You're Welcome with Mel and Patience

The elephant in the room. Could 'Board Game Bars' be a hit in Australia? I'm young, single and beginning IVF a.s.a.p. but my mother is chagrined. Is my band name rad or sad? I love a legit 'perfect' but already taken guy... should I move on or put the moves on? I'm a teenager, in Tasmania and I feel alone - help me ladies with some confidence tips please. Thank you for being a friend.

Emotional manipulation OMG! My hairdresser hacked too hard and it's party season, help me restore my confidence. I need an injection of new slang words to impress peeps with. Sixteen and stressed out, ladies help me manage. I've been chosen to represent a whole country at an international debating competition but I've never debated! I think I have a Mrs. Eyeball situation on my hands but my parents are not happy. My 21 year old BFF is single and trying to get knocked up! I get hot under the collar when it comes to feet, how do I tell my new GF? Patience I love you and I'm having relationship problems, weird hey?

Is there a Doctor in the house? YES! Special guest Lindsay 'The Doctor' McDougall (ironically he's sick). Patience asks Lindsay for album writing advice. We help out a 16 year old slaving away in a fish n chip shop. Lindsay tells us about his first job! Ding dong, Seja Vogel drops by (again). What to you do when a friends BF wants to buy you gifts? I'm scared of prematurely becoming a cat lady. How do I avoid this? The gang debate 'the friends zone' - does it exist and more importantly how do you avoid it? Help! I live on an island full of revolting men. Do I leave or do I get more dogs?

Mel gets advice on lentil cookery from Patience. Special guest Comedian Josh Earl! What should we call our indie, semi-acoustic punk band? Girls always break up with me because I’m too nice, what should I do? I don’t have much money, how can I party with limited funds? Who are our favourite characters from 30 Rock and Parks and Recreation? Patience puts an ‘S’ on everything. Is stealing toilet paper wrong? How should I deal with my sunburnt feet? Question of The Week! My prison penpal won’t write back to me, what should I do?

Tom Ballard from Triple J is our special guest! Could you be a good fag hag? I don’t want to go to university, what do I tell my parents? Question of The Week! Did I go to far when I urinated in a girl’s hat at Fall’s Festival? What names did we get called by bullies? Who are our sponsors? I’m tall, is it ok for me to hit the dance floor at concerts? How do you make conversation with famous people? How will we celebrate the 1-year anniversary of The Minutes Podcast? Salt and Pepper, which spice goes in which shaker?

John Patterson from The Grates asks us how to deal with telemarketers. We give advice on how to audition for drag roles in musicals. Asking strangers out, how to remove the creep factor. Patience and Mel have both been asked out by Americans. Smoothie tips for rookie blender owners. How not to be a Nigel no mates on the first day of uni. Question of the week! I’m a fitness instructor should I let a guy I like come to watch me teach body pump? Cool restaurants? Yeah we know some. Name that car. We don’t know anything about Kombi Vans. We talk about movies we heart.

Qantas Club etiquette. We invent the faux blow to solve any problem. Where should I go on my around the world trip, packing tips? Who would we go gay for? Money saving tips for people who’ve recently left home. Someone I like has become single, when and how should I make my move? How can I inspire myself to eat well and exercise? Someone bought me a Christmas present but I didn’t get them one what should I do?

Should you follow back on twitter? How do you tell someone you want to pash them? Can you over coddle a dog? Should I work for the government or stay at uni? I don't want to be an introvert how can I change? A guy asked for my number but hasn't called? Advanced Twistie Management. Tickling, rad or bad? Burnt out teacher seeks new career.