are ways to deal with it effectively. You could respond with “Well, it doesn’t have to be your job for long.” (My personal favorite!) You could say “You remember that phrase ‘other duties as assigned’? This would be one of those.” You could remind the employee that there are many valued contributions they provide and this is one needed now. You could sit him down and have the conversation about everyone is doing more with less. You could talk about the economy. You could describe the numbers of resumes you might get if you post the job should she decide it’s no longer one she wants to do. (okay, so maybe that’s a bit direct) You could say ‘I beg your pardon?’, followed by the evil parent eye OR You could address the misstep in professional conduct and point to a policy that says “Each team member will willingly participate in the activities necessary to satisfy our clients’ needs for our products and services and continued relationship with our organization.” The problem is that many leaders get fed up with this kind of behavior and many organizations do not have a professional conduct policy, by which to govern the behavior or potential attitude problems of employees. Thus, this kind of issue becomes one that leaders tire of dealing with and they walk away saying “that’s not my problem” under their breath. When an employee problem of this type gets ignored in the organization, it spreads. It becomes contagious, starts to affect other team members, can create conflict and certainly stress and will slow down, to the speed of cold molasses any and all productivity, if left to fester. As the leader, it IS your problem and your responsibility to deal with the difficult people, even the ones who simply seem to have an attitude. Stay tuned for more on this topic in the coming weeks and in the meantime, maybe it’s time to brush up on or create that organizational professional conduct policy. Have a great Monday, an even better week and of course, stay contagious! Monica

If you were on Facebook last week you may have seen the talk about Make Difficult People Disappear and the fact that the first off the press copy arrived in my office last week! When I took a look at the contents a surprising and unintended theme appeared that I hadn’t seen before. There are chapters about shifts, maps, and wheels and those are what will help you DRIVE away office difficulty. You still make it disappear mind you, but this happens to be 3 steps to quickly drive that process. With the SHIFTS chapter the goal is to shift your expectations. What are you expecting from those you lead or work with or live with? Are your expectations of those you call difficult, actually driving their continued difficult behavior? There is an analogy used in the book about seeing a Jack Russell terrier and expecting it to act like and look like a German Shepard. Clearly they don’t act the same, but if you are expecting them to, who’s being difficult, you or the dog..er.. I mean person? With the MAPS chapter the goal is to see where to take a conversation so that you can improve the relationship or get what you want out of the conversation. Maps work for all parties, so they will benefit from having one, too. A tool, such as the CORE Profile® will give you such a map and guide you on what to say to whom and how and when so that the conversation is in a language they understand and can act on, thus giving you the result you want.. instead of frustration. With the WHEELS chapter we’re poking a little fun at the overuse of “putting the right people in the right seats on the bus” but also referring to the wheels of motion. You do want to take action and assess team members (even the difficult ones)and make sure you have a right fit, but you have to remember one person can fit many roles and just an assessment alone without some further digging and discovery of the needs of that role and the entire teams gifts, skills, traits, and talents may drive the difficult meter to an all-time high. Taking action is not the same as making hasty ill-informed decisions when it comes to behaviors and job fit. Need more? If you’d like to explore Make Difficult People Disappear and what others have said as well as how it might be a valuable tool for your organization, go to MakeDifficultPeopleDisappear.com. You may also find value in sending team members to our Dealing with Difficulty Conference in Orlando, where these issues and more will be a part of the training. Drive away difficulty or just make it disappear. Whatever method you use to rid yourself of the stress and internal office conflict a leader often deals with daily, the point is to get folks on the same page, get what you want and need out of your relationships in work and life, help them get what they want and need, and focus on leading effectively. Have a great Monday, an even better week and of course, stay contagious! Monica

