Pratfalls of Parenting

“There was never an idea or plan that I would get married, have a kid, or even have a kid in my life” Actor, voice-over performer, producer, teacher, writer, and step dad Eric Webster talks about working in radio and realizing that the other on-air guys were being performers more than just being themselves on air. He shares how loving playing sports is very different than loving talking about sports on the radio. And Eric shares a story of the time he had Gilligan and Mary Ann on his sports talk show, much to the displeasure of his boss. “When I left sports broadcasting it wasn’t sad for everybody” Eric talks about going to his first theater audition to learn about how auditions work and being surprised to find himself cast in a show. And about how much he enjoys acting on a stage and the power he’s seen in being able to listen to his fellow actors while performing in a show. “I think we’ve all agreed that teaching your kid how to smoke is bad” Eric shares how while growing up his parents ceded the entire basement to him and his cohorts. And how that made him realize they’d found a way to keep an eye on him while he thought he had complete freedom. “You put up with me and all of this crap that I did because you love my mother” Eric talks about being a step dad. He shares how long it took him to realize what his step dad meant to his mother while he was growing up and how that influences his approach to being someone’s step dad. Plus, Eric talks about the joy and surprise he experiences at getting the opportunity to become a parent when he thought that was never going to happen for him.

“We leapt because we knew we were capable of it”   Sculptor, educator, and founder of the Chicago Ave Fire Arts Center Heather Doyle talks about how being raised by a single dad and how his work as a builder and his willingness to let her participate in projects gave Heather early comfort with tools and making things. How growing up near Franconia sculpture garden gave her an early interest in large-scale design and building. She talks about some of her early projects building furniture for her bedroom as a child and how it showed her there is more than one way to use a tool. “It was really powerful for me to have a teacher say ‘what do you want to learn?’” Heather talks about how exciting it is to not only have a passion for building sculpture but also to learn she could share that passion with students. And about finding ways to use public art projects to address social and community needs. “I love watching that light bulb moment for kids, or for anyone” She shares how her awareness of the importance of learning how to work safely around large potentially dangerous tools and incredibly hot temperatures translates into wanting her daughters to not feel overprotected or afraid to experiment with ideas. And how much building and making her daughters engage in as a result of her work at the Fire Arts center and the amount of time they spend there. “I have three things I use my stern voice about: food, sleep, and safety”

“I have no idea what life is going to look like after “Kiddo” arrives” Improviser, actor, musician, writer, educator, producer, and general creativity bon vivant Jen Scott talks about the experience of being a working artist and expectant mother. Jen talks about her early career goals of becoming either a dinosaur scientist or a writer and her first exposure to live sketch comedy while in college. “If I could make ‘em laugh they wouldn’t make fun of me” Jen talks about being an introvert and a performer and how those things seem counter-intuitive but in fact make perfect sense. And about how improv in particular creates a space where anything you say or do is okay. Plus, she shares how her desire to do improv forced her to learn how to be a performer despite discomfort with social situations. Jen talks about how her work life makes up a good chunk of her social life and shapes her identity and not knowing what becoming a mother will do to change all of those things. And about preloading her work schedule in the ramp up to having a baby so that she can get as much work in as well as experience as many things before this big ‘everything changes’ time comes. “Its so weird to having impending change that you don’t know what it looks like” Plus, Jen talks about the encouragement and horror stories people share when they learn she’s pregnant. And about where her identity comes from and whether that will be impacted by motherhood. And finding creative activities that aren’t for public consumption but rather just for herself.

“I’m gonna just fake that I know what I’m doing and this is going to go well” Reed Sigmund and Autumn Ness talk about the lack of a dividing line between their work as Company Members at the Children's Theatre Company and the job as parents. Autumn talks about performing at CTC as a child and Reed talks about taking on the role of Johnny Appleseed in his first play in 4th grade. They talk about the struggles young actors face as they build a career and about the excitement and education gained from a CTC theater apprenticeship. “The idea of me being a professional baseball player was about as realistic as me being a professional actor” Autumn and Reed talk about how large a role the CTC and the show calendar played in their deciding when to have a baby. They talk about how balancing parenting and theater work has been modeled by actors and artists they work with. And about how immersed in the world of the theater their son has been since he was born. “I thought, I wouldn’t mind if it was a little messier around here and a little nosier” Autumn talks about how becoming a mother has made her better able to relate to and connect with the Childrens’ Theatre Company audience. And how varying ages of kids in audiences give her glimpses of where her son is likely headed developmentally. Reed talks about how becoming a dad redefined his perspective on what it means to be a good parent. And about not realizing how many chance to feel fear come with being a parent. “We’ll do studies on him when he’s grown to see if this is a healthy choice we’ve made or if his sense of reality is totally blown, since mom and dad are always in costumes run off to things”  