Oh my lanta! I had no idea “Office Drama Queen” would pull so many results on Google. It’s an issue of magnificent proportion and if you deal with it in your office, you know. Sites from Scientific American to Career Builder to AOL Jobs to even eHow lists ways to deal with the office drama queen, but one thing that seemed not to be emphasized, is the leaders’ role in feeding this behavior. We train employees and colleagues how to treat us and if you’re one of the twelve million faced with an office drama queen, or what some call “diva”, here’s the one key piece of advice that might make the most difference. STOP REWARDING the BEHAVIOR Leaders reward this kind of behavior by being afraid to address the issue, avoiding assigning some projects for fear of the outburst, ignoring the behavior thinking it will go away, or by consistently spending time in meetings or team gatherings giving this type of person the spotlight. Instead, experts site these remedies as more effective and in line with a more viable solution: Set boundaries on what is acceptable on the job behavior and what’s not Avoid reacting and providing more ammunition when an outburst occurs Remind the employee of the above stated boundaries and swiftly deliver the consequences you’ve set for deviations Pay more attention to those doing the job well and less to those who choose not to abide by the guidelines for professional conduct or interaction These may seem like down and dirty or very black and white responses to an emotional, seemingly complicated issue or type of behavior, but as a leader, it is your decision to work with someone who continues to create drama or spread drama to the entire team. You can decide to tolerate it and lose your right to complain about it, or address the situation directly and swiftly and watch the behavior dissipate or the person self-deselect rather quickly. Dealing with difficult employees is not a leadership requirement but rather a choice. HOW you deal with them is a choice. Need more? Difficulty comes in all shapes and sizes, tones, and tempers and this may be one of those times when you realize that you don’t have the skills you need to assert yourself or to address the situation in way that makes you comfortable. We can help with those skills at our April Conference. Interested in learning more? Click here Have a great Monday, an even better week and of course, stay contagious! Monica

As leaders, I think we’ve all had moments of motivation, as well as days of ardent determination, but which one do you need to succeed as a leader? Much as you must manage some days and lead on others, or both in the same hour span, the answer is you need both motivation and determination, but what’s the difference? Motivated Dictionary.com defines Motivation as a reason to act a certain way; an inducement or an incentive. Weight Watchers describes motivation in their material as a temporary state of effort in which emotion is driving your reason for action. A diet is perhaps a great way to look at this same concept for leaders. If you’re motivated to start a weight loss effort you might take the first step, buy the right foods, and walk past the M&Ms. If you’re determined, you’ll still exercise even when you don’t feel like it and walk buy the candy on days when you don’t feel so strong. What are you motivated to do in your efforts to provide contagious leadership to those you work with? Motivation alone can turn into an initiative that gets called the “Campaign of the week” and fizzles fast. Determination will help it become effective over the long term, so let’s take a look at that attribute. Determination You might have guessed we’d juxtapose this word with its definition, too and dictionary.com defines determination as the act of coming to a decision. Hmmm… that’s a bit different than having a reason to act. Using the same analogy of weight loss, if you’ve decided to lose 10lbs, you now have a reason to act as you need to when following through on your decision. If you merely want to look a little different without a clear decision on what that looks like, you may be distracted easily or come up with justification to lean toward something more momentarily compelling. What in your leadership role of coach, guide, mentor, disciplinarian, and provider of the direction and vision, have you decided needs to be done? Motivation may help you come to a decision you’re determined to fulfill. Determination drives continued motivation. While they work hand in hand, one without the other can seem a bit empty. For example, a leader motivated to develop a high performing team may lose steam when the first barrier arrives or first employee grumbles at the changes to implement. A leader who’s decided to develop a high performing team will likely have a plan, provide coaching, implement training, or listen longer to the needs of the team while building up steam for the long haul. Those only motivated tend to run out of steam before the end result is reached. Are you a motivated leader or one who is determined? What are you determined to do? And equally importantly, what are those you lead determined and motivated to partner with you on that needs to change around here? Have a great Monday, an even better week and of course, stay contagious! Monica

It is no secret that I am a big movie fan! And yes, I’m the weirdo in the theatre who is quietly typing notes in her phone with the screen on as dimly as possible. Hence, this week’s Monday Moment focused on the Dr. Seuss movie of The Lorax. Dr. Seuss, as we know him, was a man of wisdom, who couched his beliefs and his guidance in children’s books with whimsical rhymes. The Lorax, both the movie and the character, was no different, but he also shared three powerful leadership lessons that you want to apply to those you have the privilege of leading…even if you’re not something as momentous as the guardian of all the trees. Do You Have a Completely Irrational Sense of Optimism? Things happen at the office and among the team you lead and often it is the attitude of you and the team that makes the difference in how that change is handled, dealt with, and worked through. An irrational sense of Optimism was what the boy had in this movie, thinking he could make a significant change in his town against an evil ruler, a scary exit strategy, and a doting mother who told him not to worry about anything that big. With a little determination and a powerfully contagious attitude, this boy did change things for his entire town, not because he never felt defeated, but because he believed he could. What do you believe you can make a difference in and who do you surround yourself with and what is their attitude? Which Way Does a Tree Fall? The Lorax asked the boy, when he became a man, which way a tree fell? He didn’t know the answer and the Lorax told him a tree falls the way it leans, so be careful which way you lean?  Which way are you leaning? If what is supporting you is taken out from under you, which way will you fall? If a persuasive opinion or person pushes you, will you fall in the direction of what you believe or are you leaning in a way you’ll regret? Is your team leaning toward collaboration or conflict? Are you pushing them to fall in one direction or another? Be mindful of what you lean toward as it could be your future. Is it About What it Is…Or? When we conduct corporate leadership training, we devote one section to the concept of people being difficult or different. It is often the simple issue of awareness that changes those labels form one to the other and that change opens up chasms of potential. The Lorax told us it isn’t about what something is, but about what it can become? What could you become with the right skills, desire, and practice? What could members of that team you lead become with your engaged guidance? Leadership lessons are all around us and often it just takes paying attention to see them. But once you see them, it’s your choice to apply them. Will you lead a team to greatness, or even just high performing productivity because you see their potential? Will you take notice of which way they’re leaning and whether you’re their support or strongest “pusher”? What is your attitude about them? About change? About leading in general? Whatever you choose, your choices, your confidence, your communication and your leadership are all contagious and they will make the difference in whether your work feels fulfilling or frustrating, powerful or powerless, and effective, or merely efficient. Contagious Leaders take action and continuously learn how to be more effective. What will you do to rise to the occasion? Have a great Monday, an even better week and of course, stay contagious! Monica

Why is that we spend more time with our poor performers than our star performers? Are we operating off the adage “if it ain’t broken, why fix it” or are we forgetting “people do what they get paid attention to for doing”? Star performers are usually highly internally motivated and complain the most about things like paperwork, administrative follow up and slow systems that get in their way. How can you as the leader, stay out of the way of the star performer and make sure that they continue to get what they need to thrive and grow? Here are three ways to stay out of their way: Provide Them The Support They Need If you have a stellar sales person, for example, chances are you’ve noticed they struggle with paperwork. They may even have a hard time organizing their way out of a paper bag with a map and a compass, but this is often how they operate. They’re very good with people, not so good with paperwork. Rather than trying to change that, embrace it. Give them the support personnel or systems they need to lean on to get the paperwork done and let them do what they do best. Provide Clear Resources and Boundaries Those that out-perform others on that team you have the privilege of leading need to know where the ditches are. They need to know how far they can push, how deep a discount can they give, and how much initiative they can take. Without these clear boundaries they may run headlong in the direction you wish they wouldn’t go, using their own initiative to make things happen. If you consistently fuss at them or leave them feeling “in trouble” for doing what comes naturally, you will train them how to treat you. This might mean you train them to hold back on their initiative for fear of getting in trouble or doing something wrong and this will negatively impact their performance and slow down their momentum. Have Their Back Star performers are often motivated by appreciation and accomplishment. Recognize their efforts and defend their behaviors, obviously to a point. If you’ve given them a goal and they go after it aggressively, they may be of the mind set that “some will, some won’t, so what and next”. If that is the case, they may step on some toes or move quickly through a list of leads with lesser regard for how those who said “no” feel. Be prepared to back them up by stepping in to smooth the relationship that may not have been a yes, right now and teach the star performer how to hand off a potential lead for later, that may not have said yes, now. Need more? Sales training and skill development often involves increasing the confidence and communication of those who are your top performers. It also involves teaching the leaders of those star performers how to motivate, support, encourage and stay out of the way of those who dive in and get it done. For more information on Contagious Confidence, Contagious Communication, and Contagious Leadership programs, go to www.ContagiousCompanies.com where all three are addressed and provided. Your top performers need your support, clear boundaries, recognition, and for you to stay out of their way. Don’t let go of your role as the leader, but do provide them the ability to lead their own actions. That’s part of what got them to be the star performers you celebrate now. Have a great Monday, an even better week and of course, stay contagious! Monica