“What if they don’t like the arts?” This episode features improviser Josh Awend and print-maker Robyn Stoller Awend. Josh talks about spending a lot of time as a kid at his dad’s work hiding in a closet drawing and creating and how that fostered an interesting in doing creative work. Robyn shares her early love for the scented marker both as a tool for drawing and a multi-sensory creative tool. And she talks about studying experimental print-making and learning about the science behind print-making. Robyn talks about how her mother pushed her to try many different kinds of art practices when she was young. And Josh shares how his mothers interest in and skill at creative design work and his dads work in upholstery made creativity seem like a natural part of the work life. “Once we decided we were going to grow our family I knew my art needed to be put on the back burner for a time” Robyn talks about spending too much time away from making art and the challenges of rebuilding a regular practice of art making. And the hope that she will someday be able to incorporate her kids into the work. Josh talks about worrying about his kids someday seeing him perform improve and what they will think of him as a performer. “How can you not like Han Solo, what are you talking about?” Robyn and Josh talk about not wanting to push her kids into an interest in what they love but rather trying to expose them to as many different things as possible in the hopes that they’ll find valuable things to care about on their own. And Josh shares an experience of exposing his daughter to a non-traditional cultural experience.

“I really did not want to become someone who’s hopes and dreams were subsumed by their child” Michelle Hensley, co-founder and artistic director of Ten Thousand Things theater company, talks about her early work writing stories in second grade and reading them to the class. She talks about growing spending time at the Des Moines community playhouse and taking art classes at the Des Moines art center. “I wanted to find an audience to whom the story would really matter” Michelle talks about being compelled by noticing that theater seemed to be leaving out a lot of segments of potential audience. This made Michelle really want to address issues of social justice with her work. And it fit well with her desire to reach an audience that isn’t jaded from having already seen so much theater. “My second child is really Ten Thousand Things” Michelle shares how running her own theater company allowed her to structure rehearsal and work schedules around her daughter’s school and activities schedule so that they fit nicely together. And about how her motherhood and her art work influenced and fed off of one another. Michelle talks about how being a mother gives her a deeper understanding of what some of the audiences in women’s prisons were going through. And about how actors and artists have a natural tendency to not condescend or talk down to children and how that helped encourage her daughter to feel listened to and important.

“I really try to get her friends to like things that I want her to do” Owner of Twin Cities Comedy Sportz Twin Cities Doug Ocar talks about the good and the bad of his 10 year old daughters increasing independence. He talks about being a 1st grader in Showtime pal, a traveling kids theater program performing at parks in Iowa. And Doug shares his early fascination with the power of microphones “I just wanted someone I could squeeze and hug and she fulfills that role” Doug talks about how fatherhood serves as a good distraction from doubting himself in every other way. He shares his desire to find a mentor for his daughter that would encourage and propel her. And he talks about teaching his daughter how treating people well and doing the right thing is good for her.  

“For me it is easier to deal with the world when I’m trying to make art about it” Photographer Carrie Thompson about how having a mother who is a painter made her move from painting to photography a subtle act of rebellion. “Having a child is insane” Carrie talks about how personal making art is and how she doesn’t know how to make art that isn’t personal and full of heart. She talks about how the focus on theory in art school can get in the way of actually making work. Carrie talks about being able to hide behind her camera when working on personal things and how that tool serves as a way to communicate and understand very personal things but also serves as a way of avoiding dealing with those very personal things. Carries talks about using the people in her life to try and tell universal stories and get at universal ideas. And talks about how expectations for how a moment or a project will go never line up with how things end up and how that connects to parental expectations. “This is going to change my life for ever and it’s going to be amazing, but its also going to change my life forever” She talks about her ongoing search for the idea of “home” as well as the physical representation of “home.” And about being a mother and raising a child while not being in a romantic partnership with her son’s father.  

“The times that we learn most are when we make mistakes” Improviser, actor, photographer, and arts educator Seniz Lennes talks about the complexity of growing up in a family that supported artistic work but strongly encouraged having a practical job and making creative work a hobby. Seniz talks about being influenced by her musically inclined parents and her large, loud Turkish family. She shares how her father started recording music at the age of 40 and how that has given her confidence to explore new creative work no matter her age or experience level. “I can’t not sing books to my kids” Seniz talks about how being a parent means not having time to wait for inspiration but rather using the free moments that exist and do creative work in those moments. Which results in being more productive and more creative. She talks finding ways to use moments of parental “failure” to talk about how to deal with frustration and failure with her daughters. “The times that we learn most are when we make mistakes” Seniz talks about finding ways to treat being a parent as a job and how that allows her to maintain a personal identity that exists outside of motherhood. And how that allows for reflection on what is and isn’t working in her parenting work. “I feel more creatively inspired since I’ve had kids” Check out Yes and Parenting dot com for more from Seniz