Have you ever had someone talk down to you in a way that left you feeling utterly silly? Has your boss ever been the culprit who caused you to feel that way? What would those you lead say about you? While intuitively, we know that others don’t make us feel a certain way, the truth is we don’t believe what others say unless we already, to some degree, believe it to be true. So what do you do or believe when your boss “talks down” to you? First, Ask Yourself If it’s True I go back to the idea that we don’t believe what someone else says about us unless we somewhat believe it to be true about ourselves. This is where you want to check your own sense of Contagious Confidence™ and question the validity of your own belief. Did you just make an assumption that this person thinks you’re stupid or do you feel somewhat less than confident in this area to begin with?  Whatever your answer, this is your first step. We don’t argue with our own data, so make sure the data going in your head and whirling around up there, is true. Second, Stop, Drop, and Roll Nope, nothing’s on fire and yes, that line is correct. Stop, Drop, and Roll. Stop beating yourself up for not knowing the answer or action expected of you. Drop the repeated tongue lashings going on in your head. And roll with it for now. Sandler sales training facilitators are famous for saying “some will, some won’t, so what, next” and though that might sound a little black and white or condescending, you really won’t please everyone all the time and chances are the tone that boss used that sounded like she was talking down to you, was more about her day and her issues than you. Drop it and move on. Dig Deeper and Then Ask This is probably the most challenging step of all and much of its use will depend on the relationship you have with your boss. When the dust settles and you’ve gotten through some distance from the incident, think about what might be going on with your boss in addition to the event that led to this conversation of talking down to you. Try to put yourself in the moccasin’s he’s wearing as they say, and then ask the message sent was intended to create the feeling you got. No matter whose issue this is, you’re feelings have been affected and you have a right to assert yourself and ask if that was what was meant, but be veeeerry careful here. You’re not looking to pick a battle or make it worse. You’re looking for confirmation or contradiction of what you suspect is the case. Be sure you’re prepared for the answer, but at least you’ll have one for sure. Need more? Difficulty comes in all shapes and sizes, tones, and tempers and this may be one of those times when you realize that you don’t have the skills you need to assert yourself or to address the situation in a way that makes you comfortable. We can help with those skills at our April Conference. Interested in learning more? Click here Whether you’re able to join us in April or just have time for a quick read, these steps should help you mitigate some of the impact if you feel someone has talked down to you, even if it’s your boss. Have a great Monday, an even better week and of course, stay contagious! Monica

Does making a mistake make you difficult? Well, heck I hope not. I make them all the time. What can make you appear difficult is messing up and then covering up, so let’s look at how you can be a leader, make a mistake, recover, and make progress… not to mention save a little face. With Make Difficult People Disappear coming out soon, it seems we’re awfully focused on this issue of difficult people lately, however, the more I think about it, it’s a rampant problem. There are some who seem to “see difficult people” instead of “dead people” from the movies, all over the place. This might even be the case in your office and if so, some of it may be derived from how you recover from your blunders. Here are a few ways to do it with grace and saving face. Own it Immediately There’s not much worse than making a mistake and everyone else knowing about it, but you. And once you know about it, if you act as if it never happened, everyone else still knows and then the rumors start. Just own the mistake. You’re human. You goofed. Big deal and in most cases, at least hopefully, the world will continue to spin. The faster you own it, the more respect you’ll gain for being just like everyone else… fallible and human. Don’t Delegate Repair Leaders, when you goof, it’s okay. What will stop the respect and rapport you’ve worked hard to build is delegating the fix of that error, particularly if you’re the reason things went awry to begin with. This isn’t a time to practice delegation. It’s a time to practice taking fast action, responsibility, prioritization, and communication; all key leadership traits. Don’t give your problem to someone else to fix. Use it as a Teaching Moment In professional speaking, there is a technique that makes use of self-deprecating humor. In leadership this might well be known as transparency, but the concept is the same. Use yourself, your own vulnerabilities, and your own foibles as teachable examples or moments. When you say something off the cuff without thinking and it causes hurt feelings for example, use that as an example of why you are urging a team member to think before she speaks. When you misjudge the length of time needed for a meeting, don’t gloss over it, make use of it when you’re guiding a colleague on the next agenda. Much of what we’re addressing here is personal accountability and responsibility, though for some leaders who insist that they be perfect or know everything, this can be more difficult than it sounds. The most effective leaders, who recognize all that they say, do, think, believe and behave is contagious, also know that the human traits rub off on others the most. Your own vulnerabilities and admission of mistakes give those you lead the belief that they can live up to your expectations and maybe even one day fill your shoes. If you’re human, they’ll go easier on themselves when they make mistakes as well. Who knew a simple mistake could lead to more effective succession planning and to an elevated confidence among your team? It happens and it all begins with what you do the moment you realize you’ve blundered. Have a difficult boss who doesn’t ever seem to make mistakes? This may be a prime opportunity for you learn how to deal with that “difficult” person. For more information on our April conference of “How Do We Deal with Difficult People” click here. Have a great week, an even better Monday, and of course, stay contagious! Stay Contagious! Monica

The truth? Leaders are often part of the difficulty when they fail to effectively deal with difficult people. If you take a look at the offerings of most public seminar companies or corporate training firms, it’s a near guarantee that Dealing with Difficult People will be listed in their catalog because leaders often outsource this solution when they don’t know how to resolve the problem internally. Now there’s nothing wrong with sending someone to a class to bolster their skills, but don’t send them because you’d rather ignore the problem. No one wants to deal with difficult people and few know how, so one of two things happens in these classes: -         All the people who are seen as difficult are sent as if to be magically fixed after a one day class -          All those frustrated with the difficult ones go to the class to vent their feelings with colleagues who feel their pain Well, what I should say is that was at least MY experience when I taught two different versions of this class across the US for a few years. We either talk about others who are difficult or we make the effort to fix those who are difficult so we don’t have to deal with them at all. Unfortunately, neither are the real deal…or key…to dealing with them once and for all. In the Harvard Business Review blog, Tony Schwarz says the Secret to Dealing with Difficult People is YOU, or should I say US. He then goes on to explain how we contribute to the image others have of us and we create the perception we have of others, both of which might be slanted toward difficulty. It’s a good read and I couldn’t agree more, but then again, we all intellectually know that we play a part in the difficult behaviors of others. It’s really not all them, it’s both parties. And of course, that means that we’re likely part of the problem we keep complaining about and trying to deal with. Hmm… well that’s a bummer. So what IS the deal? What DO we do as leaders to keep from fueling their difficult “fire” or making it worse? What DO we do when faced with someone else’s behavior that seems difficult? Here are a few suggestions: -          Lead the effort to work WITH that person versus contributing to or being a conduit for any gossip you might hear -          Be diligent in your leadership responsibilities of addressing problems directly and quickly so that a simply poor performer or person who’s had one bad day, doesn’t turn into a much bigger problem that becomes difficult for many. -          Help those you lead understand that we are all different and that when two different folks have one task to complete and one goal, their methods may clash. That can lead to creativity or conflict. What expectations do you set as the leader for the outcome? One difficult person can certainly strain the entire dynamics of the team. Make sure that you’re not that difficult person and that you’re not adding to the impact of someone who might be difficult by leading them less than effectively. And maybe consider this…if a person acts difficult, but no one is around to label it, talk about or judge the behavior, are they still difficult? It always takes two to deal with difficulty. Want More? It’s one thing to know how to lead well and to manage yourself. It’s quite another to train all those you lead to do it for their teams. If you are struggling with conflict, team formation, and productivity in your office, there is a one day conference coming up in April that might be of interest to you or your team. It’s called How DO We Deal with Difficult People and will reveal many tips, skills, and insights that will change those who participate and how they interact with others. Read more… Have a great Monday and of course, stay contagious! Monica

As someone who has recently written a book called Make Difficult People Disappear and is designing conference curriculum for the same issue, I’ve spent a lot of time recently focusing on complaints and how difficult people have a LOT of them. But, if you’re the leader in your organization and you are complaining regularly about those you lead, these efforts may not change the behavior and even worse, they may land you in the Human Resource office. An article was forwarded to me recently by one of our team members and its headline was: Do you Lead with a Complaint, Comment or Question? It struck me as poignant because when a leader coaches or disciplines, it usually works best to begin with a question. Coaching is a two way dialogue and discipline needs to begin that way, as well. Why Complaints Don’t Work Beginning a conversation with a complaint puts an employee or team member on the defensive and leads the conversation in an entirely different direction than the behavior you may have meant to discuss. Complaints are negative and much like starting