“My behavior modeling for the kids has nothing to do with my artistry” Playwright Sam Graber talks about how much more important his parenting is to him than his work as an artist. He talks about how intentionally he keeps his work as a playwright separate from his work as a father. Sam talks about this love of musical theater as a young person and about his early work creating educational plays for schools and how that helped him realize that talking down to kids wasn’t necessary or helpful. He talks about feeling stifled in the corporate work environment and how that pushed him towards creative work. Same shares his experience of retiring from business and transitioning into full time playwriting. And about trying to explain to his family why he was transitioning from the business world to the world of being a playwright and what that would entail. “I’m just always trying to be there for them and pay attention and talk to them” Sam talks about how figuring out payroll taxes is like writing a good play. He talks about developing and getting better as a playwright and his desire and hope that he will someday be a good dad. “Man, I don’t know if what I’m doing is correct” Sam talks about his goal with playwriting of creating something his kids may some day see as evidence that their dad had something to say about the world and of leaving a legacy behind that will let his grandchildren get a sense of who he was.

“If you criticize my parenting I will fight you” An honest and thoughtful conversation with comic, podcaster, entertainer, musician, improviser, dancer, fight choreographer, producer, and mother Jena Young. Jena talks about growing up as a child at the Minnesota Renaissance Festival and starting to work there herself professional at the early age of 12. She shares the influence of having a father who was an entertainer and mother who made and sold crafts. Jena talks about being a young single mother and how much pre-judgement that carries with it. Plus she talks about the hard work of fighting against stereotypes and social norms. “I spent several years pushing against the idea that since I was an unwed mother I was a bad person or somehow less than” Jena shares her ongoing unwillingness and fight against being put into any categories or “boxes.” Going so far as to say that she pursued Stand-Up comedy partially because it was such a male dominated art form. Meeting her husband, comic Bill Young, while doing comedy and how that informs their relationship and family life. Jena shares an early argument from the beginning of her marriage about what is or isn’t sketch comedy. “There’s definitely a ‘this is what guys do’ feel to offensive humor” You can get more information about Jena's brand new production company by going to Fearless Comedy Productions dot com  

“I feel like I’m sucking at everything” Knight Arts and mnartists.org writer and editor Susannah Schouweiler talks about the blurry lines between work and life when one works from home. Susannah talks about the dark, secret dreams parents have about just disappearing for a while. And about loving what she does but feeling possibly overcommitted and not knowing how to correct for that. She talks about the difference between a career and a job and how writing on the arts in St Paul for the Knight foundation made her start looking at the arts scene in St Paul as separate from the Twin Cities. “If the kids are home I just feel like I’m going to lose my mind, sometimes” Susannah shares her interest in the intertwined fates of arts writers and artists. She discusses how for a lot of largely ephemeral art the best way for a work to endure in the public conversation and imagination is if someone tells a story about it. “Sometimes I just do not want to talk about Thor’s hammer” Susannah also talks about how her role as an editor is about making sure her writers are saying what they want to say and not what she wants to say. She also talks about how that idea behind editing is or isn’t like trying to encourage her kids to be able to express and articulate themselves. And about how hard it is to decide when a piece of writing is done without a deadline and the similarities to how a parent never has the feeling of their job as a parent being done.

“Overwhelmed in the best possible way.” Kate O’Reilly is a creative consultant and creativity professional focused on getting people to the next level on creative projects in the area of marketing, public relations, and personal growth Kate shares her experience having a loss of identity that can come with being a stay at home mom for 10 years and the realization that as a parent there’s an obligation to know and be who you are. And she talks about the decision to leave her marriage and make the career and life she wanted and needed to enrich the lives of her sons while finding her own fulfillment. Kate speaks about definitely knowing what it feels like to live and work as a creative person but also bringing the business chops and being able to help artists find a way to get things done that work for them. Plus, Kate talks about the power of social media to build relationships and learn more about yourself. And the art of non-traditional usage of Social Media.

“What’s the harm in showing to your child by example, why the hell not do something that you love?” In this episode Musician Sean Roderick, of the band Wolff Jabbr, talks about how he started playing the cello in grade school and the role Jerry Lee Lewis had in his becoming a piano player. Sean talks about getting lost in the moment while on stage and how that translates to moments with his daughter. Getting over being in conflict about whether you’re making the right choices and embracing the experiences as they happen. The importance of remaining open to new discoveries as a musician and a dad.

“The way I parent is based very much on remembering how things made me feel as a kid.” -Quillan This episode features Kim & Quillan Roe of the Roe Family Singers. Quillan shares how he went from wanting to be George Lucas to being a band leader. While Kim shares her early and ongoing desire to become the singer Prince. In a clear effort to demonstrate how there’s no separation between family and work life for the Roes One and a half year old Onnee keeps a playing, singing, and dancing show running throughout the conversation. Quillan talks about his dad’s eclectic taste set him up well for the kind of old-time but with punk influences music the band makes now. He also shares how releasing his youthful anger in rock and punk bands made him not need to make angry music anymore. We hear about how Kim had never performed anything in front of an audience until they formed the Roe Family singers. Plus, Kim talks about playing shows while wearing an infant.