with “we need to talk about your attitude” will create a response you may not have been prepared for, such as “what attitude, let’s talk about YOUR attitude”, a negative complaint as an opening line sets the same tone and sabotages your success. That sabotage can then lead to a need for the employee to fire a complaint back at you. Enter Human Resources. Why Comments Don’t Work If you simply make a comment, under your breath or just loud enough to be audible, it may be perceived as a non-directive opinion. It may also be so subtle that the employee doesn’t get it. Or they may merely hear your comment, take it personally, and use it as a reason to erode their self-esteem which then slows down their productivity. That of course applies to a negative comment. The same can be true for a positive comment. It can be so subtle that you leave the employee wondering if you meant it, what you meant by it, if it was positive or if you value them really, hence why you said it softly or indirectly. Undervalued employees will usually find a way to tell you that and it’s usually just an indirectly, but more damaging, than your comment was delivered. Why Questions are Good With the simple preface of saying “watch your tone of voice here”, questions are good because they engage the employee in conversation. If you say, “I noticed you took this action with that customer. Can you tell me more about your reasoning on that decision?”, you’re now in a conversation that with more discussion, can be productive and revealing. It will bring you closer to the issue you were likely trying to bring up or modify or stop, in the first place. It also gets you closer to finding out what motivated their actions, how they think, and what is their side of the story. The more you know as a leader, the less inaccurate assumptions you’ll act on, the more employees will trust you and the more information you will then have to lead those team members more effectively. I should be even more clear, there is great value in the Human Resource professional in your office and being encouraged to visit them is not always a bad thing. However, in many organizations, HR is seen somewhat like the principal’s office. They are the parties that handle employee and leader disputes, but they are also the ones who can help guide you on what questions to ask, how to ask them, and how to handle delicate situations. Work with them as a resource and don’t put yourself in a spot where you’re defending your actions with HR acting as a mediator. Contagious Leaders are proactive AND they ask questions before taking action…unless of course, the building is on fire, but that’s another post entirely! Have a great Monday, an even better week and of course, stay contagious! Monica

According to my recent research, the greatest source of inefficiency and profit loss in organizations lies in ineffective working relationships. In fact, several sources on the cost of what is commonly called “people problems” indicate the following statistics: For Managers who are not prepared to handle it or help in the resolution, 20-25% of their time is spent in day to day team member conflict For each issue that requires disciplinary action, an average of 13 days are spent, invested, or what many would refer to as lost. If that disciplinary issue escalates and requires additional follow through or formal documentation up to an including termination, the average additional investment of time is 9 days. What could that 25% of time and 13 plus 9 days of productivity be put toward instead? If we refer back to the headline of this Monday Moment, one clear option would be revenue generating activities or those which are customer focused and will potentially increase profits. When a manager is promoted, but not prepared, as we’ve discussed in recent posts, the problems are contagious. Their inability or lack of knowledge on how to handle challenging issues can often make the issue larger, stick around longer, or more damaging than it might be otherwise. So, what do you do? Perhaps the first few items of importance include: Ensure those with a focus on management or a promotion, have exceptional communication skills, particularly when under stress Determine that person’s experience with conflict and how easily he or she is able to accept a resolution good for a team, that may not have been his or preferred course of action. Learn more about this person’s chameleon skills. Can they modify how they behave for the benefit of greater understanding from others or must it always be their way or that proverbial highway? Look more closely at his or her confidence level. A person who struggles with self-esteem will often struggle with leading those who do not. Determining these items may not be as easy as you think, but they are worth a second look if you’ve not considered them to date. There are tools that we use that can dig a bit deeper and share specific insights in these areas. For more information on that tool, contact our office at 1-866-382-0121 or go to the CORE Profile page on our site. At a minimum, you want to consider the above factors before you promote someone who may not be prepared, into a potential leadership position. If they aren’t able to lead the people, they won’t be able to produce the profit. What are your leadership struggles? We want to hear from you so tweet me @monicawofford or send me a message on LinkedIn and let’s keep up the connection! Also, if you know someone to whom this particular MondayMoment would be most helpful, forward it to them or suggest they sign up at www.MondayMoment.com. Have a great Monday, an even better week and of course, stay contagious! Monica